Home or hearth?

by keroko


Come back to reality, Sunset.

"What are you doing here?"

Sunset blinked, and looked around. The scenery was familiar enough, Canterlot High's cafeteria. She was sitting at the same table she and her friends had unofficially claimed as their own.

The only difference was that all of her friends were glaring at her.

"Well?" Applejack demanded, making Sunset jump in her seat.

"I'm not- I wasn't-" Sunset shook her head. Hadn't she gone back to Equestria? How had she ended up back in CHS?

Rarity scoffed. "Oh really, if you can't even answer a simple question don't even bother talking at all." An eyebrow raised critically. "In fact, that would be preferable to your lies."

"I'm not a liar!" Sunset shouted.

"Quit lyin' Sunset!" Applejack shouted back, slamming a phone on the table, the Anon-a-Miss Mystable page open, proudly displaying every article that talked about her friends.

"I didn't write those! I don't know how they got those photos, but I didn't write those!" Sunset shouted again.

"What a shock, another lie." Rainbow Dash drawled. "But then, we really shouldn't have been surprised. You've been lying to us ever since you set a foot through that mirror. Even now you're still pretending as if you're one of us!"

Before Sunset could ask what she meant, she blinked again. Suddenly all the girls were taller. Much taller. And not just them, the entire cafeteria seemed to have grown. Sunset looked down at her hands, but her eyes found only hooves.

She was a pony again, a pony in a human world.

Now Fluttershy advanced on Sunset. Sunset paled and scooted back as she noticed that in her hands, Fluttershy held a bridle. "Animals need to be leashed." Fluttershy growled.

Applejack snorted. "Might put you to the field. Some honest work befitting an animal."

Sunset tried scrambling back further, but as if it appeared out of nowhere a wall blocked her path. "I'm not an animal!" she protested.

"You're a horse, Sunset. That makes you an animal." Fluttershy replied as she crouched down and lifted the bridle over her head.

"But I'm not a normal horse!" Sunset protested, struggling against the bridle. "I'm a pony!" She twisted her head as Fluttershy tried to force the bit in her mouth. "A unicorn!"

To her surprise, Fluttershy stopped. Sunset sighed in relief, but the moment she looked up to thank Fluttershy the words became ash in her throat. Everyone, the entire cafeteria, was glaring at her.

"If you aren't either human or an animal..." Rainbow Dash began.

"Then you don't belong here!" Fluttershy finished, and pushed Sunset away. The wall that had stopped her retreat before seemed to melt, and the world began to spin again as if she had gone through the portal.

Whatever she had passed through, it spat her out on the other end. Sunset scrambled to her hooves and yanked the bridle of her head, flinging the offending tool across the room. She was breathing heavily and it took several seconds of deep breaths before she felt herself calm down. But only a single good look at the room she was in and she felt her heartbeat skyrocket again.

Celestia's throne room.

"The wayward student returns."

Sunset flinched at the voice, a block of ice settling in her stomach. If it weren't for CHS having its own version of Celestia, she probably would have jumped at hearing that voice again after so long. Instead she whirled around and took several steps back. Celestia glared down at her imperiously, eyes set in that same damned glare of disappointment she had given her that last day.

"I believe I told you you were no longer welcome here." Celestia's voice was cold and unyielding.

"I didn't exactly choose to land here!" Sunset snapped. She blinked and took a step back in surprise as she realized with just how much venom in her voice she had said that.

Celestia gave no indication this was unexpected though. She calmly observed Sunset and replied, bitter disappointment tingeing her voice. "You chose every step of your path, Sunset Shimmer. When you pursued the mirror even when I forbade it, when you fled through the mirror to avoid your punishment, when you returned to steal the crown rightfully Twilight's and when you returned here."

Sunset stomped a hoof. A fire she had thought long gone began to burn in her chest, heating over the cold block of ice in her stomach. "I also chose to better myself! I'm making amends!" Passion began to turn to rage as her mind drifted back to all her attempts to make up for her misdeeds, and further back to her studies under Celestia. "I just want my attempts to be accepted! Here! There! Anywhere!"

"You have no place here."

Sunset frowned, not being accepted was something she had dreaded, but expected. Fire in her chest was mixing with the ice in her stomach as rage and fear warred for dominance. "Then where am I supposed to go! They don't want me in the human world, you don't want me here! Where do I belong?!"

Again, the cold disappointment of Celestia's eyes never wavered, but Sunset noticed they did narrow. "If you are wanted nowhere" Celestia lowered her head until she was at Sunset's eye level "then maybe you belong nowhere!"

Sunset drew back as if struck. She had feared Celestia's punishments of fire or stone, but instead those words felt like a lance to the heart. Sunset stumbled back and lost her balance, falling on her haunches. Her breathing quickened as she tried to clutch at her chest with a hoof. Where did a pony who ran from Equestria belong? The room seemed to darken, Sunset glanced around swiftly as the walls seemed to close in. Her breathing kept quickening, everything seemed to vanish in the dark. Celestia began to fade, colours drained and even sound became like he muffled noise behind a wall, becoming empty. A nowhere.

Then, a new voice rang out.

"Think not too deeply on the words of a nightmare's ghost, Sunset Shimmer."

The new voice was like a beacon in the dark and Sunset's head whipped around to its origin. There, in one of the fading walls was a stained glass window. Its colours were still bright, as if untouched by the growing darkness. It was one Sunset was well familiar with, the stained glass window depicting Celestia's banishment of Nightmare Moon.

The figure of the darker alicorn glowed and then just seemed to peel off the window. As it drifted to the ground, the edges of the stained glass smoothed, the coat colour lightened from a near black to a dark shade of blue and the blue mane turned ethereal, like the night's sky with all its stars. Blue wings spread and the new alicorn slowly touched down on the floor, a gentle smile on her face.

"Greetings, Sunset Shimmer. At last we meet."

It was only when the alicorn spoke again that Sunset realized she recognized the voice. "Vice-Principal Luna!?" she blurted out, then quickly sucked her lips in, feeling a flame burning her cheeks.

The alicorn raised an eyebrow, though the smile tugging at the corners of her lips hinted that no offence was taken. "I have had many titles over the long years, but Vice-Principal is a new one."

"I'm sorry, it's not- I just-" Sunset blabbered, but a raised hoof silenced any further ramblings.

"Peace, Sunset Shimmer. I am aware of my double on the other end of the mirror" Luna -Princess Luna- smiled. "In truth, I have been looking forward to meeting you for a long time."

"Me?" Sunset blinked.

Princess Luna nodded. "Indeed." She made as if to continue the conversation, but turned her head towards the still darkening room and the fading Celestia, still glaring coldly at Sunset. "But let us move this conversation to somewhere more comfortable, shall we?" A blue horn lit up, and in a flash the throneroom was once more as it was. Though now Celestia sat on her throne, a calm smile on her face as she shifted through paperwork, a white coated unicorn with a brown mane at her side. Luna nodded in satisfaction. "A much more accurate depiction of my sister in court."

Sunset gaped. "How did you-"

Princess Luna raised her head proudly. "I am the Princess of the Night, surely Twilight has mentioned thus and my duty, has she not?"

Why yes, Twilight had talked about Princess Luna. At great length, as the two unicorns had compared the two principals and their royal counterparts before. Princess Luna was Princess of the Night, raising the moon and-

Realization struck Sunset like thunder and with a groan she raised a hoof to her face. "Of course. This is a dream, isn't it?" Luna nodded, and Sunset buried head head in her hooves. "Aaaugh, I should have known! There's no way Fluttershy would try to muzzle me. She doesn't even leash her own pets!"

"Dreams blur the line between reality and fantasy, and catch us when our minds are at rest." Luna lectured. "That is why they are so believable, moreso when they are a nightmare brought by your fears, and perhaps something more."

Sunset peeked from under her hooves with a frown. That sounded ominous, and she really didn't want to deal with ominous right now. Instead, she rose to her haunches again and switched to another thing the princess had said that had piqued her curiosity. "You said you have been looking forward to meeting me?" At a nod from the princess, Sunset couldn't help but ask "why?"

"This night is far from the first time I have heard your cry for help." Luna said, her wings drooped somewhat as she talked. "But I fear my powers do not fully stretch beyond the mirror. I could hear you, and I have tried to reach out to you, but it was akin to standing in an endless forest and hearing a cry echoing from somewhere within the woods. No matter how far I ran, I could never reach you." She scowled, though not at Sunset "'tis a failure of my duty, but one I aim to make amends for."

That was a surprise. Sunset had had plenty of nightmares in her lifetime, most of them after the Fall Formal, but it wasn't as if she was expecting Princess Luna's help, so she wasn't really concerned with why Princess Luna wouldn't come for her. Rather the main thing she was wondering was... "but why did you want to meet me?"

Luna's eyes perked up in surprise. "Is it truly that surprising? So very few ponies I know can relate to what we have been through."

Sunset raised herself back into a sitting position, tilting her head in confusion. "I'm sorry, what we have been through?"

Luna tilted her own head, but amusement rather than confusion danced in the alicorn's eyes. "How many other ponies that you know of have rebelled against Celestia, ended up exiled for their efforts, returning after years apart to claim what we perceived to be our rightful due in vengeance only to be blasted by the Elements by Twilight Sparkle and her friends, and set on a path of redemption?"

Sunset's mouth had opened to raise a rebuttal, but none came. "That... is a ridiculously similar experience" she conceded. "Minus of course the part where everything you did was a bit grander. And cleverer." Sunset groaned, resisting the urge to cover her face with her hooves again. "I mean, really, taking over Canterlot with an army of hypnotized high schoolers? What was I thinking!"

"You were not" Luna snorted. "You were intoxicated by the raw power of a magic that was never intended to be yours, and it clouded your mind as to the more rational courses of action. I believe ponies these days call it 'a power trip.'"

Sunset frowned. "You make it sound as if I wasn't in control of my actions."

"Oh you were" Luna admonished. "Let me dispel the notion that this is in any form an excuse. You were not 'controlled' by the power you wielded. Being completely overwhelmed by magic requires those afflicted to be entirely inexperienced with it, which is not an excuse one of my sister's personal students can claim. No, all that happened is that you felt you could do anything and so you took the shortest route to achieve it, even if it was not the smartest one."

Sunset felt a bitter smile make its way to her face and her ears flapped down until they were halfway to her head. Luna took notice, as she raised a critical eyebrow. "You had hoped for this." It was not a question.

Sunset ducked her head, tendrils of shame creeping through her chest. "It's just- when the sirens manipulated everyone in the school, everyone just so easily brushed off all the things they had said and done to one another, no matter how nasty they were. They just went 'oh you were just controlled by magic, don't worry about it' and shrugged it off. It feels so easy to think I too could be able to just point at something and say 'That! It made me do it!'" She looked back up at Luna. "But I can't, can I? Because even if the magic was responsible for that last disaster at the Fall Formal, that doesn't excuse what I did before."

"And that brings us full round to your nightmare." The Princess of the Night gave her an encouraging smile as Sunset winced. "Yes, we do have to come back to that. You fear that you have not been forgiven. You fear that they still hate you and that even the slightest slip would see them cast you out, yes?"

A shiver made Sunset twitch her tail as she remembered her last conversation with her friends. "...I'm not sure that's just a fear any longer."

Luna frowned at that. "We shall have to speak more about this later. For now though, I would tell you that there is one important factor that has made these fears as bad as they are."

Sunset's ears perked up. "What is that?"

A silver shoed hoof pushed into her chest. "You" Luna said, gently but firmly. "Ponies often forget that forgiveness has two sides. The ones you have wronged, and the ones who have done the wronging. Guilt is a powerful force, it guides us to realize our mistakes and improve ourselves. But if you let it rampage inside you, it can consume you just as easily as envy or hatred." For a moment, Luna looked to the side, trouble clouding her eyes as if reminiscing on a mistake. "I myself had to be reminded of this not too long ago, and it nearly destroyed me and those I held dear all over again."

Sunset opened her mouth to press for answers, but a raised hoof forestalled all questions. "A story for another time" Luna continued. "For now, let us focus on you. Your guilt is powerful, and it has kept you from returning to the pony you were. But at the same time, it chains you. It prevents you from truly settling things and moving on as who you are."

"But I am me." Sunset protested.

"Oh? And yet when confronted with a nightmare Celestia, I saw a fire that was entirely absent when confronted with your nightmare friends."

"That was different." Another protest, though a sliver of doubt made its way in her voice.

"Yes, slightly" Luna agreed. "You feel you have no right to be angry with them. That is the guilt talking. Only when backed into a corner by Celestia did you push back."

"But I'm not angry with Celestia either!" More protests, and the doubt grew.

Luna clearly disagreed, as she let out a large, barely dignified snort. "Not angry? Do not try to fool me in this place, Sunset Shimmer. As dreams blur the lines between reality and fantasy, so too do they blur our emotional barriers. Your outburst against Celestia shows that you still carry a spark of anger towards my sister." Luna leaned closer, until their noses were almost touching. "What is it that angers you towards my sister? Is it perhaps how she kept secrets from you? Her demeanour of calm no matter the situation? How she banished you from her sight? How she replaced you with Twilight?"

"That is none of your business!" Sunset roared. Her voice thundered through the dream, the throneroom shaking as if struck by an earthquake. As the tremors receded, Sunset's eyes shrunk to pinpricks as she realized just who and on who's territory she had shouted against.

Luna on the other hoof did not flinch, instead she drew back slowly, and smiled. "Ahh, there she is. I had wondered how deeply you had buried her."

"W-what?" Sunset said, half out of fear half out of confusion, a front leg raised as if to take a step back.

"Just as you and Twilight talked about me through your journal, so have I spoken to Twilight and my sister about you. And they told me you were a wilful pony. Strong, determined, passionate. A mind as sharp as your wit. And I do think I finally saw a glimpse of that pony."

Sunset tried to shrink in on herself. "I don't want to be that pony anymore" she muttered.

"You are that pony, Sunset Shimmer." Luna objected. "You merely need to temper your wilful nature with the lessons you have learned. You are a pony who would face an approaching storm without flinching. Be that pony, do not let guilt chain you down. Forgive yourself, Sunset Shimmer, and then move on to work for the forgiveness of others. Take it from somepony who has been where you are now, you must take the first step. Others will not do it for you. They may help you, but the step is yours to take."

Sunset chewed on the Princesses words. It was true, she certainly had been holding back a lot lately. Any time someone said something she disagreed with, she stayed quiet. Every time someone said something that upset her, she deflected. She was always afraid getting angry would break her friendships, or worse, that she'd slide back to who she used to be. "You make it sound so easy." Sunset grumbled.

"It is not, but that is why we have friends to help us" Luna smiled. "But for that, you will have to ask Twilight. I can sense her worry for you through the dream realm, not only as a princess, but as a friend. Let her help you. Friendship is her domain after all, and I would no more intrude on it than she would my night." Luna reached down and cupped Sunset's chin "have courage, Sunset Shimmer. You have friends here, and regardless of the troubles you have sealed inside you, we will stand by you."

Sunset hesitated. Could she do that? Was it really that simple? No, Princess Luna just said it wouldn't be. It would be hard.

She blinked, and frowned. Hard? When had she ever shied away from things that were hard? She was Sunset Shimmer! Breaker of academic records! Former protégé of Celestia! The mare that had schemed to conquer the throne of Equestria! Hard? Sunset Shimmer did not settle for easy, she relished hard!

Luna's smile widened even more as she watched the emotional storm play across Sunset's face. "At last, she sees."

"Yes, I think I do. I'm going to find a way to solve this situation, one way or another."

Luna nodded. "Hold on to that feeling, Sunset Shimmer. It may only be a dream's courage that will fade like your anger and fear once you wake, but it is also proof that it is still there, waiting for you to awaken once more."

"I will. Thank you, Princess Luna." Sunset answered, and bowed.

"Then I believe our meeting is at an end. I shall depart, but perhaps not before a parting gift."

There was a flash of light from Luna's horn and after it had vanished, so had the throneroom. Instead, Sunset looked around to see Canterlot Park. Not the human one, but the actual Equestrian one. A huge park at the end of the city limits, overlooking Equestria proper. It was night, and lights shone from the houses of the cities in the distance. And the stars- oh the stars. Sunset could not remember having ever seen a night's sky like this, and the moon! So clear, so bright without the Mare in the Moon.

"'Tis but a reflection, but I believe it does justice to my night." Luna said proudly. "Consider it a welcome home present, Sunset Shimmer. And worry not, as long as you remain in Equestria, your dreams are under my protection. No nightmares shall plague your slumber. Should you ever feel the need to talk, you need but call for me." And with that, Luna took wing, slowly flying backwards to the moon in the sky. "Until we meet in the waking world, my friend."

"We will!" Sunset promised. She watched as Luna seemed to phase through the moon as if it was a window, and vanished from her dream. She laid down on the grass, smiling contently at the dream-like feeling of grass tickling her through her fur. She knew this was only a dream, and none of her actual problems back in the waking world had been addressed, but still, her first night in Equestria and she had already made a new friend.

Maybe things really were looking up.