//------------------------------//
// Derpy Hooves Steals a Muffin Truck 
// Story: Not Another Equestria Girls Fic 
// by Admiral Biscuit 
//------------------------------//

Derpy Hooves Steals a Muffin Truck
Admiral Biscuit

Naturally, word of Pinkie Pie's exploits were soon known all around school.

Since the theft of the Entenmann's truck had been consequence-free—as many things are in magical horse girl land, other CHS students tried similar shenanigans.

Sonata, unsurprisingly, stole a taco truck.  After she put the tagline “Taste Sonata's Juicy Taco” on her truck, she was never lacking for customers.

But that's a story for a later time.

This is a story about a certain grey-skinned blonde girl with derpy golden eyes.

Like all the students at CHS, Derpy had heard all the gossip.  Even if she hadn't, everyone except Snails had noticed how the entire student parking lot was now full of delivery trucks, food trucks, and various service vehicles.  And Flash Sentry's Camaro.

Anyhow, Derpy was walking home from school one day.  She couldn't get a driver's license because of her vision, and while she she could have taken the bus, she didn't mind walking.  She liked meeting people on the street, and she had dreams of one day being a mail carrier.

They say that fortune favors the bold, and that's generally true.  Fortune is a capricious  lady, though, and she sometimes just favors whoever happens to be in the right place at the right time.

Thus it was that on her way home, Derpy saw a delivery truck that practically had her name on it—there on the side, in big letters, it said “Muffins.”

It also said other things, which we'll get to later.

Derpy crossed the parking lot, not with any sense of malice; she just wanted to get a closer look at a muffin truck and perhaps bask in its glory.

While she was basking, she happened to notice that the keys were in it.

Derpy is a good girl, but she's no saint.  Besides, this is consequence-free magical girl land, so of course she stole the truck.

Despite never having driven a motor vehicle before, she had no trouble with it--the controls were simple and intuitive.  She was conscientious enough to keep one eye on the road and one eye on her mirrors at all times.

It was only when she'd arrived safely home, parked the truck, and set the parking brake that she went back to check her booty.

She'd had a vague suspicion all the way home that things weren't quite as they seemed.  While she didn't have as good a nose as a pony version of herself would have had, certainly with an entire 16' Utilimaster full of muffins she should have smelled something.

Woe unto our poor protagonist, for when she went into the back of the truck, she discovered it was full of hockey puck-shaped breakfast bread. She'd accidentally stolen a truckload of Thomas' English Muffins.

“I just don't know what went wrong,” she moaned.

MORAL:  Fortune can be a cruel bitch.