The scream was bone-chilling.
One second, Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, was happily reading a book on the finer points of large scale production technology, the next she was scrambling to her hooves, galloping as fast as she could to the bathroom from where she had heard the familiar voice.
When she flung the door open, she was confronted by her beloved wife, Rarity, frantically searching through the cupboard below the sink while feverishly muttering to herself.
"Rarity? What happened?", Twilight called. She had noticed Rarity's makeup running, dragging black lines from her eyes over her cheek, a clear sign that the unicorn had been crying.
When Rarity noticed Twilight standing in the doorway, she stopped in the middle of her search. Slowly, fearfully, she turned around, and when she saw her wife, her lip started quivering and her eyes filled with tears.
"Nooo! You cannot see me like this! I am hideous!" Rarity tried in vain to close the door with her magic, but Twilight held strong.
At this pitiful sight, Twilight stepped inside the room, quickly moving over to her wife and drawing her in a hug. "Shh", she whispered, rubbing her hooves over Rarity's back, kissing her cheek. "You are not hideous. You are beautiful and I love you."
"Look at this", Rarity screeched, grasping a strand of her hair for Twilight to see. "Grey! My hair is turning grey!" She wrapped her hooves around Twilight, sobbing all the while. "You have to divorce me! A princess cannot be seen with an old hag like me!"
Twilight leaned in, examining the strand of hair carefully. She lifted her hoof and nudged the offending grey patch.
"A princess should be with someone who can support her! Soon I will be brittle and weak, and you will have to take care of me all the time..."
"Rarity..."
"You have to start searching for someone who can replace me. I know for a fact that there are dozens of mares who will salivate at the thought of having you for themselves..."
"Rarity?"
"It will break my heart into a thousand little pieces, but I simply cannot burden you any longer. I will..."
"Rarity!" Twilight had to raise her voice to draw her wife's attention, but she succeeded. "This is paint. We passed by the northern gate earlier, and they are painting over a crack in the ceiling!" As proof, she raised her hoof, which had some grey flaky dust drifting of it.
For a moment, Rarity went quiet. She looked at the hoof, at her mane, at the hoof again and finally at Twilight.
"Just paint?" She asked cautiously.
Twilight nodded.
"I am not old?"
This time, Twilight sighed. "Rarity, you are four hundred and sixteen years old. That would probably qualify you as "ancient": But even if you were still mortal, there is no way I would ever replace you." She moved her head forward slowly and brushed her lips over Rarity's. "And now, love, go to bed." A mischievous grin spread over her muzzle. "Old mares need their sleep."
Rarity hit her over the head with a hairbrush.