PonyConned

by Green Akers


Introduction

"Aha! Here it is!" Twilight Sparkle used her magic to levitate a dusty, purple tome from a bookshelf. "'Jewels, Gems, and Other Sparkly Rocks.' Just what I was looking for!"

Twilight turned and made her way back to the main room of her library with the book. She had planned to spend the day digging deeper into her magical studies, but she enjoyed the feeling of satisfying an inquisitive mind—even if it wasn't her own—and didn't mind the distraction.

Today's request, however, came from an unusual source: her friend Rarity, who never checked anything out of the library save for the occasional book on historical fashion.

"Here's the book you wanted!" Twilight said to Rarity as she entered the library foyer. "I knew I had a copy somewhere."

"And I am most grateful that you do," Rarity said. "I'm expecting a shipment of exotic gemstones quite soon, and I'd like an idea of what's coming so I can plan my upcoming summer collection."

"That sounds interesting," Twilight said. "Now then, let's get you checked out—"

Suddenly, the sound of a pony shouting could be heard outside the library, and an orange mare burst into the room. "Twilight! Rarity!" the pony sputtered. "Have either of y'all seen the mayor around? We got trouble out at the farm!"

"What is it, Applejack?" Twilight asked. "Are the parasprites back? Did the barn fall in again? Are the Cutie Mark Crusaders trying to get their cutie marks in tightrope walking?"

"It's worse!" Applejack said. "We've been robbed!"

"Robbed?" Rarity's mouth fell open at the revelation. "Why, that's awful! Who on earth would commit such a horrid act?"

"I don't know," Applejack said, "but when I went to get some cider out of our apple cellar, I found the door wide open! Some low-down, no-good, mulch-munchin' varmint smashed up a bunch of our cider barrels and cleaned out the safe we had down there!" Applejack's eyes began to water as she recalled the scene. "To think," she added, "we put that safe down there thinkin' nopony would ever bother it..."

"What was in the safe?" Twilight asked. "How much did the thieves take?"

"I don't rightly know, exactly," Applejack said, "but I'd bet we had at least a thousand bits in there." She stomped her hoof in frustration. "I didn't know what else to do, so I was tryin' to find the Mayor so I could report the crime."

Twilight glanced up at a clock hanging on the wall, which read ten minutes past three o'clock. "The mayor usually goes for a walk in the park right about now," she noted. "If you hurry, you might catch her before she leaves her office."

"Oh, applesauce!" Applejack smacked her face with her hoof. "I forgot about the park." She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. "I guess I'd better mosey on over there, pronto. Thanks for the help, Twilight."

Rarity grimaced as Applejack turned and headed for the front door. "This is outrageous!" she said. "Have those ruffians no shame? Preying on a wholesome, hard-working family like the Apples? What nerve!"

"Ponies can stoop pretty low sometimes," Twilight agreed. "They'll say or do just about anything to make money. In fact, I got a letter from Shining Armor the other day that said a bunch of scam artists had recently stolen several thousand bits from ponies in Canterlot."

"Disgusting," Rarity spat. "I trust Celestia has a special place in the Canterlot dungeon reserved for such boors."

Twilight opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the sound of her front door being flung open and a drum roll of hooves heading in her direction. Within seconds, she and Rarity found themselves face-to-face with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, each sporting the biggest grin they could muster. "TWILIGHT!" the fillies shouted in unison. "GUESS WHAT?"

Twilight again tried to reply, but Rarity beat her to the punch. "Sweetie Belle!" Rarity scolded her sister. "A lady does not barge into somepony's home like a bull and use their outdoor voice to address the occupant!"

"I'm sorry, sis," Sweetie Belle replied, "but I'm just so excited!"

"We can't help it!" Apple Bloom added. "We're rich!"

"Or at least Apple Bloom is!" Scootaloo pointed a hoof at Apple Bloom as she spoke.

"Well, technically Applejack is rich," Apple Bloom corrected herself, "but I'd bet she'd be glad to share!"

"Applejack, rich?" Rarity exchanged a confused look with Twilight. "I don't understand, darling."

"Me neither," Twilight admitted. "Applejack was just here a minute ago, and she—"

"Oh, she doesn't know yet!" Scootaloo explained. "She wasn't home when we got the news."

"And that news was..." Twilight began, hoping to tease out some more information.

"Applejack won the Grand Canterlot Clearinghouse Sweepstakes!" Apple Bloom said. "I didn't even know she'd entered any sweepstakes, but she must have, 'cause she won one million bits!"

"Think of all the things you could do with one million bits!" Scootaloo dreamed. "You could retire to a beachside mansion!"

"You could hire ponies to harvest all your apples for you, and make 'em carry Granny Smith wherever she goes!" Apple Bloom gushed.

"You could travel the world, and see all the sights!" Sweetie Belle squealed.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER WEALTHY JETSETTERS! YAY!" the three fillies sang as they exchanged a high-hoof.

"A sweepstakes, huh?" Twilight scratched her chin with her hoof, certain that she smelled a rat somewhere. "If you could," she asked the fillies, "could you tell me exactly how you found out about this sweepstakes?"

"Sure thing!" Apple Bloom said. "We were in the barn working on our latest plan to get our cutie marks..."