Day 1
Honey Bun was holding the baby who cried for the second hour straight.
“Come on, what the heck else do you need? I fed you already, and you had enough sleep, as far as I estimated! What else?”
She tried to sway the baby from side to side, but it didn’t make any effect on cryings.
“Celestia, give me strength… ”
The earth pony suddenly smelled something really unpleasant. As if, coming out of nowhere.
“What the… ew, smells horrible. Where is it coming from? Wait...”
She held her face closer to the baby and finally found the source of smell.
“Eww, gross! Can’t you just give me a sign that you want to be excused? Seriously, pony babies can do it a day after they were born! Ah, forget it, where those darn towels are...”
Day 6.
Honey Bun was lying in her bed, sleeping tight.
“Waah! Waah!”
She instinctively closed her ears with her hooves, trying to protect herself from the most horrible noise the nature has ever produced.
“It’s just a bad dream. A nightmare. If I just close my ears and wait, it’ll go away...”
Several minutes have passed, but when the earth pony stopped covering her ears, she heard those screams again, more louder this time. Her ears dropped and her lower lip started to quiver.
“So this is how it feels -- being in Tartarus...”
Day 14
“Now, be a good girl and eat this special baby food I’ve been searching for the whole week, galloping all around the town and nearly being killed by the shop owners for harassing them forty times per day!”
She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down.
“Calm down, Honey Bun, calm down. You have me and together there are two of us. We can do it!”
She looked at the baby who refused to swallow even a portion of food.
“Hey, look! Here comes an earth pony, who has been sleep deprived for the last two weeks! There she goes, flying like crazy!”
She tried to land a spoon with food she held into the baby’s mouth but instead the spoon with food flew into her mane, when said baby hit Honey Bun’s hoof with a very unamused expression.
Which turned into an amused one in seconds, when she started to laugh at the earth pony’s look, with a spoon stuck in her mane and baby food all around her.
“Very funny.”
Honey Bun crossed her forelegs with a grumpy expression on her face, which made the girl laugh even harder for a reason the pony could not even begin to fathom.
Day 26
Daisy and Minty were sitting in the open cafe, enjoying their tea and waiting for their friend, Honey Bun, to appear.
“Finally! I started to think that she will never be able to hang out with us, ever since she’s got that alien baby.” Minty said, slurping her tea with the flavour of mint and lemon.
“I mean, it’s not that demanding, for Celestia’s sake! I’m speaking from experience, since I raised twins myself, at the same time. Sure, I had Carrot to help me out, but there were two of them and two of us. Makes sense, right?”
Daisy nodded.
“I agree. It’s strange that she- oh gosh… Is this… Honey Bun?!”
Both girls stared at the approaching mare with wide eyes, mouths hang open.
Honey Bun looked as if she was hot from the war with yaks, dragons, wendigos and Chrysalis at the same time. Her mane would’ve become a valuable lot in some birds’ real estate auction, looking like it was never washed. Which could draw the price down, actually.
Her eyes were bloodshot, with a barely recognizable hint of the blue irises’ color she used to have around a month ago.
She also had a walkie talkie baby radio, tied to her left foreleg by duck tape.
“Um… h-hi, Honey Bun. How are you?.. Y-yeah, not the most appropriative question in the world...”
Honey Bun didn’t answer to Daisy’s greeting. She just sat on the cushion and facedinnertabled with a loud *thud*.
“Can I get you anything, miss?”
Ponyville’s waiters never lost their professional attitude regardless of events, whether it is a mad spirit rising, a unicorn, possessed by an evil artifact of doom taking over, or a magic-eating demon ravaging the town.
“Coffee. Lots of coffee.” Honey Bun said in a strained tone, muffled by the wood.
“Dear, whatever has happened to you?! You look awful!”
Minty put a hoof on her friend’s shoulder.
“Tell me something I don’t know...”
Honey Bun raised her head, which was dangerously close to the table’s surface.
“Did you know that alien babies don’t ask to get excused when they want to relieve themselves? I didn’t too. Now I do. Wish to Tartarus I could forget it.
Or that alien babies refuse to walk on their own, despite being clearly older than a week?
Oh, and they can’t talk, no matter how hard I tried to teach her. While the pony babies can talk when they are a month-old.”
Both mares exchanged worried looks.
“But… why did you duck taped a kiddie walkie talkie to your foreleg?”
Honey Bun looked at the device like a fly looks at its Grim Reaper: a disheveled, sleepy pony in slippers and with a rolled newspaper in her grasp.
“Thinking about presenting it to Chrysalis as the ultimate torture device. What do you, girls think? It could make anypony do whatever she likes within a day. Maybe two.”
“You coffee, miss.”
The earth pony looked at the huge decanter, filled to the brim with the wonderful elixir of vitality straight from the sunny fields of South Whinnerica. Yup, Ponyville’s waiters knew their drill very well.
“Bless you, kind stranger. May your tips be generous and your offspring be non-existent.”
Honey Bun took a decanter and starter to drink so eagerly, as if she’s been crossing the desert for a decade and finally found an oasis.
“Um… don’t mean to sound mean, but… isn’t it dangerous to have so much coffee, dear?” Daisy said carefully.
The earth pony finished her drink and placed a decanter on the table.
“Trust me, Daisy -- in my position, ‘too much coffee’ sounds as ridiculous as ‘hot snow’ or ‘dry water’ or ‘tubby Princess Celestia’.
Besides, my blood now is around 90% coffee and 10% sleep deprivation, so I’m good…”
*thud*
*snort*
Both ponies looked at the snoring Honey Bun, who was sleeping with a smile on her face.
“Shouldn’t we take her home? So she could sleep in a bed?”
“Good suggestion, Minty. Take her from the front and I’ll take care of her rump.”
“Didn’t know your door swings that way...”
“Oh, shut up.”
But before they were able to carry Honey Bun home, the walkie talkie suddenly came to life and started to make loud noises, distantly reminding baby crying.
The exhausted earth pony opened her eyes and looked at her foreleg with the doomed expression.
“Going down to the level eighth. You girls want me to say something to Tirek when I see him?”
===========
They were the first visitors in her home for a long time. Princess Celestia looked at the Equestria Foal Care Service employee and asked:
“So, all papers are ready? We can transfer the girl to the foster care now?”
The middle-aged unicorn adjusted her glasses and nodded.
“Everything’s in order, Your Majesty. As soon as we find a proper family for taking care of the alien baby-”
“Her name is Haruka. And I’d appreciate you using it from now on.”
Honey Bun was holding the baby in her foreleg, sternly looking at the official.
“Yes, of course. I apologise. So, like I said, as soon as we find a family to take care of… Ha-ru-ka… we will immediately give her to them. For now, though, she’ll be staying in Canterlot Federal Orphanage.”
Princess Celestia nodded, then turned her head towards Honey Bun.
“It is time to say goodbye, Honey Bun.”
The earth pony nodded back, blinking out the tear.
“She… she likes when somepony has a spoon in their mane. It makes her laugh and she becomes more lenient...”
The official looked at her with a warm expression.
“I’ll let the caretaker know.”
She lighted her horn, wrapping the baby with a lime-colored telekinetic field.
“She also likes when somepony reads her a bedtime story. Her favorite is Neighen King’s ‘Pet Sematary’!”
“Alright, miss. Please, give me the baby.”
Honey Bun was holding the girl with her own telekinetic grasp.
“And her favourite meal is apple and carrot puree, with a small glass of warm milk, 6,7628 ounces, warmed to one hundred and nine Fillynheits!”
“Okay, anything you want, just give me the baby!”
“WAIT, I DIDN’T- Gah!”
Both mares and the baby were lifted in the air by Princess Celestia.
“Calm down, you two.” She said with a chuckle.
“Your Majesty, could you please make her give me the baby?”
“She’s MY baby!”
Honey Bun roared, desperately trying to lose Celestia’s magic grasp.
“You can take her only over my cold, killed off for real, dead corpse! But I warn you, that I will haunt you as a ghost forevermore!”
“I think her words are convincing enough, mrs. Sunset Sparkle. She will take a good care of the baby, I am sure of it.”
Celestia put them down, and Honey Bun immediately ran to the baby and hugged her with tears forming in her eyes.
The unicorn took her glasses and placed them on her snout.
“Next time, try to be certain with decisions like this.”
She turned around, flicked her tails and left. Princess Celestia casted the last glance at the baby in Honey Bun’s forelegs, shook her head with a smile and left the house as well, gently closing the door behind her.
Honey Bun was holding her precious girl tightly and gentle at the same time.
“Don’t worry, sweetie. I won’t let anypony take you from me. We’ll be together, I promise you. You are my daughter. My little Haruka...”