Season 4: Winter Blues
Starlight looked out her bedroom window. Hearth's Warming Eve was only a day away and she could see the snow piling onto the floor. It was a beautiful snowfall, it wasn't too hard and yet it stuck to the surface. The chill of Winter could be felt all throughout Ponyville, as seen by the ponies wandering in coats, hats and scarves.
Speaking of the holidays, the unicorn had a little something in mind for a friend. She just needed to figure out how to do it. Her eyes were baggy and she felt the weather actually getting to her, noticing that the sky was a lot darker than when she first started. Turning around, she looked to her desk, seeing an open book, her journal. There she used her magic to lift a quill to write. This had been something an entire season in the making, hiding it everytime she visited Sunset since the day she spoke with Twilight back in Autumn.
'Okay, I think I figured it out.' she wrote, 'My gift for Sunset is to tell her how I really feel. Why I have been acting weird lately around her. The fact I may have a crush on her... Ugh, I wish it was that easy... No, I need to think of something else. Something meaningful for somepony as sweet as her. I already have something for Trixie, Sunburst, and the others... Why is this so hard?' she asked herself in frustration. 'I can't just confess like that out of the blue. That'll be too weird...'
Once Starlight charted down the sentence, she dropped her quill and exhaled, confliced more than ever on how to handle this. However, her eyes darted down to the book, seeing it vibrate and glow. Curious, she closed it and looked at the cover, her eyes widening once she saw the sun symbol on the front and she was instantly slackjawed, "No... No! NO!" she screamed, tossing the book to the ground in pure shock, unable to even look at now.
There she sat, tears beginning to escape from her eyes now, realizing that she messed up... Sunset was going to get that message... She was going to find out. No matter how soon she left, it'd already be too late. She felt like she just ruined a wonderful friendship because of her emotions. A lone sniffle was heard, regretting her mistake.
She was embarassed. She felt she could no longer look at Sunset ever again. It was over. With a defeated grunt, she slammed her head onto the desk and cried into her hooves, her fur getting stained with her watery eyes. Not like she cared at this point.
Two hours later, outside her room was Twilight, who politely knocked, "Starlight? Do you want some pancakes? Spike's making some!" she offered to her student, unaware of her current troubles. She was able to hear some sniffles from where she was at and her smile instantly morphed into a frown.
"GO AWAY!" the tone and audacity of Starlight's voice made Twilight jump in surprise. Now concerned for her friend, the alicorn opened the door, seeing the unicorn crying. She heard the door creak and snapped her head upward, "I SAID GO AWAY!" she snarled. Twilight immediately noticed her bloodshot eyes and the tears running down her cheeks and knew something happened. "P-Please... Leave me alone..." begged Starlight in a much quieter tone than before, catching the princess off-guard.
Twilight didn't say anything when she closed the door behind her and instead embraced her student in a much needed hug, which was returned in kind. She could feel and hear Starlight cry into her shoulder for a few moments, "Oh, Twilight... I'm such an idiot!" she cried out in disappointment.
"No, you're not... What happened?" asked Twilight.
Starlight inhaled, "I was writing about how I was gonna tell Sunset how I felt... But I accidentally wrote it to her in the magic book...! She coughed, "N-Now, I'm afraid to see her response..." she said. "I s-screwed up..." she admitted.
Twilight stroked her mane, "You didn't screw up. Sunset's understanding. I'm sure if the two of you talk about it..."
"No! I-I can't! Not like this!" Starlight whimpered, "She p-probably wants nothing to do with me now!"
The Princess of Friendship frowned, "That's not true..." she comforted with a hush, "Just trust me... She won't hate you for this, Starlight... I promise..." she promised aloud, knowing the unicorn turned human. She had faith.
Starlight could be heard sniffling, "Y-You sure...?"
"Yes..."
The teacher and student remained still. It didn't matter how long for Twilight, since she felt Starlight's comfort came first, especially consdering it was the holidays. The only noises heard was the snow outside and Starlight's quiet sobs. She noticed that the sniffles and heavy panting turned to light snores and breathing after sometime. Starlight fell asleep and Twilight smiled, using her magic to gently place her in her bed under the covers.
Looking down, Twilight saw the magic journal. Wanting to help her friend anyway she could, the princess opened the book, and noticed that Sunset did in fact respond. An intriguing response at fhat. Wanting to finish the conversation, Twilight grabbed Starlight's quill with her magic and wrote a response and a small favor.
Morning came and Starlight's eyes fluttered open, her cheeks now dry. She inhaled, realizing she slept through the night peacefully. The unicorn felt a twinge in her chest, recalling the events and she looked to the ground in sadness, not feeling the need to stand up anymore. It was over, she felt. Sunset would want nothing to do with her. How long before she ruined her other friendships?
With a yawn, the unicorn rolled back under the covers and chose to go back to sleep. She definitely wasn't in a festive mood, despite it being Hearth's Warming Eve. She could still see snow falling through her window, being her only source of entertainment now.
However, a knock thwarted her plans to isolate herself and she grunted in annoyance, revealing that she was awake. "Morning, Starlight." called put Twilight, "Are you ready for today?"
Starlight grumbled, and it was enough for her mentor to respond, "...I figured as much. There's somepony who wants to talk to you. Do you mind if I let them in?" she wondered.
"Do whatever. I'm just gonna mess things up anyway..." grumbled Starlight, not caring at all.
Her door creaked open, and she could hear hoofsteps, "...Starlight?" said mare immediately recognized this voice and gently raised her head to turn it, seeing Sunset Shimmer standing across from her. To the purple unicorn, she still looked gorgeous as a pony and she tried to hide her imminent blush.
"S-Sunset...?"
The visitor sat her flank on the edge of the bed, seeing Twilight close the door to give them some privacy. A few moments of awkward silence was shared before Sunset finally broke the ice, "...So, I got your message last night..." she revealed.
Starlight frowned, "I know... I'm an idiot. You want nothing to do with me now, and I completely understand."
Shaking her head, Sunset replied, "No, that's not what I said at all. You didn't get my response?"
"N-No... I panicked." the purple unicorn admitted with some shame.
Sunset managed a thin smile and held her friend's hoof, "...To be honest, I knew something was wrong with you for a while, but I wasn't sure what. When... When I got your message it all began to make sense as to why you were acting so differently. And... I guess I panicked too." she admitted with a light chuckle.
Starlight tilted her head, "Why did you panic? You're way more experienced in friendship than I am."
"Last time I was in a relationship, I was only in it for popularity... Not because I actually liked him. I used him, abused him... I'm glad that he was willing to forgive me when I realized how much I screwed up." the fiery-haired mare revealed with a frown. "I'm just afraid I'll mess it up again."
"I know you're not like that anymore, Sunset." Starlight corrected, reaching her other hoof for her friend's. "You've moved on from that... You have nothing to worry about... Me, on the other hoof, I have still have way too much to learn about this..."
Sunset shook her head, allowing her friend to continue, "...I'm still new to all this. To friendship... And I screw up. A lot. I don't think I-I can handle being in something like this... a relationship, that is. It's stupid... But that's why I've been so hesitant, because I know no matter what happens, I'm gonna mess it up and you're gonna hate me because of it." she admitted with a defeated sigh, a lone tear escaping her eye as she announced this, wiping it away with a hoof.
Without any warning, Sunset embraced Starlight in a hug, the purple mare's face beginning to grow warm at the feeling, and she responded, "...My message was about your Hearth's Warming gift... After having sometime to think it over last night, I couldn't find you anything, so I hope what I do have makes up for it." she revealed to the other unicorn at last, ending the embrace.
Starlight blinked, "What is--"
She couldn't finish her sentence. Her brain instantly froze once she felt something warm and soft pressed against her cheek. A quiet hum was heard coming from her crush as her lips met her cheek. Starlight had no idea how to process this, and butterflies began to fly in her stomach, her cheeks turned a shade darker and her jaw was agape. She couldn't believe that this was actually happening.
Then, Sunset finally parted from her friend's cheek, "I did think you were pretty cute when we met." she revealed, grabbing the stunned Starlight's hoof, "And I wouldn't worry about you messing things up. We have a lot to learn it seems, and I'm willing to figure things out if you want to do the same.." she chuckled lightly.
Starlight blinked, "Y-Yes..." she squeaked and stammered, earning a chuckle from Sunset Shimmer as a response. "W-Why though? Why are you willing to g-give me a chance, even after knowing that I... I could ruin this?"
Sunset shrugged her shoulders, "Because we all make mistakes, Starlight. But with time and experience, we can have a better grasp of these things and how to approach them. We were both... less than pleasant to say the least, yet here we both are learning the ropes of friendship despite what we've done with some of the greatest people, uh, ponies to call our friends. You're smart, fun, and pretty cute, especially when your face lights up when I explain something about the world I live in. I mean who wouldn't think so?" she chuckled lightly, "Ponies change, Starlight, and I think we can tackle this new lesson together to learn more about what it means. If you want." she comforted.
"..." paused Starlight, absorbing what her crush just said, "A-Alright... If you're willing to believe in me...I'll do it."
Sunset smiled, "Merry Christmas, oh, er, I mean Hearth's Warming, Starlight... I think I'll stick around for a while longer before hearing home." she said finally, leaning on Starlight's shoulder. It was at this moment, where everything felt right. Where as if months of stress just vanished from the purple unicorn. They could just sit like this for eternity, and they wouldn't care.
So, that's what brought me here. After months of confusion, discussions and aimless research, I find myself writing about this. Especially since Sunset's sitting here next to me wondering how this all happened in the first place now.
I came to realize an error in my logic thanks to her. Time. Ever since I realized I had a crush on her, I never really once thought that perhaps I can figure the whole relationship thing out as we go along. I didn't know better and assumed that everything that could go wrong would in an instant, and I'm disappointed to admit it took me this long to realize that it wasn't actually the case.
Because despite my screwups, how strange I acted when we first met, my flustered moments around her recently, my past, all the way to my accidental confession... She's still here, sitting with me and reading this message. Willing to give me a chance, despite my insistence that it wouldn't work.
Like the seasons that led to this very moment, I'll just let time play things out... But I have a feeling everything's gonna work out in the end.
As Sunset and Starlight laughed over past events, they failed to hear the sound of quiet creaking. A purple eye peeked through the crack made and she watched for her student and friends.
Twilight smiled proudly, glad to see Starlight and Sunset happy for the holidays. She gently closed the door and held a hoof to her chest and sighed, "I'm so proud."