Chapter 7: Going Out in Style
Rarity landed on a small child crossing the street.
“Oh, sorry, dear, but thank you. You did a good job of breaking my fall.”
The kid groaned. “You did a good job of breaking my legs...”
Rarity trotted off. “Well, it’s not the worst thing to have happened to me. I can still get around this! I’ll look to see what’s in style.”
“This looks like a good place,” Rarity said, entering a “Forever 21” store.
2 seconds later, she ran out screaming, then threw up on the small child who was trying to crawl to a hospital to mend its broken legs.
“That was terrible!”
“Did you just go into forever 21?”
“Yes, how did you know?”
“I had a feeling. Well, not in my legs, but...”
Rarity trotted away. This was just getting depressing.
Walking down the street, she saw people doing shopping, and playing in the snow. She also saw a crazy fanatic standing on the top of a stage at the street corner shouting doom prophocies.
“Cease your Christmas shopping, everyone, a listen!For today, on December 21, 2012, the world is going to end, and we’re all gon die!”
“Shut up, Elijah, you were shouting the same thing in 2006 when you thought the Rapture was going to come, except you were yelling, ‘Repent sinners,” and throwing crosses at homeless people!”
Elijah glared down at the person on the crowd. “My grandmother mislead me! Anyway, this time it’s real! A giant asteroid is going to come and kill us all!”
The crowd began to disperse, calling Elijah things like “crazy lunatic” and “dumbass.”
Elijah looked around wildly, and then settled in on Rarity.
“Rarity! You believe me, right?”
“Um, actually...”
“OH MY GOD, RARITY!” Elijah rushed down from his stage and hugged her full on, stroking her hair and inhailing her scent deeply.
“And I thought Spike was a creepy stalker!”
Spike popped up from the ground.“HAH! You thought I wasn’t going to make it into this story! But you were wrong! And hey, who are you calling a creepy stalker?”
Elijah kicked Spike into a dumpster.
“Oh, Rarity, you are so awesome! I mean, you aren’t my favorite, but you’ll do!”
“I’ll do?” Rarity said, clearly insulted.
“Yes! Anyway, there’s this giant-”
“HOLY SHIT! A GIANT ASTEROID!”
Elijah and Rarity both looked up simultaneously into the sky, and lo and behold, a giant asteroid was plummeting towards the earth and 7 million miles an hour.
Mass hysteria and panic ensued.
“HAHA! I knew I was right!” Elijah shouted triumphantly, doing his ‘dance of triumph’ which looked a lot like the chicken dance.
“Hey, why isn’t everyone congratulating me on being ri- oh, right, the asteroid,” Elijah said, realizing what was going on.
The Asteroid smashed into the earth, killing everyone.