Twilight sat tied to the chair, considering her options. Under normal circumstances, she’d simply use her magic to overcome the dark forces that had kidnapped her. But the magic charm – she refused to call it the Earth Pony Amulet – prevented her from doing that. Still, she’d faced enemies before without magic.
Maybe her friends would rescue her? They’d done it before. But, nopony knew she was here.
Maybe the other princesses? Again, they didn’t know she was here. Plus the amulet would interfere with a tracking spell.
Time for her back-up plan. She would – befriend her captors. Once they were friends, they were sure to release her and everything would end happily ever after.
Really? Really? How come the crimes of the villains are always forgiven? Celestia went easy on Luna because they’re sisters. But why did she go easy on Discord? I know she said she had use for Discord’s magic, but was that ever explained? Why would a princess who can literally move the sun need a guy running around who can pull all sorts of crap? Then there’s Starlight. She was dictator of a whole town, yet everything was easily forgiven. Even Thorax became a member of society after a sappy song. Won’t we get an episode where the villain is punished? Come on, is that too much to ask? Sorry for my rant. Back to the story.
Twilight began formulating her plan. First, she would need to find some common ground. Well, Belle likes books, so that could be a start.
Really, isn’t it obvious? I’m sure all of you saw that coming. Come on, can’t the author come up with something more creative? But then again, have you ever heard of Occam’s Razor? And besides, Simplicity is one of the Principles of War. That’s right, Twilight is going to war against the Disney Princesses! “Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs of war.” Go get’em Equestria Girls Spike! And Winona.
Belle could be the key to convincing the other princesses. Yes, looks like this plan –
Twilight heard a massive commotion coming from the next room. There where bangs, and thuds, and screams. It sounded like – a fight.
After the commotion died down, the door slowly opened. In walked a gray pony with a black mane. “Are you okay Princess?” he asked.
“Yes, but who are you?”
“My name’s Machina – Detective Deus ex Machina. I’m here to rescue you.”
“How did you find me?” asked the astonished princess.
“Oh, a professional never reveals the tricks of the trade. Let’s just say it wasn’t as hard as you might think.”
After untying her, the two walked out into the next room to find the rest of the mane six, plus Starlight Glimmer and the other Equestrian Princesses. The Disney princesses all sat in a group, tied up with a lasso.
“Ah’m glad we wrangled these varmits,” said Applejack.
Finally, a cameo by the best pony ever! Don't deny it. Admit you're all secretly Applejack fans at heart! Even check out this great video:
Cinderella said, “We would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids and your dog too!”
“Hey, I’m a dragon, not a dog,” said Spike.
“Yeah, whatever.”
“So now what?” asked Twilight.
Detective Machina explained, “Well, the Disney corporate executives have disavowed any knowledge of your actions. You all have been stripped of your titles, rendering you mere commoners.”
“No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” yelled the princesses.
“You all will be sent to a juvenile detention facility, except for you who are adults, who will be sent to a hard-core prison. Not like that country club Martha Stewart went to. More like The Shawshank Redemption, except without the escape. But don’t fear, the Disney Princess line will continue. May I introduce the newest Disney princesses….”
In walked Vanellope von Schweetz; Nala; Princess Eilonwy from The Black Cauldron; Princess Sofia; Princess Elena; Princess Star Butterfly; Princess Kiara; Princess Giselle; Princess Kida; Princesses Attina, Alana, Adella, Aquata, Arista, and Andrina; Princess Melody; Princesses Ting-Ting, Su and Mei; Princess Atta; Princess Kilala; and Princess Leia.
So, wasn't that the best story ever! Come on, Homer, Shakespeare, Dickens, Twain, Hemmingway... none of them could have ever crafted such a great story! Way better than anything those losers ever wrote! They couldn't have written such a masterpiece even if they all sat around a table (with heavy booze) all night. But I digress. Now is the time to scroll up to the top and hit the like button. You should have done that in Chapter 1, so if you're only doing it now - shame on you!!! If you did in Chapter 1, virtual high-five!
Well, here we are at the end. I hope you enjoyed this little bit of chaos. But, I have a shocking confession to make. I didn’t actually write this story. I heard all your screams of "No!" I imagine it went something like this:
I’m sorry I misled you. I hope you can forgive me from the bottom of your hearts. But now that it’s over, it’s time I give credit where credit is due. So without further ado, I give you the author. Please come out and take a bow, Discord.
The End
The End?