//------------------------------// // Hostage // Story: The Disney Princesses Meet Princess Twilight Sparkle // by Dreadnought //------------------------------// Twilight groaned, her head pounding like never before in her life. Opening her eyes, the blurry scene slowly came into focus. She was surrounded by several young ladies. “Hello?” A girl screamed and swung a frying pan at her…. Sorry I have no smart-ass comment. I wrote this tiny subsection while I was rested and wide awake. Most of this story I wrote in my head while I was lying in bed with insomnia. Yeah, insomnia sucks. But one does come up with the strangest story ideas. Like my one-shot Pinkie Pie Has the Bomb. I came up with that late one night while I was trying to go to sleep. Same with my story Cutie Mark Fail. Strange thing is, I never used to have insomnia. But over the last couple of years, I've had immense trouble getting to sleep. My doctor thinks my service in the military is driving my insomnia. I think he's onto something. *** Twilight slowly came to, her head throbbing even worse than before. It was as if she had pounded her head against a concrete wall for hours, before putting it in a doorframe and slamming the door shut repeatedly. Or, put another way: She hated to open her eyes again, fearing yet another whack from a frying pan. But she knew she’d have to eventually, so she gingerly opened her eyes, to find she was surrounded by a gang of young girls. A blonde swung a frying pan at her, but was stopped mid-swing by an Asian girl. “Enough Rapunzel!” yelled another blonde. “But Cinderella!” whined the girl wielding the frying pan. Yeah, she should really be restrained. She’s gonna kill somebody one of these days with that thing. But since she’s a princess, she’ll get away with it. Not like the rest of us. What gives them the right to rule anyways? Yeah, they received the whole royalty thing because they were born into it. But why should there be royalty at all? Where did it all start? I never really understood until it was explained to me in this educational film: Twilight began to recognize her captors – Snow White (who looked far younger than her age of 94), Cinderella (the apparent ringleader of this posse), Aurora (who kept dozing off), Ariel, Belle (who had a bag full of books next to her), Jasmine, Pocahontas, Mulan (who was omniously sharpening her swords), Tiana, and Rapunzel (who for some reason had long, blonde hair again). These were the Disney princesses, only missing Anna, Elsa, Moana, Merida, Vanellope von Schweetz, Nala, and Eilonwy from The Black Cauldron. Not to mention the minor princesses, such as Princess Sofia; Princess Elena; Princess Star Butterfly; Princess Kiara; Princess Giselle; Princess Kida; Princesses Attina, Alana, Adella, Aquata, Arista, and Andrina; Princess Melody; Princesses Ting-Ting, Su and Mei; Princess Atta; Princess Kilala; and Princess Leia (we miss you Carrie). Wow that’s a lot of princesses! I mean, I know that monarchies have been the traditional form of government for most of history (Most countries had monarchies, and some still do. Even ancient Rome and Athens had monarchies at times. Some monarchies ended quietly, while others not so much, looking to you France). But how come we don’t see more presidents, senators, prime ministers, etc.? What’s wrong with the hero of a Disney film living in a republic? Really, can any of you readers explain it to me? I will give anyone who can provide a satisfactory answer a big, virtual, high-five. Also a bro-hoof bump. So, any takers? “Why did you kidnap me?” asked Twilight. Cinderella turned to Twilight. “Isn’t it obvious?” Twilight, unsure of what was implied, replied, “No.” “You are a threat to us princesses.” “I am? Wait a minute, not all of you are princesses.” “Corporate says Mulan is. And yes. You are a popular princess on a successful TV series. None of us had that –” A voice from the group interuppted, “Actually –” “Shutup Meg – I mean Ariel! As I was saying, you are a princess on a successful TV series. Now you are making a movie that can rival ours. We stood by as Anastasia was made. Then we didn’t take Shrek seriously.” “Your overconfidence is your weakness,” smugly replied Twilight. Star Wars! It's a Star Wars reference. I called it. “Hey, we own Star Wars now!" Damn it Cinderella. I already pointed that out! "We will not make the same mistake again. We will not tolerate another non-Disney princess.” “What about Princess Mononoke?” asked Twilight slyly. “Oh, her time is coming. But first, we must deal with you,” said Cinderella firmly. Twilight paused to think about the princess’s declaration. “Wow. I know I should be terrified, but I’m actually kind of flattered. You think enough of me and my movie to kidnap me and threaten my life.” “Why isn’t she more frightened?” asked Tiana. “It's rather simple. You’re forgetting that I’ve studied magic all my life. I’ve taken on Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, Tirek, Sunset Shimmer, and Starlight Glimmer and won. None of you can do magic.” Twilight focused and tried to teleport, but nothing happened. “Wait! Why can’t I do magic?” “Simple,” explained Jasmine. “I had my friend Genie make an amulet that prevents you from doing magic. It’s like the Alicorn Amulet, but in reverse. He calls it the Earth Pony Amulet.” “Hey!” exclaimed Twilight. “Earth ponies have magic too.” Cinderella laughed. “Unicorns can do spells. Pegasi can fly. What can earth ponies do?” “I haven’t exactly figured that out. But they do have magic, whatever that may be.” “Well, we’re going to determine what to do with you so you’ll never threaten us again.” Dun-Dun-Dunnnn! Things don't look good for Twilight. What will happen? Will she be killed? Will she be rescued? Will Timmy be pulled out of that well? Read it next time. Same Dreadnought time! Same Dreadnought channel! Wow! I really need to get a good night's rest!