//------------------------------// // Monday Night Magic III // Story: Equestria Wrestling Federation // by chillbook1 //------------------------------// Celestia Regal stood in the ring, clutching a microphone to the general applause of the crowd. She was something of a fan-favorite commentator, offering insightful analysis of all competitors, regardless of her personal feelings to them. “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the first ever Ultimate Opportunist,” said Celestia. “The Outrageous Pinkamena Diane Pie!” Pinkie’s theme song hit, supercharging the crowd with her unique, infectious energy. Pinkie jumped down the ramp, holding her briefcase high above her head. She grinned the whole way, sliding into the ring and scaling the turnbuckle. She raised the briefcase up, slapping it firmly as the crowd serenaded her with cheers. She dropped down and met with Celestia in the middle of the ring, shaking her hand and giving her a hug. “Hello, Pinkamena, nice to have you out here,” said Celestia. “It’s nice to be here. And please,” said Pinkie. “Just Pinkie is fine.” “Alright, then, Pinkie, I’m sure the entire EWF Universe wants to know… How does it feel to make history as the first ever Ultimate Opportunist?” “It feels good, Celestia. It feels really good! Not just to win the briefcase, but to give the fans what they want.” Pinkie pointed to the crowd, smiling while she did. “And what they want is a new EWF World Champion!” To prove her right, the crowd burst into loud, raucous cheers. Pinkie smiled even wider, bowing to the crowd before returning to the interview. “And when do you expect to cash in that opportunity?” asked Celestia. “Let me tell you something, Celestia, cause I’ve been thinking about it long and hard,” said Pinkie. “And I realized that this briefcase… It’s like a big ‘ol piece of chocolate cake. Sure, it’s delicious, but you probably wanna wait until a special occasion to tear into it. So I should probably save it for the right time.” The crowd let out a collective “Aww”, disappointed that they would have to wait to see a history-changing match. “Buuuuut, I’ve always been really bad with diets,” continued Pinkie, patting her belly. “And I always eat that piece of cake as soon as I get it! So I’m cashing in the Ultimate Opportunity right here, right now, on the EWF World Champion!” There was silence for a few moments, save for the explosive reaction from the crowd. Nothing happened at all for a solid minute, and then a classy, extravagant theme floated through the arena. The champion made herself visible, stepping out in light blue ring trunks and gear. Trixie held the title over her shoulder, then brought a microphone up to her mouth. “I know what you are all expecting,” said Trixie, ignoring the boos. “You're expecting me to weasel my way out of this title defense. To suspend Pie, or leave the arena, or something. But you all are forgetting something.” Trixie raised the title high above her head. “You're forgetting that Trixie is your champion! The Great and Powerful Trixie is the greatest EWF champion in history! And if Pie wants to challenge me, then so be it!” There was a genuine pop at that. Even those hopeful for a title change didn't think it would be so easy. “I only have one request,” continued Trixie. “It's been years since I was last ring-ready. Give me until the end of the show to get ready. Let's make this the main event!” “What do you think, guys?” asked Pinkie, taking the mic from Celestia. “Do you guys wanna see me versus Trixie in the main event tonight?” The crowd exploded, transferring from general cheers to chants of “Let's go, Pinkie!” and “Trixie sucks!” “Well, there you have it, Trix! I'll see you in the main event!” Pinkie dropped the mic and raised her fists over her head, bathing in the glow of the crowd. She pointed to Trixie, who just nodded as she walked off to prepare for her first match in years. “Welcome one, welcome all!” said Discord. “To Monday Night Magic! The most exciting part of your dreary Monday! I'm Discord Redrum, joined, as always, by my broadcasting partner, Celestia Regal.” “We've got an action-packed night ahead of us, folks,” said Celestia, bubbling with excitement. “Tonight, for the first time in nearly ten years, the EWF World Championship will go on the line in our main event: The Wicked Witch, Trixie Lulamoon versus The Ultimate Opportunist, Pinkamena Diane Pie!” “But first, opening the show, we will be blessed by the presence of the hottest young star in the EWF!” Diamond Tiara’s classical fanfare blared, marking her arrival. She walked to the ring with a purpose, a few choice words in mind for everyone in attendance. “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome DIAMOND TIARA!” Diamond slipped into the ring, snatching the mic from the announcer. She brought the mic to her lips, then lowered it when the crowd decided to boo incessantly. Her lip twitched angrily, but she managed to stop herself from shouting immediately. “When I speak, you don’t,” said Diamond angrily. To the surprise of only Diamond, the crowd’s boos not only kept going, but actively got louder. “Quiet. Quiet. Quiet!” With every word, the boos got stronger and more raucous. “Understand this, you morons, I’m not leaving until I said what I need to say. So cram it!” She stood her ground, watching the crowd around her with contempt. After a few moments, the noise died down and Diamond was allowed to speak. “Good. I’ve got a few things to say. “Last Friday, I was poised to win the Ultimate Opportunity. I had it in the bag. But then… That dirty, talentless street rat Scootaloo stuck her nose in my business! It should be me who’s the Ultimate Opportunist, not that joke Pinkamena Pie!” The crowd immediately began chanting for Pinkie, which did little more than annoy Diamond. “But that’s a problem for another day. For now, I want this thorn out of my side, once and for all! So, Scootaloo, bring your ass out here so I can send you back to Developmental where you belong!” There was a moment of silence, save for the general murmuring of the crowd. It wasn’t Scootaloo’s music that played, but a soft, angelic hymn. Down the ramp came Sweetie Belle, clutching a microphone as she approached the ring. She wore silver trunks with a tri-color shield on the butt, and a similarly silver top. She brought the mic to her mouth, waiting for an opportunity to talk. “Who the hell are you?” demanded Diamond Tiara. “If I recall, I asked for Scootaloo, and, unless you’ve done a major make-over, you’re not her!” “Well, sorry to break it to you, but Scootaloo isn’t here tonight,” said Sweetie Belle. “You busted her up pretty bad, and she’s at home getting better.” Sweetie Belle shrugged her shoulders, shaking her head in disappointment. “You really hurt her on Friday, which me and Bloom just couldn’t deal with. And we made a decision. We decided that Scootaloo is a friend of ours now, an honorary Crusader, and we Crusaders take care of our own. So, since Scootaloo isn’t here to fight you…” Sweetie Belle flashed the crowd a shining, million-dollar smile. “You seem to want a match tonight. I’d be more than happy to fill in.” Sweetie dropped her mic and ran for the ring, sliding under the bottom rope. As soon as she was up she met with Diamond in the center of the ring, each of them swinging wildly at one another. “We've got a brawl on our hands!” cheered Discord. “Finally, Diamond Tiara gets the justice she deserves!” “We don't even have an official ready for this match!” said Celestia. “This is just a fight, no match to be had!” As if hearing and sympathizing with Celestia’s outrage, a referee quickly ran to the ring from backstage. He slid into the ring and pried the two girls apart. He kept them each at arm’s length, checking them both for damage. After they both insisted that they wanted to continue, the referee reluctantly called for the bell. Diamond immediately pushed past the referee and leapt onto Sweetie Belle, raining down hard right hands. Diamond then switched to a quick pin, which didn't even get a one count before Sweetie kicked out. They both scurried to their feet and locked up in the middle of the ring. “Diamond Tiara, quickly taking control of this match,” said Discord. “No doubt trying to end this annoyance as quickly as possible.” Diamond transitioned to a side headlock, wrenching Sweetie to her knees. Diamond quickly released the hold and delivered a skull-rattling kick to the side of the head before dropping down for the pin. One! Two! Sweetie Belle managed to kick out, but was allowed no reprieve; Diamond grabbed Sweetie by the hair, ignoring the referee’s shouts to release her, and dragged her to the corner. She held Sweetie’s head in place with her left hand and used her right for stiff, heavy strikes. Diamond planned to use every single second of the referee’s five-count, getting over a dozen hits in before the referee it it four. She swung one last time, only to have her fist caught by Sweetie. Not releasing Diamond’s hand, Sweetie swung kick after kick into Diamond’s thigh, backing her away from the corner. Sweetie laced their fingers together, forming a tight grip, then ran for the corner. She climbed turnbuckles and springboarded, spinning around Diamond and bringing her down into a brutal Tornado DDT. “Incredible maneuver! Look at the velocity of that hit!” said Celestia. “Sweetie Belle just about sent Diamond Tiara through the mat! And the cover!” One! Two! Diamond Tiara just barely managed to kick out, then quickly rolled out of the ring, clutching her head and neck. Sweetie Belle beckoned for her opponent, grinning slyly as she did. Diamond slowly returned to the ring, keeping her eyes on Sweetie Belle the whole time. Diamond ran forward, ducking under a clothesline from Sweetie. She swung her foot back, aiming to bury her foot in Diamond’s middle; Sweetie caught the leg and swept Diamond to the ground, then wrapped her legs around Diamond’s, cinching in the Figure-Four Leglock. “Sweetie’s borrowed a little something from her sister! She's got that Leglock locked in, in the middle of the ring where nowhere to go!” said Celestia. “It’s only a matter of time before she taps!” “You stop doubting the Pro Wrestling Princess! She’s the best in the world, god damn it, and you will show her some respect!” shouted Discord, his outrage mounting. “Diamond Tiara is one of the most gifted stars in the history of the sport! She can break a basic Figure-Four!” As if to prove him right, Diamond began fighting out of the submission, slamming her fist against Sweetie’s ankle, trying her hardest to break the hold. As she struggled in agony, an idea brewed in her head, some way to break out. Diamond rocked, turning to her side, then onto her stomach, reversing the leverage and applying pressure onto Sweetie Belle’s legs. “Look at that! Genius reversal from Diamond Tiara!” said Discord, clapping his hands. “Maybe it’ll be Sweetie Belle who taps!” Sweetie Belle quickly pulled herself forward, grabbing onto the bottom rope to force the break and dash Discord’s hopes. Diamond untangled her legs and got to her feet first, vying for an advantage. She swung once, twice, three times, connecting with strong right hooks every time. She went for a fourth when Sweetie caught the fist for the second time; She wasted no time in running for the corner and climbing the turnbuckle. Diamond brought her free arm forward, smashing her forearm into Sweetie before she could get her jump. Her opponent stunned and teetering on the top turnbuckle, Diamond springboarded off of the middle rope and brought Sweetie down to the mat with her devastating finisher. “Girl’s Best Friend!” cheered Discord. “And it’s over!” One! Two! Three! Diamond Tiara stood up with a devious smirk plastered across her face. Before the announcer could declare her the winner, she snatched the microphone away, shoving the announcer to the ground. The crowd exploded into boos, but Diamond didn't let that stop her from speaking. “See that? See what I did to her?” said Diamond. “You could’ve stopped this! But you won’t, will you? You’re a coward, Scootaloo! You like to take cheap shots with baseball bats and send your friends to do your dirty work!” Diamond grabbed Sweetie by the hair, pulling her up to her knees. “And this is what happens. This is what happens when you face off with the Crown Jewel of the EWF.” Diamond clubbed Sweetie over the head with the microphone, dropping her to the ground like a bag of rocks. She laid in on the battered rookie, delivering kick after kick into Sweetie Belle’s head. Diamond dropped to her knees and rained down hard strikes to Sweetie’s face, to the sounds of thunderous boos all around. “You can stop this anytime!” Diamond shouted into her mic. “All you have to do is come out and face me! Save your friend, Scootaloo! Unless you’re too scared to do it!” Diamond returned to her onslaught and smashed the microphone against Sweetie’s head yet again. She managed to break through the skin, and a noticeable flow of red trickled down Sweetie Belle’s face. The hard, industrial notes of Scootaloo’s music hit, followed by Scootaloo herself. She ran down the ramp, clutching her trusty baseball bat tightly. As she slid into the ring, Diamond slid out, running halfway up the ramp. Scootaloo would’ve followed, but she dropped to a knee to help Sweetie when she noticed just how badly she was hurt. Scootaloo picked up the mic from the ground, trembling in anger, and brought it to her lips. “You made a mistake, Tiara,” said Scootaloo. “You want me so bad? You can have me on Friday. You’d better bring your A-game, princess, because only one of us is walking out of that ring!” Diamond Tiara smiled and laughed as she backed up the ramp. She bowed to the crowd, which booed her incessantly, then disappeared into the backstage area. Bon-Bon restlessly paced around the ring, waiting for her opponent to make herself seen. She had been dying for her rematch ever since Lyra cheated a win out with her chair trick. Bon-Bon was the type to learn from history, though, and she made sure that she wouldn’t fall victim to the same trick twice. Lyra’s angelic harps floated out throughout the arena, followed soon by Lyra herself. She quickly slid into the ring, grinning superiorly at Bon-Bon. As far as Lyra was concerned, she had Bon-Bon’s number. This match was as good as won. The bell rang, and the competitors met in the middle of the ring, vying for control to start the match. “And here we go with a rematch, Bon-Bon versus former Intercontinental Champion, Lyra Heartstrings,” said Celestia. “Last time these two locked up in the ring… Well, let’s just say the match had a rather controversial end.” Unlike last time the two met in the ring, Bon-Bon was in no mood for games. She wrapped her arm around Lyra’s neck in a side headlock, quickly wrenching her to the ground. Lyra pushed her way back to her feet, breaking free of Bon-Bon’s grasp. She shoved Bon-Bon against the ropes, dropping her head down for a back body drop. Bon-Bon stopped herself with the ropes, then ran forward and delivered a stiff kick to Lyra’s jaw. As Lyra recoiled, Bon-Bon grabbed her legs and took her down, dropping onto her for a quick pin. One! Lyra kicked out easily, swiftly rolling out of the ring for a breather. “Bon-Bon seems to be in no hurry for a repeat of what happened last week,” said Celestia as Bon-Bon followed her opponent out of the ring. Lyra ran around the apron, then slid under the bottom rope and back into the ring. Bon-Bon followed her, returning to the ring just in time to receive an avalanche of right hands from her opponent. “The master strategy of Lyra Heartstrings is what’s going to give her the edge she needs in this match,” said Discord. “That’s the veteran instincts one should come to expect from a former Intercontinental Champion!” Lyra dragged Bon-Bon to her feet, bending her over at the waist and slipping Bon-Bon’s head between her legs. She grabbed her around the middle and hoisted her up, sitting her on her shoulders. Bon-Bon wriggled free, slid down Lyra’s back and brought her to the ground with a drop toehold, then reached forward to lock her hands around Lyra’s face. “Incredible reversal!” cheered Celestia as Bon-Bon locked in her hold. “Lyra, clearly going for her signature Hands Down Powerbomb, finds herself in a sticky situation!” “I feel like you found that candy pun far too amusing…” sighed Discord. “But, yes, Bon-Bon has that Sweet Tooth Facelock cinched in nice and tight. Lyra is going to have to think quickly if she hopes to escape this hold!” Lyra immediately panicked, squirming and thrashing in a futile attempt to escape the submission. She reached for the bottom rope, with Bon-Bon tugging and wrenching the hold. The referee dropped down to check Lyra for a submission when, in a wild swing for the bottom rope, snatched a fistful of the official’s pant leg. The ref tumbled to the ground, landing on top of Bon-Bon and causing her to lose her grip. “Disgusting behavior!” shouted Celestia, completely outraged. “Laying your hands on a uniformed official is disrespect for the sanctity of the match in the highest order!” “Oh, come off it, Regal! That was clearly an accident!” Unsurprisingly, Discord came to Lyra’s defense. “She was reaching for the bottom rope and the ref got in the way! It could’ve happened to anyone!” The pile of three bodies untangled themselves and stood up, with Lyra facing a very angry referee. She raised her hands in surrender, assuring him that what she had done was unintentional. The official seemed to consider things for a moment before calling for the match to continue. Lyra turned to her opponent, walking directly into a spinning heel from her opponent. Lyra fell backwards, crashing into the referee and knocking him to the ground yet again. This time, however, he didn’t seem able to return to his feet. “Ah! What about that?” asked Discord. “Bon-Bon used the former Intercontinental champion as a weapon to incapacitate the referee! But, somehow, I have the feeling that we’d never have heard about it from you.” “An accident! Very obviously unintentional, just as you claim of Heartstrings,” countered Celestia. “Oh dear, it seems that Lyra’s elbow might have caught the referee in the head. We may need a replacement…” Bon-Bon grabbed a fistful of Lyra’s hair, dragging her to her feet. The former IC champion introduced her elbow into Bon-Bon’s gut, grabbed her around the neck, and drove her head to the ground with a thunderous DDT. She sat up, glanced to the incapacitated referee, then grinned. “Oh no…” groaned Celestia as Lyra slid out of the ring and reached beneath the apron. “Heartstrings trying the same trick she pulled last week!” “It worked, didn’t it?” laughed Discord. “Why wouldn’t she try it twice?” Lyra returned to the ring with a chair, making her way to Bon-Bon, who immediately grabbed at the chair. The two struggled for the steel chair, eventually backing Lyra into a corner. Lyra kicked at Bon-Bon, creating enough separation for her to toss the chair to Bon-Bon and drop against the turnbuckle in faux-unconsciousness. Bon-Bon held the chair and winced, waiting for the bell to call for the end of the match. When it didn’t come, she turned to the ref, who had his back turned towards them as he used the ropes to pull himself up. Bon-Bon shrugged, then smashed the chair firmly over the top of Lyra’s head and chucked the chair out of the ring. “Bon-Bon seems to want to beat Lyra at her own game,” said Celestia. Bon-Bon tossed the mostly knocked out Lyra to the ground and covered her. The referee sluggishly turned to face the conflict, dropping down for the count. One! Two! Three! Bon-Bon smiled to the crowd, rolled out of the ring, then headed up the ramp as the referee attempted to resuscitate Lyra. Trixie tapped her foot impatiently as she laced up her boots. It had been ages since she last wore them, and she was getting a bit restless to slip them on. The sooner she got them on, the sooner she could get them off. For her, professional wrestling was just that: a profession. She didn’t have the love or passion for it that her former partner did. It was simply something she was good at, and something she could make a lot of money doing. There was a knock at the door, which annoyed Trixie to no end. “Come in,” she snarled. “And it better be important!” Her door opened and two of her performers rushed in, elbowing each other out of the way in an attempt to speak to the GM before the other. Immediately, Trixie knew that she’d be leaving this exchange with a few more grey hairs than how she entered. “Trixie!” said Lyra, arriving at the desk first. “I need to talk to you!” “I was here first, Heartstrings!” snapped Bon-Bon. “Back of the line!” “You better start showing me some respect, before I kick your candy ass!” “What do you want?!” snapped Trixie. “I’ll have you know, I have a match to get ready for, so I could do without your raw stupidity right now!” “She’s a cheater!” said both women, pointing an accusatory finger at the other. “That chair thing last week gave you a win you didn’t earn,” said Bon-Bon. “You cheated for that win!” “Uh, hello, there’s no rule against not getting hit with a chair. You shouldn’t have been holding it,” said Lyra, crossing her arms over her chest. “And you should talk about cheating! There’s no rule against not getting hit with a foreign object, but there are definitely rules against hitting your opponent with one!” “I don’t care! You know what? You two have a match this Friday, at Ascension,” said Trixie. “I’ll send Sparkle an e-mail to set up the match.” “A tiebreaker,” said Bon-Bon. “For all the marbles. No funny business.” “Do not cut me off ever again! Truth be told, Trixie just cannot be bothered with your childish bickering.” Trixie finished with her boots, then stood up to stretch. “Your match isn’t against each other. I’m putting you two in a tag team match against Applejack and Sunset Shimmer.” “What?!” Both women were absolutely shocked and appalled by the decision. They glared at each other, eyes simply leaking contempt. “This way, you two learn to tolerate each other and they have something to do instead of trying to get a title rematch.” Trixie finished her boot, then picked up her phone and began to dial. “And you better do well, because your jobs are on the line.” Trixie smirked smugly, then pointed for the door. “Now get out! I’ve got a title defense to get ready for, and some phone calls to make!” Lyra and Bon-Bon never took their eyes off of each other as they exited the office, neither overjoyed with their new tag partner. If Trixie noticed, she didn’t especially care. There were far more pressing matters on her mind. She had a title to defend, and she needed to be totally focused. The sound of cannon fire rang through the arena, then deep pounding of a bass drum and the clash of cymbals. Tirek slowly, angrily stomped down the ramp and climbed over the top rope easily. “The following contest is scheduled for one-fall! Introducing first, from Tartarus, weighing in at 392 pounds, TIREK CRIMSON!” Tirek gave no reaction as he waited for his opponent. As soon as the music hit, he snarled angrily. The slick guitar riff annoyed him to no end, mostly because he knew that this match would be as unchallenging as his last. “And for those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of meeting him, allow me to introduce his opponent!” Spike walked out from backstage, his partner right by his side. “From the Badlands, weighing in at 199 pounds, he is The Future of the EWF, The Brave, The Glorious SPIKE EMERALD!” The crowd applauded and cheered, mostly out of pity. Unless Spike had undergone some serious training since his last encounter with Tirek Crimson, this match would be hard to watch. “Now, EWF Universe, I know what you’re thinking,” said Spike. “You’re thinking I’m crazy. You’re thinking I’ve got a deathwish. Well, you’ve got that half right, everybody, cause I’m crazy good in the ring and I’ve got Death wishing he could step to me! Ain’t that right, Mac?” “Eeyup,” came the reply of Spike’s stoic, quiet partner. “So what, Little Red over there got a win over me? Newsflash, people: Spike Emerald always wins, even when he loses! That first match, Big T, that was a test. That was me seeing what you’re capable of, and I admit… I underestimated you. But I don’t make mistakes and I damn sure don’t repeat em. So I hope you kept a recording of your win over me, because it won’t ever happen again!” Spike dropped his mic, briskly walking to the ring to the chants and cheers of the capacity crowd. He showed no fear as he slid into the ring, standing toe-to-toe with the hulking mass of destruction that was Tirek Crimson. The two stared one another down (far more literally in Tirek’s case) while the referee reluctantly called for the bell. Tirek swung a massive, tree trunk-like arms at Spike, which he quickly ducked under. As soon as Tirek turned around, the self-proclaimed Future of the EWF began laying into Tirek’s midsection. The giant barely seemed to notice, looking down at the considerably smaller Spike as if he was a child throwing a temper-tantrum. After about thirty seconds of enduring pointlessly being pummeled, Tirek grabbed Spike by the throat, lifted him up and slammed him onto his back. “Good lord…” said Celestia with a horrified sort of awe. “He just about slammed Spike Emerald through the mat…” “We didn’t even really have time to commentate…” Discord’s voice had a layer of amusement on top of the horror and awe. “That’s the end of that one. All Tirek has to do is pin him and… Wait… He’s… He’s getting up?” Sure enough, Spike was, somehow, working his way back to his feet. He sluggishly stood up, his fists raised to fight. Tirek seemed incapable of believing it, resting his hand on Spike’s shoulder. Spike nodded, as if begging for Tirek to give him his best shot. Tirek then proceeded to lift Spike above his head like a toy and slam him with all of his might onto the canvas. Tirek dropped down to the lifeless, unmoving body of Spike for the pin. One! Two! Three! Tirek snarled as he stood up, unsatisfied by the match. He barely heard the announcer call for his victory, instead deciding to grab Spike by the hair and drag him to his feet. He lifted him by the throat, hoisted him up, and slammed him yet again. “This is hard to watch,” said Celestia, unable to tear her eyes away from the massacre that was occurring in the ring. Tirek lifted Spike again, hand around throat, when he noticed a silent Big Mac jumping onto the apron. Tirek stood there, staring down the equally massive Big Mac. The two giants had a staredown, Mac’s face like stone. “Drop him,” he ordered. Tirek tilted his head, a devious smirk on his face. He hoisted Spike up and chokeslammed him onto the mat, dropping Spike for the fourth time that night. Before Tirek knew it, Big Mac was in the ring, standing toe-to-toe with Tirek Crimson. “A standoff for the ages,” breathed Celestia. “Two titans in a staredown that could cause the very earth itself to quake.” Mac grabbed Spike by his trunks, pulling him to his feet and tossing him over his shoulder. He never took his eyes off of Tirek as he carried Spike out of the ring. Tirek snarled as his first real competition walked calmly out of the arena with his battered, broken friend in tow. The peppy accordion of Pinkie’s polka theme rang throughout the arena, sending the crowd into a frenzy. The Outrageous One leapt into view, clutching her golden briefcase with her. She slid the Ultimate Opportunity down the ramp then cartwheeled after it. She scooped it up, then slid into the ring to ravenous, raucous “Pinkie Pie” chants. She raised the Ultimate Opportunity briefcase over her head, basking in the glow from her very vocal supporters. She handed the briefcase over to the referee, her biggest grin planted firmly on her face. A regal piano theme rose throughout the arena, the majesty and elegance of the theme lost in the sea of all-encompassing boos. Trixie Lulamoon stepped into view, decked out in her shimmering silver ring gear for the first time in years. She wore a sparkly, star-spangled cape and hat in addition to her in-ring gear. She paused in the middle of the ramp, looking around at the crowd that oh-so detested her. She took in a deep breath, then twirled so that her cape billowed out behind her and dropped to one knee, one hand in front of her her face. The veteran fans of the EWF appreciated seeing Trixie’s classic entrance, even if they weren’t too fond of The Showstopper today. Trixie clambered up the apron, staring across the ring at her opponent, who was leaned against the turnbuckle in waiting. Trixie removed her hat and cape, resting them both on the ring post, then stepped into the ring. “The Ultimate Opportunity has been redeemed, and so… The following contest is scheduled for one-fall, and it is for the EWF World Championship! Introducing first, the challenger! From Rockville, weighing in at 266 pounds, the Outrageous PINKAMENA DIANE PIE!” Pinkie rose from the corner to a cascading cheer from the crowd, a determined grin on her face. Trixie showed no emotion, almost looking past the Ultimate Opportunist, as if she wasn’t even there. “And her opponent! From Whinnyapolis, weighing in at 156 pounds, she is the current EWF World Champion, The Showstopper TRIXIE LULAMOON!” Trixie turned sharply and leapt onto the middle rope, her fist raised high above her head. She returned to find Pinkie waiting for her in the middle of the ring, offering her hand. To the surprise of everyone in the arena, Pinkie included, Trixie accepted the handshake. The two backed away, then strafed one another as the bell rang to begin the first defense of the EWF World Championship in nearly a decade. “And we’re off!” said Celestia. “Trixie Lulamoon, The Showstopper versus Pinkamena Pie, the Ultimate Opportunist! Never before has this match been seen, this is truly a one in a lifetime face off!” Pinkie was the first to act, grabbing Trixie in a tie up. Never really the sort to bother with rest holds, she immediately bent Trixie over at the waist and slipped her head between her legs. Trixie dropped to the mat and rolled out of the ring, making a time-out gesture with her hands. Pinkie politely backed away, leaning against the nearby turnbuckle with a grin. “Pinkamena going for the early win here, but the veteran Trixie slipping out of Pie’s arms like a greased pig,” said Celestia. “If I’m being honest, I worry for the champion’s odds in this match. “Ten years is a hell of a long time to develop ring rust,” admitted Discord. “But Trixie Lulamoon didn’t get to become the greatest EWF champion in history just to let a bit of ring rust unseat her.” Trixie slowly returned to the ring, holding her arm out to keep Pinkie back. She nodded to the referee when he asked if she could continue, then met with Pinkie a second time. Trixie got the upper hand this time, sliding under Pinkie’s arm and transitioning into a rear waistlock. Pinkie pushed backwards, sending Trixie towards the ropes. She slid out of the ring again, clutching her chest breathlessly. Pinkie sat on the middle rope, creating a space for Trixie to return through, and beckoned for the champion to enter. Trixie went around the other side to enter the squared circle, her frustration visibly growing. “Trixie is going to have to get her head in the game if she wants to keep that belt,” noted Celestia. “Pinkie clearly is in the zone here.” Pinkie ran forward, missing Trixie with a clothesline. She turned around and caught the incoming kick from The Showstopper. With one hand, Pinkie shoved Trixie to the ground, at which point she rolled out of the ring for a third time. “Come on!” shouted Pinkie, her arms outstretched. Trixie clutched her neck, a strange smile growing on her face. She slowly raised her hand and, making sure she was locking eyes with Pinkie, snapped her fingers. The crowd saw it. The commentators saw it. Trixie saw it. But, her back turned, Pinkie did not. Ember Torch and Starlight Glimmer leapt from the crowd, rushing into the ring and immediately raining down blows onto the challenger. They dropped Pinkie to the mat, stomping on any bit of the Ultimate Opportunist that they could get their boots on. The referee called for the bell, but could do nothing to stop the savage onslaught. Trixie made her way to the timekeeper, swiped up a microphone, and sarcastically began applauding. “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner by disqualification, Pinkamena Diane Pie!” laughed Trixie. “However… Still the EWF World Champion, The Showstopper, Trixie Lulamoon!” The crowd filled the arena with deafening boos as Trixie made her way into the ring, where Starlight and Ember continued to beat down a defenseless Pinkie. They dragged Pinkie to her feet, with Starlight bending her over at the waist, slipped an arm over her back and grabbed it her own hand from beneath Pinkie’s middle. Trixie pointed up, and Starlight hoisted Pinkie vertically. At the order of a downward flourish from Trixie, Starlight dropped straight down, slamming Pinkie directly onto her head. “This is what happens! This is why you never go against Trixie,” said the champion. “Raise her up!” Ember and Starlight did as they were told, dragging the unmoving body of Pinkie Pie from the ground and hoisting her over their shoulders. Trixie dropped the mic to, then dropped to a bended knee. Starlight and Ember lifted Pinkie then dropped her face directly onto Trixie’s knee. “Now that we’ve got that taken care of,” said Trixie, accepting the mic back from Starlight. “It’s time that Trixie explains something to one Twilight Sparkle.” The crowd took that as their opportunity to begin chanting Twilight’s name, which did nothing but annoy Trixie. “If you want to chant for her, then fine, but she’s a loser! Just like all of you! Losers, losers, all of you!” Trixie had to wait nearly a full minute for the boos to die down completely. “Twilight Sparkle, you’ve been trying and trying to get this championship from me, and you’ve done nothing but fail! You can send your best, but I will always emerge victorious, because I am, always was, and always will be smarter, stronger, faster, better than you! So you can send in your warriors, your chosen soldiers, your superstars, but they will fall, crushed under the boot of my kingdom! My Sovereignty!” Ember snatched Trixie’s title from the approaching timekeeper and strapped it around the champion’s waist. Trixie’s goons, her Sovereignty, dropped to bended knee beside their mistress, who rested a hand on each of their shoulders while medical staff rushed to Pinkie’s aid. “This is absolutely despicable!” roared Celestia. “A familiar sight: Trixie Lulamoon cheating to retain her championship! This is a repeat of when she screwed Twilight Sparkle all those years ago at Summer Sun Celebration!” “Look, you may disagree with Trixie’s methods, but they are effective,” said Discord. “The match ended in a disqualification, ergo, Champion’s Advantage allows for Trixie to retain her title. That’s all there is to it.” “And, unfortunately, that’s all the time we have tonight. We’ll have to wait until Friday for Twilight Sparkle’s response to this controversy. But, until then, EWF Universe, this has been Celestia Regal and Discord Redrum. See you next time.” “Good night!”