Chapter 12: Whodunnit?
Before Fluttershy left, we questioned Streak; we needed to know what we were getting ourselves into.
“Come on, we need to catch those poachers.”
“Hold on, Twilight. Hey Fluttershy—oh for feather’s sake, can you tell her?”
“Fluttershy! Wait!”
We landed next to a surprised Fluttershy.
“We need to ask Streak a couple of questions, do you mind?”
“Oh not at all!” Fluttershy hesitated briefly. “Erm, if you don’t mind, can you translate for me? I mean, if you want to, that is.”
“Sure!” Twilight replied, then she turned to Streak. “Erm, Streak, can you hear us?”
Streak blinked at us, then when she saw us all staring at her, she tilted her head. “My name is not Streak.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s Streakimilidiliowlinia!”
Twilight’s eyebrows drew together. “So it’s Streak.”
“No it’s Streakimilidiliowlinia!”
I glanced at Twilight. “It’s surprising how close Fluttershy got without even asking.”
“She asked,” Streak replied, “and I answered, but she just kept calling me Streak.”
“So you’re Streak.”
“No I’m Streakimilidiliowlinia!”
“Right, Streak, we need to ask you a few questions, please.”
Streak made to reply, but then rolled her eyes as she huffed. “Oh fine, whatever.”
“Do you know where your mother is?”
Streak went quiet for a few moments as tears welled up in her eyes. “No.” She glanced towards the forest. “She was trying to chase off some bad things.”
“Bad things? What kind of things?” Streak shrunk away from Twilight’s intense look. The offending alicorn immediately smoothed her expression. “Sorry! Sorry! I just wanted to know.”
Streak nodded warily. “It’s okay. The other pony is nice but she talks to me like I’m two years old. I’m glad you don’t.”
“How old are you?” I asked.
I nearly fell off Twilight’s shoulder when she answered. “I’m five!”
“You can hear me?” I spluttered.
Streak tilted her head. “You can hear me, can’t you?”
Twilight smiled at her. “Well, we want to get you back to your mother, she must be worried sick about you.”
Streak shivered in her blanket wrappings. “The mean things are in the forest. You have to help Mommy.”
I chirped at her. “Don’t worry, Twilight is a very powerful magical princess.”
“A princess?” Streak tilted her head. “What’s that?”
“Absolutely nothing!” Twilight cut in before I could say anything. “Don’t worry about it!” She squealed happily and danced on the spot.
“What’s magic?” Streak motioned at Twilight with her head. “And what’s she doing?”
I shrugged at the young Bite as I answered in Twilight’s stead. “Erm, I’ll explain later.” I sent the beaming alicorn a quizzical look. Why was she so happy? “Can you tell us what these mean things look like?”
“They had horns and they were very strong and they looked mean.”
Very helpful, I thought to myself, but that wasn’t really fair on her. She was on the run at the time. Still, it was frustrating not knowing the full extent of what we were going to face.
“Right. I think you should stay here with Fluttershy.”
“Okay, I will stay with the weird pony that talks slow.”
When we were done, we handed Streak back to Fluttershy, who smiled endearingly at the struggling bundle of fur. Fluttershy made some cooing noises, but Streak merely rolled her eyes and crossed her forelegs.
When Fluttershy asked about what we spoke about, Twilight and I decided to keep the last part Streak mentioned to ourselves.
————————
As we headed back to Ponyville, I enjoyed the feeling of wind ruffling my feathers. My wing was still hurt, but considerably less so than before. Twilight insisted I perch on her shoulder, though, so I did that as we flew. I caught her looking thoughtful, however, and decided to see if she would share any thoughts as her eyebrows furrowed with her deep rumination.
“What’s going on in that big brain of yours?”
Twilight’s expression turned wry, though she kept facing forward, having learned quicker than Rainbow that to look away from what was in front of you while flying was to hit a cloud.
“Was I that obvious?”
“Yes.”
She sighed. “The Whos, the Bites, talking animals, there’s just so much happening all at once… I think I’m going crazy!”
I patted her on the shoulder with a free foot. “You’re doing fine, Princess. It’s not like this is the first time you’ve had to deal with a crisis.”
“I don’t like to deal with crises. I just want to have some quiet time, read some books and retire to a big bed with soft covers and a pillow. Sometimes… I think that I would be happier being somepony else.”
My beak flopped open in astonishment.
“Woah.” I realised, for the first time, that Twilight might never have wanted to be a princess, and yet the role and responsibility of being one had been foisted upon her. I caught her worrying about whether she’d live up to expectations or anxiety about her performance, but never directly about her position. “Do you regret becoming a princess?”
“No, no, no,” Twilight shot back quickly, “it’s not like that. There’s so much great about this position. I can help others, teach others, learn and grow and see so much. I just… wish I could do that without the fate of Equestria laying at my hooves every time.”
I finally understood. It wasn’t so much that Twilight didn’t want to be a princess, she simply wanted to be somepony that helped others without that crushing weight of responsibility. And it was a heavy weight, the burden of lives never got lighter, was worrying her.
“If it helps, I think that you’re probably the most suited for this job. I’ve seen a lot of rulers in my time, and I think you’re one of the best.”
“You really think so? Also, many rulers?”
“Hey I’ve lived a long time. And, well, like I said, you’re not the best-looking one.” I got smacked by a backstroke-wing for that. Worth it. “But, you know, anything that doesn’t look like a bird, looks weird. At least you have wings, which is a bonus. I haven’t told you this before, but I only stick around interesting beings, and while you aren’t perfect, you’re super interesting.”
“Thanks, Owlowisicious. You know… Streak not knowing I was a princess made me happy for a bit.”
“Why?”
“Because she didn’t think it was a big deal and just treated me like I was normal.”
That’s right, she was freakishly happy when Streak didn’t know that Twilight was a princess. But I still didn’t get it. “Lots of ponies treat you like normal.”
“Of course, if they know me, but they all treat me like a princess if they don’t.”
“Some ponies don’t bow to you when they meet you, or treat you like a princess.” I’ve seen quite rude fellows in my time, but that’s proof that most ponies or other creatures didn’t care she was a princess, right? “That means they don’t care, right?”
“Actually, it shows that they still do. They either treat me reverently, or irreverently; it’s all polar opposites and extremes.” Twilight shook her head morosely. “It’s never like it was before, just a ‘hello’ or a ‘good day’ or a casual ‘hey, how’s it going?’. I miss just being a normal pony.”
“What?” I chuckled. “You are the normalest pony I know, Twilight. Don’t ever think you’re different, or you’ll start acting like it.”
Twilight’s ear twitched as she smiled. “You’re right, Owlowiscious.” Then she turned silent and flew on a little while. I felt a little bit of melancholy from the neurotic mare, so I decided to set her straight.
“You know, I never told you my real name.”
That was enough to stop Twilight dead in the air.
“Oh dear Celestia, I haven’t even thought about that!” She turned around to me. “I’m sorry, Owl—” She blushed. “Sorry, erm, habit. What’s your real name?”
“Oh so now you ask.”
Twilight fumbled around for words as she blushed deeply. “I-I didn’t mean it! I’m just so used to calling you Owlowiscious, I mean, now that I think about it, that’s a pretty crude name… It’s actually quite ridiculous.”
“I mean really, it’s like calling somepony ‘poniponicia’! How rude!”
“Sorry!” Twilight bit her lip. “What should I call you? What’s your name?”
I laughed at her. “I don’t have one. Most creatures I meet are content with just calling me ‘owl’. You can just call me Owlowiscious. I quite like that name.”
Twilight puffed her cheeks out and pouted. “That was mean.”
“It got you to stop brooding, didn’t it?”
“Oh fine. Yeah, I guess it did.”
“And you did ask me for my real name in a roundabout way before, you know?”
“What? When?”
“All the way back when you were interrogating me. You said: “Spill it, Owlowiscious. If that is indeed your real name.”.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “That sounds so cheesy when you repeat it like that.”
“It was cheesy. What were you trying to be? A detective?”
“I thought I was doing pretty well, actually,” Twilight grumbled. “It got you to talk.”
“But not my name.” I chuckled. “That’s what you get for applying stuff you read in books into real life.”
“It would have worked if this was a story. Besides, you spilled everything, so there.”
“Well… I guess it did,” I fluffed my feathers and tilted my head at her. “So we’re probably in a story.”
Twilight laughed. “Oh, the story of our lives! I forgot owls could be so philosophical.”
I clacked my beak at her. “We are very wise. Or only me. The others give me a bad reputation, all they do is hoot. Pretenders!”
“What do other owls talk about?”
“Oh boring things, you would not imagine! Like existence, the meaning of life and so on.”
“Aren’t those really important questions?”
“Not if you spend your whole life on it! It’s all Gummy’s fault; he thinks he’s so clever, that armchair philosopher. I, at least, have experienced more in heaven and on earth than he has piddling around in a swamp and staring into the Cosmic Void.”
“Wait, Owlowiscious, you’re telling me Gummy’s reached enlightenment? Also, what’s the Cosmic Void?”
“Oh of course now you’re interested too. I’m pretty sure that alligator hasn’t reached anything. Trust me, seeing the world through that alligator’s eyes will drive you nuts. Like the Cosmic Void. Don’t find the Cosmic Void, and if you do, don’t stare into it. In fact, don’t even mention it. There is no Cosmic Void. It doesn’t exist. The Cosmic Void doesn’t exist.“
“But—“
“THERE IS NO COSMIC VOID!”
Twilight reared her head back. “Alright, alright, there’s no Cosmic Void.”
“Trust me, I stared into it for a couple of centuries and do you know what I found?”
“What?”
“Nothing. It’s a waste of time.” I fluffed my feathers. “The Cosmic Void is all hype. Bleh. Who knows why Gummy sticks around Pinkie? She’s the direct opposite of him.”
“I think pets are most reflective of their owners.”
“Winona is straightforward and lively, Opalesence is prim and proper, Tank is dedicated, enduring and loyal, and I’m very intelligent and curious.” I locked gazes with Twilight, banking over the outer-limits of Ponyville, where the Whos were gathered. “What I don’t get is how Gummy is the same as Pinkie in any way shape or form.”
“Well I guess you’re not as wise as you thought, because Gummy matches her perfectly.”
“How?” I demanded.
Twilight pointed down. “Because what she shows outside is not what she necessarily feels on the inside. Because she wants ponies around her to like her. Because she’s afraid of what ponies think about her.”
“How do you know that’s what Gummy feels?”
“I probably don’t, but do you think an ‘enlightened’ being would go out of his way to attend every one of your secret meetings?” With my vision, I could see Gummy gripping tightly to Winona’s fur as she darted towards Applejack’s farm. Winona was fast! We couldn’t even beat her flying?!
“Heh, well hey, isn’t that the Whos? What are they doing?”
———————
Earlier that day, Mayor Mare was pulling out her mane dealing with the fanatics.
“Who Griselda, do you have a moment?”
Griselda broke off from a gathering of griffons that wore hard construction hats and reflective vests. They saluted her and scattered as Griselda nodded towards them. The Who of the Whos stalked towards the mayor in a dignified manner, looking very much like royalty, as if Princess Celestia herself was walking towards her.
Complaints she had so easily voiced in front of the other agreeing Council members died in her throat as the imposing figure swept in. Griselda bowed slightly with a flourish.
“How may we assist you, Mayor Mare?”
The Mayor took a deep breath and forcibly stopped her teeth from rattling.
“Ahem, Who Griselda, you must obtain permission from us to construct any structures within Ponyville.”
Griselda tilted her head thoughtfully. “Perhaps we can come to some sort of agreement?”
“It is already very trying to get the representatives in the Council to agree on allowing you asylum in Ponyville and that was only because it was a kind request from Princess Twilight herself. We cannot simply—“
A dull clinking sound resounded in the clearing. The sounds of hand saws, hammering and shouts and orders all faded into the background as Mayor Mare eyeballed the sack that fell open on the ground in front of her.
“That is two hundred thousand platinum Equestrian bits; an extinct currency, I hear, from what some of our followers have informed me. I believe the value today is roughly six or seven hundred million Equestrian bits. You and your representatives can overlook this for this much, right?”
Mayor Mare stared at the coins for a long time, before tearing her gaze away. “That’s not—“
“Enough?” Griselda sighed. “Very well, that is a trifling amount for us, we can always—“
“No, I mean that is not acceptable! Bribing an official, I won’t tolerate such nonsense!” Mayor Mare glared at Griselda. “I’m insulted that you would think I would do such a thing!” She sighed. “Although I could think of a million ways that would be useful for our rickety school, or our clogged fountain, or our worn down paths… it would be wrong. I came here to represent my constituent's wishes.”
Griselda raised a feathered brow. “You just admitted to yourself that this money could do a lot of good for Ponyville. You can take it and use it for the town. You wouldn't be betraying your constituents.”
“I will not!” Mayor Mare pursed her lips, and then her shoulders sagged heavily. “But I will take it to the Council Meeting and bring it up in the Agenda. They do have the right to know about this. In all likelihood you will get what you want with this sort of money anyway.”
Griselda glanced at the sack and then back at Mayor Mare, her smug façade faded as she started to realise that the Mayor was not like any other bureaucrat she’d come across before. “Then why not take it now? Save yourself the hassle of a meeting.”
“Because, Who Griselda, my integrity is worth more than any amount of bits.”
Mayor Mare didn’t see the worried expression on Griselda’s face as she walked back towards the town. Later that day, when Mayor Mare returned to the clearing, she was surprised to see the Whos had moved past the town limits. Even more shocking, on return to her office, an unknown griffon had left a sack of strange silver-coloured bits at the front counter of Town Hall. Mayor Mare smiled. That griffon wasn’t as unknown as she thought.
Also later that day, a statue of Princess Twilight Sparkle was erected.