Monday Morning
As the group of friends made their way down the sidewalk, Starlight held back a little, contemplating.
Sunday went well for Starlight. Sunset took her around the town to see new sights, which was fun, and that evening’s slumber party with all her friends had a special surprise: Juniper Montage. The teen girl had truly turned over another leaf, taking on a second job and trying harder at school.
“And it's all thanks to you,” she had said as she tightly hugged Starlight. Looking around, Juniper leaned in and whispered, “This is actually my very first slumber party,” right into Starlight's ear.
“It's mine too,” Starlight had whispered back, and the two shared a giggle of excitement.
The rest of the night went as Starlight expected, lots of games and snacks and laughter. A few of the games felt immature, but Starlight had looked past it as just being part of the event. Starlight thought they would be up most of the night, but they had to turn in early to be ready for school the next day, as well as wake up early enough to fix a breakfast big enough for nine people. Getting all of them awake and moving had been a challenge, but they were up and all headed towards school. Juniper had said her goodbyes ealier, as she had to catch a bus back into the city to her own school.
“Hey,” a voice said nudging her from her thoughts. Starlight looked up to see Sunset walking beside her. “You know, with everything else that happened, we never did get a chance to talk about your problems with Twilight.”
“What problems?” Starlight asked in confusion, trying to think back.
“Something about you messing up, and you were convinced Twilight wouldn't forgive you.”
“Oh, that.” The rest of their friends were walking a ways ahead of them, just out of what Starlight hoped was earshot. She bit the inside of her cheek as she considered telling Sunset, then relinquished with a sigh. “So, I might have, sort of... used my magic to brainwash our friends.” Starlight looked away so she wouldn't have to see the anger and judgement on her friend’s face.
“Really?” Sunset asked, surprise instead of anger evident in her voice. Starlight nodded, still afraid to look at her. “Mind control magic is pretty tricky stuff.” Sunset continued after giving a low whistle. “What spell did you use?”
“Something new I created using a bunch of different spells. I didn't name it, but it basically suppressed their personalities while making them want to do whatever I asked them to.”
“Wow, that's some powerful stuff. What made you go and use something like that?” Starlight risked a glance at her, but there was only surprise mixed with a bit of curiosity on her face.
“I was trying to impress Twilight by getting all the friendship lessons she had assigned me done in one day. I asked my friends for help, but instead of working with me, they all wanted to do the lessons their way. Then they all started arguing with each other, and, well, I panicked.” Starlight rubbed the back of her neck as a guilty flush spread over her features. “Okay, I... also wanted to do the lessons my way... and I might have completely missed the point of those lessons as well. I wasn't trying to brainwash them, just... make them more cooperative. But, in this case ‘more cooperative’ just means ‘less likely to talk back’.” Starlight heaved a great sigh, an inescapable hint of fear of what Sunset would say worming its way into her.
“You brainwashed your friends to do your homework?”
“Yeah, like I said, I'm not proud of it at all.”
The two continued in silence; The longer the silence stretched the worse Starlight felt.
“Is that all?”
“What do you mean is that all?” Starlight was surprised by the amount of anger in her response. Sunset winced at her reaction.
“No, sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just... the way you were acting, I thought you forced them to do your laundry and chores or something. Or made them do something embarrassing or dangerous. I mean, you do remember that I brainwashed my whole school to become my private army to conquer Equestria, right?”
“Oh,” Starlight said, considering that for a few more steps. “I guess I kinda did.”
“Not to mention I tried to kill Twilight and her friends that one time... my point is that I've done things way worse than some poorly thought out magic use, and Twilight didn't just forgive me, she became my best friend. Look, after what you told me the other night, I get why you might be scared Twilight is still mad at you. You're scared she's going to give up on you, not just as a teacher, but as a friend as well.”
“Yeah,” Starlight confessed, surprised as that seemed to slightly lessen the tension in her back. “I'm scared to be alone again. I can't lose another friend, especially if it was my fault I drove them away.”
“Look, I've been trying to think of what I can say to make you feel better, but I'm not Twilight. I can't think of some magical friendship speech to make everything better. But I can do this.” Sunset reached out and rested her hand on Starlight's shoulder, drawing the girl’s attention to her. The two stopped walking and faced each other. “No matter what happens, no matter what you do, I'll always be here for you Starlight. After everything I've done, I have no right to judge you, there's nothing you could do that would drive me away, trust me. You're my friend, and you always will be.” Sunset hesitated a moment when she saw Starlight eyes start to fill with tears, but she kept going.
“I know that no matter what, Princess Twilight will always forgive you and be there for you, just like she was for me. But I also understand why you might not always believe that, even if you know it's true, so I want you to know you always have a place here with me.”
“Here with us,” Twilight cut in, causing Starlight and Sunset to jump. The two looked over to see the other six girls had stopped with them and moved into hearing distance. Starlight looked between their smiling, welcoming faces with eyes filled with tears, confusion barely covering up the slow sense of joy and acceptance filling her.
“W-why?” Starlight stammered out. “We barely know each other, yet you all trust me that much?”
“Aw shucks, sugarcube,” Applejack said as she pushed her hat out of her eyes. “The way you rescued us from that dang mirror, don't even think of it.” The rest of her friends voiced their agreement with the farm girl.
“Did you eavesdrop on everything we've been saying?” Sunset asked with worry, knowing that Starlight wouldn't want everyone to know what she had done.
“Why, of course not, that would be rather rude of us,” Rarity exclaimed with some displeasure, obviously hurt at the implication of snooping. “But can you blame us if we were? You two have been keeping secrets from us all weekend.”
“I know,” Starlight spoke up. “And I'd be just as curious as the rest of you, but it's something I need to come to terms with on my own before I can share. I hope you can understand.”
“I know I can,” Twilight said, as she reached out to squeeze her arm.
“Of course we understand, darling,” Rarity said, looking a bit admonished for her earlier peevishness. “As Applejack said, we really do owe you so much.”
“Yeah,” Fluttershy spoke up. “I don't even want to think about what would have happened to us if you hadn't been there.”
“You girls don't owe me anything, I know you would have done the same for me. That's what friends do for each other, right?”
“Right,” Sunset said, making Starlight laugh by giving her a friendly jab on the arm. “And that includes your friends in Equestria.”
“I really don't know what to say, everyone. This... this really means a lot to me.” Starlight finally felt her pooling tears spill over cheeks. “I haven't felt like this since Twilight offered to make me her student.”
“Aw, don't be silly, Starlight Glimmer,” Pinkie Pie said as she scooped her up into a powerful hug. “Friends are supposed to make you laugh, not cry.”
“Oof, Pinkie, please!” Starlight gasped out as everyone else laughed, then joined in to make it a group hug.
This went on for a while, too long for Starlight's taste, but she was just happy to let her friends be happy. It was finally interrupted by seven phone alarms going off, jolting the group into sudden movement. Starlight staggered as she was suddenly dropped to the ground.
“Hey, what is it?”
“We’re going to be late!” Rainbow Dash yelled behind her as she took off running towards the school, the other six right behind her. They made it there just in time, the bell to head to morning classes ringing just as they arrived. Starlight received a quick hug from each of them before they hurried on their way, until it was just her and Sunset in front of the portal.
“I guess this is goodbye for now,” Starlight said. Instead of answering, Sunset opened up her backpack.
“I wasn't sure if I should give this to you, but I thought you might want it.” She said as she pulled a photo out of her bag. “Her dad let me take a picture of some old photos he had, and I got this copy for you.” Sunset held out the photo, tilted away so Starlight couldn't see what it was.
Slowly, her hand shaking slightly, Starlight reached out and took the photo. There were three people there, an older man, with light grey skin and silver hair, embracing a much younger Starlight, pigtails and all, and a much younger Sunburst. Starlight stared at the photo, at the man in particular. They all looked so happy together, far happier than Starlight ever remembered her childhood being.
“Are you okay? Should I not have-”
“Thank you,” Starlight interrupted. “I never even had a photo of my father to remember him. This might not be him, but it's the closest I'll ever get.” Starlight carefully slipped the photo into her bag.
“Well,” Sunset said as she wrapped her friend in a farewell hug. “I know this trip didn't go quite as we expected, but I'm still glad you came.”
“I'm glad too, I think I've learned a lot, about myself, and my friends.”
“Good.” Sunset let go and turned to walk away. “Say hi to Twilight for me, okay?”
“Wait,” Starlight said, reaching out to gently grab her wrist. Sunset looked at Starlight in surprise. “Do... do you think I should tell Twilight about... about the other me? Princess Twilight that is.”
“Why wouldn't you tell her?”
“Oh, right. I, uh, promised her I wouldn't use this to find her before I left.” Starlight held up her magic compass. “Kinda wish I'd kept that promise now.”
“Oh,” Sunset said, as the implications of what her friend was asking settled in. “You're asking if I think you should confess, basically.” Sunset bit her bottom lip as Starlight nodded, her common sense and conscience warring with her empathy as she saw the fear in Starlight's face, the nervous way she fidgeted with the compass.
“I think-” Sunset started, then paused when she saw a little hope in Starlight's eyes. Steeling herself, she pushed on. “I think it would be best to tell her.” She watched Starlight's hope die, and the fear return, her mouth twisted into a slight grimace and her brow furrowed. “I know that won't be easy, but... I know she'll forgive you, and she's better able to help you deal with what you found.”
“Right,” Starlight said woodenly, as she turned towards the portal. “I'll- I'll think about it.”
“Okay,” Sunset responded gently, not wanting to force the issue. “I'll write you as soon as I can, but I've got to get to class.”
“Wait!” Starlight called out, again stopping Sunset mid-turn. “Before I go, did you really try and kill Twilight?”
“Twilight never told you that?” Starlight shook her head. “Yeah, I did. I'd managed to steal her Element of Harmony crown, and used it to turn myself into a demon.” Starlight looked at her with a raised brow. “Yep, a literal demon. I was all set to take my army and invade Equestria when Twilight decided she was going to try and lecture me into giving up. So I threw a fireball at her to try and get her to be quiet for good.” Starlight snorted in amusement at the mental image of Twilight scolding a literal demon.
“Yeah,” Starlight said. “Twilight definitely loves her friendship speeches. She tried using one on me the first time we met, but I just yelled at her and she shut up.”
“Wait, you just yelled at her? And it worked?”
“Yeah, why?” Starlight looked a bit confused. “Was that not supposed to work?”
“I don't know,” Sunset replied a distant look on her face. “I never even thought to try that.”
“Huh. You know, speaking of friendship speeches, I don't think you did that bad with mine.” Starlight gave Sunset a teasing grin. “I think you've got more in common with Twilight than you know.”
“Ha, you're one to talk, using magic to cheat on your homework? That sounds so much like Twilight I'm going to have trouble keeping you two separated from now on.”
“Oh, come on, we're not that much alike,” Starlight said with a frown as she watched Sunset walk away.
“Just keep telling yourself that,” Sunset replied over her shoulder, waving goodbye as she went. “I'll make sure to write to you later.” Starlight waved back and watched until the school doors closed behind her.
Starlight turned back to the portal, sighing as she debated with herself internally. She stared at it for a minute in silence, then squared her shoulders and walked in.
Once again, Starlight felt herself flung from the portal, but this time felt herself caught in the gentle embrace of magic.
“Starlight!” She heard Twilight call out as she was gently lowered to the ground. She was still trying to get her footing when she was wrapped in yet another eager hug. “Welcome back, it's been far too quiet around here without you.”
“Too quiet? Isn't Spike around?”
“Well, yes,” Twilight admitted as she stepped back to give her some space. “But I had the most amazing friendship lesson idea, and I've been waiting for you to get back. C’mon, let's get started right now.” Grinning with excitement, she turned and started to try and lead the way out of the library.
“Twilight, wait,” Starlight called out, before she had a chance to rethink her decision. Twilight stopped and turned back, her brow quirked with curiosity. Starlight opened her mouth once, twice, but couldn't manage to choke out the words. Her gut was locked tight with fear.
“Starlight? What's wrong?” Twilight asked, worry replacing her confusion.
“Twilight,” Starlight finally managed to choke out. “I'm so sorry, I... I broke my promise.” She lifted the photo from her bag to show what she meant.
Twilight looked at the photo, and as soon as she realized what she was looking at, she stiffened, eyes going wide. A simple ‘Oh’ was all she said, then turned around and stared at the wall.
“Twilight, I-”
“Be quiet, Starlight,” Twilight cut in, her voice eerily emotionless. Starlight's jaw snapped shut with an audible click of teeth. Twilight stared at the wall a few more seconds, then pushed the library doors open with her magic and walked out. Not knowing what else to do, Starlight followed her down the hallway, far enough to not intrude, but keeping the princess in sight.
After what seemed to be a half hour of wandering the halls of her castle, Twilight finally turned into her personal kitchen and eating area. The room was sparkling clean, clear evidence of the hard work Spike put into his job. There was a small book sitting on the table, that Twilight levitated in front of her face and started reading as she sat down.
Looking at the cover, Starlight saw it was an old book of fairy tales about Princess Celestia's childhood. Starlight sat opposite of her teacher, making sure to be quiet. Starlight watched an hour tick by on the kitchen clock, her emotions swirling further out of her control.
“Well?” Starlight finally said her fear driving her to impatience.
“Well, what?” Twilight replied, her voice still full of carefully controlled indifference.
“Well... aren't you going to yell at me? Or punish me?” Starlight felt her voice crack on the final word, but she ignored it, rising from her chair and slamming her hoof on the table. “I-I disobeyed you. I broke my promise! You should be furious with me, not just-just sitting there reading!”
Twilight didn't even flinch at her outburst, just kept reading. Starlight flushed red as the embarrassment of her actions swept over her. “S-sorry,” she muttered as she returned to her seat. Twilight continued to sit, quietly reading as the minutes ticked by in agonizing silence for Starlight.
“Do you know why I was in Canterlot?” Starlight looked up, but Twilight still had her nose in the book. Her voice was calm, too calm for Starlight's comfort.
“No,” she admitted.
“Princess Celestia asked me to come and give assurances that your recent... setback wasn't a sign of a more serious problem. She wanted to take you away and have your mental state evaluated in case you were still a danger to other ponies.” Starlight flinched, but didn't say anything. Twilight continued in the same calm, emotionless voice, but the book she held shook slightly.
“It took all my efforts to persuade her your actions were just an unfortunate mistake. You owe Princess Luna a big thank you by the way, I doubt I could have convinced Princess Celestia without her help.”
“Princess Luna?” Starlight asked in confusion, hoping for more information, but Twilight just nodded and gave a affirmatory ‘mmm’.
“Why didn't you let her take me?” Starlight couldn't think of anything else to say, and a part of her really wanted to know.
“Because I'm not convinced you'd pass those evaluations, Starlight. And I'm not about to let my student get locked away, not when it isn't necessary. And now, you not only broke your promise to me, you also disobeyed me. Your thoughtlessness is getting out of control, and I...” Twilight's voice finally gained some heat at the end of her thoughts, but Starlight could tell she stopped herself before losing her temper.
“Well,” Twilight said, making Starlight jump as she closed the book with a loud snap. “I suppose I want to know what you think.” She calmly levitated the book down to the table and looked at Starlight for the first time since she confessed in the library. Starlight met her gaze, but all she saw there was quiet intensity. It didn't reassure her.
“You want to know what I think?”
“Yes, Starlight. What would you do?” Starlight just looked at her blankly until she continued. “What would you do with a student who refused to listen to you? That broke the trust you placed in them?” Starlight felt a chill run from the base of her horn all the way to the tip of her tail and shivered.
“What would you do with your student if she just did whatever she wanted without caring about the consequences?”
Starlight couldn't bear her gaze anymore, looking down at her hooves to try and gather her thoughts. She knew. She knew the answer to the question already. She knew it before Twilight had even asked, knew before she decided to follow the compass. She knew before she left through the portal, before she made her promise. She had known the answer to the question as soon as Twilight agreed to teach her about friendship, and the answer she had long dreaded had finally arrived.
She knew, but she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. Instead she sat, quiet and still, trying her hardest to keep from bursting into tears. The minutes ticked by in silence, and the weight Starlight had been carrying around all day grew heavier and heavier.
“Starlight, please, answer my question,” Twilight finally spoke up, the vaguest hint of impatience in her voice.
“I-I-” Starlight tried to say, but her voice shook so hard with fear she couldn't continue. Swallowing her emotions as best she could, she tried again. “I-I wo-would, I-” Starlight swallowed once more, and took a deep breath before trying again.
“If I had a student who... who didn't listen to me, I... I would...” Taking another deep breath, Starlight looked Twilight straight in the eye. “I would get rid of her.” She tried to hold Twilight intense gaze, but her tears instantly blinded her. Starlight felt her last shred of confidence shatter, and buried her head into her hooves, sobbing into the table.
“A-and, she...I. I would deserve it! I'm a horrible student, and I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Twilight, I deserve to be punished, but...” Starlight tried to look up at her teacher, but was unable to see her through her tears. “But, please, don't send me away!” She lowered her head again with a choked sob. “Please, don't get rid of me, I couldn't take it...”
An unbearable stillness settled over the kitchen, broken only by the sobs Starlight failed to choke down. Starlight's ears perked up as she heard her teacher... her former teacher stand up and walk towards her. Starlight stiffened up, unable to look at her, waiting to hear the words that would take away the only good she had left, the gift that she had taken for granted. The words telling her to get out, and never come back.
Instead, she felt a hoof run gently through her mane, an act she would normally find comforting, but now terrified her.
“Oh, Starlight,” Twilight said, and Starlight squeezed her eyes tightly shut. “It seems you not only need to learn more about friendship, but about being a teacher as well.”
Starlight slowly raised her head, a look of pure bafflement on her face.
“Wh-what?” She asked, wiping away her tears to better see her teacher. Twilight was looking at her with... sadness. Hurt, even. Her sadness was enough to still Starlight's tears, but the hurt made her nervous.
“Tell me something, Starlight. Do you know the most important thing about being a teacher?”
“N-no,” Starlight admitted, twisting in her chair so she could face her mentor.
“The single greatest thing a teacher needs to know is to never, ever, ever, ever give up on their students.” Twilight emphasized each ever with a poke to Starlight's chest. “If I sent you away, how would you ever learn the lesson?” Starlight stared into Twilight's eyes, her words starting to register to her.
“So... you're not sending me away?” Starlight asked, not even daring to hope.
“Never, Starlight.” Twilight rested her hoof on her student’s. “Not only would that make me a horrible teacher, but it would make me a horrible friend as well.”
Starlight swallowed down her swirling emotions and stood up from her chair, stepping down to stand in front of her friend, and buried her head into Twilight's chest. The remnants of her tears seeped into Twilight's coat, but she ignored it, too overwhelmed by her feelings.
“I'm so sorry Twilight,” she said, surprised by how clear her voice sounded. “Can you forgive me?” Twilight's strong hooves and soft wings wrapped her into a powerful embrace.
“Of course, Starlight, you're my friend.” As always, her mentor’s gentle voice soothed her anxiety, made her feel wanted. “And I'm sorry, too.”
“You’re sorry?” Starlight asked, pushing away from Twilight a little to look in her eyes in confusion.
“Yes,” Twilight answered, and Starlight could hear the sadness in her voice. “When I asked you what you would do with a disobedient student, I thought you would suggest an essay, or maybe doing all of Spike’s chores for a month, or even losing your magic for a while. It never even occurred to me to kick you out, and I'm sorry I didn't see how afraid you really were. Like I said, there are many important aspects to being a teacher, and I'm still learning what all of those are, just as you're still learning to be a student. Can you forgive me, Starlight?”
“I... yes, I forgive you, Twilight.”
“Good. But... you still need to be punished. So, you're doing Spike’s chores for the rest of the month along with your own. I want an essay completed next week about the value of promises between friends, you're writing an apology letter to Princess Celestia explaining why it was wrong to cast magic on others without permission, and you're writing a thank you letter to Princess Luna for sticking up for you.”
“And my magic...?” Starlight asked, unable to keep her apprehension out of her voice.
“You can keep that,” Twilight answered with a grin. “You've got enough work to do already.”
“Thank you,” Starlight said with relief. “Those are all more than reasonable.”
Twilight pulled Starlight back into another hug, and the two friends shared a moment of quiet together. Starlight reveled in the affection Twilight gave, but eventually, she pulled away from her embrace.
“So, what was that friendship lesson you wanted to do today?”
“Oh, right.” Twilight tilted her head in thought before a slow grin spread over her face. “You know what? I don't really want to do a friendship lesson.”
“You don't mean that!” Starlight gasped in mock horror before she grinned right back.
“It's the truth, I've had more than enough serious business for one day. So, what do you say we go to the library and work on trying to figure out this old spell I've been working on. Sunburst found some old spell scrolls in the Crystal Library that he couldn't get to work. If he made these translations properly, then it's apparently supposed to be some sort of invisibility spell. I think between the two of us, we can figure it out.”
“Sounds good to me,” Starlight said, then followed Twilight back to the library. As they walked, Twilight chatted on about the scrolls and the other possible magics they contained, but Starlight barely listened, something else troubling her thoughts.
Monday Night
Twilight worked her brush through her mane with her magic, gently easing loose any knots and tangles after her bath. She was peering through the notes she took during the days experiments with the invisibility spell. After over ten hours of testing, Starlight was able to turn her front hooves invisible for half a minute. That small success had been enough for the two mares, and they had called it a day.
As she moved on to her tail, a high pitched ring and vibration drew her attention to the journal on her nightstand. Cheered by the prospect of hearing from Sunset, Twilight levitated the book over with an eager grin. Flipping the book open, she turned to the page with glowing words emblazoned on it.
Hey! Twilight. I was wondering if Starlight was around?
‘Afraid not, she already called it a night. We had a crazy day of magic studies. Starlight did the heavy lifting tonight while I took notes, so she's pretty exhausted. I'd be surprised if she's even awake now.’
That's too bad, I was hoping to talk to her. I don't suppose she told you anything about her trip here?
‘Subtle. Yes she told me all about her misadventures while she was there. I hope you didn't have a hand in encouraging her.’
Of course not, I didn't even know she could find her other self until I found her. Try and go easy on her, okay?
‘Good, I'm glad you're more sensible than she is. As for her punishment, that's between me and her. She not only disobeyed me, she broke a promise. I can't just wave that away.’
Fair enough, I suppose. I guess I'm just worried about her. I mean, finding out another version of yourself committed suicide has to mess with anyone's head.
Twilight felt a chill settle across her back. She read and reread Sunsets words, convinced she was misunderstanding her.
‘What do you mean suicide?’
I thought you said Starlight told you what happened?
‘She didn't mention anything about her human self being dead, and if you don't start explaining right now, I'm going through the portal and hunting you down. Starlight might not tell me, but I know you will!’
Alright, alright! I found her Friday afternoon standing over her own grave. Sort of, you know what I mean. I did some research and found out her other self committed suicide when she was little more than a child. And I'm done talking about this, if you want more information, talk to Starlight, okay? I already feel bad I let her secret slip, I'm not breaking her trust any more than I have to.
‘And the photograph she showed me?’
I got it while doing my research. Now please, no more questions. Talk to Starlight.
‘Alright, I guess that will have to do. Thanks for telling me what you could, Sunset. Good night.’
Good night, Princess Twilight.
Twilight slowly shut the journal and levitated it back to her nightstand. Idly, she began running her brush through her tail once more. She stared at her reflection in her mirror, lost inside her own thoughts.