//------------------------------// // 133 - To Be Powerless // Story: Lateral Movement // by Alzrius //------------------------------// For a long moment, Lex just stared at the scene in front of him, not knowing what he should do. Finally, he came back to himself and looked over at one of the doctors. “What happened?” The doctor, a mauve-colored stallion with streaks of grey in his black mane, looked up from where he’d just covered Pillowcase’s body with a sheet. “We can’t be certain until we, er…” He trailed awkwardly off as he looked over at Cozy, standing on the other side of Pillowcase’s body. The crystal mare didn’t seem to be aware of what was happening around her, staring at the covered form of her husband with a look of anguished disbelief on her face. The sight of her made Lex’s stomach clench. This is your fault, came the voiceless words in his mind. You were supposed to gain enough power to save ponies who needed help. Now one of the ponies you were supposed to rescue has paid the price for your failure to do so. The taunt cut Lex deeply, making his spine stiffen. After all, that hateful voice in his mind was absolutely correct. That there was nothing else he could have done to save Pillowcase wasn’t an exoneration; it was an indictment. Ultimately, he had become responsible for the crystal stallion the moment he’d found him in that warehouse, and that he hadn’t been able to save him once he had was a failure no matter what excuses he made. And now Pillowcase and his wife-, no, his widow, were suffering the consequences of his powerlessness. “Sir?” Forcing his recriminations aside, Lex looked back at the doctor, who nodded towards the curtain keeping them partitioned off from the rest of the medical area. Turning and ushering Sonata – who was staring at the scene in horror, eyes wide and a hoof in front of her open mouth – out of the operating-area-turned-morgue, Lex led her a short distance away, the doctor following them. Outside, the other doctors had already dispersed, doubtlessly informing the crowd what had just happened. When they’d gone far enough, Lex turned around to regard the doctor again, Sonata doing the same. The other stallion resumed his explanation. “We won’t know the cause of death for certain until we can perform an autopsy, but the initial diagnosis is a sudden case of hypovolemic shock.” Lex frowned, not knowing what that meant. “Meaning what, exactly?” He hated that he had to ask, but this was too important to let that be an obstacle. The doctor seemed to have expected that question, answering immediately. “Hypovolemia is when you don’t have enough fluid in your system to maintain blood pressure. Basically, it means that his blood wasn’t pumping efficiently enough to sustain his organs.” He looked down, closing his eyes as a forlorn expression crossed his face. “We were trying to rehydrate him intravenously, but we were too late. He also had signs of malnourishment and heatstroke, and all of it together was just too much strain on his system. There were also signs of wounding on his legs. His wife said that she’d healed them when she found him, but he’d apparently already bled out quite a bit by then.” He lowered his voice then, as though talking to himself. “Maybe if we’d just gotten to him a little sooner…” It was all Lex could do not to wince as he heard that. “Poor Cozy,” murmured Sonata, looking back at the alcove where they’d left the crystal mare. “I can’t imagine how she feels right now, knowing that she’ll never see…” She trailed off as something occurred to her, before her eyes widened and she rounded on Lex. “Wait a sec! This is just like with Waterlily!” Lex went rigid at that, an alarmed look crossing his face, but Sonata kept speaking heedlessly. “All you have to do is ask the Night Mare to br-mmph!” His hoof planted firmly over Sonata’s mouth, Lex looked at the doctor. “Leave us.” “I…of course.” Having seen plenty of unusual reactions to death, the doctor took Lex and Sonata’s odd behavior in stride as he turned and left. Lex waited until they were alone before uncovering Sonata’s muzzle, letting her take a deep breath of air. “What was that about?” she frowned. “I can’t bring Pillowcase back to life, or anypony else for that matter,” said Lex quietly, not wanting to take the chance of anypony overhearing them, “and I don’t want anyone to think otherwise.” “But why not?!” insisted Sonata. “You talked the Night Mare into bringing Waterlily back, and you’d never met her before either, right? So why can’t you just whisk her up again and say ‘do your thing’?” “It doesn’t work like that!” Lex tried to keep his anger down, hating that she was making him explain why he couldn’t do anything. “Even overlooking the fact that she’s made it exceedingly clear that she dislikes my summoning her in such a manner, the only reason she brought Waterlily back to life was because I cut a deal with her, one that I’m still trying to follow through on. I’m absolutely confident that she won’t want to make another, particularly since I don’t see what else I could offer her in exchange.” “Come on, you don’t know that for sure!” Sonata frowned, trying to think of another argument. “Just, like, make it a demonstration of how awesome she is. Tell her that it’ll totes amaze everypony here and make them want to bow down to her and stuff.” “The deal was that I convince them to do that on my own in exchange for all of this power that she gave me,” retorted Lex. “If I have to call her up to do that herself, then it’s an implicit admission of failure on my part.” His eyes flickered down to the barbed wire wrapped around his left foreleg. He could guess what his goddess’s reaction to that would be. “I’m telling you, what you’re talking about is not a viable option.” Taken aback, Sonata lowered her ears as she looked down, but only for a moment. “Okay, but what about just going back to Everglow and getting what you need from there? I know they have resur-whatchamacallit magic on that world, right?” “Yes,” sighed Lex, already knowing how this was going to go. “But that’s not a viable option either.” “Why not?!” Despite herself, Sonata couldn’t help but start to get upset. “You’re the pony who, like, always does what you set your mind to, so why can’t you set your mind to this?!” “You think I don’t want to?!” snapped Lex. “You think I don’t wish that I could just cast a spell and fix this?! I’m telling you, everything you’re saying entails an unacceptable degree of risk!” He glared at her, struggling to keep from shouting. “Yes, magic is a commodity on Everglow, and I have no doubt that if I went to one of the larger cities I could find a religious outlet that would sell a scroll with a resurrection spell.” “Then…!” But Lex was already shaking his head. “I don’t know the full details of what that would cost, but I know it would be expensive, and we’re completely out of bits, not that they take bits on Everglow anyway.” Nor, he knew, was digging up gemstones an option. Equestria might be a land where perfectly-cut gems could be found a few feet underground, but you still had to know where to look to dig for them. Worse, he knew enough about Everglow to know that, while such gems would have some value there, it would only be meager at best. Selling the magic items he’d acquired would be his best bet, but he wasn’t sure that would raise sufficient funds. But Sonata wasn’t willing to give up so easy. “But you’re some kind of bigwig for the Night Mare, right?” Now it was her turn to look at the barbed wire wrapped around his leg, pointing at it. “Just go to one of her temples over there and say that, like, you’re demanding it in her name or something.” “I doubt that would work.” Certainly, it wouldn’t work on him if somepony he’d never heard of showed up and started demanding extravagant favors on the basis of religious authority. And given that what he knew of the Night Mare’s credo emphasized personal strength and empowerment, he couldn’t imagine anypony powerful enough to have resurrection magic being so easily cowed. And that wasn’t the only problem. “There’s also the fact that the plane-crossing spell doesn’t allow for precise targeting. It’s entirely possible that I could end up in a remote location, which would require me to spend time journeying to the nearest large city, and that I’d similarly wind up in a remote location when I came back to Equestria. If I’m gone that long while Vanhoover is still in this state, I’d be putting everyone here at risk.” He let out a slow breath, trying to control the bitterness that threatened to swallow him. “I want to bring Pillowcase back, but I am not willing to gamble with the lives of everyone here on such an uncertain venture.” Sonata paused for a long moment, trying to think of something else, but couldn’t come up with a way to counter his logic. As much as she hated to admit it, everything he’d said made sense. If he’d been gone when that big squid monster had attacked, they all would have died, and given how many disasters they’d already been through, there was no guarantee that another one wouldn’t happen if he left now…especially if he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to get one of those bring-you-back-to-life spells in the first place. That realization made her look down, crestfallen. Seeing the disappointed look on his girlfriend’s face, Lex assumed that it was directed at him, and felt his tension skyrocket. This was why he didn’t want anypony to think that he could bring the dead back to life. Because for him – who had spent his entire life desperately trying to justify his own existence by saying what he could do for others – having someone ask for his help, hoping that he could do what no one else could, only to tell them that there was nothing that he could do, struck at the heart of his sense of self. Especially when the one doing the asking was the girl he loved! Unable to bear looking at her with that expression, Lex turned and started walking away from her, back towards where Cozy, the single remaining doctor, and Pillowcase’s body were. A moment later Sonata’s voice called out to him. “So that’s, like, it? There’s nothing we can do for her?” Lex paused for just a moment before answering. “I can ward her husband’s body against decay, indefinitely if necessary.” The spell for that would only last for a few days, but he had a few instances of it stored in a gem, and could easily prepare it again before it ran out. “Other than that, the only solace I can give her is to bring justice down on the pony that caused this to happen.” He shot a dark look at the other alcove, where he knew Fencer was still being operated on. He’d had a punishment picked out for her, but now he was going to have to think of something even worse. “I dunno how much that’ll help.” Sonata sounded heartbroken as she walked up beside him. “Cozy never struck me as the sort of mare that wanted revenge, you know?” “It’s all I can do for her,” replied Lex, and the words were ashes in his mouth. “After that, we’re leaving.” He started back towards where Cozy was. “Huh?” Sonata blinked as she kept pace with him. “Leaving? Leaving where?” “This shelter,” answered Lex grimly. “As soon as I’m done with Fencer, we’re all going to head to this so-called blockade.” Even as he spoke he realized how tired he was of all this, of struggling so hard to accomplish so little, of perpetually reacting to crises instead of improving things. No more, he silently swore to himself. It’s time for me to exert my authority over this city.