Do We Have to Speak in Character?

by Punished Venom Muddy


Brace Yourselves For Adventure!

"Finally, they're here!" You exclaimed as you tore open the small package, excitement filing you.

You had custom ordered some carved rock pieces from the Pie Rock Farm, main sure that you had sent very accurate descriptions of what you wanted made. It had cost you a hefty amount of bits to get them made, but now with them in your hands it was totally worth it. You had gotten a full dice set carved from a really nice piece of marble, shaking the multi-sided die around in your hands you were happy that your plan could continue.

A few weeks ago Twilight had asked what you used to do for fun back on Earth, you told her that you mostly played tabletop RPGs for fun when you weren't busy with school. Your answer had confused Twilight, which in turn confused you. Apparently she had never heard of tabletop gaming before, which was weird. You figured that a nerd an intelligent pony like her would have heard of tabletop gaming before, but it wasn't even a thing in all of Equestria. Seeking to right this wrong you saved up your bits until you were able to order the custom creations currently in your hand, with the dice in hand and having already written-up character sheets for your six "girlfriends" (friends whomst'd've were girls, you single loser) you were able to start your plan.

"Hey Twilight, could you get everypony over here for me?" You asked as you entered into her room, startling Twilight and causing her to get the brush she was using caught in her mane.

"A-Anon, don't you know to knock first!?" Twilight exclaimed, freeing the brush from her mane.

"Right, sorry. But check it out, they finally came!" You said as you held your hands out to Twilight, showing her the multi-sided dice in your hands.

"Are those the "D" you always talk about?" Twilight asked whilst taking one of the die into her magical grasp, spinning it and looking at the multiple numbered sides.

"Yeah, it's one of the D's I talk about" you said through a knowing snicker, Twilight not catching your inside joke.

"Well I suppose that I could get the girls together, I mean you've been so excited to share this Earth custom with us for quite a long time" Twilight said, passing the die back to your hand and exiting the room.

"Hey man, I heard that you're gonna do that RPG thing" Spike said as he entered the room shortly after Twilight exited, giving you another brilliant idea.

"Yeah man, and I need your help to make it truly epic!" You explained, drawing Spike's interest as he waddled over to you, a sparkle in his eye.

"Yeah! What's up?" Spike asked excitedly as you crouched down to explain your plan to the baby drake, whispering your plan into his ear-flaps.

"Aw heck yeah! That sounds soooo cool!" Spike exclaimed while giving you a little fist-bump. Now your plan was complete and all that you needed to do now was wait.


It had taken a few hours for Twilight to gather the rest of the mane six, most of them were busy with their own various jobs and chores. But you were able to get them all together for your little one-shot with your equine friends, pleased that you could convince them all to take part in this nerdy pastime. You now sat at a round table with the six mares, all of them giving you quizzical looks as they watched you pull out six sheets of paper. Handing them out to the respective mares you watched as their eyes scanned over the hand-written character sheets you had made.

"What is this junk Anon?" Rainbow asked as she flipped over her sheet and looked at the back.

"Rainbow, that's no way to speak to Anon! This is clearly one of his Earth customs that he talks about" Rarity scolded, eliciting a huff of annoyance from Rainbow.

"Whatever" Rainbow said as she looked over her sheet, taking a glance at the other sheets on the table.

"I think it's really cool that Nonny would want to play with us, it's like a paper game party!" Pinkie exclaimed as she stuffed some of the snacks you had laid out on the table into her mouth, continuing to scan her sheet.

"Well I got one question, why am I a barbarian?" Applejack asked as she looked away from her sheet and up at you, you only gave her a devious smile and continued to watch the mares scan over their characters.

"Um... I don't want to hurt anypony in the game" Fluttershy whimpered out, almost inaudibly.

"Ok, let me explain what's going on here. You all have a character sheet in front of you, that is who you are in the game. It also holds all your stats, abilities, and gear. Twilight you are the wizard of the group, master of the arcane and magic master. Rainbow you are the valiant fighter, unyielding in her determination for justice. Pinkie you're the bard, focused on boosting the party with your songs and stories. Rarity you are the dashing rogue, smooth talker and thief extraordinaire. Fluttershy you're the cleric, holy healer and aid to the team. And last, but not least is you Applejack the barbarian, unstoppable force of pure might!" You explained, watching the girls lean inwards as you told them about their characters and roles.

"Yay! I get to play songs for the party!" Pinkie exclaimed joyfully as she put more snacks into her maw.

"I guess that being a fighter is pretty cool, perfect for me" Rainbow boasted as she opened one of the bottles of cider you had gotten for everyone.

"Well, I reckon that I am pretty strong" Applejack said as she too grabbed a bottle of her own cider.

"I-I hope that I can help" Fluttershy said quietly as she took a few chips and ate them.

"Dashing rogue you say, you flatter me darling" Rarity said as she batted her eyelashes at you.

"I wonder what kinds of spells I know?" Twilight asked as she began to look over her sheet again, eliciting a moan of complaint from Rainbow.

"Enough with all the talk, let's get started on this adventure!" Rainbow exclaimed impatiently as she held up her bottle of cider.

"Ok ok, you guys ready?" You asked, trying your best to hide your own excitement.

"Yeah!" An almost unanimous cry came out from the six mares. This is what you were waiting for, clearing your throat you began their adventure.


"You sit around a campfire deep in the forest, the cool night held at bay by the flame's warmth. You had been tracking the disappearance of a few townsfolk, but hadn't been able to find any more leads after following some suspicious tracks into the forest. Lost and tired you decided to make camp in this clearing, now you guys can talk to each-other as if you're in character" you explained after finishing your exposition, really getting the girls into the game.

"Ok. I'm... Rainspeed the Brave, slayer of monsters and hero to the common folk. Who are all of you?" Rainbow said, having had to look for her name on the sheet.

"I'm Pickle Pie, happiest bard in the world!" Pinkie said with a giant smile on her face.

"I am the rogue Rarestone, at your service" Rarity said, giving a small bow and eliciting a giggle from the other girls.

"I'm Twilus the wise, scholar of the grand archives and wizard apprentice" Twilight said, tuning to the two remaining girls.

"I'm Apple Jax, barbarian of the west clan" Applejack said proudly, now all of the girls attention was on Fluttershy.

"I-I um, I'm Flutely the cleric of healing. Nice to meet you all" Fluttershy whispered out.

"Ok, now that you've introduced yourselves, why don't you guys decide who's going to take first watch of the night" you suggested, confusing the mares.

"What do you mean by "first watch" darling?" Rarity asked, causing you to facepalm.

"I mean that you are all in a monster infested forest in the middle of the night, so somebody will need to take watch to make sure you're not attacked while sleeping" you explained, clearing up the simple misunderstanding. The girls already muttering quietly to each-other as they looked over their sheets.

"Ok Anon, we've decided to have Applejack, Rarity and me take first watch" Twilight explained, giving you a proud little smile.

"I'm afraid I don't know who you're talking about, could you repeat those names?" You asked mockingly, wanting the girls to try and be in character while playing.

"I said Applejack- Oh, I get it. I mean: Apple Jax, Rarestone and me, Twilus, will take first watch of the night" Twilight explained, having caught onto your subtle hint to play in character. A sly smile now on both of your faces.

"Ok, I'm going to need a perception check from the three of you. You roll the twenty sided die and then add your bonus on your sheet, right here. Also if you roll a one or a twenty let me know, special stuff happens when you do" you explained, pointing at the small numbered box on Rainbow's sheet.

The girls all took turns rolling the single twenty-sided die and adding their bonuses. Taking back the dice you rolled a few stealth checks for the approaching monsters, making the girls anxious as to what you were doing. Looking back up at the mares you gave them another devious smile.

"What did you get, in order that is. First, Twilus" you said, grabbing a pen and opening to a fresh page of your notebook.

"I got a fifteen" Twilight said, you gave her a small nod and moved on. They had to get at least an eighteen to spot the incoming threats.

"Apple Jax?" You asked.

"I got a seventeen" Applejack said. She was close, but close only counted for horseshoes and hand grenades.

"Ok, and finally Rarestone?" You asked, both excited and sorry that you were probably going to surprise the girls.

"I rolled a twenty on the dice, plus my bonus of six" Rarity said, surprising you. First 'nat-twenty' of the night, nice.

"Well Rarestone, you hear a rustling in the bushes outside of the camp. Upon further inspection you notice a group of kobolds, small lizard-like creatures, sneaking around, about to ambush you. You have a round to act first and decide what to do" you said to the excited mare.

"I will warn Twilus and Jax about the creatures and then I draw my bow" Rarity says while miming the action of pulling back a bow with her hooves.

"Ok. So Twilus and Apple Jax, you two are motioned over to Rarestone who tells you that there are kobolds in the foliage ahead. She points out a few of them to the two of you and now you all get a surprise round on the creatures" you say, ready to start their first combat.

"Well, I'm gohnna drop inta rage" Applejack says after looking at the ability on her sheet.

"I'm going to cast... Mage armor? yeah, mage armor" Twilight says, having to take a second look at her spells.

"Ok so you cast your mage armor, the glowing magic surrounding you and hardening, forming a protective layer around you. Apple Jax you summon up your inner barbarian rage and can feel your strength growing from it, letting out a loud war-cry. You can now attack the kobolds" you finish, glad that the girls were enjoying themselves.

"Yeehaw! I'm gohnna charge the rascals!" Applejack exclaims, getting really into the game.

"Ok just roll to hit the kobold" you say, taking great enjoyment out of the fact that they were enjoying themselves.

"I got a sixteen, do I get 'em?" Applejack asks hopefully, you give her a nod and show her how to roll for damage. Her attack causing lethal damage to the creature and killing it in one hit, you were impressed to say the least.

"You charge the lizard-like creature, startling it. But before it can react you bring your axe across it's chest, cleaving it in two" you say, describing the fight to the celebrating mare, watching her give a little hoof-pump.

"Oh no, why did you have to kill it?" Fluttershy asks sadly, tears beginning to form in her eyes over a fictional monster.

"'Cause it woulda hurt ya sugercube" Applejack explains to her sensitive friend, saving you the work.

"Well, maybe I could talk to them if you woke me up?"Fluttershy asked hopefully.

"Sure thing sugercube, I'll wake ya up next chance I get" Applejack promised, settling the nerves of Fluttershy.

You started to really get into it, you were so happy that your friends were as into this as you were. A bunch of nerd around a table sharing snacks and adventures, it was a bitter-sweet feeling. Mostly because it reminded you of your home you'd never see again.


An arrow is let loose from Rarestone, planting itself into the upper chest of one of the kobolds, causing it to stagger, but it remains standing. Twilus rushes to her sleeping allies and begins to shake them awake, starting with Flutely and then moving on to Rainspeed and then finally Pickle Pie. Now with the entire party awake they began battle.

Pickle began to strum her lute, singing a song of valiant heroes and delicious cakes, inspiring her teammates. Rainspeed charged forward to join Apple Jax on the front-lines, embedding her sword into a kobold locked in combat with Apple Jax, dropping the creature. Flutely began to approach one of the kobolds, only for a blast of magical fire to hit it, immolating the creature. This startled the kind Flutely as she had never seen death first-hand before, causing her to take a step back and trip. Taking advantage of the fallen mare a kobold charged from the underbrush towards her, brandishing a crooked sword.

"Help!" Flutely cried out to her allies, hoping that one of them would save her.

"Don't worry, I gotcha!" Rainspeed bellowed out as she charged towards the fallen Flutely, placing herself between the attacking kobold and blocking the blow with her shield, throwing the creature off-balance.

Taking advantage of staggered creature Rainspeed raised her sword high, prepared to smite the creature. However she was stopped by the soft touch of Flutely on her armored leg, a pleading look in her eyes. Letting out a huff of complaint Rainspeed switched her grip and pommel smashed the kobold, rendering it unconscious and returned to combat with Apple Jax.

"I'm sorry little lizard" Flutely whispered to the unconscious creature as she began to tie it up, so that it wouldn't cause any more harm.

There were only two kobolds left, currently locked in combat with Apple Jax and Rainspeed. One of the creatures lashed out at Apple Jax, catching her across the chest with its wicked blade. The cold metal cut deep and opened a nasty wound in the barbarian girl, she returned the blow with her axe and cleaved another kobold in two. The last one quickly dispatched as well by a well placed arrow from Rarestone, with the battle won the girls all regrouped to assess the damage.

"Is anybody hurt?" Twilus asked as her glowing aura faded away, leaving the only illumination that of the campfire.

"One of the varmints nicked me" Apple Jax confessed, holding her hand over her wound in attempts to staunch the bleeding.

"Oh my, um let- let me help you" Flutely said as she prepared a healing spell to aid her wounded friend.

Channeling the holy energy through herself, Flutely was able to heal Apple Jax's wound. With all the damage done to the party healed the six mares turned to their bound guest. After a while it awoke and began to scream in a language that most of the girls didn't understand. Except Twilus, she could understand and even speak this strange tongue and decided to interrogate the creature.

"Who sent you!" She screamed angrily in the foreign tongue, startling her allies in the process.

"The Great Drake will end your meddling!" The kobold spat back, giving Twilus a wicked smile.

"Where is the Great Drake?" Twilus asked, becoming increasingly annoyed at this creature's antics.

"W-wait Twilus, allow me" Flutely said as she approached the creature and channeled a holy spell into it, calming it and making it more friendly.

"Where is your master the Great Drake?" Flutely asked kindly, the kobold smiling at the kind mare.

"He is in the cave to the North" he explained, Twilus translating what he had said for the party.

With this information gained the adventurers set off in search of the cave that held the Great Drake, master of the kobolds. The party walked well into the morning and by the time the sun began to set again the next day, they stop before an ominous cave. The mouth of the cave was enormous, stalactites and stalagmites formed an almost toothed appearance for the sinister cave. Gathering their courage the party stepped inside, wary of what lied within.

"Who dares to disturb my abode?!" A deep ominous voice bellowed out from the darkness of the cave.

"We-we're the mane six and we've come to defeat you and return the villagers home!" Rainspeed retorted, her voice only slightly wavering in fear. This response elicited a deep and amused laugh from the voice.

"You think that the six of you can defeat me, the Great Drake?" The voice asked incredulously while Twilus fumbled through her spell book for an illumination incantation. Finally finding one she uttered the magical words and was enveloped in a bright glow, revealing towering purple and green lizard.

"Spike? I didn't know that Anon was letting you play too, that's great!" Twilus said, confusing the Great Drake.

"I-I am not Spike, I am the Great Drake and you are delusional!" The Great Drake bellowed out, bringing Twilus back into full immersion.

The group was barely able to dodge a vicious tail swipe from the Great Drake, leaping behind stalactites and stalagmites that were crushed by the powerful blow. Clearing themselves of the rubble the six girls got to their feet and prepared for combat. Pickle strumming a bolstering song while Twilus casted her protective spell on herself once again, leaving Apple Jax, Rarestone, and Rainspeed to prepare themselves for male-based combat. Ducking into the shadows Rarestone became practically invisible, her disappearance going unnoticed by both the Great Drake and her teammates. Twilus immediately casted her mage armor around herself, the magical aura surrounding her and giving her a slight purple glow. Flutely just ducked behind some of the remaining stalagmites, her body shaking in fear.

"Have at thee drake!" Rainspeed bellowed out, charging the Great Drake with her sword, thrusting the blade into its scaled hide.

Shortly behind her was Apple Jax, her axe slicing into the Great Drake's tail, a cry of pain escaping its massive maw. The Great Drake swatted Apple Jax away with his tail, sending the raging mare hurling through the air and impacting against the stalagmites Flutely was hiding behind. Rainspeed however remained fighting, locked in combat with the Great Drake whilst Twilus prepared a magical lightning bolt, the channeled electricity coursing over her glowing form. Pickle continued to strum her lute, playing a song about salamanders, newts, and other amphibians for some reason.

"I cast lightning bolt!" Twilus cried out, the charged spell launching from her outstreched hoof and impacting the Great Drake's neck.

"Fool, you won't live to regret that!" The Great Drake bellowed, lunging at Twilus, his gaping maw open to reveal the rows and rows of teeth. His attack was stopped short when he reared his head in pain, a sudden stab to his side revealing Rarestone with her rapier embedded to the hilt in the Great Drake.

"So sorry darling, slip of the hand" Rarestone mocked, twisting the blade before drawing it out and backflipping out of the way of an angry claw swipe.

"I'm still here you big ugly drake!" Rainspeed yelled, accentuating the point by slashing the Great Drake with her sword.

"Grrrrr! ENOUGH!" The Great Drake bellowed, rearing his head back and letting loose a torrent of green flame, the inferno engulfing all but Flutely hidden behind the rocks.

With a cry of unanimous pain, the five girls fell to the ground, their bodies slightly charred from the blast.


"Dagnabbit, I'm at 0 hp" Applejack groaned, dropping her pencil onto the table.

"Me to, this is dumb. I can't die, I'm- I mean we're the main characters!" Rainbow protested, crossing her hooves and slumping down into her chair.

"Yay, I have no hp either!" Pinkie exclaimed, shoving an impossible hoof-full of snacks into her mouth.

"My character's coat is going to be hideous after that fire attack, oh this is dreadful!" Rarity complained, fretting over her fictional character's looks.

"Maybe there's still hope girls, I mean Fluter- I mean Flutely is still up!" Twilight reminded everybody, jolting Rainbow out of her pouting.

"Yeah! You can do it Fluttershy!" Rainbow cheered, giving the shy mare a big smile.

"Flutt-er-shy, Flutt-er-shy, Flutt-er-shy" the five girls began chanting, encouraging their shy friend to take action and finish the fight.

"W-well if you g-guys think I can..." Fluttershy whispered out, taking her twenty-sided die in hoof.

"I'm going to use my holy smite on the drake, sorry Spike" Fluttershy apologized, Spike giving her kind smile and a shake of his head, showing he didn't mind.

"Okay then, roll to hit" you say, watching as Fluttershy's die rolled onto the tabletop. End over end it rolled, until it came to a stop... on the twenty.


Emerging from her hiding place behind the stalagmites Flutely arose with a burning determination in her light blue eyes. With a quiet prayer, Flutely's mace began to glow a brilliant gold, holy flames enveloping the weapon as she swung it downwards onto the Great Drake's lowered snout. The blow shook the cave and with the final strike, the Great Drake collapsed, it's body lifeless. In the time that followed Flutely went to her injured friends and casted her holy healing on them, bringing them back to a more stable condition. With the party back intact and the Great Drake defeated, it took little time to find where the villagers were being held prisoner, as well as the Great Drake's treasure horde. And so with the villagers rescued and the horde looted, the six mares exited the cave, an adventure well done.


"The end" you awkwardly say, unsure how to really end a one-shot.

Your ending apparently being satisfactory as the six mares began to clap their hooves together in applause.

"Yeehaw! Now THAT is what I call an adventure!" Applejack exclaimed, tossing her hat into the air in celebration.

"Yeah, it was like twenty percent cooler than anything you usually do" Rainbow admitted.

"We should do it again sometime!" Pinkie offered, getting the attention of the girls.

"It would be a pleasure" Rarity agreed, arranging her dice neatly.

"Yeah, and we'd get better every time. I wonder what other spells and creatures this world has to offer!" Twilight said, excitedly shifting in her chair at the aspect of learning more.

"I-I wouldn't mind doing it again..." Fluttershy whispered out, a small smile gracing her lips as a blush overtook her cheeks.

"Then it's decided, we'll make this a regular thing, once a week" you propose, the six mares nodding in agreement. You smiled, it had been a long time since you had a normal gaming group. This little thing giving your life a bit of normalcy in this land of talking ponies.