//------------------------------// // Chapter 1: A Catastrophic Mystery // Story: Twilight's Unusual Escapade: Dark Requiem Revisited // by Lupine Infernis //------------------------------// 1055 AD, July 11th There are two choices to make when your door is practically torn off its hinges by a wailing pink pony carrying a bucket to contain her tears: Option A – Ignore the pink pony. Option B – Confront the pink pony and get involved in whatever situation she had gotten herself into, thereby repeating the same mistake from last time. Twilight should have gone with Option A. “Oh no…” Twilight groaned as she stood up and quickly cast a Raincoat spell on her precious books. “Pinkie, the last time you came in here crying, I had to blowdry half my books.” “It’s horrible, Twily! Horribuh-huh-hullle!” Pinkie sobbed, making her way over to the reading table and placing her bucket on top. Mini-waterfalls cascaded down her cheeks. “Why do bad things happen to TV?” “I don’t really watch TV that much, but…” In the corner of her eye, Twilight saw a blue form trot out from the kitchen. She turned her head and waved her hoof in warning. “Trixie, I think we need to get the mop and bucket ready. The bucket’s not that big.” Levitating a tray of freshly-baked cookies, Trixie harrumphed and walked over to place the baked goods on the table. “The Great and Powerful Trixie was looking forward to spending time alone with her Smart and Beautiful Twilight!” Twilight blushed, still unused to the flattery even after almost three months. “Th-thanks, Trixie…” “Aw, y-you two are so cute together. It’s too bad that the whole world is ending!!” “Okay, Pinkie. Pinkie. Stop. Stop crying all over the cookies. No, don’t try to use that book as a handkerchief. Put that down. Good. Now, tell me what’s going on.” Pinkie took several deep breaths and managed to quell the flow of tears. “Well… there I was… helping the Cakes cook… but the twins were being fussy… so I decided to turn the TV on for them. I put them… in the living room and… and turned the TV on, but… but…” Seeing that she was about to cry again, Twilight touched her – soggy – foreleg. “It’s alright, Pinkie. What happened?” Pinkie sniffled, her eyes growing wide. “Twilight… it’s gone.” “What is?” “The anime!!” “… What?” “The anime is gone, Twilight!” Pinkie grabbed her shoulders and shook her hysterically. “Somepony has stolen all of the anime!” Pinkie buried her face into Twilight’s chest and sobbed uncontrollably, her frail heart unable to handle the tragedy. She still snuck cookies in between her sobs, though. Twilight craned her neck and shot Trixie a bewildered look while moving her lips. “How could someone steal a TV genre?” Trixie shrugged and mouthed back, “Trixie cannot read lips.” Twilight blinked. “But… you just…” “Twilight, we have to rescue the anime!” Pinkie looked up at her imploringly. “For the good of all Equestria!” “Pinkie, don’t you think that may be an exaggeration?” Twilight lightly pushed her off and used her magic to grab a nearby box of tissues. She took out several tissues and wiped down her chest, grimacing at the matted fur. “I haven’t followed up much on the anime genre since our adventure to Canterlot, but I’m pretty sure that Equestria’s stability doesn’t hinge on its existence. Or even its popularity.” “But it’s stolen, Twilight!” Pinkie cried. “What dastardly deviant can steal an entire genre?” “Okay, that might be a concern if I wasn’t ninety percent sure that I already knew who the culprit might be.” “Why, I am offended that you would jump to suspect me so swiftly.” Two bulging eyes popped out of the tissue box. It might have been surprising several months ago, but Twilight had grown accustomed to such antics. Mostly. “Can you blame me?” Twilight responded with an unimpressed glare. “Discord, what are you playing at now?” “Alas, this time, it really isn’t me,” Discord emerged from the tissue box and hovered in mid-air lackadaisically. “I love anime. Even I’m not cruel enough to deprive ponies of its magnificence. Why, even you grew to enjoy it, didn’t you?” “I came around to it, but I don’t know if I enjoy it as much as you might,” Twilight placed the box down and sat back down at the table to grab a cookie. “I watch it with Trixie from time to time, but I don’t consider myself a real fan.” “Napkin, Twily,” Trixie clucked her tongue as she tied a napkin around Twilight’s neck. “You’re terrible when it comes to crumbs.” “Thanks. Anyway, if it’s such a big deal, then I’m sure you can just snap your claws and bring it back.” “Oh, I could, but where’s the fun in that?” Discord slithered over to an empty space and stretched until he was full size, coiled like some unusually excited slinky. “This is a task suited for you and your friends!” “What? No, it’s not,” Twilight shook her head; clearly, Discord was just trying to get her to do something that would take her away from her precious books. “This is a job for the technicians at Canterlot’s network station.” “Err… perhaps,” Discord swiftly snapped his talons. “However, I fear that they’ve been immobilized by some dastardly villain and are unable to help. So, while you go investigate who might have stolen the anime, I’ll track down this dashing rogue.” “Discord…” “We’re going to save the anime?” Pinkie cried, hope in her watery eyes. “Pinkie, just calm down for a second? Look, Discord – I’ll admit that what happened last time was hardly the worst thing to happen to Equestria. And yes, I enjoyed it at the end,” Briefly, she grinned deviously. “Especially when I got back at everyone. Even so, this is all very sudden and it’s not like it’s the end of the world. Besides, I’m sure this will be resolved on its own. Maybe the signal for anime – which I’m still certain you obtained illegally – was lost due to atmospheric phenomena. Maybe it wasn’t stolen in the first place.” Pinkie shook her head. “Oh no. It’s super stolen, Twily.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. How can you tell that it’s stolen?” A few minutes later… The channel you are looking for has been stolen. We at Canterlot’s Television Network Station will be working on the problem as soon as our technicians have been dug out from cubes of jelly. We apologize for the inconvenience. Twilight stared at the Cakes’ TV set’s black screen and white lettering. “I don’t which baffles me more: that a channel has been stolen, or that they have a broadcast for something so specific.” “I’m innocent of this thievery, young Twilight,” Discord lifted his paw and drew a red X on his chest. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my- owie!” “Okay, I believe you. So, if it wasn’t you, then someone else must have done it. I suppose a sufficiently powerful unicorn could craft an enchanted crystal that could trap the wavelength that this specific channel uses, but they would have to-” Buurrrp! Spike caught the parchment before it could fall and read it aloud while waving his hand to get rid of the smoke. “Hey, a letter from Princess Celestia.” “What…?” Twilight almost jumped out of her skin. “When did you get here?” “O-kay, just gonna ignore that before it gets awkward. Ahem… ‘My dearest friend, Twilight Sparkle – a grave matter has come to my attention regarding a brand of animated genre known as ‘anime’, which I am sure you are familiar with given the events from only a few months ago. While we could argue day and night over whether or not it was necessary to invoke Clover the Clever’s theorems as part of I and the others’ punishment considering our roles in those events, I would rather we immediately address the issue at hoof’…” Spike frowned. “If she thinks that, then why’d she bring it up?” Twilight shrugged. “Keep reading.” “Hm… ‘I have received news that the anime genre has been inexplicably removed from all broadcasting stations across Equestria. Furthermore, a recent missive from the Griffon Kingdom informs me that they are experiencing similar circumstances and have been so for the past two days’.” “The Griffon Kingdom as well?” Twilight furrowed her brow in concern and touched her lips. “This is more widespread than I thought.” “‘The High King asks for our assistance in this dreadful time’…” “And more serious than I thought.” “… ‘As one Marquees is a huge fan and is being really annoying about finding out what’s going on. The High King tells me that he is a very lazy bird and does not want to do anything very strenuous on his part’.” “Okay, it’s actually a little concerning that they have an authority figure like that.” “‘I implore you and your friends to find the cause of this crisis. I would be happy to assist you personally, but I’m afraid my hooves are tied up here in Canterlot; it seems that Prince Blueblood’s rivalry with birds has reached the breaking point and there is now war in the streets. My sister cannot help, either, as she is sleeping and throws pillows at my face when I attempt to wake her. As you might imagine, I have no defense’…” Twilight looked at Discord. “Are you sure you’re not doing any of this?” “Afraid not,” Discord shrugged, sending his shoulders into the ceiling. “Odd, isn’t it? Well, I always said everypony has a little bit of chaos in them somewhere. It’s the building block of change, after all!” “I guess. Go on, Spike.” “Right. ‘However, I can arrange free transport to wherever your adventure takes you: simply send a letter to me providing details of your need, and I shall grant it. I wish you and your friends luck, my friend. Sincerely, Princess Celestia’.” Spike squinted at the bottom of the parchment. “‘P.S. If Discord is the one causing all of this, ignore everything I said and tell him to put the anime back on before I punch him’.” “Well, I guess it’s official now,” Twilight sighed. “Anime has been stolen, and we need to find out who it is. Any ideas where to look?” Suddenly, the lounge room couch’s cushions flew into the air as a crazy mess of pink hair popped out. Twilight yelped and jumped up to cling to the ceiling. “Ooh, ooh! I know! We should start at the source of the anime!” Pinkie leapt out from the couch, pulled out a miniature globe from her mane, and pointed at a spot. “Right here.” Twilight let out a shaky exhale and carefully detached from the ceiling, wincing as bits of plaster sprinkled down when she flapped her wings to descend. “If you’ll give me a second for my heart to calm down…” She sighed and looked at the globe, gently nudging Pinkie’s hoof aside. “A land mass between Equestria and the Griffon Kingdom? That could only be…” “Neighpan!” Discord cried exuberantly. “Why, that’s where I got into anime in the first place! I remember my first visit there: so many ponies and griffons yelling at me because I replaced the sidewalks with banana peels. Good times.” “Neighpan is the birthplace of anime, so to speak,” Twilight rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “If anybody would know anything about anime disappearing, then that’s our best shot for answers,” Nodding firmly, Twilight felt a sense of adventure swelling up in her breast and smiled as she pointed to the ceiling. “It’s settled. Go tell the girls, Pinkie – we’re going to Neighpan!” Pinkie squealed in delight and raced outside. “Woohoo! Epic quest time!” “Hey, Twilight, can I come this time? I don’t really have anything to do at the library.” “Weren’t you supposed to clean that pile of shed scales?” Spike shrugged. “I don’t really have anything I want to do at the library.” “Fine,” Twilight rolled her eyes. “You can come. Remember to send a letter to Celestia telling her we need to get to Neighpan. And just know that the second we get back, you’re cleaning that pile.” “Fair enough. Guess I’ll go get packing. I’ll tell Trixie, so don’t worry about it.” “Thanks, Spike.” Once the little dragon was out the door, Discord minimized himself and settled on Twilight’s shoulder, casually rubbing a nail filer against his claws. “You and the braggart seem to be getting along well. Honestly, I’m a little annoyed that I lost my bet with Rainbow Dash.” “You two bet on my relationship with Trixie?” Twilight scowled darkly and blew him off with a puff. Discord flopped onto the carpet with nary a blink. “Oh, come now – everypony was drawing their own estimates; the difference is that Rainbow Dash and I also included material items. Namely bits. Besides, my bet was that you’d end up sending her to the moon after two weeks of ‘great and powerful this and that’, so aren’t you happy to have proven me wrong?” “I guess. I still don’t appreciate the idea of you and my friends betting on aspects of my personal life.” “You have to admit it’s rather quaint. You and Trixie didn’t get along at first from what I heard. The second meet-up wasn’t all butterflies and rainbows either, what with the whole ‘sealing Ponyville off in a giant dome’ shtick. Hardly something you’d forget, but not exactly the best way to start off a romantic relationship,” Discord snorted and teleported back onto her shoulder. “But what do I know? I’m just a terribly handsome draconequus stuck in the old days of chocolate rain and candy clouds.” Twilight sighed; no use in flicking him off again. “You’re right. I didn’t think Trixie and I would get along either, but it’s been… surprisingly pleasant. We have more in common than I thought. Yeah, she still likes to boast and… sometimes it gets annoying, but according to books I’ve read about relationships, our one has all the signs of being adequate.” “‘Good enough’ is the standard for relationships nowadays?” “Hey, considering it’s my first, I think it’s pretty good. Anyway, what makes you an expert?” “Have you seen this mug, Sparkle-butt? I had to beat the masses off with a stick in some parts of the world.” To emphasize his point, he held up the object in question. “That’s not a stick, Discord. That’s a mace.” “Well, you just have to learn to respect other creatures’ opinions.” “It’s made of metal and it’s rusted!” Discord tossed the subjective item away. “Whatever.” “Look – just keep your nose out of my personal life, please?” “Oh, very well,” Huffing, Discord snapped his talons and returned to full size. “I suppose I’ll go search for this other villain who encased those poor ponies in jelly. Hmm… I think the best place to look would be the bowling alley.” “Try a mirror.” “Oho, sarcasm! There’s hope for you yet!” Twilight rolled her eyes and looked away as Discord disappeared in a burst of radiant light. Well, if they were going to Neighpan, then she should go pack her things and get somepony to substitute as librarian. Knowing Pinkie, she would have likely informed half their friends by now of their unexpected adventure. Twilight smiled to herself as she strode out of the Cakes’ household. “Neighpan… I haven’t been there before. Hopefully, we can get some cultural learning alongside our quest. I’ve always wanted to learn Neighpanese…”