//------------------------------//
// Chapter Four: When Push Comes to Shove 
// Story: Kleptomania 
// by Divide 
//------------------------------//

Kleptomania

Chapter Four: When Push Comes to Shove




After Umbra and I had traversed a good amount of distance, the tunnel abruptly ended. I shined my torch upwards then clicked it off and put it away. Sure enough, there was a rusted, circular grate that was embedded in the factory floor. Beams of moonlight shined down from the skylights, illuminating the dust particles that floated freely. Apparently, the grate's only use was to drain the facility in case of flooding—and it was our ticket inside.

Had I been a cat burglar, the skylights would've provided ample opportunities for a stealthy approach. However, I learned long ago that scaling buildings was definitely not my forte—when you fall, you fall hard. I'd much rather go underneath something to gain entrance rather than climb above it.

"How are we supposed to get up that?"

I grinned underneath my mask. "Think about who you're with."

With only the light of the moon and the surreptitious sliding of metal-on-concrete betraying our position, I climbed up the circular pipe, using my feet and back as bracers while shimmying my way up. I crawled out and made sure the coast was clear before unclasping a section of rope from my belt. 

"Well then," Umbra commented from beneath me, her voice echoing slightly. She looked displeased at how easily I managed. "You're making me look bad."

"Oh, hush." I quickly knotted a loop big enough for Umbra to fit her front hooves through, then tossed that end of the rope down the pipe. "If it makes you feel any better, there's nobody around, which means your secret's safe with me."

Since she was balancing on two legs to grab onto the dangling rope, Umbra nearly fell over onto her ten-ply rear, but she thankfully managed to fit her cumbersome hooves into the provided loop.

"You good?" I asked.

"Just peachy," was the response. "I feel like a marionette. Hurry up!"

I resisted the urge to move her forelegs up and down like a puppet master. It was tough, but I managed. Soberly, I began pulling the rope hand-over-hand. Umbra may have only been waist high, but that didn't mean she was light, and I also had to fight gravity. My shoulders were burning before she was even half way up, but I managed to pull her up before my grip accidentally loosened. As I sat there, chest heaving, the only thing I really wanted to do was crawl back into bed and sleep off my injuries. For some reason, I was missing the normal burst of energy that surreptitious robbery gave me.

The grate took on a translucent silver sheen as Umbra magically placed it back over the entrance to the pipe. Smart girl: always cover your tracks, especially if you don't know how long you were going to take.

Something clicked inside my head and made me realize why I wasn't feeling up to par.

"How would you have gotten up here if I wasn't around?" I asked between breaths. "Even if you got the grate off... could you have pulled yourself up with magic?"

Umbra scratched the back of her head with a hoof. "Uh... probably not."

I idly scratched my chin. "Would an earth pony or Pegasus have helped in any way?"

She peered down through the grate before answering. "Cutter might have been able to hoist me up the same way you did, but he'd be stuck down there, and he would need to be up here to get past the magical pacification resonation barrier. Ace is probably strong enough to push the grate while flying, but he couldn't get past the barrier either."

I frowned. "Why's that?"

"Every pegasus has a little bit of magic inside them," Umbra explained with a smile. I could tell she was enjoying being the one with information. "It helps them fly and it's why they can walk on clouds. The fastest Pegasi are the ones with the most magic. Almost all of them have enough of it for the pacifier to repel them."

Huh. You learn something every day...

"So let me get this straight: if you brought anyone other than me, this grate would've stopped you dead?"

Umbra's eyes unfocused for a second before looking into mine. "Yeah, pretty much. Good thing Cutter was busy, I guess."

Suspicion was tugging at me.

"Your brother is normally thorough as hell with all of his damn details. One time, he gave me the blueprint to an apartment complex that was more detailed and accurate than the one I pinched from the architect. I don't get it. This is downright sloppy."

Umbra was staring at the ground, deep in thought.

"When did you learn about the magic stopping... thingamajig?"

"Right before I woke you up. Lumis said he had just found out from one of his sources."

The gears in my head were slowly turning. "'Just found out'? He plans everything weeks in advance." I pondered the dilemma for a few seconds. "Does he talk about any of his sources? Do you know any of them?" 

Umbra shook her head.

"Does anybody know?"

She shook her head again. I was starting to get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Did he tell you specifically to ask me for help?"

"No... but... I mean, who else was I gonna ask? Cutter was busy with a safe, Mandy's visiting family. That left you."

I held my head with one hand as the clockwork in my noggin began to coalesce into a dreadful realization. "I think... I think we've been set up, Umbra."

"What?! How?!" she whispered loudly.

I stood up and slowly did a full three hundred and sixty degree spin. We were in the exact centre of the factory, the floor slightly tapered towards the pipe we climbed out of. A massive boiler of some sort sat idle against the north wall. There was a series of conveyor belts with multiple machines for stamping, pressing, heating, cooling, and who-knew-what-else spaced intermittently along the east and west sides. Each machine was connected to the boiler by a metal pipe wide enough to fit my head into. The south side had a large bay door, probably the main entrance. Everything was a shade of grey in the moonlight. It was eerily quiet.

"You said there was supposed to be engineers working on something and possibly a watchman accompanying them." I motioned with my hands to the silent, static equipment around me. "There's nobody here."

"They could be... on break?" Umbra supplied lamely. I could hear the apprehension in her voice.

I looked up, thankful for the light filtering down from the nearly full moon. A catwalk—ponywalk?—some fifty feet above the ground and made of wood went along the whole inside of the building. There was a staircase leading up to it on both sides. At the south end, above the main entrance, the catwalk lead to some sort of enclosed room that was almost assuredly the Headmaster's office.

"If something's too easy, you're doing it wrong or you're missing something," I muttered to myself. I turned to Umbra. Go up the left stairs. I'll take the right. Be as quiet as you can, and if anything happens, get out as quickly as possible, and whatever you do, don't go back to the Institute."

She nodded, and we made our way in opposite directions. I was expecting a siren to begin wailing with every step I took, but the only sound a heard was the soft creaking of the wood under my feet. We met up in front of the door of the suspended office after what felt like an eternity.

"There isn't even a lock on it," Umbra whispered.

I twisted the handle and gently pushed the door, letting it slowly swing open. It was indeed an office, complete with a large desk, a comfortable looking high-backed chair, filing cabinets, and stacks of paper neatly organized, if haphazardly placed. A large picture hung behind the chair, a landscape of the Manehattan coast on a summer day. I crept in, still expecting an alarm of some sort.

There were none. The room was exactly what it should have been: an administrative office space used for keeping track of merchandise, shipments, and personnel.

Umbra poked her head in and looked around. She stepped inside, and her expression soured. "There's no barrier in here. I've only seen one, but I know they're big, noisy, and impossible to miss."

I dropped all pretenses of stealth and began searching every nook and cranny for a hidden cache or veiled safe, as there was not a single thing out in the open that screamed, 'I'm valuable'. I checked every drawer of the desk and even the floorboards. As I was taking the picture frame off, Umbra spoke up again.

"Robert... I think you're right. I think we're wasting our time."

Hearing my name, I stopped abruptly. Only a few members of the crew knew my birth name: Fence, Umbra, and Silver, to be exact. The others referred to me mostly as 'Hands' when in my presence or indirectly as 'the tall one', 'night prowler', or my personal favourite, 'Burgles'.

I put the portrait back on the wall, but not before checking behind it to make sure. Once a thief, always a thief. "For the record, I didn't want to be right," I said solemnly. "I really didn't." I checked my watch. It was just past the witching hour, about five minutes after three in the morning. A lot could have happened in the two hours we had been gone.

I walked out of the office with Umbra following in my wake. I shut the door without bothering to be quiet. "So, uh... what do we do now?" she asked. "Do we go back the way we came, or..?"

I snorted. "Was that the original exit plan? A return trip through the piping and a shimmy up the spout?"

She made a noise halfway between a grumble and a sigh.

"If you want to spend a couple hours struggling just to get your flank marooned again, by all means, go for it." Umbra's dark face gained a hint of red. "I think there's a much easier way out," I said as I noticed one of the nearby skylights had a latch, probably for ventilation. I popped it opened with a click, causing it to swing outward, and then poked my head out and looked down. "Much, much easier."

We were about fifteen meters from the surface, and that surface was the ocean. Glittering waves rose and fell slowly and steadily. The jump wouldn't kill us, but hypothermia might, as it was a decent swim back to the breakwater. "Alright, maybe faster would be a better word," I muttered. "Wetter and colder, too." I felt Umbra's presence beside me as she stuck her head out the window.

"This'll work," she murmured. "This will definitely work. You trust me, right?" Her yellow eyes sparkled with mischief.

I gulped. "Trust is a strong word, you know..."

Umbra closed her eyes and frowned in concentration. Her horn began to give off a silver radiance. I felt a tingling sensation over my entire body, almost like somebody had washed my clothes with menthol. I looked down and saw the aura of Umbra's magic coating me entirely, and when I looked up I noticed it had enveloped her, too.

"Uh... why are we glowing?"

She opened her eyes, though they were focused on the distance. "Waterproofing spell. Hard to keep going. Jump when I say go."

Oh boy. Magic users could pull off some crazy stunts, but I knew Umbra wasn't the most powerful or accurate unicorn around. I hoped it didn't misfire spectacularly and make us fall through the water like it was air. Being buried at sea was not the way I wanted to vamoose.

"... Alright."

I crouched on the sill and made sure all of my possessions were securely fastened.

"Go!"

I jumped and did my best not to flail wildly. I hit the water feet first faster than I expected, and heard another splash that had to be Umbra. Kicking and paddling with my hands, I swam up and broke the surface before taking a breath, not wanting to test if I could breathe underwater. The spell seemed to be working; I felt no moisture on my body that wasn't my own, though I could still feel the coldness of the ocean around me. Thankfully, I was still buoyant. When I spotted Umbra, she was already several meters ahead of me, dog-paddling—pony-paddling?—towards the shore.

I had a mean breast-stroke, and within a few seconds I had caught up to her. She was huffing and puffing like a train engine. I had no idea how much energy or concentration the waterproof spell took from her, so I put an arm around her midsection and helped her along until we arrived at the jetty.

Thankfully, the designers were considerate and had placed a series of ladders along the edge of the barrier. The breakwater was quite popular during the tourist season, and distracted ponies weren't the most sure-footed of creatures. As soon as we were both out of the ocean, Umbra released the spell and collapsed onto the concrete, panting. I sat down beside her, a lot drier than I should have been.

"That was impressive," I stated. "Remind me to never bet against magic."

"Th.... Thanks."

As I waited for Umbra to regain her stamina, I pondered our situation. Only one thing was certain: we couldn't go back to the Institute, not until we had information or an infiltration plan. I had no safehouse to lay low in and no money on my person.

I took my balaclava off. The moist, salty air made my scalp and unshaven face tingle. There wasn't much to do besides bide time, and there was only one other place I knew of that accepted me and my ilk.

Frosty's Tavern.

"Hey Umbra, feel like grabbing a drink?"