//------------------------------// // Where'd Everypony Go? // Story: An Alternate Ending to A Canterlot Wedding // by MeadowRosePony //------------------------------// Bronzewing was following behind Shining Armor and Cherry Fizzy when he felt somepony tap him from behind. "What?" Bronzewing whispered. He thought Shining Armor had signaled for silence, but he just knew that if he looked behind him to see what Silver Shield wanted, he'd miss where Cherry Fizzy was go- ...wait a minute. Silver Shield was off playing protector to the two tag-a-long civs. Bronzewing couldn't say he blamed them. Who wouldn't want to see such awesomeness in action? But it was kinda annoying to be down a team-mate to watch them... so? There was a reason Bronzewing left those types of decisions to the brass. Anyway, Silver Shield wasn't behind him, so who...? Tap Tap Bronzewing spun around and swung a hoof at... his reflection? There was nopony in the corridor behind him, just his reflection staring stupidly back at him in the polished crystalline walls. Wait another minute. He didn't recall ever looking that stupid. Not even in some of those academy photos. And he thought he'd remember putting on a tutu. He wasn't nearly drunk enough to forget something like that. He didn't even get to drink anything! The wedding kept getting postponed. Which made it very hard to get to the bubbly. Not to mention the small factor of him being on-duty. Technically. Sort of. It really depended on who you asked and what their definition of on-duty was. At this rate they'd need to throw Shining Armor another secret bachelor party. It had to be a secret, otherwise the young dragon would get his feelings hurt. Shining Armor had explained about how he had promised his sorta honorary kinda baby dragon brother that he would get to throw the bachelor party. Of course, then he'd mentioned that this brother was also technically only a baby, at which point they'd unanimously decided to throw the captain a proper bachelor party. Secretly of course. Baby or not, you didn't mess with dragons. Bronzewing's 'reflection' was now smirking at him. Bronzewing narrowed his eyes and held his wings at ready. "Captain! Six o'clock!" Bronzewing heard the scuff of Shining Armor's hoof against the floor an instant before something hit Bronzewing in the side hard enough to knock the wind out of him. "What the?!" Bronzewing wheezed, hitting the floor. Then Cherry Fizzy was in front of him and Shining Armor was at his back, shooting blasts of magic at something Bronzewing couldn't see and had no intention of looking for. He trusted the captain to take care of it, and besides, enemies only ever got one free shot at him. "Taking point!" Cherry Fizzy said and charged forward. Bronzewing rose off the floor to cover him just in time to see Cherry Fizzy buck the legs of what looked suspiciously like a minotaur made from crystal. Seriously? And to make matters worse, the crystalline minotaur had the gall to not even be fazed. It just shook it's giant ugly head a little and then swung a huge hand down to swat Fizzy away. Cherry Fizzy ducked and rolled. But before Bronzewing could help, he was blindsided from a sudden onslaught of hail. Literally. If hail fell sideways and was made from chunks of crystal the size of his head and apparently attracted to it as well. "What am I, a magnet?!" Bronzewing swore as he was clipped by one of the buggers and sent spiraling into Shining Armor. Luckily for both of them, (well mostly Shining Armor) one of them was a unicorn with a lot of practice in dodging slash deflecting flying pegasi... and Bronzewing had wings and was really good at rebounding after near crashes. Not to mention a thick skull. Those skills are what kept him from crashing into Cherry Fizzy right as Fizzy dodged another blow from the crystalline monster. "Ya mind keeping your new skill to yourself? I can't dodge both its attacks and yours and I'd like my face unsmashed!" "When I said I wanted to be a magnet, this wasn't what I meant! I meant mares, not crystals!" Bronzewing shot back. "Have you considered changing your approach? Maybe try dancing more and talking less?" Shining Armor cut in between blasts of magic. "You might avoid getting slapped as much." "Have ya seen his dancin'? His four left hooves could get him charged with assault." Cherry Fizzy grunted as he dodged another punch and countered with powerful buck. "You're one to talk! At least I know the difference between a waltz and a hoedown!" Bronzewing said, flipping over Shining Armor to knock a crystal away from Fizzy. "Less talking, more waltzing!" Shining Armor said, shooting a blast where Bronzewing had been a second prior. "Hey, at least you aren't getting pounded by a freakin' crystal minotaur! Those fellas are hard enough to beat when they're not made of rock!" Cherry Fizzy said. "You know what they say, right? The bigger they are..." Bronzewing banked a sharp left straight towards Cherry Fizzy's battle with the minotaur. "The harder they fall!" At the last second Cherry Fizzy ducked and rolled out of the way and Bronzewing pitched up, leaving the crystals following him like a homing beacon to smash into the minotaur's crystalline face. Bronzewing flipped and bucked the minotaur in the back of the head right as Cherry Fizzy attacked the front legs. The monster went crashing down... Right towards Shining Armor, who's near-clairvoyant ability to sense a battlefield decided to fail him at the exact moment when he was about to get squished by a huge, hulking chunk of crystal! Shining Armor was still blasting at something they couldn't see as Bronzewing swooped down and knocked him out of the crystal's path. Shining Armor's blast went wide and smashed into the side of the cavern, bringing a host of crumbling crystal down on them to join the party of other flying projectiles. Because this cave just loved to throw rocks in the house. Bronzewing's father would have a fit if he ever did that. Granted, Bronzewing's father would have a fit if he knew what Bronzewing did on a near monthly basis with the guards. He thought guarding was basically patrol work with some search-and-rescue thrown in to make things interesting. A relatively safe occupation for his only son. And if Bronzewing was stationed in the palace maybe that would be true. But Bronzewing had too much of his mother in him to accept that. Which was how he usually got into these messes. That and his mouth. "And seriously! Again with the crystal hail?! You'd think you could mix things up a bit? You're the god of chaos! The least you could do is change the weather!" "Bronzewing! Shut up! Didn't anypony ever tell ya not to taunt the ones throwin' rocks at ya?!" Cherry Fizzy shouted, being too far away to hit him. No sooner had the last word left his mouth, than the rocks had ceased falling, only for the floor to start swirling in onto itself. Bronzewing was pulled screaming into the whirlpool, followed closely by Shining Armor and Cherry Fizzy. Do to the Laws of Murphy, (which Bronzewing has become very well acquainted with), Bronzewing landed on the bottom of the heap and promptly had the wind knocked out of him by Cherry Fizzy and Shining Armor landing on top of him. Sadistic laughter rang around them as the hole they had landed in grew darker. Were those ...shadows? Something seemed to be sliding down through the edges of the hole they had fallen through, blocking out even more of the dim light. It was like long shadows were being cast down around them, but Bronzewing couldn't see what was causing them. "Bronzewing." Shining Armor said as he and Cherry Fizzy rolled off the pony-pile and into a triangle formation. "Yeah, Captain?" Bronzewing said, rising to a crouch. "When we get out of this, remind me to put you on KP duty for eternity." "Hey, I'm already serving a life sentence of potato-peeling. Unless you want me to take over the whole kitchen, there's not much more I can do." "Hey!" Cherry Fizzy cut in. "Don't go makin' him in charge of cookin'! If ya wanted us all to die of food poisonin', why'd ya take us on this suicide run in the first place?" Shining Armor ignored Cherry Fizzy as he started firing off more blasts of magic. "I'm marrying an alicorn, Bronzewing. One who's related to Princess Luna. How would you like to be peeling potatos in your dreams?" "I'm pretty sure that's an abuse of power." Bronzewing said. "You haven't married her yet. At this rate, he'll be safe for a while." Cherry Fizzy said. "At this rate, I'd be eloping with her if I wasn't terrified of what her aunts would do if we deprived them of a wedding." Shining Armor accompanied his words with a blast of magic bright enough to completely light up the pit they'd fallen into. Of course, there was only one path to follow. "Like rats in a maze." Shining Armor said. "At least it stopped hailing." Bronzewing said. And just like that, the rocks were back. Cherry Fizzy scowled at him. "Why don't ya just go ahead and mention the rain too, while you're at it!" "Didn't anypony ever teach you not to throw rocks in the house!" Bronzewing shouted as he tucked his wings in to protect them and dodged the falling rocks until Shining Armor could put up a shield. Only apparently nopony had told Shining Armor that part of the plan because he was still shooting at something Bronzewing couldn't see! Bronzewing turned to see Cherry Fizzy running beside him. "What are we supposed to be attacking? Cause I stopped chasing shadows when I fell off a cloud as a colt!" "No clue! Duck!" Bronzewing hit the floor as Fizzy leaped over him, knocking away an approaching crystal with a well-placed buck. As soon as they were up and running again, Bronzewing went back to complaining. It was his automatic response to confusion and panic. Hard to freeze in fear if you kept your brain moving and your mouth going with a string of insults. "I feel like we've spent way too much time running away in these caves without going anywhere! How long are these tunnels anyway? Did somepony forget to explain physics to them?" "Or gravity!?" He growled as another rock hit him in the side. "It's Discord's cave. Remember? The laws of physics don't apply to him!" Cherry Fizzy said. "Well, the laws of Equestria are going to!" Shining Armor growled in between blasts of magic. "Circle around and take them from behind!" He ordered and stopped abruptly. Cherry Fizzy swore like a farmer. "Take who?! We don't see anythin'!" Bronzewing grinned. "We don't have to! It's like storm busting! Just hit what the rocks aren't!" "What kind of fool plan is that?!" Fizzy demanded, but he ran along the opposite wall. "Or you could just follow my rule." "I'm going to regret askin', but what's that?" "Let them throw the first punch, and then seriously mess up their day!" "Great! Unless that first punch's a doozy, then I'm flat!" "You could always try some of that famous cowpony charm on them, if you prefer." "Nah! I prefer busting open a barrel of kick-flank on 'em!" Shining Armor cut through their banter, "Lighting up!" Bronzewing and Cherry Fizzy shielded their eyes as Shining Armor let loose a wave of power. As it reached the crystals, it reflected off them, making it that much brighter... but also illuminating the black shadows converging in on Shining Armor. They looked like floating blotches of ink with bad tempers as they attacked, correctly presuming Shining Armor would be unable to shoot any more blasts right away after that big one. But he didn't have to. Cherry Fizzy and Bronzewing had his back. Bronzewing wasn't sure if those inky blotch things were intelligent or even alive, but he didn't care. Now that he knew where they were, he could kick their black inky flanks Cloudsdale style. They may not look like much more than shadows, but his standing philosophy was if something could hit, it could be hit back, and he held firmly to that belief as he charged the freaky things. His hoof collided with a satisfying thud against solid enemy flesh. Bronzewing grinned and proceeded to attack, until the ink blotches vanished, leaving him frustrated and without something to punch it out on. Even the falling chunks of crystal vanished. (That one was okay with him.) "What happened?" Cherry Fizzy asked. "Yeah you better run!" Bronzewing shouted. The cowards! How dare they run away before Bronzewing even had a chance to pound them into oblivion! Shining Armor ignored Bronzewing's ranting as he scanned the room around them. He frowned, Bronzewing had a point; for all of their running, they didn't seem to have gone anywhere. "Shh!" Shining Armor motioned for silence. Ignoring the muffled sounds behind him as Cherry Fizzy cut Bronzewing off midsentence with a well-placed hoof to the muzzle, Shining Armor moved along the wall and scanned the ceiling... There! Shining Armor pointed up. Now that creepy shadows and flying crystals were no longer obscuring their vision, they could make out the hole they'd fallen through. Bronzewing and Cherry Fizzy followed Shining's hoof with their eyes. Cherry Fizzy mouthed a question. Shining Armor nodded. It was just like Discord to have them running around in some sort of dimensional loop like out of a foal's cartoon. Cherry Fizzy squinted and shook his head. Then he shrugged, evidently deciding not to try to figure out a chaos lord's magical workings. Bronzewing mentally commended him. It was healthier in the long run not to overthink things. Shining Armor motioned for Bronzewing to fly up and do some recon. They were currently working under the presumption that Discord had some way of monitoring their location but not their immediate actions. Shining Armor was also pretty sure Discord didn't actually want them dead. Discord was like a foal. He might end up breaking his toys but preferred playing with them. So in the event that this was an ambush, while it was likely to be painful and humiliating, they probably wouldn't die. Bronzewing hoped Shining was right. He flew up and came back shortly. The immediate area was clear. Bronzewing lifted Shining Armor up first. While Bronzewing could have carried them both if he had to, it would have been slow and awkward. This way was better. Shining Armor could leap back to the ground if Cherry Fizzy was suddenly swamped. Wait a moment... Bronzewing paused, hovering near the top. He thought he heard something... Was that...? ...Music? Bronzewing ducked down, hovering just close enough to the top that he could peer over the edge, hopefully without being seen. Or dropping his captain, who was getting heavier by the second. Not that Bronzewing would ever say that out loud. He was pretty sure Shining Armor wouldn't actually ask Princess Luna to curse him to forever potato-peeling nightmares, but he wasn't taking any chances. Seriously though, Shining Armor could stand to lose some weight. This was proof that desk jobs were no good for anypony. Bronzewing quit worrying about that when he caught sight of Discord and Twilight. Or what he assumed was Twilight. She looked different. More than the 'I got a new mane-cut' different that he was used to fending off. This was more of an 'I got a new mane-cut, a dye job, new contacts and a major villainy-vibe make-over.' This wasn't good. If this was Twilight, then either goth had come in fashion really quickly and his captain's bookworm recluse of a sister had decided she had to jump on the bandwagon... or she'd gone over to the dark side. He briefly wondered if there'd be any cookies before taking his mind back to identification of the unidentified allegedly evil being. Stupid political correctness. That totally doesn't have the same ring to it. And Bronzewing was in a query. The best way to identify a pony was through their cutie-mark. But there'd been a very fear-inducing lecture on why nopony was supposed to be looking at the captain's sister's flanks... Bronzewing suppressed a shudder before he dropped Shining Armor. Of course! It totally wouldn't be against the bro-code for Shining Armor to look at his own sister's flanks....in a totally non-creepy, solely-for-identification-purposes way. Yeah, Bronzewing was overthinking things again. Less thought, more action. Bronzewing rolled over so Shining Armor was on the top and could see over the edge. And then the singing started. They listened as Twilight went all evil-queeny and then somehow managed to overpower the Lord of Chaos. Not good. The area brightened with the unmistakable glow of a teleport, but it wasn't the pink usually associated with Twilight's magic. More not good. Just then Shining Armor stiffened, making it significantly harder for Bronzewing to keep holding him while hovering upside down in the air. So not his favorite maneuver. A second glow formed around Shining Armor. Bronzewing braced his hooves against the edge to give Shining Armor a more stable position. Bronzewing didn't know what Shining Armor was doing, but whatever his plan, keeping still could only help. Less likely for the spell to rebound and wind up frying them both. Bronzewing lost more feathers that way... No sooner had Bronzewing leveled them both out, then he was thrown back off-balance by the force of Shining Armor using him as a launch-pad to leap over the ledge. Ow. Bronzewing flipped around and hurried after Shining Armor. He cleared the ledge just as Shining's spell crashed against the crystalline wall, lighting a particularly ugly tapestry on fire. Shining Armor slammed his hoof against the floor hard enough to create a spider web of cracks spiraling jaggedly outward. Discord and Twilight were nowhere to be seen. Bronzewing looked from the tapestry burning on the wall to Shining Armor staring at the flames, apparently not noticing the destruction of the floor. Good thing this floor was already made of jumbled together crystal pieces. The new chips weren't too noticeable. The flaming tapestry was kind of conspicuous though. "So... does this mean we're abandoning the stealth approach?"