//------------------------------// // Spoon B4it: The Forks Awakens // Story: Written Off // by Sharp Spark //------------------------------// Gilded Spoon had arrived just slightly too late again. The bank robbers were already tied up. The hostages had been released. Even the press was there, ready to take pictures of the newest and hottest hero in Got-Them City. Not Gilded Spoon, of course. Nope, it was her nemesis: The Incredible Spork. Perhaps 'nemesis' was meant to be for that one supervillain that you fought and foiled and occasionally strapped you into a deathtrap for a narrow escape over a pit of lava or toxic slime. But even Forks MacKenzie had stopped sending her taunting letters about his next heist targets. She was sure that The Incredible Spork was getting those too and it just wasn't fair. Frustrated, Gilded Spoon slunk back to her secret base, the Spoon Cave, where she could sulk in peace. Thankfully, her mechanical butler knew exactly what she needed. "Thank you," she said, grabbing the enchanted comics that he had brought her. "You're welcome, Wesley," he said, and scuttled off to recharge. She settled into a comfy chair and opened issue #47 of The Adventures of the Popular Pair. Maybe this at least could take her mind off her problems. Gilded Spoon tossed her braid back, and checked her saddlebag to make sure she had all of her books. She trotted off towards school, and along the way ran into Diamond Tiara, her bestest friend forever. "There you are, Silver Spoon!" DT said. "Gosh, you were being so slow I thought you were Scootaloo." They both broke out into giggles. "But we have a serious problem," Diamond said suddenly, stopping short. "We called them all the names we could yesterday and they didn't even mind! (SEE ISSUE 46: PRACTICE PANIC IN PONYVILLE) At this rate, they're going to win the contest and get to do the routine for the Equestria Games. We can't let that happen! We're going to have to take this to another level." Gilded frowned. "But we already called them blank flanks! What's worse than that?" "Divide and conquer, silly." DT grinned maliciously. "I'll focus on Scootaloo and give it my very meanest. You try and catch Sweetie Belle alone, and get on her good side." "I don't understand." "See, sometimes you need people to trust you before you can betray them! That's how you destroy someone utterly, or at least that's what my daddy always says." Gilded Spoon gasped. It made so much sense. If she could look like she was helping the Crusaders, but then wait until just the right moment to laugh in their faces, it'd hurt so much more! Plus the teacher wouldn't get mad at her, she'd get mad at Diamond Tiara for being more transparently mean from the very beginning, and her daddy could always just buy the school a new jungle gym or something regardless. "You're so smart!" Gilded Spoon gushed. DT preened under the attention. "Now come on! It's time to put our plan into operation." A few hours and some cathartic Crusader-taunting later, Gilded Spoon found herself back in her comfy chair, ideas spinning in her brain. She trotted over to the Spoonternet, typing in some commands. It wouldn't be that hard to find a way to contact Forks MacKenzie. He certainly would be surprised to hear from her. But then, when he heard her plan… It was an offer he couldn't refuse. Together, they could construct a trap for The Incredible Spork that would take him out of the picture. Permanently. Gilded Spoon was just glad that comic books were such helpful pedagogical tools for teaching important life lessons! TO BE CONTINUED...