Where No Pony Has Gone Before

by RK_Striker_JK_5


Chapter Nine

Kirk paced back and forth in front of Thelin, M'ress, Chekov, and Scotty. The five were in a room in one of the lower levels of Canterlot, the four participants of the brawl in the Punch Bowl having been brought in from holding cells in the rarely-used dungeon, the Klingons and yaks in other cells for the moment. The four all stood at attention as best they could, considering various scrapes, bruises, and the amount of alcohol imbibed only two hours before.

Kirk clasped his hands behind his back as he stopped in front of Scotty. “Well, this was not... exactly how I wanted the time before my meeting with Celestia to go.” He spun to face the engineer. “In your own words, Commander Scott. What... happened?”

Scotty stared straight ahead. “Well, Captain, we arrived at the Punch Bowl all right. We all had some drinks. The Klingons had drinks. The ponies, they had a lot of drinks. Kellett and I exchanged... some words, but nothing really came of it.” He shrugged. “For the most part, it was actually pretty nice. Certainly had worse times in a bar, I can tell you that.”

M'ress smirked and purred. “Like Station K-7, Mister Scott?”

Scotty grinned. “Aye, lassie. Or that time– ”

Kirk held up a hand. “Belay that, Scotty.” He held both hands out. “The... Punch Bowl?”

Scotty's expression fell. “Oh, sorry, sir. Well, Kellett and I were about to toast each other. A genuine toast, with a Klingon! But before I could drink, those blasted beasts came blundering in!” His eyes blazed and he raised clenched hands. “And I didn't even get to finish my drink!”

Kirk's jaw canted slightly. “You didn't get to... finish... your drink. I see, Mister Scott. So, the yaks came in...”

Scotty nodded. “Aye, sir. And those beasts had the devil in them! One of them yelled at Berry Punch, the wee lass who ran the pub, and smashed her bar like an angry Gorn. Kellett confronted it, and that yak smacked him in the chest. After that, well...”

Kirk nodded. “That... lines up with the reports I've received. Miss Punch was quite... adamant that the yaks initiated hostilities.” He paused for a moment. “I'll be discussing this with Princess Celestia at the meeting. In the meantime, however, I'm afraid I'll have to... confine you to quarters for one day, although I won't put anything into anyone's permanent record, since none of you were on duty at the time and your actions were in defense of others and yourselves. Mister Chekov, though, is exempt from confinement. He was the... only one not involved in the altercation.”

M'ress hissed slightly. “Only because he was passed out at the bar.”

Kirk's head turned and he glared at M'ress, silencing her. “I... can make a note in your record, Lieutenant, if you wish.”

M'ress straightened to attention. “No, sir,” she said, swallowing.

Kirk nodded, smiling. “Good. Dismissed.” He waited for them to turn and begin walking out before speaking. “Scotty, wait a moment.”

Scotty stopped. He stepped back from the others and walked around back to Kirk. “Aye, Captain?”

Kirk waited for the others to leave the room before speaking. “Scotty... while you were speaking with Kellett. How were you... feeling, at the moment? Do you remember?”

Scotty's brow furrowed. He rubbed his chin and stared off at the wall. “Well, sir. I must admit the alcohol hazed it up a wee bit. Still... aside from one brief spat, we were getting along rather well.” He smiled rather broadly. “Must admit, it wasn't too bad.” The smile fell away as quickly as it had appeared. “Why, Captain?”

Kirk leaned in a bit close. “Just something I've noticed among the crew and the Klingons. We seem to be a bit... friendlier than normal. Kang and I had a rather... interesting discussion at Twilight's castle the other day. We managed to keep it about the level of raised voices.” He waved Scotty off. “Thank you, Mister Scott. Dismissed. Although as before, for the moment, you are confined to quarters.”

Scotty shrugged and smiled. “All right be me, sir. I've got some brand-new technical manuals to catch up on!” And with that, he walked out.


Kang stood in front of Kellett, Worf, and Tarqus, hands clenched behind his back. “I must say I was not expecting to find you three here in the dungeons after a brawl in a bar. Most surprising.”

Kellett stared straight ahead. “Captain, I take full responsibility for the incident at the Punch Bowl. As the ranking officer, I am the one–”

Kang held up a hand, silencing his chief engineer. “Honorable, but unnecessary, Kellett.” He reached into a pocket on his vest and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “I received a letter from the proprietress of the Punch Bowl when I arrived. She swears that none of you initiated hostilities, and all fault lies with the honorless yaks. I have no reason to doubt her.” He smiled faintly. “I'm actually impressed with you three, that you stood up for Miss Punch and aided her against those Ha'DibaH.

Kellett visibly deflated. “Thank you, Captain. Orders, if any?”

Kang rubbed his chin. “Worf, Tarqus, report back to the K'naiah's Pride. Resume your duty stations and tell tall tales of your epic encounter with the yaks. Kellett, I need you a moment longer.” He waited for Worf and Tarqus to exit before stepping up to his chief engineer. “Kellett, at this bar, before the yaks arrived, how did you and the others interact with the Enterprise crew?”

Kellett's eyes rolled up slightly as he stroked his beard in thought. “Well, we had a tense moment or two. Mister Scott and I almost got into an argument, but... the pegasus Rainbow Dash managed to defuse tensions.” He barked a laugh. “She did it by telling us to drink, so I'm not sure we could have refused if we wanted to!”

Kang cracked a smile. “Of course. Nothing can break tensions faster than being offered a drink. Thank you, Mister Kellett. You are dismissed.” The smile fell away as quickly as it had appeared. “Now, then, Princess Celestia. You, Kirk, and I have some things to discuss.”


Twilight paced back and forth in front of Applejack and Rainbow Dash. The three stood in the throne room of Friendship Castle, near the Cutie Map. Twilight's head bobbed up and down as she spoke. “I can't believe this! You two were supposed to be having a nice time at the Punch Bowl, not tearing the place down!” She stopped in front of Rainbow Dash and leaned in close. “Well? What do you have to say for yourself?”

Rainbow Dash's ears folded against her skull. “Stop shouting, for one, Twi. Yeesh. You're loud enough to be heard in Tartarus.”

Applejack spoke up. “And second off, we didn't start anything. It was those dang-blasted yaks! We were having a pretty good time when they barged in and one of them wrecked part of Berry Punch's bar! If we didn't do anything, they would've done even more damage!”

Twilight turned to her. “Well, okay... but did you try talking to them, first?”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash exchanged a glance before both directed a withering stare at Twilight. “Well, Kellett did,” Applejack said, “but the one of the yaks kind of planted a hoof in the middle of his chest and tried to cave his rib cage in.”

Rainbow Dash nodded and snorted. “Yeah. Come on, Twilight! We didn't start anything. And if we didn't do anything, the Punch Bowl would've gotten wrecked! What gives?”

Twilight opened her mouth, but nothing came out. head dropped. “I... I'm really sorry, you two.” She let out a groan, stretched her wings out, and cracked her back. “This whole thing's got me so tense. There's never really been anything like visitors from beyond the planet itself.” She cracked a smile. “Nothing really in any book for this that I've read. I mean, it's one thing for people from the next house or town or even country to show up, but another star system? Multiple star systems? There's also what Sunset Shimmer wrote back to me.” She rolled her eyes. “Ugh, is it this afternoon, yet?”

Any response was cut off by a knock at one of the doors. Twilight's horn glowed and it opened, revealing Berry Punch. “I hope I'm not disturbing anything,” she said, peeking in.

Twilight shook her head and waved her in with a wing. “Oh, no!” She waited for Berry Punch to trot over before continuing. “Are you all right? How's the Punch Bowl? Is Ruby Pinch all right? What about Ponet? And–”

Berry Punch raised a foreleg and placed it over Twilight's mouth. “I'm all right, thank you. The Punch Bowl's been pretty heavily damaged, and will be closed for maybe a month due to damage. Ruby was at school, and Ponet was at Mane Street. Thank you for asking.” She looked to Applejack and Rainbow Dash. “And to you two, thank you so much for what you did. Things would've gotten a lot worse if you and the others hadn't stopped those yaks. Drinks are on the house for you two for the rest of your lives.”

Rainbow Dash pumped a foreleg. “Yes!” She glanced from side to side as everyone turned and stared at her. “What? Oh, right. Ah, you're welcome, Berry. And glad you're all right.”

Applejack bowed her head. “Much obliged, Berry. If you need any help with the repairs, just ask.”

Berry nodded to the two, then looked back to Twilight as she removed her hoof from twilight's mouth. “I wrote two letters, one for Kirk and the other for Kang. I told them the same thing I told you.” Her expression fell. “I hope none of them get into any trouble.”

Twilight glanced to the ceiling and rubbed her chin in thought. “I... think I can talk to them later tonight, Berry. I know they're meeting with Princess Celestia this afternoon, and I've got a meeting of my own to attend, too. I'll make sure they're aware of what happened, Berry. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”


Celestia sat at a small round table in Conference Room Three in Canterlot Castle, quietly sipping some tea and eating cake. Luna was asleep, Cadance dealing with matters in the Crystal Empire, and Twilight had her own business to attend to. This should be interesting, and fun. Two communicators, one from the Enterprise, and one from the K'naiah's Pride, were placed in front of her. She glanced to a clock on the wall, noting the second hand sweeping across the face. “And four, three, two...”

Both communicators beeped. Celestia's horn glowed and she delicately twisted a knob on each of them. “Hello, this is Princess Celestia. One at a time, please. Enterprise, first.”

Uhura's voice came over, a tinge of static to it. “Your Highness, Captain Kirk is ready and standing by to beam to your location. Over.”

A few seconds later, a male voice came over the Klingon communicator. “Captain Kang also stands by to transport on your command, Princess.”

“Thank you. Send them down anytime.”

Two columns of light appeared, quickly resolving themselves into Captains Kirk and Kang. The two oriented themselves before turning to Celestia. “Your highness,” Kirk said, bowing. Kang, meanwhile, thumped his chest in a Klingon salute.

Two chairs slid away from the table. “Good to see you,” Celestia said, smiling as they sat down. She floated over cups and saucers to them. “Now, before we talk about the official bulletin points, there's the matter of a little incident at the Punch Bowl.” She held up a hoof. “I've read testimony from patrons there and Berry Punch herself. And I know she's written letters to you both. I don't hold them in any way responsible for the destruction caused, and would like to personally thank them for their heroism. As for the yaks, they're in the dungeons at the moment. I sent a letter to Prince Rutherford, the leader of Yakyakistan. I'll wait until I hear from him before dealing with the yaks.”

Kang nodded, smiling slightly. “I am relieved to hear that, Princess. I felt the same way. I did not punish any of them, and I will make arrangements for them to meet you.”

Kirk hesitated. “I... didn't put anything in their permanent record, but had all but Chekov confined to quarters pending the... outcome of this meeting. I'll have them released from that, and arrange to have them meet with you.” He leaned forward. “Princess, there's been a... discovery at a 'rock farm'.”

Celestia took a sip of her tea and bite of her cake. “Oh, you mean the dilithium weeds that sprout up there? I was wondering when you'd find them.”

The two captains sat in their chairs, frozen for a moment. They exchanged a look before Kang spoke. “You... know of them? How are they formed? Where does the energy for them come from?”

Celestia pointed at the floor. “There's a small... subspace leak, for lack of a better term, near the core of Equus. A magic portal, in other words. It's not unstable or destructive, and provides for rock farming, the dilithium crystal growths, and is a nigh-limitless supply of power.”

Kirk waved his hand in the air. “Your Highness, This changes... everything. Dilithium crystals are one of the most, if not... the most valuable substances in the galaxy. And you have them... growing out of the ground! The implications are beyond enormous.”

Kang nodded. “Kirk speaks the truth. When this gets out–and it will–Equus will become one of the most important planets in two quadrants of the galaxy. It will be quite... dangerous.”

Celestia sighed. “I think I see where this is going. Now, I do thank you both for the concern you're showing. And you're right. This will change things a bit. However, it won't be nearly as dangerous as you think.” Her horn glowed once more.

Every object in the room, barring Celestia, Kirk, Kang, and the chairs they sat in, floated up. They spun about, pirouetting in the air. “As I control these objects, I control the sun. And Luna controls the moon. Any starship or starships who attempt to attack our planet will be in for a very short and unpleasant surprise.” She focused on Kang. “And as you noted, it would be unwise to challenge us. If pressed, we could be more... forceful. As a last resort, mind.”

Kang nodded. “Mara did note you could unleash a solar flare upon any attacking fleet, or Luna could use the moon itself as an unstoppable kinetic-kill vehicle. You're well-defended, Princess.”

Celestia hung her head slightly. “Believe me, Captain. Those two options would be our last resort. I loathe the idea of violence, but if it comes down to it, I will protect this planet and all who live upon it.

Kirk nodded. “A... sensible outlook, your Highness. However, it might not stop those who are... desperate enough. A renewable, almost infinite source of dilithium crystals can... change... the balance of power in the galaxy!”

Celestia half-smiled as she set everything back down in their proper places. “Well, it's a good thing we've got you two negotiating on behalf of your governments. I have full faith you'll be able to convince them of the folly of trying anything against us, and instead, both governments working with us. As friends.”

Kang barked a laugh. “As 'friends', Princess? I highly doubt that will occur.”

Kirk shifted a bit in his seat. “I must... concur with my Klingon colleague, Princess. I... highly doubt our governments will ever see eye to eye.”

Celestia looked from Kirk to Kang. “Your crews were able to cooperate and drive away a very powerful entity that fed off of hatred. It had every advantage over you, yet you still put aside your differences and laughed it off the Enterprise. It would've been so easy for you to succumb to your hatred. Instead you both managed to see reason and stop the conflict before it consumed you all. If you can manage to stop fighting under such circumstances, then it's within the realm of possibility for your governments to do the right thing and end hostilities.”

Kang waved her off. “The circumstances on the Enterprise are far different than those we are currently in. To have real, lasting peace between the United Federation of Planets and Klingon Empire would be difficult, to say the least!”

Celestia stared at him, expression neutral. “I never said it would be 'easy', Captain Kang. I said it would be 'right'. It's almost never the easiest thing to do, but it has to be done. And it can be done. At one time, I wished for Discord to be gone forever, to be dead or locked away in Tartarus for all eternity. I gave him a chance, and although it went roughly in more than one instance, we are now... not enemies. And someday, we might even be friends. I've lived a long time, and have seen many things that were once deemed difficult or impossible happen.”

Kang met Celestia's stare with one of his own. “What may happen in the future has no bearing on my mission, here. I was sent by the High Council to secure your allegiance, and within the bounds of my honor, I shall do so.” He glanced to Kirk. “Just as Captain Kirk shall do his best to lure you away from the correct choice.”

Celestia's wings ruffled. “That assumes, however, that this is a zero-sum game. That we can only ally either with the Federation or the Empire.” She leaned forward and smiled. “My sister and I believe a third option is available, where we ally with both governments and open diplomatic and trade deals with you.” She looked from Kang to Kirk. “And wouldn't that be better for all of us?”

Kirk's jaw canted to the right. “I suppose for the moment... neither of us have any real... choice in the matter, Princess?”

Kang crossed his arms. “You're right. I too doubt either of us have much of a choice, Kirk. What is it precisely that you propose, Princess?”

Celestia clapped her front hooves together. “Excellent!” Two folders floated up and over to Kirk and Kang. They landed in front of them and opened up.“Let's get down to the business of business, Captains.”