Robotic Stallion Big Lugnut

by Hooves Like Jagger


Epilogue: Exhaust

Robotic Stallion Big Lugnut
Author: HoovesLikeJagger
Epilogue

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“Whaddya think Macintosh? Big harvest this year?”

“Eeyup.”

“Do you think we’ll bring it all in this time?”

“Nope.” Macintosh shook his head, looking over the vast acreage of apple trees with his brother-in-law. Lugnut grunted, unsatisfied of the prospect of letting some of the fruit go past its prime while it was still in the branches. Big Lugnut kept saying that this would be the year they bring it all in, but Big Macintosh kept saying that’s what Lugnut said last year.

“I think we can get it all,” Lugnut asserted.

“I think we’ll get enough.”

“No, no, no! Trust me, this time-“

“We’ll get enough.” Big Macintosh wouldn’t budge on the issue. Lugnut grunted again.

“We always get enough,” he mumbled.

“Lugnut? Lugnut!” The two stallions turned to see Applejack coming up the hill towards them. Lugnut ran to greet his wife while Macintosh followed along at a leisurely pace.

“Well, how’re the three of you doing?” Lugnut leaned down and gave his wife a nuzzle, and then turned his attention to the colt fastened to her chest. The yellow and steel-maned colt giggled and looked up at his father.

“I’ve been good, Tinker’s been good, an’ the littlest one’s been good … but guess who hasn’t been good.” Lugnut stole a look at Applejack’s ever swelling stomach, before meeting her stern gaze. He had a pretty good guess as to what was on her mind.

“Pippin?”

“Have you seen that filly anywhere? Me an’ Rarity ‘ave been lookin’ around, but she plum disappeared… as usual. Rainbow Dash and Twilight are already here, so please tell me you’ve seen her.”

“I can’t say I have. You didn’t happen to spot her, did you Big Mac?” Big Macintosh shook his head.

“What about Apple Barrel? Is he ‘round?” Macintosh asked. Applejack shook her own head. “I’ll go ask Fluttershy where he went. I reckon he might know where Pippin is.” Big Macintosh began lumbering towards the farmhouse, but his lack of urgency bugged Applejack.

“She can’t be far. I’ll go look around the north orchard,” Lugnut assured Applejack. “I’ll bring her back.”

“You’d better!” Applejack heaved a sigh. “Not much of a birthday party if nopony at the party is havin’ a birthday.”

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Planet Diver couldn’t stand waiting around that old farmhouse, especially while nothing was going on. His older sister told him to stay put, but the young pegasus wasn’t one for staying put. Especially on a rare trip outside of Cloudsdale, he wasn’t about to waste the day staying inside. He didn’t care if it was his sister’s friend’s daughter’s birthday. He looked forward to coming to Ponyville for one reason and one reason only: flying with Wonderbolt Rainbow Dash.

If he couldn’t fly with his sister, he may as well go off and fly by himself, and he had seen the perfect place for a quick flight right outside the farmhouse window. Being from Cloudsdale, he’d never seen so many apple trees in one place. As he clumsily weaved in and out the trees in the orchard, he felt a completely different rush from flying through clouds. Clouds were soft and safe, but trees were solid and unforgiving if he made a mistake. To prove this point, Planet Diver scraped his wing as he rounded another tree too soon.

He made a clumsy landing and examined the wing, flapping it once or twice to see if it hurt. He sighed in relief, glad to see there was no damage. He needed to be flight capable to find his way back. He decided to take a short break, leaning up against the tree that caused him to land in the first place. His peaceful rest was suddenly interrupted when he heard a shrill voice come through the trees.

“Consarn it Apple Barrel! Y’all went an’ jep-per-ah-diesed the mission!” the voice squeaked. Planet Diver perked up. It sounded like a filly, and she sounded close. Mostly out of lack for anything more interesting to do, Planet Diver decided to follow the sound of her charmingly rustic voice.

“Ah ‘pecifically told y’all not tuh tell nopony nothin’! If Auntie Fluttershy knows whar we are, soon Uncle Macintosh will know, an’ then Pa will know, an’ then Ma will know, an’ then she’ll whip me!”

“Ah’m sorry cousin, but I cain’t lie to Momma.”

“Ya’ll don’t halfta lie! Jus’ git goin’ afore she asks y’all! We’re gonna halfta move quick-like if’n we’re gonna sal-vayge the mission!” Planet Diver stuck his head into the clearing where the voices were coming from. There were three young ponies in the clearing. The first was a large, rotund, pinkish earth pony colt with his orange mane covering his eyes. The second was an aqua unicorn filly with a carefully styled silver mane adorned with a red bow. The third, who was pacing about the clearing frantically, was a freckled, grass green filly sporting an unkempt green-yellow mane.

“Consarn it!” the freckled filly continued to yell. Planet Diver took another step closer to the clearing, but an errant twig snapped under his hoof. Everypony in the clearing turned and saw him. “Who goes thar? Come quiet-like an’ you won’t be ‘armed!” Planet Diver consented and stepped into the clearing.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he apologized.

“Interloper!” the filly shouted. Planet Diver couldn’t help but be slightly impressed by, what seemed to him, her extensive vocabulary. “Who do y’all werk fer?”

“I don’t work for anypony! I’m only a kid,” Planet Diver tried to explain. “I just found you all by accident.” The filly glared at him for a moment.

“What’s yer name?”

“Planet Diver Dash.”

“Ah’m Pippin Apple! This here’s mah cousin Apple Barrel an’ mah best friend Swansong! We’re on a secret mission an account of mah birfday! Kin y’all keep a secret?”

“I guess I can.” Planet Diver shrugged.

“Then listen close pard’ner!” Pippin tugged Planet Diver into a huddle with Apple Barrel and Swansong. “Now my Ma said she weren’t gonna whip me on account of it bein’ mah birfday ‘n all, but if’n she finds me after I ran away so sudden-like I reckon she’ll whip me somethin’ fierce!”

“So what’s the mission?” Planet Diver asked. Pippin glared at him again.

“Ah’m gittin’ to it! Ya see, mah Auntie Applebloom said she was gonna give me a gift an’ said it was somewhars in the orchard. I reckon if’n it’s somefin she hid in the orchard, it’s somefin big. Ah wanna find out what it is, so we’re scourin’ the orchard tah find it!”

“Can’t you just wait?” Diver dared to ask.

“Fortune waits for nopony!” Pippin declared before bounding off deeper into the orchard. Planet Diver turned to Apple Barrel and Swansong.

“Is she always like this?”

“Yessir, she’s tirin’,” Apple Barrel admitted. Swansong smiled and began to trot after her friend.

“She’s lively. I find it refreshing.” Swansong disappeared into the orchard after Pippin. “Let’s go Apple Barrel!” Apple Barrel lumbered off as he was told, with Planet Diver trotting along reluctantly.

“So, your name is Apple Barrel?” Diver asked the large colt. Apple Barrel nodded, confirming his identity. “Why are you hanging out with fillies?” Planet Diver was still at an age where fillies had cooties and associating with ones that were your own age was a death wish.

“Cousin Pippin is always makin’ me come along with her like this, an’ her friend is always taggin’ after me too,” Apple Barrel explained. Planet Diver saw what was going on now. Apple Barrel was a victim. He’d seen colts at his own school who also had fillies tagging around them all the time.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got your back,” Diver assured him. “My brother is here too, and none of the fillies at school will go near him.”

“Hurry up ya slow-pokes! I reckon my Ma already has a posse tryin’ to round me up!” Pippin squeaked, striking a sensitive chord with Planet Diver.

“Hey! I’m not a slow-poke! I’m the fastest flier in my class!” Diver defended himself.

“Some talk! Ah kin outrun anypony,” Pippin claimed. Planet Diver scowled. He didn’t like his supremacy being challenged, especially by an earth pony filly. There was only one way to settle the dispute.

“Race me and prove it,” Diver issued his challenge. Much to his chagrin, Pippin responded by rolling her eyes.

“If it gits you tah move faster.” Diver gawked at how confident this filly was. The she called Swangsong over and made her the race official. The racers stood between two of the large apple trees and got on their marks. Apple Barrel stood behind the line as Swansong stood before Pippin and Planet Diver. Swansong’s horn lit up a rich, violet hue.

“Ready…” The racers hunkered down, ready to explode across the starting line. “Go!” Swansong’s horn emitted a little flash and a small pop, and the two ponies were off. Being children, they were not that fast by normal standards, but in their minds they were in danger of bursting into flames.

Planet Diver was not happy. He was straining his wings to flap as fast as they could, but Pippin ran along the ground right below him. As the pair weaved through the trees, they remained neck and neck. There was no set destination, but with the way things were progressing the winner would be made clear once one of the ponies started petering out. Neither one gave the other any sign that he or she was about to quit.

“Yikes!” A squeal from Pippin cut the race short. Planet Diver, who thought he should have darted ahead and claimed victory, stopped. He landed and looked around for Pippin. She was laying under an apple tree, her left hind hoof caught under a gnarled root.

“Are you okay?” Diver trotted over to where the filly lay. The filly wore a shocked expression without a trace of pain.

“Ah reckon ah’m fine.” Pippin attempted to pull herself free, but to no avail. “Well don’t that beat all? Ah’m stuck,” Pippin stated, the very picture of being calm and collected. “Y’all should go git help er somethin’,” she suggested.

“We don’t need help. I’ll get you out.” Planet Diver circled around and stood behind Pippin. He prodded at the stuck hoof experimentally. It was stuck pretty good, but Planet Diver had experience in this area. His triplet brother, Sunny, got his head stuck in the banister more than once. He’d gotten the technique for fitting his brother’s head through a small space down, so getting a filly’s little hoof out of a tight spot was a piece of cake.

“This might hurt a bit,” he warned.

“I don’t care, long as you ain’t plannin’ on cuttin’ mah leg off.” Planet Diver went ahead with his technique. He pushed down on her caught hoof with one of his own. Seeing as this filly claimed to be tough as nails, he pushed down with as much force as he tends to use when he’s trying to hurt Sunny while squeezing his head to free him. Diver took his free hoof and used it to push down and out on the back of Pippin’s hoof. The hoof began sliding free and popped out after a few moments of pushing. Pippin was up on all fours the moment she was free. She plodded around in circles and then shook the previously incarcerated hoof.

“Wouldya lookit that? Ah’m a free pony a’gin! Thanks a bunch, Planet Diver Dash,” Pippin cheered as she bounced right up to Planet Diver, causing him to take a cautious step back as she locked her vibrant eyes onto his.

“Uh, no problem,” Planet Diver mumbled. Pippin continued to smile up at him, despite Planet Diver’s earnest attempts to break eye contact. Somewhere in her ungroomed head, wheels were turning.

“I reckon I oughta reward you or somethin’. Y’all did save my life.”

“I don’t think it was that big of a deal,” Planet Diver protested. Pippin scrunched her little face up, showing that she wasn’t going to have any of that.

“I don’t ‘ave a bit to mah name, but ah know a way I kin show mah ‘preciation. Hold still!” Pippin commanded. Before Planet Diver could ask what he was holding still for, Pippin leaned forward and kissed him on the nose. Planet Diver instinctively jumped back, away from the filly. He quickly sat down and began a frantic attempt to remove the gift from his face.

“Ewewewewewewewewewew!” Planet Diver rubbed his nose furiously, but the fact that the filly had kissed him remained. Apple Barrel and Swansong arrived where the two had ended the race right in the middle of the scene. They took it all in for a moment before asking questions.

“What’s wrong with him?” Swansong asked Pippin.

“Well, let me tell ya!” Swansong and Apple Barrel got ready for a long winded story. “Me an’ Planet Diver Dash over thar were racin’ through the orchard like two mad ponies. Ah was runnin’ and he was flyin’ and ah thought that our race was gon’ go on fer’ever! But then all uva sudden, this big ‘ol nasty root jumped out an’ grabbed me ‘round mah leg ‘ere! Ah was stuck in thar pretty good, but Planet Diver Dash grabbed it ‘n pulled it out like it weren’t nothin’! Since I reckoned he done near saved my life, ah decided to give him a reward. Now ah’m just a simple pony and ah ain’t got no money ‘n whatnot, but ah remembered mah Ma rewards Pa by kissin’ him sometimes. Mah Pa says it’s his second most favorite reward to git from Ma, but I don’ know what the first most favorite is cause when he tried to tell me Ma socked ‘im in the gut somethin’ fierce. So I gave Planet Diver Dash a kiss right on his nose, an’ now he’s havin’ a cun-nip-shun.” Pippin took a deep breath. “An’ that’s what happened,” she concluded. Swansong furrowed her brow and puffed up her cheeks as she stomped up to Pippin.

“Pippin! You can’t just go kissing colts on the nose!” she reprimanded her friend. “Mother says it isn’t lady-like!” Swansong’s concerns were lost on Pippin, who turned up a brow and frowned.

“But ah ain’t no lady, an’ besides, ah only went an’ did it right just now cause Planet Diver Dash saved mah life an’ all.” Pippin beamed widely. “If’n ya say it ain’t lady-like though, I won’t go makin’ a habit of it. Ah don’t think Planet Diver Dash ‘preciated it anyways.” The three ponies who weren’t panicking turned their attention to the one who was.

“Poor fella,” Apple Barrel sighed.

“Pippin? Piiippiiiiin?”

“Well whaddya know? It’s Pa!” Pippin forgot all about her friends and scampered off in the direction of Lugnut’s voice. “Pa! Paaaaa!”

“Pippin!” Lugnut exclaimed as the filly wrapped her forelegs around his tree trunk of a hoof. “I’ve been looking all over for you, where have you been?”

“Ah’ve been ‘round,” Pippin explained, releasing her father so she could bounce up and down in front of him. The other children emerged from the orchard as well.

“Hey there Apple Barrel, Swansong… and… uh, you are?” Lugnut bent down to look at the pegasus colt he thought he recognized.

“My name is Planet Diver Dash, sir,” Diver responded. Lugnut leaned back up as his expression brightened.

“You don’t say?” The name reminded Lugnut of a time long past. He’d been there when the colt was born, only minutes before Lugnut shed his iron shell. He hadn’t seen the pegasus since, but seeing Planet Diver so grown up made him realize how much time had passed. “C’mon everypony, we’ve got to get back to the farmhouse. Somepony is having a birthday.”

“Ah’m supposin’ you mean me?” Pippin asked. Lugnut laughed and messed up her mane even further with one of his hooves, eliciting a squeal and some giggles from the little pony.

“Let’s get back,” Lugnut chuckled, starting off towards the farmhouse with four young ponies in tow. Pippin took the pole position, trotting along briskly in front of Big Lugnut.

Lugnut didn’t know who to thank for his incredible luck. He had Applejack and her family to thank for taking him in when he was a complete stranger. He had Flim and Flam to thank for bringing him to Ponyville in the first place. He had Daring Do’s excavation team to thank for digging him up. He had the pony who built him in the first place to thank.

He owed something to everypony he’d ever met, whether they’d righted him or wronged him. If even one small detail had been different, it’s possible he would’ve never had the chance to lead the life he was living right now. He could have stayed in a dark hole, Applejack could have never returned to Ponyville, and his children could have never existed. He was grateful all their fates hadn’t been worse and he didn’t care if there was even a happier ending to have. Things were exactly as they should be.

He hadn’t realized it, but he’d been staring down at Pippin the entire time he was reminiscing. Pippin had noticed and turned to look up at him with wide-eyed curiosity. He smiled warmly down at his daughter, but she only returned a quizzical look.

“Need somethin’ pard’ner?”