//------------------------------// // I Have A Journey, Sir, Shortly to Go... // Story: General Amnesty // by Cynewulf //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash pretended to read the paper a bit after lunch. She wasn’t sure exactly what time it was, and—to be honest—she didn’t care. Haystack would’ve been livid that she wasn’t keeping tabs of the schedule. But Rainbow Dash wasn’t one for waiting as it was, and counting the hours only seemed to make them longer. Besides, Uncle Malachite would be along whether she kept up with the time or not. The morning had been tense and relaxed in turn. One moment, she would be sure that the game was up and that everything had been spoiled. The next, she would be sipping coffee and enjoying an altogether pleasant morning. It just didn’t feel real. The coffee had gotten a bit old. Not that particular mug, which was new, but the constant coffee drinking. Her nerves were starting to bother her. The Viceroy and his contingent weren’t scheduled to be at the stop before his rendezvous with death until two in the afternoon. Thirty minutes or so there, and then fifteen or so until the second to last stop to place a wreath on the sight of a monument to Equestria’s fallen. It made her sick. That was a lie. Actually, she imagined him doing it and—damn it all—could imagine his face being all earnest and honest and disgustingly sincere. And, more than fury, she just felt an emptiness in her chest—an ache. Maud waited, still as the stones she was so enamored with, on a low-lying roof. She was easy to miss. Ponies’ eyes often passed over the absolutely still things in the world, and few ponies could be as absolutely still for as long as Maud Pie could. Not much longer to go, she figured. Not much longer. Attempts to hype herself up for what was to come fell flat. This did not feel even remotely like the old dangerous days of rebellion. It certainly didn’t feel like the war. It mostly just felt a little sweaty, and anxious. It was hard not to think about Applejack. What was she doing? Cursing Rainbow Dash and her foolishness, no doubt. But what besides? Where was she? Rainbow wished that she knew. Daydreaming overtook her. She saw Applejack working on her farm before the war, and herself sleeping in one of the many trees, legs dangling from some sturdy branch. The cloudless sky, abyssal blue, and the gentle breeze; Applejack taking off her wide brimmed hat to wipe her brow and notice the sleeping pegasus in her tree; the kick that jolted Rainbow awake and sent her flying in a panic right into Applejack; the two of them rolling and brawling and yelling and laughing in the grass. Another! Another, because the first had filled some hole in her and she craved memory. Applejack saving a bit of the family’s personal cider for her friend, the weatherpony, and the two of them staying up late on a harvest season’s end to drink and laugh until together they were alternating between drunken hoof-wrestling and what was unanimously agreed upon by the town as the worst sing-a-long in the history of Ponyville. A sloppy, hasty, sodden kiss amidst a laughing crowd of friends that left them both more flustered than they’d expect and more embarrassed than she cared to admit. Rainbow Dash put down the paper and rubbed her eyes. For the first time in a long time, she wanted only one thing. Not victory, nor revenge. She wanted to go home. She wanted it so badly, and she didn’t even know where home was. She just wanted it. But it was too late. Applejack wouldn’t want her back, not with this. Even if she didn’t go through with it, then what? She’d made her choice. She’d made her bed, even. She’d taken the axe to her own tree and now she was stuck. That was about when Applejack herself stepped off of the street and strolled casually to her table beneath the awning and sat across from her. Rainbow Dash, never without some quip or boast, was speechless. “Haystack is a fine fellow, don’t you think?” “That bastard sold me out.” Rainbow blinked and felt her forelegs go slack. The newspaper hit the floor. “Not at all,” Applejack drawled. “Nah, he gave you the right time an’ place, the contraption works, all of that. Everything is in order for you to do whatcha wanna.” “Why are you here?” “Why do you think?” Applejack asked. She looked over Rainbow’s shoulder and hailed the waiter. Dash waited for her to order coffee—black, no sugar or fancy fixin’s thank you—and then leaned in to whisper furiously, “What the hell? Do you have any idea how bad this is going to be? Did you come to talk me down, or what?” “Ain’t sure yet.” “You’re not sure? Are you crazy? Did you lose your damn mind?” hissed Rainbow Dash. She wasn’t angry. For the first time in this long ordeal she was absolutely terrified. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Applejack was supposed to somewhere else. Preferably somewhere a very long way away, but certainly not here across the table from her, twenty feet from where Malachite the Younger was going to get blown to ragged bits. Another memory, but not one she liked. No, it was less a single, solid memory, and more flashes of dozens of moments coalescing into a cloud of choking horror, like watching fragile wine glasses falling from some height in slow motion. Applejack leaving her factory behind and meeting up with the partisans in the Ponyville square, her face set but bright and unblemished by conflict. The roar of cannonfire and mage’s fury. Applejack leaping from a bridge, the faulty charges set off barely in time. She struggled in the river while Rainbow Dash flew overhead, looking for her hat, her hoof, something at all to grab ahold of in the churning muddy waters as the bridge exploded. Running from the invader’s garrison in Manehattan, taking a wrong turn and colliding with a brick wall. Applejack frantically searching for some door, Rainbow grabbing her and trying to fly straight up and her wings faltering as she tuned out the shouting below. So many near-escapes. It was a great record of surviving, and she didn’t care a bit. Because it never felt like victory after the first time. Because sometimes it had been too close. Seconds had decided whether or not her wife or herself had lived or died. She laid awake in cots and in forest camps staring into the yawning dark thinking that it had been too close, and that all of what happened afterwards was a lie, like in the books where you saw things before death’s last play and thought you were alive. “So, what’s your plan?” Applejack asked, lounging idly in her chair. “Did you not ask?” “I did, but Haystack was eager to push me out the door with some directions.” Rainbow shifted one way and then the other. She looked around, and saw only an elderly stallion on the other side of the patio, also with a newspaper. He didn’t seem to be listening. Rainbow watched him a second more, looked for another waitress, and groaned softly. “A present for Uncle,” Rainbow said in a rush. “Delivered by air mail.” “Ah, I getcha,” Applejack drawled. She looked over Dash’s shoulder and smiled wide. “Thankya, ma’am,” she told the pretty unicorn who levitated a mug of coffee with her. The mare wished her a good afternoon, and wandered off. “Maud’s nearby in case I get lost,” Dash continued, feeling eyes on her back. “It’s all set. Just waiting.” “Guess I’ll wait too, then.” “Celestia, AJ,” Rainbow hissed. “What do you want?” replied Applejack mildly. She gazed down into her coffee—black, no fancy fixin’s—and who knows what she saw there. “I’m here, you’re here. Uncle will be along any moment now, and you and I and Cousin Pie will have us a nice little party. Ain't’ that what you wanted?” “So, what, you think this is a good idea?” “Hell nah.” Applejack took a sip. “Chicory. I like this place.” “Then why are you here?” Applejack didn’t answer at first. She let the question linger, like a foal struggling to pull itself up from a cliff. The question dangled in the wind, as if any moment it might fall and she would open her mouth and answer, but it just… kept not happening. Dash waited and waited, and still no explanation came. Applejack just drank her coffee, and then caught her eyes and lifted an eyebrow as if she was expecting Dash to catch up with her. Until at last, she sighed. “You really need me to say it?” “Uh, yeah. ‘Cause I’m really, really confused right now. You’re here, and you aren’t trying to drag me off by force.” “Tempted to, for sure,” Applejack admitted softly. “Rainbow, I’m here cause I love you.” Dash blinked. Her eyes watered. “I love you too.” “Glad to hear it. You still don’t get it?” “I…” Applejack sighed. She reached across the table. Automatically, like a student reciting her lesson by rote, Rainbow Dash reached and laid her foreleg along the table so that they touched. “Dash, hon, I love you. This is suicidally stupid. Even if you don’t die, everything will be worse. This is the worst idea you’ve ever, ever had. That’s sayin’ somethin’, too, cause you ain’t really one for good ideas.” Rainbow chuckled nervously, and AJ smirked. “ I love you, but it’s true. But I can’t stop you now. I was too late. I coulda stopped you a week ago, maybe.” “You left right after I did, didn’t you?” “Oh, as soon as I woke up. I’m assumin’ that’s why you got me drunk.” Rainbow flushed and looked away. “I wanted to have some fun before you disowned me.” Appleack raised an eyebrow, and Dash shrugged. “Nah, I just didn’t wanna think about it.” “Well, I woke up around noon and you weren’t anywhere. Figured you were just out for a quick lap out to the drop off until about one. Made myself some lunch, sat on the porch with a pipe, listened to the sea. When you didn’t come back by one o’ clock, I left you a note just in case, then headed into town for the station.” “I got up around five.” “You, up before the sun? Miracles. Signs and portents,” Applejack muttered. “Figures.” “I... “ Rainbow wasn’t sure what she could even say. “So you’re just gonna help me?” “Yeah.” “You’re not here to drag me off?” “Would it work?” Rainbow paused and then shook her head. “No, probably not.” “There you go. There’s a point where things start to spiral out of control.” “Is that where we are?” Rainbow asked as she leaned back in her chair, feeling… she wasn’t sure what she was feeling. Fear, mostly. Relief, maybe. “Not quite. Not until you leave that chair.” Rainbow squinted at her. “What’s that mean?” Applejack just kind of sighed and rested her head on a hoof. “Rainbow, can I jus’ tell you that you’re not much brighter ‘n me, and that I both love and hate that about you? It’s simple. I’m here ‘cause I love you, and cause I ain’t gonna let you die without me. We’ve always been that way. But nothin’ is certain. Uncle’s gonna be rollin’ by pretty soon, but until then it’s all up in the air. You and I could have a nice afternoon and be on a train home. You could just get up and fly back to Haystack’s and take a long nap on his couch, draw yourself a mighty fine bath, whatever you will. “Or, when he comes, you could deliver your present. It’s a bad, bad idea. It’s the worst idea you’ve ever had in that head of yours. It’ll cause us all so much grief, and I don’t know what will happen to you and me afterwards. I hope we’ll both make it, but I don’t think we will. Not after all this.” They were quiet, then. The afternoon progressed with agonizing slowness. The old pony in the corner with the newspaper left after a while. The waitress returned and brought them both a glass of cold water and asked if they were new in the city. Applejack chatted with her, just to be neighborly. Then they were alone again. Some of the fight, some of the vigor, had just gone out of Rainbow. “I didn’t expect you to show up. And if you did show up, I expected you to be furious,” Rainbow said. “Oh, I’m plum pissed at you, don’t get me wrong.” Rainbow sighed. “Yeah you really seem mad right now. Super mad.” “I’m tryin’ not to be conspicuous. Opsec is still a thing, y’know.” “Yeah. Yeah, okay, that’s fair.” Applejack looked away from her, eyes scanning the street as ponies began to file in. Rainbow followed her gaze, and the two of them watched as the crowd slowly thickened. It was almost time. Their conversation had been frustrating and circular, which she supposed was fitting for a last conversation. Rainbow didn’t believe in last words, not anymore. Last words and death speeches were a thing you believed in when you were younger because you wanted to give it all some dignity without even knowing why yet—because dignity and symmetry felt right, because the wrongness of endings grated and was wrong in a way that even later you would not be able to articulate. But the world was, like a mountain top, coming to a point. The further along you got, the less room there was for things like coherent conversation and doubt and feelings. The world came to a point,and before that final destination there was a winnowing that sorted out the quick and the dead, and Rainbow Dash felt it pressing her and confining her into a binary choice. Kill or do not kill. Not kill or be killed—no, that wasn’t what was going to happen. If she could believe that Malachite the Younger had meant this all as a ruse or trap, bombing his carriage would be a simple task. Dropping that deadly gift from the sky would be a matter of survival, were such a double cross on the horizon. But she knew that it wasn’t. She knew that it made sense. The Empire couldn’t afford to chase them forever, and it no longer wanted to do so. So it was murder, plain and simple. Yet even as her stomach churned, it felt justified. What suffering there had been at the Viceroy’s personal order? How many ponies had been taken from their homes and had their choices stolen by Sombra’s horrible contraptions? How many villages were burnt-out husks? If anyone deserved to bathe in flames it was him. But Applejack was right, and she’d always known that. “What are you afraid of, really?” Applejack asked. They did not face each other, both pairs of eyes watching the street. “Nothing’s going to be set right. Nothing is going to be punished.” “Fair. Why’s it gotta be?” “Because ponies died and were hurt and you can’t just let somepony do that.” Applejack shuddered. “I know it. But that ain’t what this is about.” “Then what’s it about?” “You don’t want them to hurt you again.”