//------------------------------// // Okay, Now I'm ACTUALLY a Truck // Story: Lily Valley Turns Into a Truck // by Super Trampoline //------------------------------// BOOM! She was a truck, in the Human world! In one of the industrial lots in northern Artesia. Like maybe along the Artesia road itself north of the Five freeway right on the border of Orange and LA County where the 5 transitions from having a bunch of lanes on the OC side and having a bunch of construction on the LA side. She was a truck because she was a robot, and those mirror portal things always make for weird transitions. Like, what would happen if a hippogryph went through the mirror portal? We'll never know because hippogryphs don't actually exist. But rather than look like a Transformer in a crappy Michael Bay movie that critics panned but still did excellently at the box office, especially in the foreign market (big action explosion movies lose less in translation than a small scale dramatic period piece, and thus tend to do really well in markets like China.) Anyway, she didn't look like that. For though she had a truck body, she also had pink pony legs in place of wheels, and a face seemlessly plastered onto or perhaps in place of the front of the cab. What a queer sight. What a fantastical chimera of pony and machine! Lilly landed with a bang and the ground shock beneath the weight of the truck pony. Ten tons of fleshshe's a robot remember. Ten tons of gears and pistons and servos and steel. Being a more modern robot pony truck, Lily had internal GPS, and like a homing pigeon, after a few seconds of searching the internet which was seemlessly integrated into her mind like a transhumanist's wet dream, knew exactly where Twin Panda Bowls was. Thus having her destination at hoof, she sprang into action, galloping down one of those roads that is really wide but only has two lanes so that trucks can make their wide turns into warehouse lots and the like. She screeched to a stop at a stop sign, knowing what it was intuitively through her web-integrated mind despite never previously having seen one before. But I mean, let's be honest, it's a fucking stop sign; it's pretty self-explanatory. However, a regular horse might not know that this stop sign is not a permanent injunction, but rather a merely temporary impedance. Click clack pound pound!, her large mechanical fore and aft legs pounding in graceful gallops down the street. Drivers sat there mouths agape, some peeing themselves in terror. A giant fucking truck pony was kind of slightly gracefully bounding down the street. People were starting to freak out and crash and get out of their cars and other things not conducive to the flow of traffic. But then Lily valley remembered this was all imaginary and so she imagined all the traffic flowing at the perfect speed and density and she bounded and I'm using that word a lot and bounded down the five freeway and it was really fucking majestic like look I'm going to just crib from Miazaki here. It looked like this, except as a pony truck instead of a cat bus: ... Okay Studio Ghibli must be real copyright hardasses because I can't find the catbus on youtube. So here's a link to the great My Neighbor Totoro catbus scene on Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/15166847 Anyway, She bounded (fuck I got to stop using that word) down the freeway to Garden Grove for about twenty minutes and then she got there and got off at Harbor Boulivard and turned into the strip mall parking lot. and she had Chinese food and it was delicious, the End!