//------------------------------//
// Degree of Trust 
// Story: Grief is the Price We Pay 
// by Scyphi 
//------------------------------//

            In lieu of support from her friends then, Twilight ultimately redoubled her efforts to urge Princesses Celestia and Luna to allow her to play a more central part in the search for Spike and Thorax, or, failing that, allow her to be kept more closely in the loop of what was happening than she presently was. Twilight confessed that was perhaps the hardest part of all of this, the fact that she simply did not know what was happening beyond her own increasingly shrinking roles in it…and she was starting to suspect there was a reason behind it. Thanks to a magical-based letter sending system Twilight had set up some moons before to use in the stead of Spike’s firebreath, this correspondence was very rapid-paced, with several letters being sent back and forth in the space of a day. However despite all those letters, neither Celestia nor Luna seemed willing to come forward to elaborate through for the remainder of that same day, either sending back responses to Twilight’s letters urging her patience while giving general non-answers.

            By the morning following her friends all withdrawing their support on Twilight’s course of actions though, Celestia finally relented slightly and revealed in her next letter to Twilight that the reason she had been keeping her out of the loop was because Luna had been “following a lead that could shed new light on the matter.” If so, then the very nature of the whole situation could have very well changed and thus required further investigation and the obtaining of additional facts. Celestia did not want to give Twilight all the details yet though, fearing it would get her hopes up unnecessarily should it all prove false or lead nowhere fruitful. Therefore, to Twilight’s frustration, Celestia did not explain just what this “lead” Luna was apparently following even was.

            This was not without trying though; the next few messages Twilight sent back to Celestia after being told all of this were all to press for more details. When Celestia wouldn’t acquiesce to Twilight’s persisting though, Twilight decided to ask the mare herself and sent a letter directly to Luna, inquiring for details on what it was she and Celestia were apparently investigating. Luna was just as refusing to tell however, and to Twilight’s surprise, she also politely withdrew her support from Twilight’s handling of the matter, on the grounds that it was “incorrect” given what she had learned from her still-unrevealed lead. She was further “disconcerted” about Twilight’s manner of behavior as of late, and simply said she felt it better “for the good of both Spike and yourself” that Twilight not be involved for now, and urged her to instead seek to “recollect yourself.” She refused to say more to Twilight beyond that, citing much the same reason as Celestia; whatever the two sisters were doing, they didn’t want to get Twilight’s hopes for something they couldn’t yet guarantee would actually come to pass. And with Twilight already being in “a troubling spot” as it was, Luna reasoned that neither she nor Celestia wished to contribute to it.

            However, Luna did at least admit that she didn’t like excluding Twilight from the affair like this. “I know this feels unfair to you and indeed, you should have the right to be included in this matter,” she wrote to Twilight. “But you attempts to force a resolution have become too detrimental, and we fear it would only continue if we permit you continued access in this search. Therefore, for the time being, to ensure that does not come to pass, the only solution we have at present is to exclude you from these proceedings for now. I hope it will not have to be permanent.” Her words were of a mild comfort to Twilight as it suggested this wasn’t being done out of malice but rather concern for her own well-being…but that comfort only went so far, and Twilight was still highly dissatisfied with the situation.

            So this eventually led Twilight back to trying to pry more information out of Celestia, her last real major source of information in the matter, and when Celestia continued to politely refuse by instead pleading for patience from Twilight, Twilight started to accuse her of turning her back on her too. Getting a reaction out of that, Celestia then quickly explained in her next letter that this wasn’t the case at all—she was only taking a more neutral stance for now while continuing to investigate further still until definitively picking a side. And that was simply going to take time. Regardless though, Celestia agreed with Luna; Twilight was letting herself get far too emotionally tied to the matter, feared it was not only clouding her thinking but also jeopardizing Equestria’s good standing “as well as your own,” and was overall too closely involved to ensure she could continue personally handling the matter with the proper tact and open mind it was now clear it required.

            Celestia even admitted that she feared the matter had “already been mishandled.” Therefore, she pleaded Twilight permit herself to be moved aside so to allow herself, Luna, and the royal guard to handle the search themselves, bringing in “a fresh view” on the matter. When anything worthwhile was uncovered, Celestia promised Twilight would be notified immediately. She, too, knew that Twilight wouldn’t like this and was in some ways unfair for her to have to face. “Unfortunately, the situation is such that at this time, I have few other options I can do that wouldn’t be much worse than this for you,” she wrote. “Please understand that I do this not out of malice, Twilight, but in an attempt to try and spare you worse punishments. After all, I feel the blame is certainly not solely yours to bear. Please do not think that it is.”

            But she went on to also allude that there had been direct complaints in regards to Twilight’s behavior as of late, influencing this response as it made it a matter Celestia could not ignore, but again she refused to elaborate on the particulars of these complaints for now. “We will discuss it further later, hopefully once the worst of this is over,” she promised. Still not entirely content with these responses though, Twilight at one point decided to try and bypass the royal sisters altogether by inquiring for details directly from the head staff of the royal guard, especially those who had been assigned to lead the search for Spike and the changeling. Unfortunately, her inquiries were immediately rejected as Celestia had already anticipated Twilight doing this and had ordered the staff of the royal guard to relay nothing to Twilight other than that the search was still ongoing, and that all would be revealed at the completion of the investigation, but not before. Upon turning back to Celestia one final time for answers after this led to Celestia finally revealing that she had by now learned of Twilight’s near-disastrous confrontation with Princess Ember. She left the consequences that would have to follow only implied, but she still made it very clear she simply could not ignore that it had happened, and could not tolerate it taking place. She additionally conveyed, for the first time, that she also bore a strong sense of disapproval on how the situation in Vanhoover had been handled without at least consulting her first too.

            Finally, she did declare that she feared “evidence was increasingly arising” that things were not at all as Twilight believed, and while she worked to confirm the whole story behind this, she urged Twilight to think that perhaps the time had come to “consider that perhaps there never was a threat to Equestria at all.” “I honestly would prefer it that way and would rather have that than the alternative,” she wrote to Twilight, wanting her to see the same. But as Twilight hadn’t thus far, Celestia repeated that she had little choice but to block Twilight’s involvement and control of the matter “henceforth, until such time that the situation has changed.” Thus the matter was out of Twilight’s hooves now. From there, Celestia’s letters would only repeat the same as before: that the investigation was ongoing and that Twilight would be told more once more had been learned. Until then, she was to wait.

            After that final letter, any further pleas Twilight sent to Celestia were not responded to, the princess of the sun going oddly and abruptly quiet.

            Thus, beyond a vague note that Fly Leaf, still in custody back in Vanhoover, was apparently still telling her version of events to anyone who would listen, Twilight was forced to concede she had been cut out of the matter entirely, and it frustrated her greatly. She still adamantly believed that her actions had been in the right, at least given the information she had known at the time, and more importantly thought the search wasn’t being pursued aggressively enough and was as such unfair and dangerous for Spike’s continued safety.

            And it certainly didn’t help Twilight’s temper when the crystal map suddenly stopped responding to Twilight entirely at around the same time…even though it would still respond just fine to everyone other than Twilight, including Starlight who normally didn’t get involved in map matters since abusing it in her past time travel escapades.

            Nonetheless, despite fears that she’d try again to take matters into her own hooves, Twilight ultimately relented to the requests of the princess sisters, as much as she didn’t want to, admitting that at this point, she had little other choice. But while Twilight sat around and sulked, Starlight was struck by how after all that correspondence Celestia would just up and stop replying to Twilight’s letters like that. She didn’t know Celestia as well as Twilight did, of course, but Starlight had gotten to know the princess of the sun enough to know Celestia didn’t typically give one the cold shoulder, no matter how much one might deserve it. She had even seen Celestia voluntarily continue a conversation with Discord for hours even though Discord spent all of it teasing Celestia about awkward things she clearly didn’t want to discuss at her expense, and indeed could clearly see was only fueling Discord’s antics further by continuing the conversation like she did. Yet she did it anyway. So for her to stop communicating with Twilight like this, a pony Celestia obviously held in much higher regard, seemed more than a little unusual.

            Starlight decided to take it upon herself then to try and contact Celestia via the same methods as Twilight, reporting in on Twilight’s present status and inquiring if the lack of communication with Twilight was really wise to promote right now. Unfortunately, she got no response back from Celestia either, who seemed to have put herself into some sort of communications blackout. However, where Celestia wouldn’t respond, Luna would, writing back a lengthy letter that explained the situation more, but did so with the understanding that Starlight would not publicize what she was told  due to the political sensitivity things were presently in, and she assured she was not exaggerating that.

            There were still things Luna would not explain to Starlight, among which was the “lead” both she and Celestia alluded to following, but she assured that it did exist, and Luna thought it still held “promise.” “Unfortunately,” she wrote, “I will confess that we seem to have hit a roadblock on that lead due to Twilight’s actions in Vanhoover, and I am left forced to compensate by starting almost back at square one and begin again my search.” She did not elaborate further, so Starlight was left wondering what was meant by “search”—she assumed she meant the physical search for Thorax and Spike she knew was already ongoing…but then Luna proceeded to speak of that same search as if it was a separate thing. So if not that, just what was Luna searching for? Her only clue was Luna confirming it involved “matters you would not have experience in, I’m afraid,” going on to write that “given the sensitive nature of the matter, it is best you leave such things to one who does have that experience. And as I believe Celestia has already conveyed, it may yet prove to be a fruitless endeavor, or at least one no longer needed as it is not the only plan we are pursuing. In the meantime though, I regret that we have bigger matters to focus on.”

            She then proceeded to elaborate what that meant, establishing again that things were politically and diplomatically tense for her and her sister because of everything that had transpired. As such, Luna began by apologizing on her sister’s behalf, explaining that this had all had deeply affected Celestia, and she had lately abruptly become distant and non-conversing as a result during the day, secluding into her work trying to sort this all out. “I fear as deeply for her well-being as I do for Twilight’s at present time,” Luna wrote to Starlight. “I have been trying to give her as much support as I can in this affair, and I hope you are doing likewise for Twilight…but Celestia has become very engrossed in these affairs, and is not always willing to…talk.”

            And while that was very worrying for Luna, she could at least partly understand her sister’s reasons, as there was a lot on her mind presently. Citizens in Vanhoover had complained about the disruptions caused during Twilight’s time in the city to their mayor, who in turn passed these complaints on to Celestia along with a few of his own. Worse, Starlight learned that after leaving her foul meeting with Twilight, Ember had passed through Canterlot and dropped a notice summarizing in brief the disastrous meeting with the purple alicorn, clearly conveying the dragoness’s extreme distaste for how it had gone and reiterating the same threat she had made to Twilight; any Equestrian attempts to take Spike or Thorax back by force would be considered an act of war.

            Through that notice, word got out to the nobility that Twilight nearly started a war with the dragons over the matter of Thorax, and even though they similarly thought that the changeling was not to be trusted, they were still outraged at this incident and were now actively pressuring Celestia to take immediate disciplinary actions against the princess of friendship. Some of the especially extreme in this group were demanding Celestia do something to revoke Twilight’s alicorn state as if this was even an option (it was not; alicornhood was achieved entirely through the natural forces of magic exerting themselves upon a pony at its whims and not the whims of others, often in response to the actions of the individual in question—in other words, alicornhood could not be artificially achieved or undone by any pony) or that Celestia even wished to resort to such tactics.

            And Luna assured Starlight that she very much did not. In fact, Celestia was very adamant that Twilight could not take the full brunt of the blame, insisting that she was just as much to blame for permitting this to get so bad without check. However, she also felt it was not the time for such talk yet, wanting to first resolve the matter with Spike and Thorax and, if possible, bring them safely back so to seek a diplomatic solution to try and make amends for the serious errors more than one pony had done to them. Upon doing so, Luna said it was their hope that they would then know both sides of the story in full and wouldn’t further risk acting unadvisedly due to a lack of information.

            Unfortunately, Luna didn’t have to tell Starlight that this was easier said than done. Ember, of course, had given absolutely no clues about where the two were presently, and after her departure had left no clues on even where she was currently. Celestia had already tried to contact the dragoness via letters in hopes of working things out, but to no avail. The best guess they had to work off of was that she, Spike, and Thorax were all in the Dragon Realms by now, and so Luna explained that Celestia had sent a messenger into the region in hopes of establishing contact with them there. All they could do until then was to wait, and it was quite nerve-racking for them to do so, as Luna admitted to Starlight that she feared Ember would refuse to work with them.

            “This wouldn’t especially surprise me, truthfully,” Luna explained in her letter. “But I do worry the cause is simply due to a traditional dragon belief that one finished what they started, and to expect the same from others. Dragon Lord Ember has started this with Twilight, thereby she expects Twilight to be the one to make the effort to try and finish it, wanting only Twilight to come to her if a resolution was truly desired. Anyone else will not be acceptable, and thus dragging out this matter. If so, then I fear the most we can try is attempt to convince her that Celestia and I can achieve the same goals. If Ember still refuses, then we will have to resort to other tactics that will be much less simple.” Starlight worried this meant they would have to figure out a way to get Twilight to cooperate with the scheme, a tall order seeing Twilight was currently still very critical of Ember among many other things.

            Then, above all, Luna revealed that they worried they did not yet have adequate evidence proving Thorax’s innocence. By now, she and Celestia were personally and reasonably assured that he was, enough that they were willing to talk it over with them if they could get the chance. But for others, especially the nobility that bore enough political control to resist, it was feared it still wouldn’t be enough to sway them. They needed more to build a sound case in Spike and Thorax’s defense. Luna had put most of her personal focus on doing this. She did not say in her letter how successful she was being.

            Luna then became more frank with her feelings on the matter with Starlight, admitting how very grave she felt, and just how much the whole incident had unsettled her too. “I am frankly shocked by just how much we have been in error over this,” she admitted in her letter. “Just how could this all have happened in Equestria, and under our watch, no less?” Luna even privately conveyed to Starlight, on the grounds that she would keep it completely secret, that there had already even been private talk between her and her sister that they weren’t certain the matter even could be resolved now, due to just how seriously things had gone wrong.

            But while Luna accepted a share of the blame for the mess herself, much like how Celestia did, she still had to attribute much of the blame on how Twilight had handled the matter, especially as of late. “I take no joy doing so,” she pressed to Starlight. “But I must face the facts of the matter, and those are that Twilight remains the instigator at the very heart of this matter.” In short, Twilight’s increasingly unstable behavior wasn’t helping, and the two sisters had to force her out of the search for Thorax and Spike first and foremost simply in an attempt at damage control. It was still too soon if it would help in any meaningful way at this point though. “We may have acted too late as it is,” Luna confessed in her letter, and Starlight was forced to wonder if she wasn’t right.

            Which brought Luna to why she was sending the letter to Starlight in the first place; she had fears that this was only going to work up Twilight even more, and she was already in quite a precarious state—even Celestia had agreed this was among the worst she had ever seen of Twilight. Starlight learned that even Shining Armor and Princess Cadance, though they obviously still had their strong misgivings about Thorax and stood behind the decision to banish the changeling, were shocked to learn through Luna of Twilight’s behavior and that it seemed to be driving Spike further away, something the two did not want happening (they, like Twilight, lamented that they had allowed Spike to go with Thorax, and wanted to bring him back if at all possible). Their alarm was such that Shining had volunteered to come down to Ponyville so to talk it over with Twilight, but he and Luna were uncertain if it would even help. Starlight herself feared it might not, given how Twilight and Shining had not been on the best of terms ever since the banishment, Twilight having pinned the blame for Spike and Thorax’s escape from the Crystal Empire on her brother for some moons now. And Starlight certainly didn’t want Shining Armor to waste all his time coming only to find he would be of no real assistance, not when the prince no doubt still had concerns of his own to attend to in the Crystal Empire.

            And with that in mind, Luna ended her letter by wishing to task Starlight, as well as Starlight’s friends, to do everything they can to try and “pull Twilight back from the brink, as doing so can only help us resolve this matter favorably for all parties that much sooner.” To do this, she requested that they not worry about the search for Spike and Thorax at all for now; she and Celestia would continue to handle that matter until such time new developments forced a change. In the meantime, Luna wanted them to get back to their normal lives as much as possible and engage in any and all activities that would help to relieve the strain they had all been put through. If any social events were to take place in or around Ponyville soon, they were heavily urged to take part in them, to the point that Starlight almost wanted to say they were being ordered to for their own good. And above all, they were to continue showing their support as friends in helping Twilight beat this in the best ways they could, because Luna knew from experience that Twilight needed such a thing now more than ever, or her obsessing was only going to get much worse. The more they could bring Twilight back to normal life as before, the better.

            It would be a daunting task, though, as the situation hung over Twilight like a storm cloud and they all could see it from the start, and it unsettled them all. No sooner had they withdrawn their support in Twilight’s little crusade were her friends worrying about her and coming back at soonest convenience, wanting to make sure she was all right. They feared she had taken their departures the wrong way, thinking they were abandoning her when nothing of the sort was taking place. They very much wanted prove that they were all still friends despite this, and as a group they all quickly planned that they would each take some time one on one with Twilight so to talk it over, explain why this had needed to happen.

            Twilight, of course, wasn’t against the visiting as she longed for the companionship of her friends in these rough times…but she was still very bitter on the subject, and it was a matter she didn’t particular wish to discuss, making it abundantly clear that they were not welcome if that was all they were to do. She simply was not in the mood to listen.

            After Applejack and Rainbow Dash were both quickly turned away again during their visits due to them being unable to leave the touchy subject alone, in fact, they all quickly saw that they would have to be careful about approaching the subject. Rarity tried to do so, but likewise struggled, leading to a very awkward conversation between the two that didn’t seem to go anywhere because of it. Fortunately, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie seemed to make some progress as they both separately managed to visit Twilight for over an hour without Twilight turning them away. Starlight was surprised in Fluttershy’s case, because she was the one out of all of them that had since become the most adamant in believing Thorax was completely innocent, having become quick to say so whenever the subject came up. So for her to show such restraint and tact during a chat over tea with Twilight was fairly impressive…though it did lead to them having long moments of silence while they sipped tea. Pinkie, meanwhile, was more concerned in being a friend for Twilight and trying to cheer her up, so avoiding certain topics of conversation wasn’t a problem for her. They spent most of their time playing a board game, and Starlight was pleased to see at one point that it did manage to draw a rare smile out of Twilight. Yet Twilight still remained resolute in her sulking…though she didn’t seem as confident in her stance on the matter as she once was.

            Otherwise, Twilight was behaving herself. She kept mostly to herself and eventually started back into the routine tasks she normally did about her castle…albeit with a somewhat half-hearted manner. But Starlight still feared it wasn’t going to last forever unless one of them managed to seriously talk it out with Twilight. And with Luna having little more she could offer right now, Celestia still out of contact, and Twilight’s other friends having minimal success, it seemed there wasn’t going to be anypony else either able or willing to do it.

            So it was with all of this in mind that Starlight saw it was time for her to try and talk this through with her mentor, urging Twilight to at least see that the matter was still in good hooves and that they didn’t have to be hers…though of course Starlight also hoped to try and get Twilight to see that there was a better way to handling this than what she had been trying to pursue before. If not…Starlight actually had to shudder a little at the implications. She knew she herself had done horrible things just because she wanted “her way.” It was scary to imagine what Twilight might resort to if pressed to that state. Therefore, it was important to Starlight that she do her part to ensure they don’t ever reach that point, and the sooner, the better.

            When she went and sought out her mentor and found Twilight in the upper levels of the castle later that same day after the meeting with Ember, moving boxes of books from a storage room and down a flight of stairs. She suspected that Twilight was doing it in order to try and prove a point, as she was doing so while trying to act uncaring. But even at her angriest, Twilight couldn’t intentionally harm a book, so the boxes she was moving as if careless were instead still getting placed neatly and gently into a stack at the base of the stairs. It would be amusing to watch if Starlight didn’t know the seriousness of the situation.

            She watched Twilight for a moment, waiting until the princess arrived at the bottom of the stairs with the latest box before speaking. “Keeping busy, then?” she asked, trying to sound friendly.

            Twilight glanced in her direction. “Not really,” she admitted bluntly. “But since I’m getting left out of the important things now, I figured I might as well get around to moving these older books to my reference section since, you know, I have the time.”

            Starlight peeked into one the nearby boxes while Twilight stacked the box she was carrying with the others she had brought down. “Older books, huh?” she remarked.

            “Yeah, got to keep the new books front and center after all.”

            Starlight turned to Twilight, giving her a hopefully friendly grin. “Need any help?” she asked.

            “Oh, I could use help for a lot of things, Starlight,” Twilight grumbled darkly, glancing in Starlight’s direction as she started to head up the stairs again. “But for this, no. Anyway, don’t you have your own things that need doing?”

            “Not at the moment,” Starlight replied patiently. “I mean, I admit that will change once Trixie gets here, but…”

            “Trixie?” Twilight stopped and turned to look in puzzlement at Starlight. “Why is Trixie coming here?”

            Starlight opened her mouth to explain, but then paused, uncertain if she should tell Twilight all the reasons. To be honest, she still wasn’t certain just what all of Trixie’s reasons were herself. She had, of course, sent a letter yesterday to Trixie explaining that she suspected the pony Trixie knew as Thornton was really a changeling and asked the stage magician reply back as soon as she could so they could sort out what needed to be done next. She had received Trixie’s response just earlier that same morning, but was surprised to find the response was flat in tone, short, and to the point. Basically, Trixie explained that she did indeed wish to discuss the matter more and that, as she was already in the vicinity of Ponyville, she would head straight there so they could do it in person. She was expected to arrive by the weekend. Which was all fine, but it told Starlight little about what Trixie’s thoughts or emotional state in all of this was. All she could know right now was that it had generated some sort of reaction.

            So for now Starlight decided to keep it simple. “Trixie has a personal matter she needs help resolving that’s interconnected with all of this,” she explained simply. She then grinned hopefully. “But until then, I’m still free to help you. And I really would like to where I can, Twilight.”

            Twilight stubbornly shook her head, turning to resume heading for the stairs. “No offense Starlight, but after recent events…I’m a little hesitant to trust you on that.”

            Starlight sighed. “Twilight, wait,” she said, motioning for Twilight to remain here for a second. “Look…we do need to talk about this. I know this is hard for you and you don’t want to…but you need to know it’s just as hard for us too…and the bad attitude doesn’t help.”

            Twilight, to her credit, looked a little apologetic. She sighed too, moving to join Starlight at the bottom of the stairs. “Sorry, I’m…I’m not trying to take it out on you. Not really. It’s just…” she shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut as a wave of sadness fought to surface on her face. “…I’m desperately worried for Spike…and these days it seems like I’m the only one who cares anymore.”

            “Now that’s not true,” Starlight interjected. “Twilight, we care about Spike too and what’s best for him. That’s why we’ve been pushing you to change tactics. We feel your actions are only going to bring him and you harm, not help him.”

            “It wouldn’t be like that if ponies would just listen to me!” Twilight suddenly snapped, her frustration and anger back again just as soon as it had disappeared. “If we had done this my way from the moment we found out Spike and the changeling had been hiding in Vanhoover, we would’ve gotten him back by now! But no, everyone has to stand in my way and refuse to cooperate!”

            “And there’s a reason for that!” Starlight pressured, concerned. “And we’ve tried to explain, but I think it’s clear you just don’t want to listen to all the possibilities. So until you do…it is better that this be left in the hooves of those who will.”

            “I do listen!” Twilight argued. “I just haven’t heard any possibilities that are even remotely possible in comparison to what’s clearly the truth.”

            “You mean the possibilities that put the changeling in anything less than a bad light,” Starlight summarized. She tilted her head at Twilight. “What do you have so much against him, anyway? I mean, it made sense before when it was a bit more in moderation, but after Vanhoover, now your…fury for him is getting a little unfathomable, Twilight.”

            “It’s because he took Spike from me, and he’s still keeping him away from where he belongs!”

            “No he didn’t!” Starlight frowned. “Twilight, I was there,” she reminded. “The changeling didn’t take Spike, Spike chose to go with him by himself.”

            “That changeling manipulated him into doing that. The changeling may have put him in a hive mind where…”

            “We don’t know that for certain! We all knew that from the start! In fact, Twilight, we’re finding more and more evidence that suggests that was never the case by every passing day.” Starlight turned concerned again, putting a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder, only for Twilight to gently shrug it off. “Look, the fact of the matter is that we need to start considering that the changeling, as hard as it might be for all of us to swallow, might have been telling the truth from the start, and that he actually may have geuninely come here with no nefarious intent after all, and has done none.”

            “Then why are they running?”

            “Because you’re chasing them, Twilight. And you’ve made it quite clear you won’t treat the changeling kindly if you caught up with him.”

            “So why is Spike still with him?”

            “Like he said when they left at the Crystal Empire…Spike’s trying to defend him. And it’s easily that this is the only way they can think of to do it.”

            Twilight glared at Starlight for a moment, not convinced, but under the concerned look Starlight was giving back, the anger eventually caved and Twilight sighed again, looking worried. “Look, Starlight, I just can’t believe the changeling really means no harm. The changelings have done grave things to Equestria in the past, have repeatedly demonstrated that they weren’t afraid to do it again, and they are masters of deception and disguise to boot. The fact that Queen Chrysalis was able to go as long as she did disguised as Princess Cadance at the attempted invasion on Canterlot is frankly shameful.”

            “Yes, but Chrysalis isn’t the same as this changeling,” Starlight pointed out. “And you’re going by the past actions of changelings as a race, who were, quite likely, only following the orders of their leader. It’s not fair to pin full blame on each individual changeling for many of those crimes because you don’t know if they even had a choice in the matter. So it is with our changeling that’s with Spike. From what I’ve been able to learn about him from others who’ve met him, he doesn’t match someone plotting and scheming to bring harm…just someone trying to find a peaceful place in the world to privately live life. And if so…you have to realize your actions as of late are only preventing that. And if that’s what the changeling really wants, shouldn’t we be considering that as an option and be open to it? I mean, I agree, we can’t assume a full-on happy ending for this just yet…but there’s still that chance. A chance that we could actually befriend a changeling for a change. Spike clearly did…maybe the rest of us still can too. We just need to give him that chance.”

            “How can I befriend any changeling after what they’ve done?” Twilight asked, her tone a jumbled mess of accusing, confusion, concern, self-doubting, and even a little curiosity.

            Starlight shrugged, giving the princess an encouraging grin again. “Why not?” she asked. “You’ve managed to befriend a great number of other former enemies despite the grave things they’ve done. You befriended Discord, despite his past attempts to bring ruin to Equestria by flooding it with chaos and his own past manipulations on you and your friends.”

            “To be fair, I’m friends with Discord only in the academic sense,” Twilight reminded. “Otherwise, he still regularly drives me up the wall…and I think he takes secret pleasure in doing it.”

            Starlight was undeterred though. “You also befriended Princess Luna despite her past actions trying to conquer Equestria and shroud it in an eternal night as Nightmare Moon. I’ve heard from the other girls you even went well out of your way to positively support her when no one else was willing in Ponyville once.”

            “Well…” Twilight remarked, turning a little humble. “I wouldn’t say I was really the only one…”

            “And you’ve forgiven others,” Starlight continued. “Sunset Shimmer, Trixie, other dragons including Princess Ember, and most important of all, me.” Starlight showed a tad of regret as she thought back on the past things she was guilty of doing. “After every horrid thing I did you and your friends, but most especially you…you still found it in your heart to forgive me…and I haven’t even been able to do that myself.” She tilted her head at Twilight, confused. “So…why is it so hard to forgive a changeling? Can’t a changeling change, too?”

            Twilight didn’t immediately reply, but she averted her gaze, her expression turning dark. It surprised Starlight and she puzzled over it for a moment, trying to come up with an explanation for it. It wasn’t long before a sinking feeling came upon her, realizing a possibility she didn’t care to think of.

            “Or was it not friendship you were seeking?” she asked aloud suddenly. “Is it instead just you going through the motions of friendship, so to ensure a close eye is kept on those such as me that could still be a danger? You don’t trust us to actually be fully good from here on out and not relapse again?”

            Twilight still didn’t reply right away and continued to keep her gaze averted, clearly appearing conflicted by the subject, and just that was enough to make Starlight’s stomach sink. “Discord did,” Twilight finally pointed out.

            Starlight swallowed hard, not actually wanting to hear the answer to her next question for fear it might be as she dreaded, but she forced herself to ask anyway. “…is that the real reason you took me in as your student?”

            Twilight sighed, hanging her head. “Starlight, you still have plenty of talents that I do truly wish to nurture,” she explained slowly. “I thought it would be beneficial for the both of us…and I genuinely do want to be your friend, then and now. So there’s far more to my reasons to making you my student than just that.”

            Starlight didn’t miss her careful phrasing of her response, either. “But you also aren’t denying it…are you?” When Twilight responded by simply turning her head further away from her student, ashamed, Starlight turned offended. “Twilight,” she breathed in objection, shocked and hurt by this revelation. “That’s not how friendship should work. You should know that better than I do already.”

            Twilight suddenly whipped her head to look directly at Starlight again. “Being friends doesn’t mean being so foolish as to let one’s guard down,” she argued firmly.

            “Of course not,” Starlight agreed readily, moving slowly closer to Twilight as she continued to speak. “But friendship still requires a degree of trust, an ability to trust that we will be able to still make the right decisions in the end, even without your guidance and watching eye, making sure we don’t stray off the path laid out for us. Trust that we are still capable of choosing to be good for ourselves. Trust that we can have the freedom to be ourselves, without the fear that it would only end in disaster.” She had now moved close enough that she put one hoof on Twilight’s shoulder, her expression again turning concerned for her mentor. “The peace and happiness we both want so desperately cannot be found without that trust. Because without it, living in that constant state of fear that those that have wronged you once will only do so again at the first chance given only causes contention and conflict, because you’ve giving no reason for either to be trusted. What happened yesterday with you and Princess Ember is an excellent example of that. Ember reacted the way she had because you wouldn’t trust her and thus had given her no reason to trust you back.”

            “Ember never came here looking for a resolution or any sort of compromise,” Twilight reminded darkly. “She was only here just to complain about how I was doing this, nothing more.”

            “But she also said there would be no peace between us,” Starlight added patiently, “so long as you are the one leading the way. All because you wouldn’t compromise any more than she would, and worse still, from what I overhead, you never even tried. Instead, you proceeded to shatter whatever trust she had held in you.” Starlight tilted her head sadly at the sulking princess. “Twilight, are you even aware of the things your distrust has led and is leading you to do? That forcing your distrust in the changeling upon others has only worsened the matter unnecessarily, for everyone? And just how many ponies have you inadvertently misled from the truth by stressing your distrust so adamantly? Has it ever occurred to you that it’s not the changeling that’s caused all of this trouble, but that perhaps you’ve put yourself through all of this grief by acting the way you have?”

            Twilight snorted skeptically. “Need I remind you that I was not the only one who decreed the changeling untrustworthy back in the beginning?” she reminded. “Shining Armor and Cadance both backed me up on distrusting him and were never in disagreement with me on the matter.”
            “Yes, but that’s not entirely fair of you to stress either,” Starlight argued back. “You know Shining and Princess Cadance would have an understandable bias against changelings because of the events that transpired at the invasion of Canterlot.”

            “What, and I don’t?”

            “I don’t know, Twilight. Do you?”

            Twilight scowled, but Starlight saw a flicker of concern in her eyes. “Of course I don’t,” she muttered.

            “Then shouldn’t that have left you in the perfect position to see that maybe Princess Cadance and Shining may have been letting their own bias blind them to the truth?” Starlight reasoned. “But I remember clearly that you never questioned it once. If anything, you only fueled it in them instead of questioning the truth of what was happening.” Starlight blinked to herself, realizing something else. “And because none of you questioned it, the rest of us didn’t think so either…my gosh, Twilight, you realize we never stopped to even consider that there might have been any sort of alternate explanations for the changeling’s presence and Spike’s support in him back then, right? Maybe if we had, then maybe things wouldn’t have ended in that banishment that has caused so much trouble for us now.”

            “And just what do you expect me to have done?” Twilight questioned. “You said it yourself; Shining and Cadance may have been acting out of bias for the changeling. Assuming I didn’t already agree with that, which I did, what could have I done to change that?”

            “You could’ve spoken up,” Starlight offered. “Suggested that we needed to consider all of the options, and not just latch onto the first. Shining and Princess Cadance are your family. You know they would’ve listened to you if you had just spoken up.”

            “Spoken up about what, though?”

            “That maybe Spike was right…and that this really was a good changeling.”

            “Do you actually believe that could even be true, Starlight?”

            Starlight was quiet for a moment. “I just might, Twilight.”

            “Then why didn’t you speak up?” Twilight asked, confronting her student. “You were there for the banishment too…and I recall you did nothing more than the rest of us to resist the banishment.”

            Starlight averted her gaze in shame. “I know, and I’m starting to wish I had,” she admitted. “But…you are my mentor Twilight…and as such, I saw you as being wiser and more knowledgeable about the subject than I did, and that you knew what you were doing. I felt it wasn’t my place to question things I didn’t think I could justify I really knew better on. So I kept quiet.” She looked back at Twilight again, saddened by her own lack of action. “But given what’s happened since, I want to make it abundantly clear now, Twilight. I did have my doubts. I know Spike fairly well too, and I had a hard time believing he would side with a changeling so readily without a good reason supporting it…and your version of the tale just wasn’t giving me quite enough of that reason. There was always just something amiss about it all that the rest of you just couldn’t quite justify to me. So yes…I had my doubts. And I regret now that I didn’t voice them sooner. I should’ve. But I’m voicing them now, Twilight. And I hope you can find it in yourself to listen to them.”

            Twilight snorted again. “I am listening, Starlight,” she assured sadly. “But isn’t it a little unfair to focus all of this…criticism on just me? Whatever the truth of the matter was, I was not the only one who made the ruling on the banishment. The rest of the royal family has supported it too, so don’t you think they should at least share some of your blame?”

            “Princesses Celestia and Luna weren’t there for the banishment though,” Starlight reminded. “Everything they knew about the matter was from what you told them later, and only your story. They had nothing to suggest there may be more to it to consider until now…they didn’t have all the information. And yes, your brother and Princess Cadance contributed to the ruling too…but I find it worth noting that they’ve stayed largely out of the matter since, deferring to the higher authorities of Equestria to handle the matter. Unlike you, who insists that you are the only one who can fix it and has tried to meddle in every aspect of it constantly until finally you were asked to stay out of it like you have now. Unlike you, the rest of the royal family seems to be considering that there might be more to this matter than you will let yourself do.”

            “I will not take the blame for this,” Twilight persisted. “That changeling still instigated all of this, still played a role in bringing this all about.” She snorted again. “That changeling even wanted to be banished…I should’ve known it was just a trick he was playing me into when he asked me to support the banishment, but…”

            “Wait, wait, hold on…” Starlight interrupted suddenly. “The changeling asked to be banished? Why?”

            Twilight rolled her eyes. “He said he didn’t want to cause any more trouble. Thought trying to fight us further was pointless.”

            Starlight tilted her head at Twilight again. “That doesn’t sound like something someone wanting to cause trouble would say,” she admitted. “Indeed, that only seems to suggest he only wanted to promote peace.”

            “It’s all lies, though, it has to be,” Twilight argued with such confidence she stated it as simple fact. “He also threatened me, warning me of other troubles coming if I banished him, implying Spike would be among them.” She shook her head sadly. “Clearly, he was foretelling Spike was going to follow him into banishment and I was too blind to see it until it was already too late.”

            Starlight rubbed her chin, reflecting on all of this. As she hadn’t been present for this conversation, there was really only so much she could rightly say about it. Nonetheless, one point was still jumping out at her. “Or maybe he was wary of harm coming to Spike if he continued to let Spike be caught up in the center of his conflict…and saw accepting banishment as the way to prevent it.” She shook her head. “At any rate, Twilight, deceived or not, have you ever stopped to consider what all of this has done to Spike’s trust in you? He was clearly counting on you to support him when he chose to defend the changeling…but when you didn’t…”

            “Why do you think I let him go at all, then?” Twilight asked, suddenly turning distraught. “When he made it clear he was going to go with the changeling, I’d thought that if I had done anything to try and stop him at that point…it was only going to push him further away from me. He’d fight and resist…cause any sort of trouble trying to do what he thought needed to be done, not just risking harm to others, but also turning him further against us, seeing us as the enemy. And with the changeling having him so swayed to his side, just what could that changeling have done to use that against us as well, furthering his own plans? I had thought, foolishly at the time, that if I allowed Spike to leave with the changeling for the time being, it’d leave what little trust he had in Equestria intact still, for when we could regroup and retaliate against the changelings properly, prove to him once and for all the changelings meant nothing but harm. Shining agreed, thinking that once the crystal guard found them and had all of the changelings that could’ve been out there secure, we’d then be in a far better place to convince Spike of his errors…I never thought at the time that both he and the changeling were only going to use the chance to attempt the dangerous task of fleeing the area altogether…I had thought they were going to hang around in the vicinity while the changelings plotted, someplace sheltered from the dangers of the Frozen Wastes, we all did or I doubt any of us would’ve even dared consider it for the danger it would’ve put Spike in just going out into such treacherous terrain…but they didn’t, did they?…and that’s when I realized just how much of a mistake it was in letting him go. That’s why I’ve been trying so very hard to get him back ever since, Starlight. In a moment of sympathy for Spike’s wishes, I let him stumble even further down the wrong path. And I just can’t live with myself until I’ve set it right again.”

            Starlight gazed in sympathetic sadness at her mentor for a moment. “I’m sorry Twilight,” she apologized. “I know this all cuts deeper than you can handle…but I also have to ask…what if Spike wasn’t in error at all…and we always were instead?”

            “That can’t be!” Twilight snapped anxiously. “It just can’t! I can’t see any changeling ever being any friend of anyone in Equestria!”

            “And yet Spike has managed just fine as the changeling’s apparent friend,” Starlight pointed out. “Vanhoover proved that. And Twilight…what if he’s been siding with this changeling so much because all of the rest of us have simply betrayed him too much? No matter why he was led to start down that path, after everything we’ve done to him, everything we’ve put him through, from his perspective…” Starlight hesitated, the next words catching in her throat as not even she enjoyed having to say them. “…what makes you think he’d want to do anything with us at this point?”

            Twilight squeezed her eyes shut, fighting back tears. “So what would you have me do about it?” she asked, more demanded.

            “I don’t know,” Starlight admitted. “I wish, for everyone’s sake, that I did. But taking him back by force like you’ve been trying certainly can’t be it.”

            “And why not?”

            “Because that’s not friendship, Twilight! It’s not peace, it’s not trust! And you’re going to need all of those in order to get Spike back now.”

            “How would you know?” Twilight argued, tears starting to flow despite her attempts to keep them back. “You haven’t known friendship like I have!”

            “Then maybe you don’t know friendship as well as you think!” Starlight blurted out before she could stop herself. “Friends don’t do things like this because they don’t want to admit and face that they messed up!”

            A long moment of cold silence then followed, in which Twilight just gaped at Starlight, stunned for her chilling remark. Seeing her face only made Starlight regret saying it instantly, and seeing she had gotten very negative and unsupportive of Twilight with all of her accusing for the past several minutes of the conversation, Starlight decided it was time to switch gears and provide some support like she had originally hoped.

            “Look,” she continued gently, playing with her hooves, “the gist of what I wanted to say is this; I know me and the rest of the girls have all probably seemed like awful friends after what happened yesterday. But we’re only doing it…because we’re such good friends to you, Twilight.” She stopped to lick her lips, pondering how she wanted to phrase this. “Friendship isn’t just blind loyalty to the one friend, after all. Friendship means occasionally having to stand up to your friends and oppose and disagree with them when they start to veer down dark paths, to try and lure such a friend back onto a better path…because we are friends. Twilight, we care for you as our friend so much that we don’t want to see you hurt yourself doing what is ultimately the wrong decision. You deserve better than that. Unfortunately…we didn’t see any other way to do it…but to stop doing anything that would support you in your attempts to go down those dark paths. We’re only doing this Twilight, because we want to see you on a better path than that.”

            Twilight was quiet for a long moment. “…so we’re all still friends, then?” she asked softly, looking a little reassured.

            “Of course we are, Twilight,” Starlight said with an encouraging grin. “And we want to help you, too. We haven’t abandoned you. We just…can’t follow you on the path you’ve chosen. We’re trying to show you that, just maybe, there are better ways to follow…and we’d like it if you’d take the time to seriously consider them.”

             Twilight nodded to herself slowly, wiping her eyes with the back of her hooves. She still seemed to have doubts about what the truth could be though. “But Starlight,” she murmured softly, “how do you know? How do you know that my way really is the wrong way, and it’s not your way that is in fact the wrong way, and we’d only be leading ourselves into a changeling trap following it? How do you know?” 

            Starlight considered the question for a moment. “I suppose I don’t,” she admitted with reluctance. “Not definitively. But…I do have faith that it is right, or at least much closer to it. Above all…it just feels like it’s the right thing to do.” She gave Twilight an encouraging grin, resting her hoof on the princess’s shoulder again. “Can you please at least give it some serious thought?”

            Twilight was quiet for a moment then slowly nodded her head. “Okay,” she agreed.

            Starlight’s grin grew. “That’s all we ask, for now,” she promised.

            They sat in silence for a long moment, pondering the matter to themselves. Twilight snuffled a few times and wiped her nose with the back of her hoof. Her gaze then wandered to the nearby window, blankly staring out it. Eventually though, her brow furrowed and she rose to trot up to it.

            Starlight, puzzled, followed. “What’s up?” she asked

            “That,” Twilight responded as she pointed a hoof at a distant and dark speck in the sky, appearing to be getting bigger. “Can you tell what it is?”

            Starlight squinted her eyes at it for a second. “A parasprite?” she asked aloud, but then shook her head. “No, it’s clearly too big for that…”

            Twilight kept squinting at it for a second until the object grew bigger as it speedily loomed closer, at which point her eyes went wide with alarm. “Get down!” she declared, ducking down behind the windowsill.

            Starlight quickly followed, and did so just in time for a grey pegasus mare to zoom through the open window and slam into the stack of boxes Twilight had been moving, throwing the books within everywhere. Starlight and Twilight rose to their hooves again, moving towards the mess as the pegasus kicked a box that had fallen atop of her off, revealing her identity. Starlight recognized her as Ponyville’s local mail carrier, but also realized that she still hadn’t gotten the poor mare’s name down. What was it—Derpy? Ditzy? Muffins?

            Whatever her name was, she was unfazed by the crash and cheerily carried on with her job, silently pulling a letter out from her bag and offering it towards the two mares with a grin. “Oh, a letter!” Twilight declared in understanding, taking a step closer to take it with her magic. “Finally, maybe Princess Celestia has found something in the search she can tell me for a change…”

            But the grey mail carrier wouldn’t let go of the letter as Twilight tried to tug it away with her magic. Once Twilight released her hold on it, the mare shook her head politely at Twilight to show the letter wasn’t for her and instead turned to Starlight, offering it directly to her.
            “For me?” Starlight asked, surprised, as she hadn’t been expecting any mail, not by traditional mail carrier at least. But when she accepted the letter in her magic and brought up to her face, she saw her name was indeed prettily written upon the front of the envelope, though the writing was unfamiliar. She proceeded to open the flap and pull out the piece of parchment within. “But…who’d be sending me a letter…?”