And so, the Disney princesses embarked for Hollywood. They all boarded a bus –
So here’s why. Turns out a certain princess, I’m not naming names Snow White, has a thing against magic mirrors. The princesses also couldn’t fly. Turns out one of them is on a watch-list after flying her magic carpet into restricted airspace, causing military fighter jets to be scrambled. And the group couldn’t travel by train. For some reason, Aerial was afraid of steam locomotives, probably due to several of her fishy friends being boiled alive. The group did try to borrow some inter-dimensional scissors. However, angered at not being invited to the summit, Princess Star Butterfly refused to lend her stolen scissors to the princesses. And so, because none of the princesses could drive, and no one wanted to pay the huge fee for an Uber across country, they boarded a Greyhound bus.
– and after a brief stop in New Orleans –
Tiana insisted everyone stop at her restaurant. All the princess dined on the great Cajun fare – gumbo, jambalaya, boudin, crawfish, alligator. They then went on a tour of the city. Tiana was going to be the tour guide, but Belle insisted as she had read a dozen tour books on New Orleans, dragging the group to Jackson Square, the National World War II Museum (awesome!), the cemeteries, Chalmette Battlefield (sorry readers in the UK), the streetcars, Canal Street, and the Superdome.
– and a forgettable detour –
As the princesses were all underage, they decided to stop in Tijuana, Mexico, to go barhopping. But at the border, the Mexican federal police discovered a large cache of weapons. Turns out Mulan, always trying to be well armed to fight off the next invasion, had acquired a large arsenal of AR-15s, Kalashnikovs, and 50-caliber sniper rifles. Thus the princesses all wound up in a Mexican prison. But thanks to Cinderella’s fairy godmother’s bibbidi-bobbidi-bribes, the princesses were able to escape. And since all the princesses were able communicate with animals, except Belle who was more in tune with flatware and furniture, they found some friendly coyotes to sneak them back across the border.
– they arrived in at their destination. They all went inside Hasbro Studios. Tiana, being an American from a relatively recent time period, spoke for the group. “What do you mean Princess Twilight isn’t here?” she demanded.
The receptionist replied, “I’m sorry, but it’s produced in Vancouver.”
That’s “Vanhoover” for all you bronies out there!
Tiana turned to the other princesses, “Guess we’re headed to Vancouver.”
“Well, at least we can leave the land of Trump,” said Belle.
“Hey, I like Trump!” said Cinderella.
Insert long argument over politics. And the right side won – whichever one will generate more likes for this story.
And so the princesses headed to Vancouver.
Actually, Belle insisted on giving a tour of Los Angeles. She took them to Hollywood Boulevard, the Getty Center, the USS Iowa (You should go there! Now!), the Queen Mary, Dodger Stadium, the tar pits, and The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios (don't tell Disney of this transgression!).
***
The princesses travelled north.
The did stop at Ghirardelli in San Francisco (That’s – wait! What is the ponified version of San Francisco? I don’t know. Someone help the author out!). They all enjoyed the fine products without Anna and Elsa going nuts. Because, even you Frozen fans will admit, they would totally pig out and stuff their faces.
They arrived in Vancouver late in the night.
***
Princess Twilight Sparkle left the office and headed home for a good night’s sleep. She couldn’t wait to find out what delicious dinner Spike had prepared for her. She also wanted to know how Starlight’s study of friendship was going. And, having the next day off, she had big plans. It would start with a wonderful breakfast with Starlight and Spike. Then she would visit the sick foals at Ponyville Hospital and help the mayor balance the budget. Next, she would spend time working on her numerous charities (though the Princess of Friendship, she could also be the Princess of Kindness and Generosity). After lunch with Pinkie Pie, she would help Rainbow Dash prepare for Do-Con, then join Rarity and Fluttershy at the spa for some much needed rest and relaxation. Finally, she would go to Sweet Apple Acres for a down-home dinner with the Apples. Yes, tomorrow was going to be a great day!
Suddenly, she heard a noise from behind her. Before she could turn around, a heavy whack to the head knocked her out.