//------------------------------// // Remodeling and Boredom // Story: My Little Problem // by Sedentary Vagabond //------------------------------// Remodeling and Boredom   As Don woke up the next morning the first thing to go through his head was about how 6 AM was a mistake and whoever thought it was a good idea to wake up at that time should rethink how the world works. His mini mental rant was interrupted when he remembered the odd events of yesterday. “Man, what a weird dream… a talking pegasus, fruit snack time…muffins… I really need to-“ his train of thought was interrupted when he heard something shift and groan in his bed. He carefully turned over and saw Derpy sleeping soundly on her stomach under a corner of his blanket. He laid back down again. “Nope, wasn’t a dream, still crazy…” he thought. He was suddenly reminded of how she even started sleeping on his bed in the first place. - “So, where am I supposed to sleep?” Derpy asked. “What? I thought horses slept standing up.” He replied. “No, we sleep in beds! Standing up is just silly. Whoever heard of such a thing, sleeping standing up…” she said laughing to herself. He sighed in frustration and mumbled. “The one time I needed her to do something a horse normally does…” “Well, I guess you can sleep here,” he said while pointing to a corner of the bed. “You’re small, I’m sure you’ll fit, I mean, I do have a full sized bed here.” She looked unsurely for a moment and glanced back at Don. “And if you’re worried that I’ll squish you, relax, I’ll put my phone near you so I know not to shift too much.” He said. This seemed to ease her up a bit, though he wasn’t sure that he had convinced her. There was a moment of silence before she spoke up again. “So, then it’ll be like a sleep over?” She asked. “Uh, yeah sure, a sleep over I guess.” He said. She landed on her corner of the bed and began to jump up and down. “Yay! Sleep over!” - He ran a hand over his face and carefully got up as to not disturb Derpy and began to get ready for the day. He quickly threw on some clothes, and then grabbed his phone to check the time. “6:15… that’s better than most days…” he thought. He turned around to leave his room when he tripped over his backpack. “SON OF A-“ he cried and instantly covered his mouth. “Don, where are you going?” a sleepy voice called from his bed. He looked and saw Derpy sitting on her hindquarters looking up at him. He was hoping to avoid this entire conversation all together by sneaking out of the house, but it seems he was about to handle this here and now. “I have to go to school.” He replied while checking the contents of his bag. “Can I go with you? She asked. “No, I told you, I can’t afford anybody seeing you.” He said. “Can’t I go please?” She asked again. “No.” he reiterated while zipping up his bag. “Pleeeeaaase??” “No.” “Pleeeeaaaaaaaase?” He sighed, “NO!” As soon as he gave his final no, he began to here tiny little sobs. “B-b-but you said…I…could help...” He set his bag down again, “Sweet Jesus have mercy on my soul…” He got down to Derpy’s level, “Listen, as soon as I think of a good way to hide you, you can’t go with me anywhere. I’ll try and think of ideas during my classes today okay? But until then, you need to stay here till and lay low.” She only nodded. “You should go back to sleep and I’ll be back this afternoon. I hope you can manage yourself until then.” He said while putting on his shoes. “I guess I could try, though a great mailmare such as myself wakes up early everyday so I can deliver letters,” She said rather proudly, “…and It gives me time just in case I drop some letters and find them too…” “EARLY RISERS...” he thought, the tone of his mental voice having venom in it. “So, how can I help you if you’re not even gonna be here to be helped?” she asked. “You’re a smart pegasus, I’m sure you’ll think of something.” He said while making his way towards the door. “When are you supposed to be back?” she asked. He thought for a moment, “Well, I should be back around either 2:30 or 3 this afternoon. If you need to see the time, the clock is on my desk.” He said while pointing. She looked over towards the clock and the red numbers read “6:25”. “Anyways, try and go back to sleep so there are less hours in the day, but if you’re up… you’re up I guess. I’ll try and get home as quickly as I can.” He said. “I guess I can, it’s not every day I get to sleep in.” she said and got back under the blanket. “Bye, Don.” She said while yawning. - His drive to school was boring to say the least. He instantly regretted leaving Derpy behind. “Maybe I should’ve let her come with me, at least it would’ve made the trip a little more bearable. I mean, sure, I like the peace and quiet, but I’ve doing this for a year now and let’s face it, the trips back and forth are kinda lonely.” He thought for a moment before suddenly realizing what he was doing. “Great, now I’m talking to myself out loud. This has to be me going crazy. Well… then again, it’s normal to talk to yourself. It’s when you reply to yourself is when you’re crazy right?” “Right.” - When he arrived on campus, he went straight for a table in the Student Lounge and sighed. “Another day, and more classes. I can’t wait for summer, then I won’t have to put up with this crap…”   His thought was interrupted by someone coming into his peripheral vision. When he turned to look he only saw Lewis and as soon as they made eye contact he made a bee-line for Don. “Hey man, you ready to watch the most amazing thing you’ll ever see?” “I knew I should’ve gone to the library…” he thought as he mentally face-palmed. “What do you mean start watching? I thought-“ Lewis interrupted him. “No man, we’re gonna start watching right now. We’ll start on the first episode and-“ “Look, as much as I would love to, I have class, right now, so… I’m gonna have to bow out for now.” Don said. Lewis stared at him for a full second before answering, “Sure thing man, don’t worry, you’ll watch it eventually.” “Was that a threat???” - Derpy woke up and stretched as she threw the small corner of blanket off her and looked around Don’s room. It wasn’t too big of a room, though from her point of view it was huge, but had a simple layout. There was a large black rectangle with wires coming out of it on side across from where Don’s head would be in bed, and in the far corner there was an even smaller black rectangle with a glowing red light on it on his desk. She noticed there were a lot more odds and ends on it as well. She suddenly remembered what Don said earlier that he’d be home by three. She looked at the clock on his desk it read “9:30”. “Rats,” she sighed, “I really hope he comes home soon.” She said as she paced back and forth on his bed. “Hmm,” she mused, “How can I help Don if he’s not here?” She rubbed her chin with her hoof and looked at this desk when she got an idea. “I know, I’ll organize things on his desk! That oughta help him!” she said. She was about to start this task when she heard rumbling in her stomach. “But, first I guess I’ll eat. Can’t start the day on an empty stomach!” She started to fly off towards Don’s kitchen, “I hope he still has grapes…” - Don sat in one of the desks in his classroom and rubbed his eyes.  “Well, that was something, I didn’t know I could vault over that wall like that…” He opened his backpack, “I have to admit, Lewis is a pretty persistent guy. Though he is a bit on the…weird side….”   “To be honest, I have no idea how or when I actually met him. Seriously, it’s like he just kinda… appeared outta nowhere and insisted on being my friend. I’m starting to wonder if that one saying is true though, ‘The Freaks and the Screw Ups are the best company’. Okay, that’s not fair, Lewis isn’t exactly a freak, or a screw up, but it sorta fits the bill.” He opened his notebook and clicked his pen. “Then there’s-“ his thoughts were interrupted. “Well, Good Morning, Class!” the professor said as he walked in. There was a monotonous “Good Morning” from other students and Don’s attention averted upwards. “Today we’ll be discussing the Spanish conquest of Mexico and the beginnings of Spanish Colonies…” Don sighed, “And here we go, a note taking writeapalooza. ‘Alas poor writing hand, I had known it well’.”   “Remember though, ‘There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so.’”   “I hate you, Shakespeare…”   -   Derpy sat on her hind-quarters and rubbed her slightly protruding stomach. “That was such a great meal. I’ve never seen grapes this big before, and I’m surprised I ate three of them!” She stood up and took flight, “Alright, now to organize Don’s desk and help him!” She flew into his room and landed on his desk, “Wow, Don sure has a lot of stuff.” She said while looking around. There were all sorts of papers and small boxes on his desk along with lots of pens, coins, old receipts, scissors, and lots of cards with peculiar drawings on them. “First things first, we organize!” She began to push all the cards together into one pile and not noticing the ones on the edge starting to fall to the floor. She then moved on to paper, stacking them on his bed by picking up each individual one with her hooves and laying them out. Next, she went to the small boxes. She looked at them curiously and cocked her head to the side trying to read the label. “D…Dur…A…kell…Durakell….What’s a Durakell?” she looked at the package and only saw small black cylindrical sticks with golden tops on them. “I wonder what these are for?” she asked. With some effort, she lifted the packages and stacked them. “They sure are heavier than I thought.” She huffed. “Don is going to be so surprised when he finds his desk neat.” - It was an hour later and Don sat in another classroom. “Hooray, Rhetoric and Comp Class…” he thought uncharasmatically. “A class designed on how to teach you how to research, and argue I suppose. At least it wasn’t like that class I took my freshman year that taught you how to survive and study in college, that class was a joke.” His mind drifted a bit, “I wonder how Derpy’s doing?” I hope she’s not too bored at home. Well, it can’t be too bad, she’s a small horse…well, pegasus, so she can’t be doing much damage.” His thinking was interrupted again. “Hello, Class!” The professor said as he walked in. “Are there any questions from last time?” Don gave out a small puff from his nose. “Questions from last time? I barely remember what I did two days ago! How does he expect me to remember stuff from last class period…which…was two days ago.”   He clicked his pen. “Well, here we go again, more writing and hopefully no group exercise today.”   He shifted his attention back to the professor; “And today there will be a group exercise that involve these worksheets.” “DAMMIT!”   - Derpy had just finished “organizing” Don’s desk. She looked over her work and smiled; “Neat and finished!” she said. Her “work” was just shoving everything into generic piles. As she stood there proudly admiring her work, she noticed his dresser off to the side. “Wow, Don has a lot of stuff over there too. I better clean that up as well.” She said and flew upwards to assess her new project. There was virtually no room to move things around here so she would have to place them on Don’s bed for the time being. She flew over and grabbed a piece of paper on his dresser and pulled; it didn’t budge. She tried again with the same result and paused a minute to think. “Stubborn paper, come out!” She said as she pulled with all her might. The paper eventually gave way and she flew backwards with it in tow. “Whoa!” she yelled and stopped herself in mid-air only to watch a couple of books fall to the floor. “Oops, my bad.” She was about to start picking them up when her stomach rumbled again. She looked at the clock, it read “12:30”. “Well, time for lunch, I’ll come back to this after more food. I wonder what else Don has to eat.” She said as she flew off to the kitchen again. - Don sat down in the Student Lounge and began eating a sandwich. “Ugh, finally, lunchtime. One of the few times where I can unwind in the middle of my schedule.” He took a couple of more bites, “Stupid classes, college isn’t as hard as high school made it out to be.” “High school doesn’t tell you that you can bargain with your professors for better grades, or the fact that if you show effort or steady improvement, they might cut you some slack and improve your grade.” He took another bite. “I think those scary college stories teachers use, are there to scare students into submission.” He heard footsteps approach him; “Hey man,” “I’ve made a huge mistake…” “You ready to watch the most amazing thing now?” “WHY DO I KEEP COMING BACK HERE?!”   - Derpy lazily flew through the air while swaying a bit. “Those were the biggest strawberries ever.” She entered Don’s room again and got back to work. She pulled a couple of more papers but only ended up knocking over a pencil holder making the assorted writing utensils scatter across the floor. “Oops.” She said as she started moving a book which in turn, caused a domino effect on a couple of other books making them crash to the floor as well. She tried moving other items on his dresser which only ended making a fan, a stereo and more books fall to the ground “Well,” she said looking around at her mess. “at least I got these drawers cleared off.” - Don impatiently tapped his foot as he sat in his final class for the day. He looked at the over-head clock; it read “2:15”. He sighed and put his head on his hand. “Political Science; ‘Boy I sure do love studying this’ said no one ever. Actually, now that I think about it, this class is like low-key ‘How to be a lawyer 101’.” He thought as he scribbled aimlessly in his notes. His mind drifted a bit and wondered about his future being a lawyer. “Donovan Lacson, you just handled the trial of the century and came out victorious how does that make you feel?” “It feels good Bob, it’s a great day for me and my client.” His thoughts were interrupted by the professor’s voice; “Are there any more questions before I let you all go?” “Don’t any of you dare ask any questions. So help me I will throw my text book at you and sacrifice your soul to Cthulhu.”   After a moment of silence, the professor continued, “Well then, you may all go. Have a good day!” He said.   Don packed his things and headed straight for his car. “Freedom! Sweet Lady Freedom I missed you!”   He meandered through buildings and passed through parking lots before he reached his car. “Derpy must be waiting for me to get home by now. My guess is that she’ll wanna have fruit snack time again and ask me all sorts of questions about school and stuff.” The ride home was just as boring as it was, and before long he had pulled into his driveway. “Finally, home sweet home. Time to see how Derpy did staying by herself.” As he entered the house he noticed that nothing was really out of place. “Well, it seems that everything is all right, though, there is a chill on the floor.” He walked into the kitchen. “WHAT THE-“ He looked at the open refrigerator as it worked to keep the entire kitchen and adjacent living room a constant temperature. He also found scattered grapes and an overturned container of strawberries. “Derpy…” he sighed and closed the fridge. He went to his room and stopped cold at his doorway. “WHAT HAPPENED HERE?!” he shouted looking at the assorted piles of his stuff. As if on cue Derpy emerged from a pile. “Surprise!” She shouted, “I organized your room for you!” “You…what?” He asked. “I cleaned up your desk and your dresser drawers!” she said still half buried in the pile she emerged from. “My room…” He said slowly. He was starting to lose it again. “I know! Isn’t it neat?!” she said flying and landing on his head. “My stuff…” “All organized!” “Derpy,” He began. “Yes Don?” He ran a hand over his face. “This isn’t how we organize things.” He said rather calmly. “It’s not?” She asked. “No, not even close.” He said while stepping into his room. She had now landed on his bed post, “But doesn’t it look neat?” She asked. “NEAT?!” he snapped, “THIS ISN’T NEAT! THIS ISN’T HOW I CLEAN MY ROOM AT ALL! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THIS WILL TAKE TO CLEAN UP?!” She stepped back a bit. The tone she was hearing wasn’t approval at all. “AND ALL MY STUFF IS OVER HERE AND HERE AND HERE! AND I’M NOT EVEN SURE HOW YOU GOT A SHOE ONTO THE CEILING… Okay, that one is more impressive, BUT ITS STILL WEIRD!” Unsure of what to do, she hid to get away from the raging human. He continued on for another minute before he stopped. He looked around but couldn’t see the pegasus anywhere. “Where’d she go?” He asked as he looked around before spotting a blonde tail sticking out from a portion of his blanket which connected to a small bump that was shaking in fear. “Oh no... what have I done…?” he whispered to himself. “Listen, Derpy-“ “NO! GO AWAY, YOU’RE SCARY RIGHT NOW!” She yelled. He stopped his advance. Her words seemed to cut him to his core, but she was right. Here was this huge human yelling and screaming while she being a three-inch-tall pegasus being exposed to pure anger with no knowledge of what he might do. “Derpy, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I know why you did it though.” He said, “It’s because you’re trying to help me isn’t it?” There was no response. He sighed and sat down at the edge of his bed. “I know I told you that you could help me, but I didn’t think you would do… this.” He said while waving his hand over her renovations, “But this isn’t exactly organized, or clean for that matter.” “It’s not?” She asked while poking her head from under the covers. “No, I’m afraid it’s not, and now I’m gonna have to clean up too.” He said looking at her. “I’m sorry.” She said. “I know you are, but man this is a huge mess,” He said while getting up. “In fact, I think I could use some help to clean it up.” Her ears perked up at this. “I mean, I can’t clean all this up on my own.” He said looking around.  “This’ll take forever.” He felt two pairs of hooves land on his head, “Can I help?” “Alright, but we should handle the kitchen first. That seems like the worst place.” He said. “Okay, but I might have spilled some grapes, and strawberries… some milk, and-“ She trailed off. “Stop. Let’s just get through cleaning up.” He said while sighing.