Deadpool strolled through the forest, heading to where Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo were going to camp for the day. He may have not been invited, quite on the contrary, he stalked them out of boredom, and wanted to make the camp a lot more fun.
You know it's true!
Need I remind you that the last time we did this, we got out of a Shed wearing a hockey mask, swinging a chainsaw around, and yelled "I'm the real Delirious" on repeat?
"Hey, it made everyone reading laugh their ass off! Specially if they do follow H20Delirious on YouTube.Com" Deadpool spoke, with the last words turning into the original announcer. His path was blocked as the familiar, Terminator-Esque electric ball appeared with Cable breaking out.
"Wade! The future is in danger again!" He announced.
"Ooh! More Time traveling business!"
"This land's future is going to be in shambles unless we aid the legends of this land. I've studied some of this land's history, found some interesting things about it, and-"
"BORING!!!! Let's get back to the past and beat this timeline that sucks ass!"
"... Right..." Cable lifted Deadpool's body with his left arm before they were warped away to a different timeline.
The two were teleported right onto the outskirts of a village that felt very Scandinavian, with most of it being related to Dreamworks' How to Train Your Dragon.
"Ooh! Will we see a Night Fury?" Deadpool asked, looking around excitedly.
"No." Cable replied, pulling Deadpool down into the bush they were hiding in. "We need to help the stallion here named Rock Hoof in digging a path to lead the lava away to-" He turned and stopped as he saw Deadpool was gone. "DAMMIT WADE!!!"
"Skee-Den Heevan Haven!" Deadpool spoke in a very weak Scandinavian accent while dressed up as a viking. "I wonder if Thor is around here? I bet I can use Mjolnir to make myself a god among these-" The floor shook violently. He turned to see the volcano nearby had just erupted and lava began to make it's way down hill.
Uh oh! We gotta make that Lava go away!
We don't know magic!
Dig a trench, you idiot!
Deadpool picked up two shovels and swung them around like a Quarterstaff.
"Let's get to digging, boys!" He announced before running to the volcano.
Rock Hoof, the scrawny stallion with a bit of a macho beard, began to dig a small trench. Just as he was going to make another dig, Deadpool teleported right in front of him.
"Sorry kid, adult's work!" Deadpool hit the floor with one of his shovels, but hit a magical, blue glowing rock. The aura surrounded Deadpool, making him both taller and buffer. "... WHOO!!! MAGIC STEROIDS!!!" He began to dig the trench away, leading the lava to the ocean at break-neck speed. The lava safely poured into the ocean, making huge steam clouds, and most likely making a small island. The crowd cheered for Deadpool, their savior.
"And that's how Deadpool saved the village from the lava, and-" Applejack spoke, but froze. "... Wait a minute... how the hay did Deadpool get into the legend of Rock Hoof!?"
"Who's Rock Hoof?" Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo asked.
"I... uh... Oh, I don't know what's goin' on! Ah must be tired."
"I'm sure that's all that's happening." Rarity ensured. "Or the bites from the Fly-ers. You should rest while I tell the legend of Mistmane."
Cable dragged Deadpool in what looked like a ponified version of Ancient China.
"What!?" Deadpool asked. "I did what you asked! I saved the village from that lava!"
"We were supposed to be DISCREET about it!" Cable growled. "Hopefully, this one won't be altered by your idiocy, Wade. Hopefully, Mistmane won't be overshadowed by you when we help her battle against Sable Spirit. You got that?" Silence. "WADE!?" He turned around, only to see a large Deadpool doll being dragged. "WHAT THE F-!?"
Deadpool stood on a podium in front of many of the villagers, wearing a familiar hat.
"We will build a wall and make the Mongolians pay for it!" The crowd cheered, each wearing his red hat. "Now, if you excuse me, I need to take down your empress." Deadpool ripped off his clothes and looked like Hanzo from Overwatch, right before running into the palace and using the rooftops as parkour areas, avoiding the guards below. He slid into the throne room and knocked the beautiful Qilin out of the way and aimed an arrow at the old looking one with a bow. "Ryuu ga waga teki wo kurau!!!" Rather than a Chinese looking dragon, it fired out the spirit of the legendary dragon himself, Trogdor. It made Sable Spirit scream in pain before turning back to her younger self.
"W-What the-!?" She shouted, right before Deadpool put on a fursuit of Amaterasu.
"And I go!" Deadpool turned and ran away with flowers falling out of his butt, leaving both Qilin to stare in pure confusion.
"And Deadpool, having restored Sable Spirit's beauty, turned, and-" Rarity spoke then paused herself. "...Wait a minute... I don't remember Deadpool being in that legend."
"Seems you both miss being with that weirdo." Dash spoke with a smug. "Well, I have a story that I know Deadpool isn't going to be in. The legend of Flash Magnus!"
Cable stared down at Deadpool, tapping his foot rather impatiently. Deadpool just stared back, blinking every now & then.
"... As I was saying, Wade." Cable began. "We-" He blinked and Deadpool was gone. "... Ah f**k it."
"Is this... Netitus, the fireproof shield?!" Flash Magnus asked in shock.
"It has protected Legion heroes for generations." Commander Iron Head replied. "And today, I can't think of a worthier flank for Netitus to-." Deadpool ran by, taking the shield, and sprinted into the cave.
"WAAAAADE WILSON!!!" Deadpool yelled as he ran into the cave.
"And Deadpool defeated the two dragons in their own cave, rescued the group's comrades, and-" Rainbow Spoke before pausing like the others. "Hey! How'd Deadpool... get in here?" The three mares began to shiver.
"Was Deadpool in these legends and we didn't even know it!?" Rarity asked.
"Ah don't know, and I don't wanna ask!" Applejack replied.
"Let's get outta here!" Rainbow flew ahead, leading the group out of the cave.
Torch laid down on his treasure horde, boringly awaiting for something to happen. Until an epiphany came to mind.
"I fought against that human before!" He said aloud. "... He must've gone soft."
Deadpool hung up Netitus on his wall, waxing it and making it shine.
"I'll use you in my finale." He said to himself. "Or, more than likely, we're going to forget about you, like many of the other subplots that happened in this fic."
