//------------------------------// // How Do Ponies Use a Computer? Just Use Your Imagination, Please // Story: Written Off // by Sharp Spark //------------------------------// "I just don't get it," Applejack said. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes so hard that she thought for a second she had sprained them. "It's a computer. A magical metal box that lets you talk to people on… gasp. The Internet." "Not that, featherbrain." Applejack turned her laptop around to the website she was on. "This Kickstarter thing." "It's a place for—" "Again, shut it. I ain't dumb." "Well, you're asking dumb questions." Applejack sighed. "I mean I set this whole Kickstarter thing up and no one's giving me any money. What's the deal?" "Let me see," Rainbow Dash scoffed. "You gotta know what you're doing. You need… oh. Huh." The page for Buy Sweet Apple Acres a New Barn! actually looked pretty professionally done. Rainbow Dash tapped on the video at the top, only to see Applejack, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom all standing out in the orchard. "Well howdy folks!" a tinny voice played from the computer speakers, and Applejack reached over to click it closed, glaring at Rainbow Dash. "That's embarrassing," she muttered. Rainbow raised an eyebrow and scrolled down. "Maybe it's the pledge rewards? Let's see, you have… an apple tier. A bushel of apples tier. Good but not great. Oh, wait. Apple kombucha? Zap apple jam?? A whole barrel of Sweet Apple Acres Cider, special reserve???" "Don't drool on the keyboard," Applejack said smugly. "This is awesome! Man, I wish I could pledge." Applejack glanced at her sharply. "Well, why can't you?" "Uhhh." Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head. "I, uh, just don't have the money right now." "Oh yeah?" Applejack's eyes narrowed. "You were spending plenty at Sugarcube Corner last weekend. Where exactly did it all go?" "I might have, uh. Maybe. Possibly." Rainbow Dash coughed, muttering something under her breath. "What was that?" "I spent it all on another Kickstarter," she said, marginally louder. "Last night. How was I supposed to know you had your own?" Applejack sighed. "Alright. Show me which. Maybe that'll give me some ideas." Rainbow Dash wordlessly clicked over a few times, then passed the laptop back to Applejack. "Flim and Flam's Fabulous Fidget Flanges," Applejack slowly read. "You've gotta be kidding, right?" Rainbow Dash stuck out her tongue. "They're cool, okay? This is what all the kids are into these days! Don't judge!" Applejack rubbed her chin with one hoof. "Hm. That does give me an idea. A really, really great idea." Three months later… "This was a terrible idea," Applejack said, frowning as their brand new barn slowly rotated in a circle. "Eeyup," Big Mac agreed. Apple Bloom tried to push a cart of apples in and it got stuck in the door, the momentum speeding up the rotation and causing her to scream as she hung onto the cart for dear life. "Well I don't know about you two, but I'm totally satisfied and not regretting this at all," Rainbow Dash said, "I— ugh. Hmph. Ack. How do I—" She clamped the little plastic thing between both hooves, trying not to drop it. "Do I spin it with my tongue?"