//------------------------------// // Friday Night Ascension III // Story: Equestria Wrestling Federation // by chillbook1 //------------------------------// Pinkie Pie was almost never seen without her patented, million dollar smile. She carried herself with a bubbly demeanor that one wouldn’t ordinarily expect from someone whose job required her to be punched in the face on a weekly basis. Somehow, despite the bruises and the beatings, The Outrageous One always seemed to have a smile and a bright, cheery demeanor. Pinkie had none of this as she knocked on the door to the General Manager’s office. “Come in.” Pinkie pushed open the door and stepped into Twilight’s office, taking a seat across from her desk. “Hello, Pinkie.” Twilight looked as if she hadn’t slept in days. “What can I do for you?” “First of all, I just wanted to apologize. I let you down,” sighed Pinkie. “I should’ve put her away super easy, but I didn’t take it as seriously as I should have, and I ruined the opportunity you gave me, and now Trixie’s still—” “Let me stop you right there, Pinkie,” said Twilight. “You didn’t ruin anything. There’s no way you could’ve known about Torch and Glimmer. Furthermore, I commend you for giving Trixie a fair chance to get ready and face you on an even playing field.” “But Trixie’s going to keep the championship forever now!” “Actually, I’m working on a solution right now. I’ll have to make some calls, send some letters, but… Well, I’ll save that for when all the pieces are in place. Currently, I’ve got a pay-per-view to get in order.” Twilight straightened a stack of papers on her desk and grabbed up her pen. “Hard to believe that DisHarmony is this Sunday already. In any case, is there anything you actually needed? Because, if not, I’ve got to get back to work.” “Actually, yes. There is something I need. I want Starlight.” “Sorry, Pinkie. You’re back of the line as far as title shots go right now. I can pencil you in to face off with Applebloom to move up in the rankings, but…” “Not for the title. I want payback for these last few weeks. Give me Ember, too,” said Pinkie, her fists clenched in a rare display of anger. “Those two have been rustling my jimmies and I want to give them what they deserve.” “I can’t give you them both. It wouldn’t be fair to you, and you could get hurt.” Twilight hummed in thought. “However… If you were to get yourself a tag team partner…” Pinkie broke her nasty streak with a determined, confident smirk. She stood up and turned for the door. “Consider it done.” “Welcome all, to Friday Night Ascension!” said Discord. “The least terrible part of your Friday nights! I’m Discord Redrum, joined, as always, by my broadcasting partner, Celestia Regal!” “We’ve got a wonderful night for you, ladies and gentlemen,” said Celestia. “Starting first with a message from the Intercontinental Champion!” There’s a Nightmare inside! Luna Regal leapt onto the scene to the thunderous applause of the arena. The Intercontinental champion made her way down the ramp, then rolled into the ring. She clutched her championship like a child, accepting the microphone from the announcer. “Greetings, ladies and gentlemen!” said Luna. “I believe it is about time I’ve addressed you all. A few weeks ago, I won my first ever Intercontinental Championship, by making Rarity Valentine tap out clean in the middle of the ring!” The crowd erupted into another bout of cheers, which made Luna grin widely. “But, I could not have done it alone. So, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that we won. We are the Intercontinental Champions! And We dropped Rarity Valentine a second time, putting her into an endless sleep with the Eternal Night! “And, now that Valentine is out of Our way… We require tougher competition. We desire a challenger! So, We have a proposition for anyone in the locker room. Meet here, right now, and, if you can somehow conquer The Nightmare, you will earn yourself a title opportunity in two days, at the DisHarmony pay-per-view. Consider this a #1 Contender’s Open Challenge!” Luna beckoned for her opponent, her eyes filled with a ravenous hunger. The entire arena waited with bated breath, anticipating an impromptu match involving one of the greatest wrestlers to hold the IC title. A harmonic, operatic humming floated throughout the arena, sending chills down spines. The harmony shifted into hard-hitting electric guitar, and crashing drums that rattled the bones of all in the arena. There's no holding me back... I'm not driven by fear, I'm just driven by anger... The crowd descended into boos as the challenger made her presence known. Aria Blaze strolled into view, her Tag Team championship sitting on her shoulder. She clutched a microphone as she approached the ring, wearing a scowl and carrying with her an air of determination. “I can see you looking lost there, champ, so let me break down what’s gonna happen,” said Aria. “I’m gonna walk down this ramp, slide into that ring, and set my tag team championship down. Then, I’m going to kick your ass all up and down this arena.” The crowd roared with disapproval, which annoyed Aria to no end. “Then, I’m gonna straightjacket suplex you through the goddamn mat. Then, I’m going to cover you. Then, the ref is gonna count to three. Then, in our next match, I’m going to put your leg into an ankle lock. Then, you’re gonna tap out. Then, I’m gonna take that Intercontinental Championship, strap it around my waist, and walk out of the arena as the first ever EWF double-champion!” Luna chuckled, pacing around the ring with a devious grin. She laid her belt down onto the mat, beckoning for Aria to enter her domain. “You run your mouth, Blaze. You talk and talk and talk,” laughed Luna. “But that’s all you can do. You hide behind your team, because you don’t have the talent to do it on your own. You need a team behind you, because you’re just not good enough! You’re a mouse in a land of lions!” Luna dropped to one knee, patting her title with a grin. “But, I did say anyone backstage, so… Bring it, Blaze. If you think you can step into the ring with me and emerge with your body intact, I invite you to try!” Luna leapt forward and landed on the middle rope, swiping wildly at Aria with a mad, crazed look in her eyes. Aria rose to the challenge, sliding into the ring and standing toe-to-toe with the Intercontinental Champion. The referee took their championship belts and handed it to the timekeeper, then, after keeping the two combatants apart to ensure the match could begin fairly, called for the bell. Immediately, Aria wrapped her arms around Luna’s middle and hoisted her up, flinging her backward over her head. They both hit the ground at the same time, with Aria reaching her feet slightly before Luna. Aria grabbed her again, this time hoisting her up and slamming her forward, before dropping onto the IC champion for a quick pin. One! Luna powered out, quickly scurrying to her feet. She wore a grin as she cracked her back, raising her fists up to fight. “Off to a lightning-fast start here,” said Celestia. “Blaze getting a one-count after that pair of belly-to-belly suplexes, one of which was overhead, starting off quite strong in this match.” “Of course she is! Aria Blaze is a wrestling machine!” said Discord. “She’s smart enough to know that you’ve got to keep the pressure on Luna if you want a chance at beating her!” Luna grinned as she approached Aria, her fists raised to her face. Aria rushed in, ducking under Luna’s incoming right hook, and wrapped her arms around Luna’s middle. She hoisted the Intercontinental Champion up, attempting a third belly-to-belly suplex. Luna managed to countered with a firm elbow to the face, then a belly-to-belly of her own once her feet hit the ground. Luna dropped to a full mount, raining down rights and lefts onto her opponent. Aria shoved her off, rolling under the bottom rope and to the ground outside. “Regal with a series of strikes, and Aria, very intelligently, might I add, slipping out for a breather,” said Discord. “Blaze knows better than to enter into a boxing match with Luna Regal, so she’s biding her time, waiting for an opening to slip in and grapple with the champion.” “An area in which Aria would certainly have the advantage,” admitted Celestia. “Luna is a striker above all else, and a technical grappler like Aria would cause her serious problems.” Aria shooed Luna away, waiting until the Intercontinental champion was on the other side of the ring before sliding into the ring. Luna eyed her opponent down, then offered her hand for Aria to shake. Aria slowly neared, but accepted the handshake. She pulled Luna closer, then, to the outrage of just about everyone in the arena, she spat across Luna’s face. “Ooh… That was a mistake,” said Celestia with a wince. “I can’t see this going well for Aria. Luna’s always had a bit of a temper, and that display of blatant disrespect is sure to stoke her flames, so to speak.” Luna wiped the saliva from her face, looking down at her hand as if to ensure that she properly understood what had just transpired. She chuckled to herself, then immediately headbutted Aria as hard as she could, dropping the tag team champion to the ground. As soon as Aria hit the mat, Luna began laying in, stomping mercilessly on her chest, furiously shouting like a caged animal. She backed up, rebounded off of the ropes, and dropped a leg on Aria’s throat. She stood up and repeated the process a second, third, fourth time. She went for a fifth when Aria rolled out of the way, causing Luna to drop down to the mat on her butt. Aria hurried to her feet, ran forward and leapt, catching Luna with a leg lariat that left her flat on her back. Aria was far from finished, however, and she immediately grabbed Luna’s right arm and dropped to the mat. She scissored the arm with her legs and wrenched it, clutching the wrist and hyperextending the limb as much as she could. “And the Siren Submission Specialist changes the complexion of the match in an instant!” said Discord. “She’s got that cross armbreaker in nice and clean, and on the dominant hand! That just goes to show the ring-smarts of Aria Blaze!” “She analyzed Luna’s greatest asset and found a way to neutralize it,” said Celestia. “Luna might be the best striker alive, but, with one arm, her chances against possibly the best grappler alive are a bit on the low side.” Luna began to panic, feeling the pain in her arm blister to an almost unbearable degree. She clawed at Aria’s fingers, desperately trying to break the hold of the so-called Siren Submission Specialist. Aria’s submission was simply too solid, and Luna realized that she wouldn’t be breaking the hold like that. Instead, she used her considerable athleticism and pushed herself up, tilting Aria over in an impromptu roll-up. One! Two! Aria raised her left shoulder from the mat, the grip on her hold loosening. Instead of fighting the losing battle of holding the cross armbreaker, Aria decided to transition to a different hold. She shifted her legs, scissoring Luna’s throat between the shin of her right leg and the calf of the left. “See, this is exactly why I believe Aria Blaze to be one of the greatest professional wrestlers alive!” cheered Discord. “To transition from a cross armbreaker to that modified triangle choke/gogoplata, her Bermuda Triangle hold, all the while keeping your shoulder off of the mat! It’s incredible!” Luna flailed in the hold, reaching wildly for the ropes in a desperate attempt to break the submission. Aria wouldn’t allow it, and she anchored herself down as best she could to prevent Luna from moving even an inch. Just as it seemed the pain would grow too much for the Intercontinental Champion, Luna grabbed Aria by the throat. Using what may have been the last of her strength, she raised Aria up and slammed her down onto her back, breaking the hold. Both competitors lay flat on their back, unable to move. “Dear lord, the impact of that slam!” exclaimed Celestia. “Luna, summoning the last of her strength to just about break Aria Blaze in half!” “But the champ seems down for the count,” noted Discord. “Whoever gets to their feet first will have a distinct advantage. If Aria can just come to, she could very well be on her way to an Intercontinental Title match in two short days!” Unfortunately for Discord, it was Luna who rose to her feet first, stumbling into the ropes for support. She steadied herself, then grabbed a fistful of Aria’s hair, dragging her to her feet. Luna delivered a stiff boot to Aria’s gut, bending the tag champ over at the waist. She reversed herself, and pressed Aria’s head to her own back. She hooked their arms together, twisted, and hoisted the Siren Submission Specialist into the air, suspending her upside-down. “Luna going for the Eternal Night!” called Celestia. “If she hits that move, it’s all over for Aria Blaze!” Aria wiggled free, flipping backwards and landing on her feet. Quicker than Luna could even blink, Aria grabbed Luna’s wrists, crossed her arms near the waist, and threw her back into a picture-perfect suplex. “The straightjacket german suplex!” said Discord, clapping wildly. “That suplex was a work of art! Simply beautiful form!” Aria pushed Luna onto her back, then dropped down for the cover. One! Two! Three! Aria raised her hand triumphantly, jumping to her feet. She wore a very satisfied smirk as she snatched her title from the approaching timekeeper. She fell backward, leaning on the ropes for support as the crowd simply rained boos down onto her. This time, she didn’t let it bother her. She just kept her eyes on the Intercontinental Championship as the timekeeper laid it onto Luna’s forlorn body. “The winner, ARIA BLAZE!” Aria smirked with satisfaction as she stood supreme over The Nightmare, who still hadn’t moved. Aria grabbed the Intercontinental Championship and raised it high above her head, basking in the hate from the thousands of fans in the audience. She looked down at Luna, then, for the second time, spat across her face. Aria dropped the IC title onto the champion then rolled out of the ring, her fist raised high in victory as she returned to the locker room. Aria stepped into the locker room, prepared for the incoming argument. Just as she expected, her two partners were waiting for her, Adagio looking especially angry. Aria chuckled, unable to help herself. “What do you think you're doing, Blaze?” demanded Adagio. “Going after a singles match. The IC champion, no less!” “What I'm doing is kicking ass,” said Aria. She took a seat, then snatched Sonata’s water bottle from her hand and took a swig. “I don't see the big deal.” “We're a team, you dunce! The Dazzlings move together or not at all!” “I had my singles match against Pinkie. It's only fair that Aria gets one,” said Sonata. Aria flicked her partner on the forehead, tossing her the bottle back. “I don't need you to defend me, airhead.” Aria seemed to think for a moment. “But thanks. What's the difference between her match and mine? Besides the fact that I won?” “The difference, you moron, is that Sonata’s match didn’t insert herself into the title picture!” hissed Adagio. She took in a calming breath before continuing. “Look, I ordinarily wouldn't especially care, but these are extenuating circumstances.” Ordinarily, Aria would blow Adagio off and go home, to prepare for her imminent title match. But something about the way that Adagio spoke that stopped Aria in her tracks. Her voice was a different sort of annoyed. As if her grievances had some substance to them. “Extenuating how?” asked Aria slowly. “She wants the Dazzlings,” said Adagio. “Who's ‘she’?” “You know who ‘she’ is. And she says that you can't win the Intercontinental Championship,” explained Adagio. “She says Torch is next in line. But Lulamoon wants The Dazzlings, and I said we're with her.” “Are you out of your mind? I'm not throwing away a shot at the title because you made a deal with some washed up has-been,” snarled Aria. Instead of losing her patience with her partner, Adagio opted for sheer logic and common sense. Even Aria wasn't stubborn enough to ignore the simple facts. “Consider the following. Trixie Lulamoon runs Magic. We anger Trixie, who decides that, maybe, it's been too long since we've defended our tag-team championships.” “We'll win,” said Aria simply. “And what about the next Monday? And the week after? And the week after?” Adagio tapped her forehead, urging Aria to think. “We're good, that's true, but nobody is good enough to retain every Monday for the rest of their careers. So we do as we're told, we wait. Give it time, and she promised that you'll see your chance at the gold. But, for now…” “You want me to lie down for Regal? What are you on?! After what she said to me, I'm tapping that bitch out on Sunday,” snarled Aria. “All I said is that you have to lose,” said Adagio, with a sinister, dastardly grin. “I never said you couldn't win a little, too.” The cold, mechanical electronic beats of Scootaloo’s theme vibed throughout the arena as the scrappy, bat-wielding bruiser made her way to the ring. She kept her eyes peeled for any sneak attacks from her dastardly, devious rival. She slid into the ring, swaying her steel baseball bat idly. “The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Cloudsdale, weighing in at 130 pounds, SCOOTALOO!” Scootaloo clutched her bat as she paced the ring, hoping to finally get her hands on Diamond Tiara. Attacking Sweetie Belle was the absolutely most despicable thing Diamond could’ve done, in Scootaloo’s eyes. Scootaloo and Sweetie weren’t especially close friends, but they had crossed paths quite a few times on the independent circuit. Sweetie was a fighter, one of the speediest and cleverest in her division back in CEW. For that, she had earned Scootaloo’s respect, and it would be a cold day in hell before Scootaloo let that snobby, self-obsessed brat Diamond Tiara hurt her. “And, her opponent, from Ponyville, weighing in at 135 pounds, who would like to be announced as The Hottest Young Star in Wrestling, DIAMOND TIARA!” The arena went silent. Not a single note of Diamond’s entrance theme was heard, nor was the Crown Jewel of the EWF seen. “Er… Diamond Tiara was scheduled to face off with Scootaloo,” said Celestia. “However, Ms. Tiara is nowhere to be found. How curious…” “There’s nothing curious about it! This is clearly the work of Scootaloo!” exclaimed Discord, with an impossible amount of certainty. “She’s kidnapped The Hottest Young Star in Wrestling! Somebody, send for a search party!” “I doubt Scootaloo would resort to kidnapping just to win a match.” Celestia rolled her eyes at her broadcasting partner. “Especially given how eager she’s been to finally get a fair match with Diamond.” “Then where in the world is Diamond Tiara?!” That question weighed on everyone’s mind, none more so than Scootaloo. She paced the ring impatiently, lamenting her lack of an opponent as the referee began his obligatory ten-count. To Scootaloo’s dismay, Diamond never made herself seen, even as the referee reached ten and called for the bell. “The winner, by countout, SCOOTALOO!” Scootaloo stomped her foot angrily, yanking her arm away from the referee who tried to raise it. She furiously rolled out of the ring and stomped her way up the ramp. “Call the authorities! The police, the FBI, INTERPOL, anyone!” exclaimed Discord. “Put your best men on the case! Diamond Tiara is missing, and I will not rest until she's found!” “And, while we're getting that together,” sighed Celestia, rolling her eyes. “It's time for some tag-team action, AJ and Sunset versus the unlikely team of Lyra Heartstrings and Bon-Bon! That's next, on Friday Night Ascension!” Scootaloo burst into the General Manager’s office without bothering to knock. Twilight barely seemed to notice her new guest, her eyes glued on the stack of papers before her. Scootaloo made her way to the desk, slapping her hands firmly on the desk. “Where is she?” demanded Scootaloo. “I don't know, Scootaloo,” sighed Twilight. “But, I assure you, she will be reprimanded for her actions.” “You talk about reprimanding, but she's been running wild and getting off free. When does ‘reprimanding’ become ‘suspending’ or ‘kicking her ass’?” “I can't book a match if she doesn't come to work.” Twilight grabbed her cane and stood up, clutching her head. “And, when she does decide to come to work, she will be penalized, assuming she even has a job. So go home and celebrate your first win over Diamond Tiara. I'm afraid I don't have anything for you this Sunday, so I'll see you on Friday. Now, if you excuse me, I need some coffee.” “If I see her again, I'm breaking my bat over her head,” snarled Scootaloo. “You better make sure you find her before I do, because I'm putting that bitch on a stretcher for what she did to me.” Scootaloo turned for the door, walking directly into a clubbing forearm from a suddenly appearing Diamond Tiara. The Hottest Young Star in Wrestling dropped down onto Scootaloo, wailing her with lefts and rights. Twilight grabbed Diamond around the waist and pulled her off, putting her as far away from Scootaloo as possible. “Enough!” shouted Twilight. “Tiara, that's enough!” “Who the hell do you think you are?!” spat Diamond, swiping at Scootaloo. “You think you can attack me and get away with it?!” “Screw you, bitch!” Scootaloo fought to her feet, wiping a thin trickle of blood from her nose. “You coward! Can't beat me without a cheap shot, huh?!” “Don't make things worse!” Scootaloo leapt over Twilight, bringing Diamond to the ground and exploded with furious right hands. Twilight hit the ground badly, with her bad knee hitting the corner of the desk. She let out a howl of pain, then immediately pushed herself to her feet. She grabbed Scootaloo around the throat with the hook of her cane and dragged her off, tossing her to the ground. As Diamond attempted to pick up where she left off, Twilight whacked her in the middle with her cane. She shoved Diamond onto her butt, pressing the bottom of her cane against Diamond’s chest. “You will not fight in my office!” roared Twilight. “Sit down! I tried to be nice about this, but you’ve forced my hand! You really want each other that damn badly?!” Twilight huffed angrily, simply oozing intimidation. Even the blood rivals didn't dare to move when The Magician ordered them not to. “Fine! So be it! This Sunday, at DisHarmony, it'll be Diamond Tiara versus Scootaloo in a Three Stages of Hell Match! That’s best two out of three falls, each match being of a different nature. The first match will be a standard wrestling match. That's to decide which of you is the better wrestler. The second match will be held under extreme rules, so anything goes! That's for you two to beat the hell out of each other so you can finally get it out of your system! And, the third match, should it come to that, will be a Last Man Standing match!” “What's that one for?” asked Diamond scathingly. Twilight glared at her for several moments, then threateningly pointed her cane at Diamond Tiara’s throat. This effectively shut up the Crown Jewel of the EWF. “That's to make sure at least one of you doesn't come back to work on Monday,” snarled the GM. “And let me make this perfectly clear. You two are going to get in your cars and drive home. You're going to come in on Sunday, and you are going to keep the violence within the confines of an official match. There will be no pre-match ambushes or post-match beatdowns. When the bell sounds to end the match, you roll out of the ring and go the hell home! Failure to adhere to all of these rules will result in your immediate termination!” “Who the hell do you think you are?!” demanded Diamond. “You can't talk to me like that! I'm a wrestling princess, damn it, you won't threaten to fire me and get away with it! My father will—” “Your father won't be able to help you once you've been blacklisted from the professional wrestling world!” barked Twilight. “Your father might have some influence, but who do you think helped him get it?! Any pull that Filthy Rich has, I can overrule it with a phone call! I swear to you, Tiara, if you cross me… You will never work in this industry again! You'll be flipping burgers by Saturday! Am I understood?” Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo stared each other down, wishing to get their hands on each other. Unfortunately, a very angry GM had made it very clear that they would do well to wait a few days. So, begrudgingly, the two feuding rivals nodded. “Good. Now, if you excuse me, I've got a World Title picture to clean up...” “The General Manager let her temper get the best of her, and she’s taking it out on Diamond Tiara!” complained Discord. “It’s all horribly unfair!” “What did you expect? She’s been tossing rocks at the proverbial hornet’s nest for weeks!” exclaimed Celestia. “Anyone who’s been a fan of Twilight Sparkle back in her heyday should know that the absolute worst thing you can do is annoy The Magician. She may very well make you disappear.” Yee-haw! Sunset Shimmer and AJ burst onto the scene to massive applause. AJ scooped Sunset up, propping her up on her shoulder. The Demon cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted as loudly as she could. “Hell yeah!” The crowd shouted right back at her, causing the duo to grin. Sunset jumped down from her partner and the two ran into the ring. AJ put her palms up and Sunset immediately started laying in to prepare herself for the coming match. “The following contest is a tag team match, scheduled for one-fall! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 355 pounds, AJ AND SUNSET SHIMMER!” Bright, cheery pop filled the room, bringing with it Bon-Bon and her bowl of candies. She tossed sweets into the crowd as usual. She slid into the ring, offering the bowl to her opponents. With a shrug, they each took one and popped it in their mouths, thanking Bon-Bon for the unorthodox display of sportsmanship. Their greeting was interrupted by Lyra’s classic, harmonious harp. She joined them in the ring, standing begrudgingly next to her partner. Lyra reached for a candy, just to have her hand slapped away by Bon-Bon, who proceeded to toss the last of them into the crowd and slide the bowl out of the ring. “And their opponents, at a combined weight of 345 pounds, the team of BON-BON AND LYRA HEARTSTRINGS!” Sunset made her way to the corner, meaning the large southern brawler Applejack would be starting the match. Lyra laughed, playfully slapped Bon-Bon on the back, and stepped out of the ring and to the apron. Bon-Bon rolled her eyes, but snapped back to focus when it came time to strafe her opponent. The two touched gloves, and, as the referee called for the bell, the match began. “And we’re off,” said Celestia. “Bon-Bon and Applejack starting us off here, and Bon-Bon is going to have to use her speed and agility if she has any hopes of beating Applejack.” “At 6’4, 200 pounds, AJ definitely has the power advantage,” agreed Discord. “Bon-Bon is going to have to do some in-ring black magic if she’s going to scrape out a win here.” Bon-Bon dove forward in an attempt to take out Applejack’s legs, but had no such luck. Applejack brought up her knee and drove it into Bon-Bon’s jaw. Bon-Bon snapped up, then caught a firm right hand. Applejack hoisted her up, light as a feather, then dropped her down onto the mat. “And Applejack, firmly in the driver’s seat so far,” said Discord. “Despite the friendly start to this match up, AJ clearly has no reservations with denting up her new candy factory.” Bon-Bon scurried to her feet, her strategy much the same as before. Instead of a takedown, this time she went for a sweeping kick. AJ checked the kick, then countered with one of her own. She caught Bon-Bon in the hip, then launched a lightning-quick jab to Bon-Bon’s jaw. AJ grabbed her opponent by the neck and tossed her clean across the ring, landing her cleanly in the corner, where Sunset waited for her. Applejack tagged in her partner, who quickly slid into the ring, leapt into the air, and delivered a swift kick the Bon-Bon’s head, dropping her to the ground. “Beautiful enzuigiri by Shimmer,” called Celestia. “And the cover.” Bon-Bon brought her shoulder from the mat as quickly as possible. “And a kickout at one and a half.” Sunset pulled Bon-Bon to her feet and gave her a swift kick to the thigh, causing her to wince in pain. Bon-Bon finally found her opening and brought Sunset to the ground with a ferocious lariat. Bon-Bon hurried to her corner, where Lyra was waiting for her. As Bon-Bon went for the tag, Lyra moved her hand away with a smirk. Bon-Bon glared at her, at which point Lyra offered her hand for the tag yet again. Just like before, Lyra moved her hand away before her partner could make the tag. Bon-Bon glanced back at Sunset, who was tagging in her own partner, then returned her eyes to Lyra. She slapped Lyra across the face as hard as she could and rolled out of the ring. “Oh dear,” said Celestia. “Although a bit aggressive, that is technically an official tag. Heartstrings is now the legal man in the match.” Lyra massaged her cheek as she slowly made her way into the ring. Applejack uncomfortably watched the little domestic dispute that was unfolding before her and, in her preoccupation, she left her guard down long enough for Lyra connect with a shocking dropkick to the chest. As soon as AJ hit the mat, Lyra began stomping on her ankle, keeping her grounded for as long as she could. “Lyra with those heinous stomps to the leg, no doubt to negate Applejack’s distinct size advantage,” said Discord. “All the height, weight, and strength in the world doesn’t matter worth a damn if you can’t get off of the mat.” Lyra delivered one last brutal stomp before kicking AJ onto her stomach. Making sure to lock eyes with Bon-Bon while she did so, Lyra trapped Applejack’s legs with her own, then reached forward and grabbed her opponent in a facelock. “What’s this?! Lyra borrowing her partner’s submission move!” laughed Discord. “Bon-Bon can’t be too happy with that!” Applejack thrashed in the hold, reaching for the bottom rope in order to break the hold. Lyra had positioned herself well in the ring, however, and AJ knew she could never reach. She dug deep inside herself and, using some unknown hidden strength, pushed herself to her knees, then her feet. Lyra held on, transitioning from the stolen Sweet Tooth into a sleeper hold. Her new submission wouldn’t last, because Applejack backed herself into Sunset’s corner, squishing Lyra between the turnbuckle and the 200-pounder. Sunset slapped AJ’s chest, tagging herself into the match. Her partner slid out of the ring, and The Demon delivered a series of quick, fierce European uppercuts. She tossed Lyra to the ground, scaled the turnbuckle, and gave a leaping backflip. Lyra rolled out of the way, and Sunset caught nothing but mat. Now with some breathing room, Lyra crawled over for her corner and dove for Bon-Bon’s hand. Bon-Bon moved out of the way just before Lyra made it, smirking to herself. Lyra stood up, fire in her eyes, and backhanded Bon-Bon firmly before sliding out of the ring. “Ooh, these two are going to be the death of each other,” said Celestia. “Need I remind you that Trixie Lulamoon, the General Manager of Monday Night Magic, made it very clear that she expected these two to put their differences aside. One can only speculate what might happen if this team doesn’t click, but you can rest assured that it will not be good for the two involved.” Bon-Bon shouted at her partner, but managed to stay focused on the recovering Sunset Shimmer. She ran forward and dove into Sunset’s leg, bringing her down to her knees. Once there, Sunset was in a perfect position for Bon-Bon to swiftly kick her in the jaw, stunning The Demon. She then scooped Sunset to her feet, bending her over at the waist and slipping her head between her legs. Bon-Bon grabbed her around the middle and hoisted her up, sitting her on her shoulders, then raised Sunset high and slammed her back to the mat with a thunderous boom. “Hands Down Powerbomb!” called Celestia. “Just like Lyra with that STF, Bon-Bon taking the opportunity to… Shall we say… Pay homage to her tag team partner.” “Oh, don’t sugarcoat things, Regal, she’s trying to stick it to Lyra Heartstrings!” complained Discord. “She’s obviously jealous of Lyra’s natural supremacy and her abilities in the ring! Why else would she try to copy from her?” “Perhaps the same reason that Lyra used the Sweet Tooth?” “And let me stop you right there, Regal! Bon-Bon’s so-called Sweet Tooth is a standard STF! She has no claim to that move. The Hands Down Powerbomb, on the other hand, is a distinct, nuanced, modified variation of a classic powerbomb that not just any old jobber can pull off!” Bon-Bon smirked at her partner, gesturing to Sunset’s forlorn body. She approached Lyra for the tag, apparently having gotten enough animosity out of her system to work with someone she despised. She reached in for the tag just to be punched square in the nose. Lyra leapt through the ropes and descended onto her partner, beating her silly with furious rights and lefts. “No! You’re supposed to be her partner!” groaned Celestia. “Work together, for Christ’s sake! Your jobs may be in jeopardy!” Even if Lyra could hear Celestia, she was unlikely to stop her onslaught. It took the referee to physically pull Lyra away to get the fists to stop flying and, when they did, Lyra simply rolled out of the ring and made her way up the ramp. Bon-Bon worked her way to an upright position, checking her nose for blood before nodding to the referee to resume the match. Since he couldn’t exactly disqualify Lyra for attacking her own teammate, and Bon-Bon insisted she could continue, he had no other choice but to allow the lopsided, unfair, handicapped matchup to continue. Bon-Bon locked up with Sunset in the middle of the ring, immediately losing the advantage to The Demon. Sunset overpowered Bon-Bon and threw her into the corner where AJ stood, waiting for the tag. Sunset tagged her partner in, and dragged Bon-Bon into position in the middle of the ring. Applejack joined them, taking her place opposite of Sunset, with Bon-Bon standing punch-drunkenly in the middle. Applejack delivered a firm headbutt to Bon-Bon, which caused here to swing and sway directly into a superkick from Sunset, which laid her out onto her back. Without missing a beat, Applejack dropped a leg onto Bon-Bon’s throat while Sunset simultaneously leapt and backflipped in the air, landing on her middle with a crisp, picturesque standing shooting star press. “Earth, Wind, and Fire!” called Celestia. “Applejack for the pin!” Sunset rolled out of the ring while her partner dropped down and hooked Bon-Bon’s leg, pressing her shoulders to the mat. One! Two! Three! Applejack raised her fist as the bell rang, unable to properly enjoy her fairly hollow victory. Sunset joined the two in the ring and helped Bon-Bon to her feet to ensure that she was okay. “The winners, AJ AND SUNSET SHIMMER!” “Absolutely ridiculous! What sort of competitor turns their back on their partner like that?” demanded Celestia. “How petty, insecure, and self-absorbed can you really be!” “Hey, now, Bon-Bon is just as bad, if not worse! Anything Lyra did, Bon-Bon matched it and, in some cases, trumped it,” Discord seethed. “If you’re going to toss around blame for that match falling apart, be sure to give everyone their dues.” “Look, I never said that Bon-Bon was a perfect teammate there, but she was willing to put aside her differences with Lyra for the sake of the match! It seems that, with temperaments such as those, conflict would be a foregone conclusion,” sighed Celestia. “Let’s hope Pinkamena Pie has better luck with her partner this Sunday at the DisHarmony pay-per-view, where she and her mystery partner will take on Ember Torch and Starlight Glimmer: The Sovereignty in the main event!” “Also taking place is an Intercontinental Championship match between The Siren Submission Specialist Aria Blaze and the current champ, The Nightmare, Luna Regal,” added Discord. “As well as a simply hellacious Three Stages of Hell Match between Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo. All of this, and more, this Sunday at DisHarmony! Until then, I’ve been Discord Redrum and Celestia Regal, wishing you a good night!”