//------------------------------// // Episode 10: The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You // Story: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Squee ( A Comment Driven Story) // by Down with Chrysalis //------------------------------// Denneylaw's Comment Well, here we go again. All they do is stare. And stare. And stare. And stare. And stare. Really now, how long is this gonna become a thing? I mean really?? You gesture your frustration towards Pinkie Pie. "I guess the author and audience likes running gags" Pinkie replies. Everyone else looks confused by she says, You, on the other hand, just gape at the pink pony. Wait…can she read my thoughts or something? And what does she mean by author and audience? You then grip your temple in realization. That’s right, Pinkie Pie can break the fourth wall. She knows about the audience. So wait, is there people or…things watching us right now? Even with me here screwing stuff up? You then look around at your surroundings, but all you see is Twilight’s library. Hello? Is there anyone out there? Can you hear me? You think “loudly” as you squint your eyes in all directions. “Oh silly, don’t try to look for what you can’t see. They only watch, that’s all,” Pinkie points out causing your eyes to unsquint. “What the hay are you talking about?” asks Rainbow Dash. You both ignore the skittles horse as you point to Pinkie Pie. Kersey475's Comment You can read my mind can’t you?! Who’s out there watching? Answer me! This will make the whole communication thing much eas- "Hate to burst your thought bubble," Pinkie interrupts, "But if you’re thinking things at me I can’t hear them. I just see them,” she points to a random direction and you and the others look as well. “Always watching, and the one tip tapping away. When it comes to you, I’m just making wild conclusions to what you’re thinking like I always do. But I think I know you well enough to get you." Seriously!? Your face droops. "You’re right Skelly, they are pretty rude for always watching,” she says with an oblivious smile. Meanwhile Spike, Applebloom, and Rainbow are all staring at Pinkie strangely. "Is she... okay?" Spike asks. "I... I don't know." Rainbow Dash replies. Neither do I, and I kind of have an inkling of what she’s talking about. I mean, there IS a fourth wall. But seriously, am I being viewed right now on some alternate universe TV screen? Is there some strange toy line being made of me? And how far is her knowledge? Hmmm… You then snap your fingers to get Pinkie’s attention. “Hmm?” she asks. You draw a cupcake, then put Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark on it and a knife before showing it to her. Suddenly Pinkie's eye twitches and she screams to the heavens, "BUCK THAT MOTHERBUCKING GRIMDARK CHARACTER ASSASSINATION BULLSPIT FOR TRYING TO RUIN ONE OF MY FAVORITE PASTRIES!!! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" DAYUUUUMN!!! "Pinkie!" Rainbow exclaims while covering Applebloom's ears as you subconsciously cover Spike's, "I may be the coolest pony around, but even I know not to use language that strong around foals!" "Uh, I work on a farm so I've heard a lot worse," Apple Bloom says taking Rainbow Dash's hoof off. “Oh, I’m sorry Applebloom and Spike, I have no idea where that came from,” Pinkie apologizes looking guiltily. “It’s just…something about those images made me feel very angry and want to say those words for some reason…” Pinkie has a hoof to her chin in thought, a look of confusion splayed across her face. So wait, she doesn’t know the fan fic, but she knows to be outraged? How does this fourth wall thing work? You just stare at the pink pony and then back at Applebloom for a good couple of seconds before mentally groaning. Ah screw it, if I think too much into this I'll go crazy. It's just like Pinkie Sense, better to just deal with it than try to understand it. Though I’m definitely going to have to experiment with this further. Meanwhile Rainbow just stares at Applebloom wide eyed before she stutters out, "W-well don't ever repeat those words okay?! They’re totally uncool." "I know that Rainbow!” Applebloom rolls her eyes. “Mah sister and brother tend to drill that into mah head every time they say one. Usually its mah sister though." This causes everyone in the room eyes to widen at the information. Huh...Applejack has a potty mouth? Well I guess the more you know... “Whatever,” Rainbow huffs before looking to Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie, you gotta explain. What did that thing draw to make you mad? Who are “Them” What do you two know that we don’t?” “Oh don’t worry about it Dashie, it’s not something you could possibly comprehend without having a nasty headache.” “I’ve already got one of those!” Dash fires back. Rainbow then starts trying to get Pinkie Pie to open up more about her Pinkieness, with Pinkie only giving vague unsatisfying answers while Applebloom looks back and forth at them. Well that’s going nowhere fast. With that thought, you decide to do something productive as you… Studiously ignore the ponies. Keep (trying) to learn to read. Ignore the ponies and tap Spike’s head. He snaps out of his shock and looks at you. "What?" he asks. You point to him, then the book. You do this several times trying to get your point across, and eventually it does as Spike's eyes widen in recognition. "Oh! You wanna start learning our language right? But right now? What about..." He gestures over to the still arguing mares. Eh, knowing this world and its need to be overdramatic, they'll be like that for awhile. You draw your thoughts out to Spike by drawing out the ponies talking with Pinkie Pie smiling, and Dash with an angry face with a clock ticking by showing no change happening for awhile. Spike nods his head at this before scratching the back of his head. "Yeah...I guess they will be struck like that for awhile huh?" “But why is my cutie mark on that cupcake drawing?!” “I have no idea, but for whatever reason, it’s very stupid.” “This whole thing sounds stupid!” You smirk and nod at Spike (and slightly wince) as you think, Unless Celestia herself decides to drop in for a visit they’ll be at it for awhile. I mean we could get some cold water, but... Both you and the little dragon shrug in acknowledgement. "Alright then, though I gotta say, a part of me is kind of interested in what Pinkie was saying...but yeah, let's get to work!" And with that the baby dragon begins to teach you how to read! ... ... ... You know without some context that would sound really pathetic, you know? Anyway, for the next couple of minutes Spike tries to teach you. He must have learn some things by living with Twilight for so long, because he seems pretty good at giving a lecture. Maybe a little too good, because halfway though explaining the Equestrian alphabet… Wait for the Pink Abomination to get the plot moving. Also, to make the story continue. "HEY SKELLY! Now’s not the time for learning, that comes later!” Pinkie chirps. You look up from Spike’s book and see Pinkie, Rainbow, and Applebloom looking at you expectantly. “Oh wow, I guess I should learn to speed things up huh?” Spike mutters as he looks at the clock above the bed. You look to it as well and see that fifteen minutes have already passed. Yeesh, and here I thought they’d argue longer. These squiggles have some context, but they’re still alien. Pinkie notices your frown and giggles. "Sorry Skelly! But I was trying to explain things to Rainbow Dash, and she of course didn’t understand anything, so I tried to set an example of unexplainables, so I was telling her and Applebloom about how you’re a psychic, and Rainbow got all curious and asked me how I knew. So I told her blah, blah, blah blah…“ Is…is she just saying- “But now Rainbow wants proof that you’re psychic, so I figured you can give her a vision! *Squee*" While you just try to control your reaction to the adorable squeeing sound, the other ponies/dragon in the room just look at Pinkie in confusion as Spike asks, "Uh Pinkie? You didn't really explain anything, you kind just started saying 'blah blah' over and over again for awhile till the end." "...Did I?" Pinkie asks in befuddlement as she rubs her chin. Everyone sighs at this, including you. Geeze of course she'd go for that joke. How obvious can ya get Pinks? “Yeah, all you said was you knew he was psychic,” Applebloom speaks up. “Twilight said something about that earlier. I thought she was just over-exaggerating,” Spike adds. “Nope. He’s the real deal, he told me so,” Pinkie smiles. Oh Pinkie, you innocent trusting bundle of joy you, you wince at her trusting nature. Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted as Rainbow's face suddenly appears way too close for comfort to yours. You make what sounds like a 'yelp' noise as you sit back in surprise, causing Spike to scramble off your lap. BrownDog's Comment Shadow The Fire Spirit's Comment "Alright buddy, I doubt it’s true, but if you can see the future then tell me this. Am I going to get into the wonderbolts?" Aw Crud, I can't let her know something that concrete, then she'll be even more insufferable and obnoxious with her gloating. You try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that, but that only seems to anger the skittle themed pony. This only sends warning singles off in your brain. Oh crud not good! You panic, If there's one thing I shouldn't do right now it’s pissing off Dash. Sure my escaping skills have been top notch lately, but there's no way I can outrun this crazy pegasus! You glance around the room for anything that can help you in case you can't calm down the speedster, and your eyes land on Pinkie. Okay, worse cases scenario I hide behind Pinkie like a true man should in the face of a beating via a rainbow maned little pony. Before you can think of anymore plans Rainbow snarls and demands, "Well come on 'psychic!' Tell me if I'm gonna be on the Wonderbolts or not, or were you just faking it the whole time?! Just like you’re faking being good?" Steeling your eyes at the accusation you decide to shut her up and start "Convulsing" "Oh boy, here he goes!" Pinkie says excitedly while Applebloom and Spike watch in astonishment. You then choose to "Predict" an event that will happen way sooner than her Wonderbolts acceptance. You start sketching Gilda, with her talon around Dash's shoulder and them laughing. Rainbow's eyes widen at this as her mouth drops. "How...how did you know Gilda was coming?" she asks you in shock. "I only got her letter today..." "Because he's psychic silly. He can't control it, he has to wait for it, right Skelly?" You point to Pinkie Pie, then to your own temple and smile smugly at Rainbow Dash. “By the way, who’s Gilda?” asks Pinkie. “She’s like my best friend. We went to flight camp together. I haven’t seen her for a long time, but she’ll be visiting in a few days,” Dash answers, still flabbergasted as you nod to the rest. "Whoa..." Applebloom and Spike both coo in awe. They then start clamoring for you to read their future next, and you have to shake them off. For one thing, you can't tell Applebloom what her cutie mark will be, and secondly, you can't tell Spike if he'll get a date with his crush. “Give him some room guys, he just had a vision, making him have too many might hurt him or something,” Pinkie advises and the dragon and filly reluctantly stop inquiring. You give Pinkie a thankful salute as she smiles and turns back to Rainbow Dash. “Are you satisfied Dashie?” “That…that ain’t right Pinkie. If he’s got that kind of power, what if he…what if…” she looks perplexed, and a bit weary of you as she backs up. Somehow telling Rainbow about Gilda only made her more nervous about you. Oh My God Skittles! What do you want from me?! You groan in frustration. “Well I don’t think he’s evil. Although he did knock out Applejack with a lemonade pitcher earlier,” Applebloom says reluctantly twisting her hoof onto the ground. “But I’m sure that was an accident, right?” The filly looks to you with hopeful eyes, and you decide to once and for all convince her that you are not evil, even if she’s already leaning that way. SOMETIME LATER MagicLover2128's Comment It already feels like your gonna need a chiropractor or something to help with your neck and possibly something like a wrist brace for your poor aching wrist as you start to nod and draw out images showing that you really don't mean any harm and merely want to be friends. “Yeah, see, he just drew a picture of us hugging, of course he’s not evil,” Applebloom points out. “How do you know that doesn’t mean he’s going to eat you?” Rainbow throws back and you roll your eyes. Pinkie gasps and rushes towards you covering your ears, though the hooves don’t block sound at all. “Rainbow Dash! That was a mean thing to say. Skelly doesn’t eat ponies!” Yeah. Pigs, and Cows on the other hand… She then cradles your head like the insult actually harmed you. “It’s okay Skeletor, nopony thinks you really eat us. Shhhhh…” Yet again, screw ‘Cupcakes’ This pony is way too nice…I wonder what kind of reaction she’d have if I communicated some of the more risqué stories about her, or some of the other creepy ones aside from that shitty story. There’s countless web animations of her too. In fact… You then flip to a new page, and using crayons, draw Deadpool’s mask. When she sees it, a sparkle comes to her eye and she giggles. “Oh that’s a pretty good drawing of Wade’s mask…whoever that is,” she ponders letting go of your head. You blink in astonishment at the quick fourth wall break as you can feel your eye twitch from the pink party Pony of whom you have a great liking for. It’s gotta be media osmosis or something. Or my very presence is causing her powers to blip more. You soon shake it off with a fast shake of your head, which causes you to wince and mime in pain as you reach up to rub your neck; your poor, poor aching neck. The action causes Applebloom to look at you with a bit of pity which makes you really want to squee in joy at how utterly cute she looks, but you also appreciate the sympathy. "Are ya really in pain there Mistah Skeletor?" she asks. You do not want to nod or move your head much due to the aches, so you instead you just point at her. "Want me to find some ice or something to help your neck?" she asks in reaction. You simply hold up your thumb get your point across. “There’s an icepack in the freezer downstairs,” Spike says to her. “Alright then. You just wait here. I’ll be back right quick,” she says as she trots down the stairs past Rainbow Dash who is keeping her distance from you. “You don’t have to sit so far away Dashie,” Pinkie says to her friend. “I’m comfortable right here,” she counters. “Until Twilight gets back, I’m not letting that thing out of my site.” You, Spike, and Pinkie roll their eyes. “Oh Rainbow, Rainbow, Rainbow,” Pinkie tutters before bouncing towards her. What did I do to you horsey? Is this about the accidental kiss thing? That was YOUR fault! You gag in memory of that. I really hope she stops being a butt head towards me. I swear she’s just waiting for me to be alone before she strikes, and I don’t want more pain. And speaking pain, I really wish Zecora would come and help with some sort of magic potion that could just help my body or maybe even allow me to talk or something, but she isn't supposed to appear yet and I doubt that the universe is gonna let me have any sort of cop out or quick fix to my problems. You hear Applebloom down below opening the freezer and smile. But at least some ponies are helping out. Although, I wonder what effect Poison Joke would have on me? Would I be able to talk and speak with my voice but it would come out in a insane amount of words that no one could understand? Would I start speaking Russian out of nowhere? Or knowing my luck, my hands will turn to flippers and I won’t be able to write. Stupid bad luck! Oh what I wouldn’t give for it to make me look like my Skelebro… While the idea of having the body of Skeletor greatly appeals to you, the thought of having his face dislodges any attempts of trying out the Poison Joke. I think I'll be better off waiting till after the episode is over if I ever bother experimenting with the stuff. If I try to use if beforehand they'll probably jump to conclusions as usual and think whatever happens is a normal biological thing. I do not need Twilight dissecting me thank you very much. With that thought you carefully look around the room to avoid straining your neck. Rainbow appears to be talking with Pinkie to distract herself, and you can't tell if the smiles on their faces is a good thing or not considering how mischievous they are. Oh God did I accidentally cause their pranking spree early!? ...I am so so sorry Ponyville, you had a good run while you were still standing. Looking over to Spike you see him busying himself with packing up his comics. You’re guessing he doesn’t want any collateral damage in case more ponies suddenly intrude into the bedroom. Shrugging, you pick up the mysterious book and look back to the Megan entry. Just as you thought, you still have no inkling of what it says. And since Twilight doesn’t quite understand these pictures, they must have been drawings with no context as well. Like an archaeologist looking at cave paintings and trying to derive meaning…Hmmm… An idea sparks in your head, and since no one is looking you decide to... Tartarusbound's Comment Mess with Twilight add a plothook of your own. You make a small sketch of "Meghan" riding a Pony on a rainbow bridge between two planets and leave it in the book for Twilight to find later. You add a little flair to the drawing by adding in a large castle and a bag of "dark rainbows". Thank you borrowed crayons. Your wrist protests against you the entire time, but you figure it was worth it since now you had decent entertainment in the near future to look forward to. You put the book back down and just then you hear Applebloom's voice coming from outside the room. "Ah told you Twilight! The ice is for mah friend’s neck!" "And I told you Applebloom, your...friend has caused me a lot of trouble today and could be dangerous! I'll give him his ice while I lecture him, you can just run on home." As the sounds of the two ponies near, your eyes widen in panic as you think, Nightprowler2's Comment Oh crud Purple Smart is here! Quick brain initiate plan 24f! Just as you are about to initiate the plan, your brain comes to a screeching halt. Wait no, belay that order brain! This world's not ready for 24f. Instead begin emergency plan 12a! With that thought you begin your plan...which is to mercilessly tickle the nearest being. This just so happens to be Pinkie, who was walking over to you after talking to Dash. Pinkie lets out a Squee in surprise, but before long she is just a giggling mess on the floor as you begin your assault. "Skel-hhehehehje-Skelly sto-stop please! I'm-hehehehehehe-I'm way too tick-hehehehehe-ish! Hehehehehe-oh my sides! Hehehehehehe-I can't feel my sides-hehehehehehehe! Mercy! Hehehehehehe-mer-hehehehehe-cy!" Yes puny pony! No one can resist the might of the finger! Feel my tickling fury! You smile in madness induced glee. Rainbow and Spike just stare dumbfound at the scene, which soon turns into shock when the door is suddenly blasted open. You continue your assault and Pinkie doesn't seem to notice as she is still laughing uncontrollably on the ground. You look over to where the door used to be to see a very pissed off Twilight and an equally bored looking Applebloom. "Don't worry Pinkie! I'll...save....you?" Twilight's look of righteous fury is replaced with pure confusion as she stares at Pinkie's giggling form and your shit eating grin. Applebloom merely sighs at this before she starts to walk over to you with an ice pack on her back. "Ah told you he was alright." She gives you the ice pack, to which you smile at her and pat her head in thanks. “Aww, is it over already?” Pinkie whines with the loss of your tickling. "Adults, am I right?" Applebloom smiles leaning into the head pat. You chuckle airily, which sort of sounds like an amused dog pant, and place the ice pack on the back of your neck.  As you sigh in relief Twilight seems to snap out of it as she gasps and rushes towards you. You throw your arms up in defense...only to slowly put them down in confusion as you see Twilight completely ignore you and instead... Greatness942's Comment Put her sole focus on the book you messed with. “Spike! Why is the book off of my bed?” “Skeletor heard you talking about it earlier and wanted to take a look at it,” the dragon answers truthfully. She gives you an inquisitive glance, and Spike saves you from having to explain. “He still can’t read, but he was looking through the pictures. I tried to teach him a little, but ponies just kept breaking in here.” Thanks for the save bro, you smile at him. “Hmmph,” Twilight snorts and picks up the book. “Well Skeletor until a time as you can read, I don’t think it’s wise to look at such an advanced text. Sure there are pictures but…”She stops flipping through the pages and just stares unblinkingly at your drawing for 55 stopwatch seconds with no interruption, her pupils the only things moving as they swiftly shrink. Um...Twilight? You alrig- "OH SWEET CELESTIA AND ALL HER WACKY STUDENTS!" Twilight suddenly shouts, frazzling her mane as she shoves her face closer to the picture. "Is this biped planning on traveling between worlds?! Whoever wrote this book knew what they were doing when they chronicled this creature! I-I need to submit my findings to Celestia personally." Student's? As in plural, I thought you didn't know about Sunset-wait a minute, so you don't even know who wrote it? ...Huh. Well, how exactly are you going to- "When's the soonest time she'll arrive in Ponyville? ...Ooh, I'll need to check my schedule. If she doesn't arrive before the Grand Galloping Gala though, I'll have to submit this after the dance. This is big news. No, I have to research this further, I can’t go in with only vague ideas…but still…" Ah, some progress. Still quite a wait with plenty of time to strategize, but driving Twilight nuts is actually kinda funny. Bonus! As the others try to snap Twilight out of her little freak out, you instead... Ignore what they are saying and instead focus on what truly matters, your own personal enjoyment of the situation. Ignore what they are saying and instead focus on what truly matters, your own personal enjoyment of the situation. Hehehehehe, I feel like I'm in the middle of an episode. Which I am, but like one that was never aired. Or if Pinkie’s to be believed, aired elsewhere maybe. I wonder how far I can drive Twilight down the rabbit hole without driving her too insane? You chuckle mentally at the image of Lesson Zero Twilight popping up early and causing havoc during Dragonshy or even when the Flim Flam brothers show up. Man, if only I didn't need to rely on the time line or have a moral compass telling me messing with the universe is wrong. Ah well, I can at least enjoy these small bits of hilarity when they pop up. Not like they'll have that big a difference in the future. A feeling of dread washes over you at the thought, but you brush it off in favor of watching Applebloom resorting to giving what you dub the 'Cuteness Heart-Attack Inducer' look to calm Twilight down. You may or may not have blacked out slightly for a few seconds at the look. Eventually Twilight calms down enough that she starts to explain some things. She spoke with Applejack when she woke up, and she starts relaying to Spike a friendship lesson she learned. She then explains that tomorrow everyone will go out to help at the farm. Yes! I got the friendship lesson without a bunny stampede…although I did still let the food poisoning happen. Eh, close enough. But then it’s all ruined as Twilight looks to sternly. “And you Mister! You know how panicked you made me today? You’re supposed to be in our care at all hours! Not to mention the fact you broke into my room and blah blah blah blah…” This time it’s not Pinkie saying blah blah over and over again, you’re just drowning out like the sixth lecture you’ve gotten today. Yeesh, all you ponies do is nag nag nag. Well screw this. My body can stay, but my mind is leaving. And with that you… Fall asleep during a long and boring conversation, and not get noticed until you're not needed! Sorta, kinda fall asleep. You are vaguely aware of the world around you, but for the most part it becomes faded white noise as you stand on the cusps of dream and day dream. This isn’t the first time you’ve blocked out an annoying person leaving your semi conscious body to deal with them. A few of your past teachers got it the most. So while your mind technically dreams, you are still conscious in the basic definition, so that sadly means no moon princess visit (though she’ll probably not be doing that until she’s fully recovered anyway). You did have a very wonderful dream though. You were the mighty Skeletor, and you were facing against your nemesis He-Man. And unlike the show you were winning! No matter how many sword strikes, no matter how many fabulous poses Prince Adam did, no matter how many times he used his stand “Rainbow in the Dark” (which for some reason looked like Rainbow Dash) he was no match for the power of your magic and your own Stand, Hermit Purple. The blood of the Joestars burned bright and ensured your victory. As he begged at your feet, you lifted your Havoc Staff to finally destroy that miserable stick in the mud goody two shoes when… “Hey! Get Down From There!” He-Man shouts at you in Tara Strong’s voice. “Huh?” “I said get off my bed!” You are pulled out of your daydream to find yourself floating by your ankle, over Twilight’s bed, with no one else in the room. You look around in confusion and notice that the sun is setting. How long was I out of it?! “So I assume you’re out of your daze now?” she asks with a bit of heat in her voice and you nod, despite the blood rushing to your head. “Good,” she huffs as you are then dropped, bouncing off the bed and onto the floor. “Now that you’ve had your rest, you’re going to come with me to the lab. We have much to do.” You then shake your head and hands no, while flipping to the the portrait you’ve previously drawn of Pinkie Pie. "Oh no you don't! For all the trouble you caused me today you get to stay at my place tonight! We're going to spend the entire night and tomorrow after helping Applejack studying your psychic abilities and teaching you some of our language my way." Again, you point at Pinkie. “Pinkie said it was alright claiming that even you needed to enjoy a slumber party at somepony else’s house once in awhile. PINKIE YOU TRAITOR YOU LEFT ME FOR DEAD!!! “So until then Skeletor, you and I are going to do science,” she laughs like a mad scientist, and you swear lightning crashes behind her. And so began the longest two days in your entire life…since being trapped here that is. Let's just say your sisters put you though worse back home and leave it at that. TWO DAYS LATER Kazuma Michishige's Comment Sunbro4life's Comment You wake up this morning with a sore body and sore mind. After everything had been resolved with Applejack, you were put through the grinder learning with Twilight. Between her testing your psychic abilities (and her tearing at her mane when no results showed up) and the grueling learning schedule, it's been a little tough. But on the upside, you now have a basic knowledge of pony language…OK that’s a lie, you’re still like a first grader. You’ve basically got the alphabet down, and you have written down the most fundamental words. ‘Yes’ ‘No’ ‘Maybe’ ‘I Don’t Know’ but anything else is still gonna take you a long time. The sentence and word structure they’ve implemented makes little sense, and it all looks like scribbles. That aside, you also apologized to Applejack about what happened, and she surprisingly forgave you. As long as you promised never to tell anyone what happened while she was drunk at least. You can respect that, and you doubt anyone would believe you anyway. You also apologized to the Apples for flipping their table, and while you will be needing to work off paying for a new one since it broke from the flip, you have been forgiven. So all in all everything was settled between you and the Apples. Anyway, you do your daily morning ritual of getting cleaned, which somehow involves twisting  your body in ways that would make a contortionist envious, and putting on your only pair of (thankfully clean) clothes, though your underwear is starting to fray, and your hobo shoes are now more tape than magazine at this point. You make your way down the stairs, wave to the Cakes, and head out the door. Since the schedule for who is watching you has been kind of messed up thanks to Applebuck Season, and since Pinkie Pie said she would be busy today, you decide that perhaps one of the others will keep an eye on you today. But you might need help. If I remember correctly, Twilight said she would be in the park today. You start heading in that direction, noticing the guards following behind you at a respectable distance. Hopefully she’ll drop me off with Rarity or Fluttershy. I doubt Rainbow Dash is in the trusting mood. Maybe with Twilight and Fluttershy I can talk about getting some meat into my diet. I need my bacon fix dang it! While you usually needed to have one of the Elements with you at all times, since Pinkie was busy somewhere and you were on your way to another Element anyway, your escorts figured that this could be a special exception from the rule for now. Speaking of your escorts, both of them have been secretly been giving you the stink eye. By 'secretly' you mean whenever they think no one is looking, which is never because they’re guards and all that. Usually you would be annoyed by this but, after a lecture from Twilight (which had to be repeated three times due to dozing off) and thinking it over, you decided it was kinda deserved. You did sorta poison them after all. Anyway, as you wander about you feel the loose gravel through the hobo shoes and wince. Or maybe I can hold off on the bacon for now. Rarity sounds like the more pressing matter. I might as well try to get some kind of clothing that's not just my poncho. No clue when the colder weather might show up. With that thought you take out your 'To Do' list for today and add on visiting Rarity. Hopefully she's still not upset over the whole Nightmare Moon thing. Her and Fluttershy are the only ponies I've yet to talk to after that whole thing, so for all I know they’re both holding a grudge. Well...Rarity at least, I don't think Fluttershy has the ability to hold one. Still, probably should get on her good side more before I start asking about eating her animals. Shaking your head to get your mind back on track you think, I just hope Rarity will be willing to make non-pony clothes. As well as accept payment in the form of manual labor since I have no cash to my name. Maybe if I- All thoughts leave your head as you suddenly find yourself soaking head to toe. You stand still in shock as you hear ponies laughing at you, including two very familiar voices laughing to your right. Ignoring flashbacks to your days in school you grumble, Oh joy, the prankster duo from hell. Guess Griffon The Brush Off is happening soon. This is gonna suck. WHAT DO YOU DO?