She regained consciousness before her eyes opened. Coming to her senses, Twilight felt her back pressing against grainy, tiny pebbles. Sand, she thought to herself. Perking her ears, she heard the crash of waves pounding into the shore, followed by the softer whoosh which signaled their retreat.
Twilight opened her eyes, expecting the same environment as last night’s dream. Instead, she only found sand, and water. The sand stretched to each side, endlessly, even fading off into the horizon. In front of her, a massive expanse of water loomed; the deep blue of the ocean, and the whitewash of the waves which crashed onto the shore.
The unicorn felt water seeping into her hind legs. Withdrawing, she saw the waves lapping at her hooves, almost teasing her, calling her. Another dream, huh? Standing on all fours, she looked around, searching for a way, a direction. Her search turned up nothing until she looked down.
To Twilight’s right there was only featureless sand, but to her left, imprints in the miniscule grains trailed, seemingly without end, off into the distance. Putting her hoof over the dent in the sand, she saw it once held an object of roughly the same shape and size. “Hoofprints...” she murmured. Looking around once more, to reassure herself there was nothing else to follow, she started to follow the hoofprints... wherever they could possibly lead.
=================
One hoof in front of the other. Again. And again.
How many times had Twilight repeated this motion? She had no idea of telling. The monotony, the repetition, had quite literally numbed her mind. She was only aware, she only thought, of the soft, slight crunch of the sand under her hooves, the rush of the ocean next to her, and her light breaths that disappeared into the air. And of course, the hoofprints. Impossibly, they continued, and showed no sign of stopping.
A light breeze rustled Twilight’s mane. Her eyes continued to focus downward, as she paid the wind no heed. She paused, though, as the wind picked up, blowing into her face and dislodging her mane from its normal place. Her ears perked, as she realized that it wasn’t the inaudible, indecipherable whoosh of your average wind. Winds, after all, are capable of carrying things, both physical and intangible.
This wind carried voices. A whisper of wind, if you will.
Twilight was frozen where she stood, listening intently. Try as she might, she was unable to figure out what the voices were actually saying, much to her annoyance. She heard, though, the excitement in their chatter, their barely-contained impatience. These voices rushed on, talking impossibly fast. In turn, the wind only picked up speed, roaring all around. Sand picked up around Twilight, too much of it pelting her face (much to her dismay). Just as it seemed the wind could get no stronger, the voices stopped, and the wind died.
Coughing and spluttering, Twilight tried to rub the sand out of her eyes. After much scratching and rubbing, she was finally able to open her eyes without too much irritation. After getting her bearings, Twilight’s eyes widened as she took in her surroundings. Her new surroundings.
To her left, the beach ended abruptly, replaced by grassy fields and the occasional hill. The hoofsteps remained, as did some of the beach, but they both disappeared around a corner, hidden by a conveniently placed hill.
The lavender pony had no less than thousands of thoughts shooting around in her head. What was that all about? Why did everything change?
She thought for a moment longer. I must be close to whatever this dream wants to show me. That wind was carrying voices, which much be close, maybe even around that corner. Without another moment’s hesitation, Twilight started forward again, this time at a gallop. Rounding the corner, she skidded to a stop.
Her last dream had been void of any interaction between herself and others. She had expected this dream to be no different, for good reason. And yet, there stood before her a dozen or so ponies, all chattering excitedly.
Twilight blinked. She blinked again, more rapidly, but they were still there. She looked to the right and her eyes widened. Instead of the ocean continuing, like she had thought it would, the sea level had somehow fallen in this area. Though she was still walking on sand, the ocean was now hundreds of feet below her. To add to the strangeness, twelve or so rowboats had stranded themselves on the beach. Somehow, though she had never seen one before in her life, she knew what they were.
Looking out into the sea, Twilight was met with the sight of Ponyville. Again, she blinked, but it seemed to be as real as a dream could possibly make it. Her home (or more accurately, her dream’s version of her home) seemed to have drawn closer than in her last dream. Squinting, Twilight was able to make out everything from the leaves on the trees to the blades of grass in the ground. All this stunning clarity, almost that she could reach out and touch it, and yet it still seemed too far away. I normally wouldn’t be able to see all this in such detail, the lavender pony mused to herself.
Dismissing it as another strange working of her dream, Twilight studied the rest of her surroundings. This seems to be the same place I had arrived at in my last dream. The unicorn took a step back, hearing the crunch of sand under her hooves. ...With some changes, of course. Surveying the environment, Twilight only became more sure that she had come to the same place. Behind her lay the expanse of grassland. It had apparently suffered through the storm of Twilight’s last dream, as lakes, ponds, and bays of every size dotted the land. The chasm-turned-ocean still separated her and Ponyville, as it concentrated into a small strait, lazily churning across the gap between the two areas of land before widening out again in the distance. Looking around, Twilight saw no way across other than the strip of water in front of her. Just like last time, the unicorn noted.
Satisfied, Twilight turned her attention to one of her dream’s new appearances. The group of ponies next to her still buzzed with conversation, but though Twilight got closer, she still wasn’t able to understand what they were saying, as if it were another language or just plain gibberish. However, they occasionally pointed to the sky, as if to make a point, and then resumed chattering.
“Hello?” Twilight paused for a moment, and then prodded the nearest pony, a yellow-ish earth pony with an orange mane and a carrot across her flank. However, the pony simply continued talking with her companion, paying Twilight no heed. The unicorn raised an eyebrow. She can’t possibly be ignoring me like that. “Hello?” she asked again, waving a hoof in front of the pony’s face. But the orange mare stood there, unfazed by Twilight’s efforts.
A thought crept into Twilight’s mind, despite this newfound confusion. “Can... can you hear me?” Another poke, and a wave. No response. “Can anyone hear me?” Twilight’s voice started to rise slightly. “Hello?! Anypony?!” she darted in between the group, poking, prodding, and even shaking everypony before her. Despite her valiant efforts, the group of ponies continued to look through Twilight as if she was air, or simply wasn’t there.
Defeated, Twilight slumped down outside of the group, ears flattened. “What is going on here? These dreams are getting more and more frustrating! I still don’t have any answers!”
Moping as she was, Twilight was oblivious to the rising volume of the conversation next to her. When she looked up again, the ponies were been shouting and pointing, not at the sky, but at the town across from them. What in Equestria... the unicorn walked to the edge of the cliff and peered across.
Narrowing her eyes, Twilight could make out new shapes that she hadn’t seen before. “Why didn’t I see these last time-” she cut herself off as the forms grew clearer. Not just any old shape, but those of other ponies. They stood on the edge of their cliff, shouting and waving to the ponies on the other side. Twilight’s side.
“Interesting.” was the bookworm’s only thought on the matter. At this point, Twilight was simply waiting for something to happen, anything that would give her answers. Standing there, an idea suddenly worked its way into her mind. What if... her eyes searched the ponies next to her, then the ones across from her, but she found none that she found familiar. She had almost dismissed the thought, until she had swept the other side, and locked eyes with the pony on the far right. A pegasus mare stared back, her prismatic mane somehow shining, and her cyan coat doing the same. The same pony Twilight had just stargazed with. Twilight blinked, shook her head, turned away and rubbed her eyes, but the pegasus was still there.
“Rainbow?” Twilight mouthed silently. Her blue friend only stared back, her expression blank. She gave no sign of recognition, her gaze still fixed on Twilight with those piercing, yet beautiful rose eyes of hers. The unicorn tried to look away, until she found she couldn’t. She was doing it again. Even from this distance, even in a dream, Twilight found Rainbow Dash as amazing as she had just that night. The way her mane fell across her face, the way those eyes, despite their odd lack of emotion, looked back at her, just everything about her almost made Twilight try and run to her without a second thought. Almost.
Twilight probably would have stared forever if the buzz and chatter next to her had not continued growing, until it invaded the unicorn’s thoughts. “Ugh...” she muttered, “what is it now?” Turning to the group beside her, she watched as they paced impatiently, stamping their hooves and taking frequent glances at the sky. Then one of them pointed at the sky excitedly, turning everypony’s attention to the area of blue above the ocean. Twilight was no exception. She turned to look at whatever it was that was causing this much excitement, and gasped.
A billowing mass of dark grey had settled between the two cliffs. The storm clouds rumbled ominously, which only managed to increase all of the waiting ponies’ apparent impatience. In this dream, however, the clouds did not spread across the sky. They remained over the strait of water, and as they had all collected in one, concentrated area, they seemed even more potent and fearful.
Another, louder rumble from the clouds managed to silence everypony around. Every breath was held, and every eye was on the clouds.
And again, it started to rain.
============
The rain relentlessly pounded into the water below, the torrents creating a sheet of water so thick, nothing could be seen past the waterfalls.
For the second time in two nights, Twilight’s dream had a knack for defying the laws of physics. Peering over the edge, the lavender pony was met with the sight of water rushing towards her, impossibly fast. In what seemed like a second, the ocean water surged upwards, filling the empty space about ten percent to the top. Two seconds, and it was twenty percent. Three seconds, thirty percent. Four seconds. Almost halfway to the top. A blink, and the water splashed right in front of Twilight’s eyes.
Twilight felt herself taking a step backwards, away from the newly formed deep blue. If there was one thing she had learned in these dreams, it was to fear the power of rain.
The rain continued its downpour, rushing into the ocean. Twilight, whose jaw had been slack and her mind blank during the downpour, now managed to form her first coherent thoughts. Oh, no! What if it keeps raining, and everything floods like in my last dream? The ocean water started to spill over the sides, lapping at Twilight’s hooves. She closed her eyes, turning away.
Just as Twilight was sure that she would experience her second dream flood, she heard a strange sound. Or rather, a lack thereof. The sound of rain splashing into the ocean had stopped. Risking a look, she noticed the odd absence of a blanket of rainwater in front of her; only the deep blue of the ocean, now level with the ground, remained.
Twilight put a hoof to her forehead, as if trying to process these recent events. “Okay... so this time, I didn’t die from a flood. The rain filled out the needed ocean water. Now what?” Fortunately, Twilight didn’t have to wait long.
The group of ponies next to Twilight erupted in cheer. Smiles, hugs, even dances had a part in their sudden celebration. As quickly as the party started, it stopped, and the ponies all took to the rowboats in front of them. Pushing and heaving the watercrafts, a collective sploosh signaled the start of their sailing expedition.
Twilight watched everypony set sail. Without even knowing why, her gaze fell and her ears drooped as she slumped to the ground. Why am I acting like this? she thought, suddenly embarrassed at the spectacle she was undoubtedly putting on. Why am I so sad that everypony left? Pondering for a moment, she thought of something.
...Can’t I go too?
“Wait for me...” Twilight called feebly, but of course nopony paid her any attention. They were too far out, even if they could actually see her, or hear her, or even acknowledge her existence.
The unicorn lay there, lost in thought and strange emotions, until she heard something from the other side. Sitting up, Twilight cocked an ear. The sounds of cheering responded from the other side.
The rowboats lay at the shore on the other side, somehow neatly docked of their own accord. The reunited ponies laughed and celebrated, as if they had been apart for far too long.
All except one.
Standing apart from the laughing crowd, Rainbow Dash looked exactly the same as before. Rooted to the spot, her rose eyes still stared across the ocean, her gaze boring right into Twilight.
The bookworm took all this in, taking a step back when she locked eyes with Dash again. Rainbow, why are you apart from them? Those ponies look so happy. It seems like you came here to be reunited with somepony, just like all the others. But who?
Twilight froze. She knew why her friend was still looking at her. Rainbow didn’t want to be reunited with just anypony.
She wanted Twilight to be with her.
Twilight stood there, at a loss for words, or thought for that matter. WIthout rational thinking to get in the way, emotion took over. Twilight ran frantically up and down the shore, looking for a way across. With her emotion in charge, her feelings were clear. She wanted to be close to Rainbow, so much closer than she was now. But how? she wondered, a thought that only grew as she failed to find a way to cross the ocean between them.
Eventually, Twilight heard her rapid hoofsteps on the sand slow. She stumbled face-first into the sand, coughing as she lifted her head. She felt a wetness claw at the bottom of her eyes, and it dripped down her cheeks, pooling in the sand right below her.
I’m sorry, Rainbow. I failed. But... I need you closer. So much closer...
=============================
Twilight’s eyes flew open. Her blankets clung to her, and beads of sweat dripped down her face, adding to the perspiration that already pooled into the covers and mattress. She felt a cool wetness coming from her eyes, which spilled over and down her face, creating a strange mix of sweat and tears.
Twilight clamped her eyes shut, hoping to delay the steady stream of tears. It didn’t work. They leaked out the edges of her eyes, and she let them come while she tried to catch her breath and calm her pounding heart.
Soon enough, her breathing slowed, and her heart calmed its thumping in her chest. With the rush and panic of her dream fading, she could start to think coherently again. Her eyes remained closed as she allowed herself to think.
What... what just happened?
Her dream journal. She had to write everything, lest she forget fragments of her dreams, or, even worse, clarity. Twilight’s horn glowed, and she floated her journal and quill over to her. Cracking an eye open only to flip to the next blank page, she closed her eyes again as she imagined what she would write. The quill in the air mimicked her thoughts perfectly.
Day 2
I had another dream, similar to the first one I had last night. This one, however, I can write down fully.
In this dream, I walked a great distance, to the same destination: a cliff with Ponyville across from it. Looking at this now, there appears to be some continuity between these two dreams. It seemed like this dream took place right after my last one. There were many bodies of water that must have been formed as a part of my last dream, as I’m pretty sure that they were rained on by the storm in the dream that I had last night.
That’s where the similarities ended. When I arrived, there were ponies standing on both sides of the cliff, the low ocean separating the two groups. The ponies on my side... no, nearly everpony in my dream acted like I didn’t exist. I tried many methods to get their attention, but nothing worked. Everypony seemed excited about something. Later, I found out what got them so worked up.
When I tried to see if there was anypony that I personally knew, I didn’t find anyone. Until I looked across to the other side, and found Rainbow Dash staring back at me. Twilight sighed happily, smiling when she recalled this particular moment.
Oh, she was just so... Beautiful. Now that I think about it, I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind ever since we stargazed just... -she stole a quick glance outside, seeing the stars and moon still hanging in the air- hours ago. How her mane falls across her face, her amazing eyes, the way she literally shone... Twilight sighed again, then gave her mind a mental kick.
But I’m off topic. After seeing Rainbow Dash in my dream, she only stared at me. No words exchanged, no attempt to start talking to me, nothing. It was as if she was expecting something from me.
After this, storm clouds gathered over the cliff that separated the two groups. It rained into the ocean until it was level with the two sides of the cliff.
Twilight paused, wondering why, exactly, this would reoccur in her dreams.
Maybe it rained to end the separation between the two areas of land? To reunite these people with their loved ones? Hm...
Back to the dream. After it stopped raining, most ponies were overjoyed, and took to their boats. Which were conveniently placed on our side of the cliff. They rowed across, and were reunited with the ponies they loved.
But why was I shown this? Why wasn’t I taken across the ocean? Rainbow Dash didn’t take part in the celebration, it seemed like she wanted me to go to her! And I wanted her, too! I wanted to be close to her, for her to comfort me, to hold me, to -
Twilight froze, her quill clattering to the ground as the magnitude of her written words finally started to sink in. Her eyes flew open for the second time, searching the page in the dim moonlight. All these strange new thoughts, the way she had seen Rainbow just that night and ever since, how much she had wanted her to be closer, how crushed she had been when she was denied that. Hesitantly, she lifted her quill to her journal again. There could be only one reason.
Am I... in love with Rainbow Dash?
She dotted her question mark at the end of her sentence, and immediately, the reasonable part of her mind broke out in protest. You can’t be in love with her, Twilight! You’d be crazy to! You’re an egghead, an antisocial bookworm, with absolutely no interest in what’s “cool,” you’d far sooner read a book on the history of Canterlot banking than even risk a stroll outside, and to top it all off, you’re both mares! Why in Equestria would she take an interest in you?
The hopeless romantic in her fired back. But it makes sense. Why then, would you ogle her, dream about her? Why else would you want to be so much closer to her? Like it or not, Twilight, but you’ve fallen hard for her. And in the course of one night, too... she could almost see this voice laughing bitterly, shaking its head. Twilight, that part of your mind has one thing right. You’re crazy.
Twilight shook her head vigorously, putting a hoof to it. She only now realized how her chest heaved with every breath, how her mane was glued to her forehead, sticky with perspiration. Not bothering to use magic, the purple mare leaned over the side of her bed. She groped for her journal and quill, which had been dropped sometime during the war between her conflicting thoughts. Seizing them after a few seconds of blind searching, she lifted them to eye level. Her horn glowed, enveloping the quill while she held the journal in her forelegs. Taking a deep breath, Twilight steadied herself before putting her quill to the page.
I... I think I do like Rainbow Dash. It would make a lot of sense, and perhaps give me some answers to these dreams I’ve had. If I just give this some thought.
I couldn’t reach her in my dream, even though I wanted to. I couldn’t take one of the rowboats, and it would be featherbrained for me to try and swim across.
The ocean is what separated us. I couldn’t get across it to reach her.
Of course I have to remember that dreams draw from my subconscious, often trying to send me a message. I’m sure that’s what’s going on here. So far, it’s made it clear enough that I have feelings for one of my friends. So what’s it trying to say when it separates the two of us in my dream?
Maybe... it’s showing that we’re separated in real life? Not necessarily by an ocean, of course.
...No, we’re not far apart from each other. We just stargazed a few hours ago, after all.
...Oh, I have no idea. Still so many questions I haven’t been able to answer.
I do think that she is the reason for my dreams, though. It’s nice to have at least one answer to all of my questions, although that in itself brings up a whole new set of questions. I can’t even bring myself to ask some of them. I’ll save it for another day. Hopefully I can get back to sleep and make this wait.
Twilight clamped the book shut, putting it back on her nightstand. Her quill followed suit, and she lay down again. Though she tried her best to slip back into sleep, her head swarmed with newly discovered thoughts and feelings. Eventually, the unicorn dreamed of cyan blue and rainbows.
With her eyes open.
===========
Another night ended as hints of light crept over the edges of the horizon. Assured that the time was right, the sun poked its head out.
Again, the sunbeams glared right into the eyes of a sleeping Spike. It was impossibly far away, yet it somehow possessed perfect aim. Spike stirred, grumbled, and rolled over, away from the intruding sunlight. To no avail, of course, as sleep would no longer take him. Promising himself to move his basket next time, the baby dragon started to climb out of bed. He didn’t have to, though, as a monstrous snort echoed through the library, coming from out of nowhere. Spike jumped and fell out of bed at the unexpected sound, quickly righting himself as he looked for the source. Another snort, and he turned towards Twilight’s bed. Sure enough, Twilight lay there, sprawled out on the covers, with her stomach down and her face buried in the pillow. Her forelegs wrapped around the cushion, and a thin stream of drool trickled from a corner of her open mouth. She let out another rumbling snore and shifted slightly in her sleep.
Spike smiled for a moment, seeing how odd Twilight looked in her new sleeping position. His smile faded, though, as he inspected his friend closely. Her cheeks were stained with something wet, something that glistened when the light angled itself correctly. Walking closer, Spike saw that the stains grew in size the closer they were to Twilight’s eyes.
Twilight was crying? But why?
Spike’s eyebrows furrowed as he went over yesterday’s events in his head. Twilight had woken up early, and she didn’t get much sleep yesterday. She seemed to be in a hurry after I cooked for her, and she locked herself in her room for the whole day, probably to study all those books she had with her.
Now, she looks like she was crying last night. The baby dragon saw how the tear stains tried, and failed, to mask the heavy circles under Twilight’s eyes. And it doesn’t look like she slept a lot last night either.
Spike had known Twilight for a long time, second only to her parents. He knew when something was wrong. Living with a pony for many years had that kind of effect.
...Something’s on her mind. Something, that she’s not telling me. Sighing, Spike turned to leave the room. With a final, worried glance back at the snoring pony, he closed the door behind him, preparing to make an extra cup of coffee for that day’s breakfast.
=========
Twilight opened one eye, and was promptly met by a blinding beam of light. A grumble, a groan, and she was sitting upright on her bed, rubbing her eyes. She stumbled out of bed, drawn out of her room by the smell of coffee drifting from the kitchen. The purple pony inhaled deeply, sighing at the wonderful aroma as she nudged open the door. Still in her morning haze, her eyes were not on the set of stairs in front of her, and as she put forward a hoof, it only met thin air. She tried to correct herself, but her weight had been shifted too far forward. Twilight felt herself falling, before slamming into the first stair. The momentum sent her tumbling head over hooves into the next stair, a vicious cycle that continued until she landed in a heap at the bottom of the stairs.
“Twilight? Twilight?!”
Twilight opened her eyes to see a very worried Spike staring down at her. “Spike?” she tried to say, but it came out as more of a “Unnhh.”
“Twilight, what happened? Did you fall down the stairs?”
The fallen pony only groaned again.
Spike shook his head. “Yeah, I could tell from all the crashing noises and the cries of pain.” His eyes went to something above Twilight’s head, and he gave something there a light push. The unicorn felt her weight shift. Something landed on the floor with a dull thud, which Twilight realized was her aching rump, along with the rest of her.
Twilight then realized how silly she must have looked, lying face-first on the floor. “I really should be more careful, shouldn’t I?”
“Yep.” Spike was now peering at Twilight, causing her to shift uncomfortably. “Say, Twilight...”
“Yes?”
Spike narrowed his eyes at his friend for a moment longer, before shaking his head, apparently having second thoughts. “...Never mind. Breakfast is ready.”
At the mention of food, Twilight perked up, forgetting about Spike’s strange behavior. “Great!” She followed Spike into the kitchen, at once reminded where that wonderful smell of coffee was coming from.
=======
Breakfast, however, was the last thing on Spike’s mind. Aside from Twilight’s incident with the stairs just moments ago, she appeared to be acting the same as she always was. She had fallen down the stairs before, after all. Even though previous occurrences usually involved a lack of light, or otherwise understandable circumstances.
They sat on opposite ends of Twilight’s simple wooden table. Though this was how they always sat during breakfast, Spike made especially sure of this today. On the table lay a steaming pot of coffee, along with two bowls heaped with oatmeal.
Spike dug into his oatmeal right away, but always kept a lookout for the pony across from him. Twilight, as he had expected, had poured a steaming mug of coffee, hastily downing the whole thing in a matter of seconds. However, her enthusiasm for the oatmeal was a different matter. She occasionally poked at it, stirring it with her spoon, but sometimes forgot even that, simply staring at it for minutes on end. The whole time, her eyes were narrowed, her brow furrowed, and Spike could almost see the gears turning in her head.
On one such staring-into-space session, Spike had finished off the last of his own oatmeal. He looked up and saw Twilight staring blankly at her bowl, her oatmeal still untouched (and definitely ice-cold). Spike looked at the clock exactly fifty-three times after that, in which five minutes had ticked by. He turned back to Twilight, and saw that she hadn’t moved a muscle, her gaze still cast downwards and her mind still Celestia-knows-where. That was it. Something was definitely on her mind.
“Twilight?” Spike asked, hoping to snap her out of whatever she was so lost about. Twilight gave no sign of hearing him. “Twilight?!” Louder this time. “Twilight!” he now shouted.
“Aah! What? What’s going on? What did I do?” Twilight snapped to attention, her pupils tiny pinpricks.
Spike sighed again, deciding to be blunt. “Twilight, are you okay?”
“Wh-what? Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be?” she added with a nervous chuckle.
The baby dragon only crossed his arms and frowned at his friend, narrowing his eyes. When Twilight withered under his glare, he spoke up. “You haven’t been getting much sleep for the past two nights, you locked yourself in your room all day yesterday, I saw the tear stains under your eyes this morning, and now you’ve been staring into space this past five minutes!” He sighed again. “Look, Twilight, I’m worried about you. Something’s on your mind, and you’re not telling me what it is.”
During Spike’s list of claims against her, the librarian had been shrinking into herself with every point he made. Now, she looked every bit the trapped animal. An eternity of silence passed between them before Twilight finally spoke up, her gaze fixed to the floor. “I can’t tell you.” she nearly whispered. She kept her eyes to the ground before feeling an arm touch her shoulder. Turning, she saw Spike, who stared back for a moment before smiling reassuringly.
“Twilight, you can tell me anything. You know that. You trust me, don’t you?”
Twilight looked at Spike for a moment longer before tearing herself away. “I do... but I can’t tell you this. I’m sorry, but I just can’t.”
At this, Spike didn’t glare at Twilight, or shake his head in dismay, or anything Twilight expected. He only nodded, adding, “If you say so. But just remember, I’ll always be here if you need help, okay?”
Twilight drew Spike into a hug. “I’ll remember. And... thanks for this.”
Spike returned the embrace. “Anytime, Twilight.”
==============
Twilight sat at her desk, her tail flicking absently. The window next to her gave a generous panorama of Ponyville and beyond, usually something she would stop to admire for a second. Usually, but not today. She had long grown tired of pacing around her room, and the rhythm of her hoofsteps against the wooden floor had become a reminder. They were too similar to the rhythm of her hoofsteps crossing flatlands in her dreams, dreams that kept her from the one pony she so wanted to be closer to.
A heap of books rested to Twilight’s right, tossed and left right where they landed. One of these books was titled in large red print, and read: Confusion: Sorting Out Your Feelings.
All of those books had been forgotten. Instead, Twilight had her dream journal in front of her, hastily scribbling into it.
All of the books on the topic of romance in my library essentially say the same thing:
You must first confirm that, in fact, you have romantic feelings for somepony.
After this, you must get closer to them. Show them that you care about them, in any way that you can think of.
Most importantly, you must tell them about your feelings. No matter what, you can’t let this just be something that hangs in the back of your mind.
Also, you must remember that they may not always return your feelings. You must be prepared for this, and be ready to move on, no matter how difficult.
I am mostly sure that I am in love with Rainbow Dash. If “having romantic feelings for somepony” means that you find them attractive, that you want them to be closer to you, to hold and comfort you, and that you can’t get them out of your mind, among other things, then yes, I do have romantic feelings for her.
But how do I get closer to her, much less tell her my feelings? In my dreams, we’re so far apart. The two of us are separated, with no way to get across to each other. This would be less of a problem if I knew how this applied to our real-life situation. Are we really so far apart? Is there really something that’s keeping us from getting closer? If so, what is it? How can I get rid of this... this ocean that’s between us? What if -
“Twilight?” a voice sounded right behind her. Twilight yelped and whirled, clutching her journal to her chest.
“Spike?! W-why did you sneak up on me?!” Twilight nearly screamed. Not only had Spike scared her out of her fur, he had almost seen her journal. Not something she planned on letting anyone look through anytime soon.
If Spike had seen Twilight’s journal, he was quite good at not showing it. “Well, you usually come downstairs for dinner on your own. Dinner’s been ready for a while now, and you still haven’t showed up. And I didn’t sneak up on you. You always leave your door unlocked, so I figured that I can walk in at any time,” Spike added with a shrug.
“Oh. Uh, thanks I guess.” Twilight said, putting her journal back onto its rightful place on her nightstand. “Now that you mention it, I am pretty hungry...” she murmured, more to herself as she walked out the door.
Spike stayed behind for a moment. His eyes went to the small book on Twilight’s nightstand. She did seem like she didn’t want anyone to see that. Could that be where i can find out about what’s bothering her? Though he respected Twilight’s privacy, his curiosity was about as strong. Spike stared for a second longer, before shaking his head. “You can’t do that, Spike! That would be invading Twilight’s personal space!” His mind made up, Spike left the room, but not before one final glance at that little black book.
===========
Twilight raised a hoof to her half-eaten daisy sandwich. She knew she should be eating, especially with her lack of sleep. Her stomach had even complained a few times before she had sat down to dinner. And yet, the thought of taking another bite didn’t seem to be too appealing. Instead, her mind preferred to wander, taking her mind away from the meal.
Spike looked up from his diminishing stack of gems when he heard a clattering coming from the sink. Twilight had gotten up at some point, and Spike raised an eyebrow when he saw Twilight move towards the trashcan, her half-eaten daisy sandwich in her magical grasp. “Uh, Twilight? What are you doing?”
Twilight stopped. “Oh, uh, I’m not that hungry,” she lied. Her mind still insisted on directing her thoughts to a subject she had thought about quite often over the last twenty-four hours. “I’m... just going to go to bed now. I haven’t gotten much sleep lately, after all.” She yawned to emphasize her point. “Good night, Rai- I mean Spike.” she quickly caught herself. Did I almost say ‘Rainbow Dash?’ Oh, what’s coming over me?
“Okay, Twilight. Good night.” Spike responded. He watched Twilight retreat to her bedroom. A thought nagged at him. What did she almost call me? He tried to shrug it off, but it continued to stick in his head. Almost as if he were so close to figuring out what was bothering his friend, but it wasn’t quite there yet.
=======
Sleep seemed to be an escape. Where emotions could be sorted out and answers to questions could be explored, without interruption or interference.
Twilight opened her eyes, scrambling to all four hooves when she saw only grass and water around her. The water still filled every hole, and the grass still stretched in every direction, except to Twilight’s right, where it transitioned into a beach that overlooked the ocean.
The grass cut a clear path to the ocean, and Twilight immediately set her hooves on the trail. This time, however, her steps faltered every now and again, no longer falling into the rhythmic clop of hooves upon grass. With every hesitant step, new doubts invaded the unicorn’s thoughts.
Why are you so eager to dream every night? came the question from her ever-inquisitive mind.
“Because I think that this is the only way I’ll ever find anything out,” she responded to herself.
Do you really think so? And what, exactly, have you found out so far?
Twilight stopped dead. “Uh... well, I... I’ve found out that there’s a big ocean that’s separating me and Rainbow Dash?”
The purple mare could almost hear her mind blow out its cheeks in an exasperated sigh. That’s very well and all, but do you know what that means? What anything else in these dreams mean?
“Um... Well... no.” she finally admitted, hanging her head.
Exactly. So tell me again why you want to have these dreams so badly? When all they’ve given you are questions and ideas clouded in mystery?
Twilight sighed. “Because... these dreams are what started this... this mess in the first place!” She only realized then how silly she must have looked, shouting at herself in the middle of a heated argument with her own thoughts. In a quieter voice, she continued. “It seems like they can give me answers, if I study them enough. And you’re not being any help! You’re my mind, and this dream comes from my mind. So why aren’t you telling me anything?!”
Her mind fell silent for a moment. Just when Twilight thought she was getting a response, it simply said: You’re here.
“Wh-what? What kind of answer is tha-aah!” Twilight flinched when she felt a wetness soaking into her hooves. Looking down, she saw the whitewash of the ocean lapping at her hooves, rippling at the shore, before retreating. Apparently, she had been so engrossed in her self-conversation, she had failed to pay attention to her surroundings, even when the rustle of grass had faded into the mini-crunch of sand.
The same place as before. Ponyville across the water, still within clear sight. Again, ponies gathered on either side, and again, Twilight’s heart skipped a beat when she caught sight of a striking cyan pegasus on the other side. Again, the same blank stare from her. No sign of anything glaringly out of place compared to Twilight’s previous dreams.
The unicorn noted the way the ocean stayed level with the land, and the calm rhythm of waves crashing against the beach. “Looks like there isn’t going to be any rain this time,” she thought aloud, glancing to where the ponies on her side gathered. Behind them lay a dozen or so rowboats, faced towards the endless sea and eager to start their journey. Another glance, this one directed to the sky, assured Twilight that this dream would bring forth no more rain. Her attention was brought back to the water as a unified splash sounded on the shore. For the second time, these ponies had started their sail home. All the rowboats had been taken again, or so Twilight thought. Watching the ponies start their sail home, her gaze flicked absently to the shore in front of her. Immediately, her eyes widened.
Directly in front of her, a rowboat floated lazily in the shallow shore water. Twilight glanced around to see if anypony was simply late to get in their boat. The beach had been deserted, and when Twilight looked back at the boat, her boat, it still floated there, as if invisibly anchored.
She took slow steps to the waiting boat, the seawater sinking into the bottoms of her hooves before she stood next to her vessel. The rowboat proudly sported two wooden slats for seating, enough to fit around four ponies. Two oars, one on each side, were kept in place by small rings that wrapped around their middle.
One awkward boarding later, which involved slight splashing and flailing, Twilight sat in the boat. She stared at the oars, realizing her lack of experience in rowing a boat would probably hinder her journey. A moment longer and she remembered that she wasn’t going anywhere. “Well, here I go...” Hoping that basic principles of physics would apply to rowing a boat, she grasped the oars in her magic. They rotated in their rings, rising out of the water before falling back in again. The oars thrust themselves backwards in the water, sending the tiny vessel the smallest bit forward. Even so, Twilight noticed that she had been set in motion. She smiled, thanking Celestia that laws of physics still applied to dream boat-rowing. “I’m on my way, Rainbow,” she murmured before lifting the oars out of the water again.
========
This new rhythm was something that Twilight could get used to. The slight splash of the oars rising out of the water, the creak of the paddles against the boat as they twisted in the air, another splash as the oars eased back into the deep blue, and the soft rush of the water, propelling the little vessel the slightest bit forward before the cycle began once more.
Twilight found herself gazing into the water, the ocean casting a rippling shadow of herself back to her, before the oars broke the surface and blurred Twilight’s reflection beyond recognition.
She leaned back into the boat and sighed. Was everyone else’s journey so long? Did they row this far? How far did they row, exactly? How long had she been rowing? How could she tell? Twilight’s eyes scanned the horizons, searching for any sign that she was closer. She froze, her hair standing on end as she saw her destination. But Ponyville seemed to have drifted farther away, the distant shape of the cone-topped town hall being the only indication that the town still stood there.
A quick sweep of her surroundings, but no other land presented itself. Twilight’s mind reeled. Just when she thought she could finally get across the ocean that had always plagued her dreams with separation, here it was again. And the distance seemed farther than ever before, certainly much too far to row.
Twilight slumped on the edge of the tiny vessel, defeated. She felt her balance shift, and too late, she realized her mistake. A mistake that couldn’t be corrected. Her boat tipped, tipped too far, sending its only occupant over the side.
Time slowed to a crawl. The fall couldn’t be more than a foot from the boat to the ocean. And yet, Twilight felt herself falling for miles. For hours on end, the water shifting to accept her. Less than a foot until impact. Inches. Fractions of an inch. As she hovered above the water for a moment, Twilight could have sworn that the ocean had been a deep, dark blue a second ago. Not the cyan blue that it was now.
She closed her eyes and hit the water.
============
Twilight felt herself come to without opening her eyes. The gasping for air, the sweat-soaked covers, the hot tears that dripped down her face, were all things that she had come to expect.
Her dream was firmly rooted in her mind, and refused to leave. The crushing defeat that had followed her firm hope now came back with full force. Twilight rolled over, burying her face into her pillow. Though she had already been crying, she was now sure that the tears had only just begun. I hope that Spike is a heavy sleeper... she thought before the tears started to flow.
She sobbed openly into her pillow, her mind full of the impossibly large separation, of no way to get across, no way to be so much closer. Her need to be closer was nothing in comparison to the mass of water between them. The clarity of her dreams made it seem so real, and in every one, the distance between them always seemed to grow. Now, it seemed there was no way to cross this distance.