Luckily enough, Valina was a lot closer than I thought. It seemed she was already on the way back into town from wherever she'd gone. That actually made things easier and more complicated all at once. Getting her close enough to let her take down Toothpick in time would be easy enough. The hard part would be delaying her long enough that Dad and the others could successfully remove the gold so Tennessee's historic heist was still recorded properly while leaving the evidence to finger Toothpick, but not so long she got there after the fight was over. I was pretty sure that was going to be difficult...
Valina lightly jogged along the clifftop back towards her jurisdiction, easily clearing wide leaps from one promontory to another. She was dressed in a sand colored jacket, a dark blue blouse tied in a knot under her bust line, faded blue jeans, a ten gallon hat, and thick riding boots shaped from years of wear to match her feet and calves. Her twin revolvers were strapped to her hips, along with two derringers in her boot heels, a pistol strapped to the inside of her hat, a bayonet in her jacket along her spine, and seven bolas concealed in the stripes of her tail. She couldn't help but feel naked with so few of her weapons at hand.
Still, she had been told to take it easy, and she would listen...to a certain extent. At least, she'd listen after she tracked Kid down and learned what kind of man he really was...and beat the tar out of him three different ways if he was the wrong kind. Thus why she was moving at a slow jog rather than a dead run like she preferred to. It would be time enough when she finally tracked him down.
"Hi."
Valina blinked as she slowed down. It wasn't every day she was caught off guard...but a talking pony sitting on a metal crab did it. "Ah didn'a think that mushroom looked odd," she murmured worriedly, thinking back to a quick meal she'd made herself. She knew the plantlife around here pretty well, and was sure she knew the ones that were safe to eat. "Or did ah drink from th' wrong kinda cactus? Please say it's the cactus, 'tain't harmful in th' long run..."
The filly giggled. "I'm not a hallucination, I promise," she spoke up readily.
"Forgive me if'n ah don't take th' possible hallucination's word 'bout its reality at face value," Valina responded curtly, resting her hands on her hips.
"Kid showed me the portrait," the filly offered playfully. "You can think of me as the family matchmaker." She giggled softly. "Everyone else does."
Valina raised an eyebrow. "So...friend o' th' family, or actual family?"
"Actual," the filly offered, lifting a cane with a distinctive hook.
Valina instantly recognized the shape from Kid's gun. She glanced again at the metal crab as two circles that were definitely eyes of some sort swiveled towards her. "...so what do ah need ta pretend not ta see ta preserve the timeline?" she demanded curtly.
The filly blinked in surprise. "How did you know I was from the future?" she gasped out in shock.
"A few thangs," Valina allowed. "Ya ain't lookin' at me wit' disdain or anythang like that, but ya ain't got an Eastern accent. 'Round here, that means ya must be from a more enlightened time about mixed breeds...so either ancient past or different future. Trains move on their own, but they ain't got eyes yet, or are that small." She shrugged her shoulders. "But mostly it's th' only explanation fer why Kid wouldn't tell me about some 'family matchmaker' afore she showed up that didn' end in me kickin' his nuts out his nostrils, bein' he didn't know ya existed yet."
The filly giggled wickedly. "Wow, Cooper males really do have a type," she murmured in wonder. She held out her hoof. "Coco Cooper, start of the third millennium."
Valina accepted the offered shake. "Valina Strype," she greeted warmly. "Yer from th' future, ya know what year it is now better'n me."
"Strype?" Coco asked curiously.
Valina shrugged. "When ya grow up at a church orphanage, ya get whatever last name the Mother thinks suits ya. Ah liked Strype better'n Stripe-dog. Ah ain't got no badger in me." She glanced towards her jurisdiction. "So...what do ah need ta not see?"
"Any gold we miss," Coco responded readily. "Tennessee is legendary for his gold heist, but an armadillo from our time caught him off guard and took the gold for himself, painting himself the new sheriff and locking Tennessee up for catching him at the scene before he could do anything. We're taking Toothpick down and taking the gold to wherever Tennessee was going to stash it...but you need to be the one to take down Toothpick if you're to keep your rep, right? That's something the others forgot about."
"Pretty sure breakin' th' timeline is a worse crime than grand theft," Valina decided firmly. "Just show me th' way."
"Why'd you leave town, anyway?" Coco asked as the metal crab she rode turned and raced away, leading Valina on a fast paced chase. "I know he planned the heist specifically for when you were out of town to make his legend while being able to retire without you having to arrest him, but why'd you leave?"
"Had ta see someone who knew what they were doin' and did'na judge hybrids," Valina responded readily. "Know one lady, but she's way outta mah way and don't like towns and cities."
Coco tilted her head thoughtfully...and then her eyes widened in shock. "Missed your time of the month?" she asked curiously.
"None o' yer business!" Valina snapped out angrily.
"Is it Tennessee's business?" Coco pressed impishly.
"Ye ain't born yet in th' now!" Valina growled. "Won't break the timeline now if'n ah shoot ya!"
"Assuming you can hit me!" Coco taunted playfully as she spun her cane.
That proved easier than I thought. And when we actually got to the train...
"My gun!" Tennessee Kid called out in despair as a group of Le Paradox's goons made off with Ol' Blue.
Toothpick cackled wickedly as he watched the Cooper's despair. "You should have known you couldn't best me-HURK!"
In the midst of his taunt, Valina leapt down from the clifftop onto the moving train, bleeding the momentum of her fall in a drop kick into Toothpick's shell, trusting the armor to keep the blow from being lethal. Flipping back off him, she delivered a spinning kick with her other leg to his chin, an elbow into his gut, and a thrusting palm strike to his solar plexus to send him skidding and tumbling back against the front of the train car. "Can't ah take mah eyes off ya fer ten minutes without ya gettin' in trouble, Kid?" she groaned as she slowly stood upright, catching her jacket as the weight of the bayonet and the strength of the wind caused it to fall right into her hands from where she took it off higher up.
"Valina?" Kid gasped in surprise. "What're ya doin' here?"
"'Cordin' ta yer 'family matchmaker', fixin' history," Valina joked as she sauntered towards him.
Kid's eyes widened as he saw Toothpick expanding to a huge size behind Valina, his guns drawn. "Valina! Behind-"
Almost before Valina finished turning around, six shots rang out from her revolvers. Two pierced Toothpick's expanded kneecaps. Two sent his guns flying. The last two pierced his long ears, the shockwave from their passage causing him to scream as he collapsed, clutching at them as he shrank back to normal size. "So what's th' protocol fer arrestin' a Time Criminal?" she asked curiously. "Ah assume there is one?"
"Not yet," Carmelita spoke up as she and Sly leapt onto the scene. "But Interpol will probably have something hashed out once I file the report on this case...assuming they believe me."
Valina glanced from Carmelita to Sly. "...so yer what she meant about Cooper guys havin' a type?" she asked rakishly.
"Am ah in trouble?" Kid asked worriedly.
"Depends how many years ya planned ta 'help me' search uselessly fer 'the real gold thief'," Valina drawled wickedly.
"Th' rest of our lives?" Kid offered hopefully.
Valina smiled warmly. "Good answer, Kid," she purred before grabbing him by the front of his shirt and pulling him into a deep kiss.
"Woof," Murray murmured in amazement from the van. "And I thought Sly and Carmelita lacked inhibitions after China!"
"To be fair, their clothes are still on," Bentley pointed out. "...okay, spoke too soon..."
We gave Valina and Kid some privacy, letting the train keep running while we dealt with Toothpick. We had a momentary issue with the van's breaks - especially since van and train were heading for a broken bridge - but timely intervention by the Turbokat fixed both issues.
...okay, while zooming down to grab the van and take it into the air made perfect sense, why in the world did they bring a 'bridge missile' with them? Why the heck did they even have a missile designed to rapidly repair a broken bridge? What sort of absurd situations do they deal with in Megakat City to even make them think to create such 'weaponry'?
Still, we dealt with Toothpick by dropping him off with Uncle Scrooge to house until we could deal with him more permanently. Since the van's engines - and the time drive - were still going nuts, we sought out the next time shift item as fast as possible...which turned out to be the necklace Uncle Murray had worn since his time with Guru. Apparently, the bone on it dated back to a prehistoric era that was being altered.
...this was going to be interesting...