"Unnnngh..." Pinkie fidgeted in her torn ballgown, crossing and uncrossing her legs. She clenched her teeth to the breaking point. "I can't wait! What's taking her so long?"
"Give her a rest, will ya?" Applejack nibbled on a doughnut, nearly wretched at its offensive lack of apple, and decided to wash her own words down with a sip of coffe. "Ahhh..." She threw a tired freckled smile across the table of Doughnut Joe's cafe where all five mares were gathered. "Whatever Rainbow's up to—it's her business. And I'm sure it's important."
"Applejack, honestly," Rarity chuckled breathily, waving a hoof. "When is a lady's business not important?"
"When Pinkie Pie needs to go, obviously," Fluttershy interjected with a smug little smile.
The whole table laughed... including the butt of the joke.
"Ha ha ha ha ha—owwwwwwieeee..." Pinkie Pie crossed her hooves even harder. "My flower squirter!"
Rarity nearly spat out her coffee. "Pinkie! Honestly!"
"Why did you drink so much anyways?" Fluttershy asked.
"Hey!" Pinkie pouted. "I worked up a sweat trying to get those stuffy wallflowers in the Royal Palace to dance their hoofsies off!" She inhaled. Exhaled. Inhaled. And continued: "Plus... Princess Celestia was here! I get super duper nervous in front of Royalty!"
"You do not," Applejack droned, rolling her eyes.
"Hey! Be easy on her!" Twilight sipped from a mug of coffee, blushed, and adjusted the tattered collar of her gown. "I know the feeling. No pitcher of water—no matter how tall—can help you hold your courage when talking to the Alicorn of the Sun!"
"Boy! She's telling the truth!" Doughnut Joe chuckled from behind the cafe's. "Every time she came here to cram for a semester's final, she'd order three stacks of cinnamon swirl and three whole glasses of water!"
"Grrrrrrr!" Pinkie's eyes were crossing this time. "Everypony. Stop. Saying. Water!"
"Here's a suggestion, Joe." Twilight waved her hoof from the distance. "Install a second restroom!"
"Yeah..." Applejack chuckled. "Or make the two you've got already unisex."
"Ugh..." Rarity rolled her eyes. Hard. "That'll be the day."
"I'm just surprised that we're the only ponies here," Fluttershy murmured.
"Why?" Rarity squinted. "Because we're the only souls with the good notion to abandon that boorish social function?"
"Land's sakes!" Applejack gawked at the fashionista. "You sure did turn a new leaf fast!"
"Tonight was an eye-opening experience for me, Applejack," Rarity droned. She regained some civility with a haughty upturn of her nose. "I'm sure it was the same for all of you as well. Sometimes... yes... sometimes aristocratic engagements aren't nearly what they're cracked up to be."
"Lest we forget, Rarity..." Twilight stared across the table with wagging eyebrows. "We're the prime reason for 'that boorish social function' going downhill."
"Oh goodness..." Fluttershy sank in her seat. "I feel absolutely horrible."
"Well, don't!" Applejack tossed her golden bangs back and smirked. "If you ask me? We made an improvement!"
Rarity lifted her coffee mug. "Hear hear!"
"Hah hah hah..."
"Yes, well..." Twilight sipped again, smiling. "So long as you don't bring any 'improvements' to my mother's and father's place during our stay, starting tonight."
Applejack sat up straight and held a hoof up. "We'll be on our best behavior, sugarcube. Scout's honor." She blinked across the table. "How's the gesture go again, Pinkie Pie? I'm needin' to cash in on yer swear right abouts now."
"Ughhhh!" Pinkie practically fell out of the booth. "I can't stand it anymore!" She galloped straight for the restroom door.
"Therrrrrrrrre she goes!" Donut Joe cooed.
"Oh, Pinkie, please!" Twilight pleaded.
"Don't worry!" Donut chuckled. "I've got a mop!"
"Ay gevalt..." Rarity face-hoofed.
"Dashie Dashie Dashie!” Pinkie’s voice resembled a tornado siren as she stomped and pounded repeatedly on the mare's room door. “How long are you gonna take in there! Cut a mare a break! Pretty pretty pretty pleasies! Ohhhhh-ohhhhhh!”
"Rain dance harder, darlin'!" Applejack called out as Fluttershy giggled ceaselessly. "Maybe the buffalo will stampede all the way from Appleloosa and hoof you a bucket!"
"Oh gosh..." Fluttershy fanned herself, red in the face. "...even Angel didn't have this much trouble being house-trained."
"Haah haah haah!"
ThudThudThudThud! “Dasssssshieeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
“Hold your horses! I… er…” A voice mumbled from within. The door opened to reveal a petite athlete's adorable, scrunching face. "You know what I mean!”
Pinkie practically barreled through her, rushing into the room and slamming the door behind. “ThankyouRainbowtalktoyoulaterkaythanksbye!” Thud!
“Unngh…” Rainbow Dash teetered, fidgeting with her gown. “Sheesh. Either cut back on the sarsaparilla or borrow a water tower for your bladder, girl.” She paused to flex her fetlock for some reason.
“Rainbow! There you are!” Twilight Sparkle called across the cafe, waving. “Come on over! Joe baked us the last batch of doughnuts for the night! We know how much you hate to lose out on the last bite!”
“Quickly, darling!” Rarity’s added melodically. “Before Pinkie returns from her… business and leaves you starving.”
Rainbow wandered over slowly, head bowed and mumbling.
“Don’t you fret none, sugarcube,” Applejack said, pointing at a plate. “I saved ya the blueberry swirls one.”
Rainbow perked up almost immediately. "Oh, AJ! Thank you!" She hopped into a seat across from the farm mare. "Thanks a ton!” She winced briefly, raising her wing to cough off-key... then finally accepted the pastry treat slid towards her.
“There ya go, Rainbow.” Applejack said. Applejack smiled. The night wasn't as young as it used to be, but nopony seemed to mind. Starlight glinted off of Rainbow's perfectly prismatic mane—disheveled as it was—and somehow that reintroduced just the right amount of magic into the room. "You do fancy yerself some blueberry, don’t you?”