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// King Sombra, Resurrected. Mrs. Cake. Slap, Slap, Kiss. 
// Story: Super Gypsy Lord Admiral Nyronus Shachza Shouldn't Write Shipfics, Volume II 
// by TheGypsyBard 
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Once upon a time there was a very evil pony. His name was King Sombra and is widely regarded to have been a bad dude. But then he got fucking blown up. Pretty fucking metal really. Another time there was a woman named Mrs. Cake who was caught in a loveless marriage she didn't want to be in. So when the kids were finally out to college, Ms. Cake filed for divorce.

One day, while she was in Venison, Bitaly, having sexual relations with an Italian stallion, she got an urgent telegram from her ex-husband

Kids kidnapped. Please hurry back. miss you.

She hurried back to find that the evil king Sombra had come back to life and was indeed holding Pumpkin and Poundcake hostage at evil red glowy horn point.

"Hey, fuck face, get away from my kids."

Sombra looked up. He was entranced by the E X T R A   T H I C C earth pony mare. Like you thought Derpy had a fat ass? This Fergilicious MILF had thighs for days.

Cupcake took the opportunity while he was distracted to sit on his face, smothering him. Unfortunately, he liked it. So she just beat him up instead. Unfortunately, he liked that too. So she started jogging up and down stairs to build better body mass so she could beat him up harder until it was no longer fun. But it turns out he really likes stairs as well. She even tried getting into that hippy dippy new age crystal healing shit. No dice.

She just couldn't shake him. Finally, she figured out the one thing he couldn't stand: being in a normal healthy relationship. So she married him, and it was absolute hades. God, that's really fucked up if you think about it.

But I mean you're reading this story so what did you expect?