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// 2: I Never Had a Dream Come True 
// Story: An Even Worse Self Insert 
// by ROBCakeran53 
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"I never had a dream come true
I never had a sky of blue
I never walked a lane that had a turning
I never found the answer to my lonely yearning..."

I rarely ever remember my dreams when I wake up. I’ve had people tell me that they keep a journal, so right as they wake up they write them down, and over the years it helps them remember more and more. I was never the kind of person for journals, or keeping track of my own thoughts. Most of the time, I wanted the thoughts to just go away, so why would I want to keep a record of them?

More so, I get constant senses of deja vu. Something happens and suddenly I feel as though I remembered it, but I couldn’t act to stop the event, or change the outcome. I liked to think that I had actually dreamed the occurrence, my brain trying to warn me ahead of time about something. Clearly, my brain doesn’t know me as well as it thinks it does, because I never listen. I never react, or try to change anything that happens.

I just let nature take its course.

However, I do have dreams, aspirations in life that I’d like to have happen. For something to go the way I intended, and actually feel accomplished for doing it. Instead I have all these dreams pile up, and after several years the dream becomes nothing but rot and or rust, the value long lost and not worth pursuing.

“I like how this song changes pace.”

I looked to my left, Twilight Sparkle was sitting on my couch again.

“And hello to you too.” I said.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Hello…” Twilight tapped her chin with a hoof. “Come to think of it, I never did ask your name the last time.”

“Alex,” I said, pouring myself a glass of tonic water.

Twilight levitated a bottle of water between us. “I hope you don’t mind, but I helped myself to some water.”

I shook my head. “Not at all.”

“Thank you. I find it so odd and fascination that you people bottle your water into thin plastic containers.” Twisting the cap off she took a sip, licking her lips in thought. “And it tastes almost… artificial. Are there things added to it?”

“Chemicals to enhance it, so they say. I just drink from the tap personally.”

“Good idea. I’ll remember next time.”

I look back to my record player, taking a sip of my beverage as I watch the record spin. It has a slight warp to it, making the arm bounce slightly. Not enough to disrupt the music, but make it an odd sight to see.

“Is this a quartet?” she asked.

I just nod my head, listening to the lyrics.

“They’re quite good. Reminds me of the Ponytones.”

“This is the Ink Spots.”

Twilight let out a small laugh. “I know a pony named Ink Spots.”

“Oh yeah? Does he sing?”

Twilight shook her head. “No, he’s in the printing industry. Books, mostly.”

“Figures.” I said, looking down to stare at my aching feet.

Twilight hummed, bringing my attention back to her.

“You look tired," she said.

“I am. I just got home from work a half hour ago.”

“On a Saturday?” she asked, shocked.

“Yeah. I work weekends.”

“Why?”

“No one else wants to. My boss covers the morning, and I come in on the evening so he can go home and spend time with his family.”

“What about your family?”

I shrugged, then took another sip of tonic water.

“Do you have children?”

“None that I’m aware of.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. I laughed.

“Oh come on, usually people get at least a chuckle out of that.”

“Not my kind of comedy, honestly.”

“Let me guess, romance comedies?”

Twilight blushed.

I pointed at the mare. “Ahhh, see? Told ya.” I scooched myself into the couch more comfortably.

Just as I did so, the record player went dead with a loud clunk. I sighed, it always did this when I was just finally comfortable.

“Here, allow me.”

Before I could blink, Twilight’s magic played with the stereo.

“Hey hey now, easy does it there. That thing’s older than I am, and I’ve barely been able to keep it operational all these years.”

“Then why don’t you get a new one?”

“Because it still works.”

“Well, this still beats what we use. Manual crank players, what I would give to have something like this.”

“Well, when you get electricity let me know. I got spares, you can have one.”

Twilight stopped fiddling with the player. “R-really?”

I shrugged. “Sure, I have a dozen of them. Might need a little work and be as dated as mine, but so what?” I stood, pulling the lever back to start the turntable again.

“Well, it’s just, we’ve only met now twice. That is borderline Rarity generosity.”

“It’s just an old record player, not a diamond worth millions.” Once the player warmed up, I place the arm on the record and begin the song again.

“Well, still I really do appreciate the offer.”

I sat back down, the couch protesting my weight. “And I appreciate the company.”

“Likewise.”

Both of our attentions returned to watching the record player, occasionally both of us sipping from our drinks.

“It’s funny, thinking about it after the fact, but I’ve had many of my dreams come true.”

I looked to the mare, brow raised. “You dreamed of being a princess?”

“Not exactly…” she pressed a hoof into the couch cushion, feeling the fabric.

“So what then?” I asked.

“Well, I didn’t even realize it until long after, but having my friends.”

“You were a shut in book nerd, that’s not too unusual of a thing to want.”

Twilight stuck out her tongue at me. “Without them, lots of my dreams would still be dreams. Traveling the world, meeting new ponies and, well, other creatures,” she gave me a look.

“Human.”

“Right, you’re a human. Other Equestrian inhabitants as well. Going on the grand adventures I’ve been on, it’s just been non-stop. If it wasn’t all so unbelievable, I’d dare say that I was dreaming most of it.”

I hummed in agreement, sipping more at my drink. The song hit the beat change, another voice singing.

“What about you?”

“What about me?” I asked back.

“Do you have something you dream of doing, or having?”

I ran a finger along the rim of my glass. “Yeah, I did a couple times.”

“And did it happen?”

I stared at my feet again. They still hurt.

I could see out of the corner of my eye, Twilight’s ears went flat.

“Well, it can still happen. Whatever they are, there’s still a possibility.”

“I’ve given up on a lot of them. They’re either gone now, or they’re still sitting around, rotting away from time.”

It was quiet for a little while, up till the point the song ended again and the player shut off with its tell tale clunk.

“Well, you can always come up with new dreams, and try again.”

I stood, motioning to play the record again, but stopped.

“What if… what if I don’t want to anymore?”

“Want to what? Dream?”

“Yeah. What if… what if I’m sick and tired of having these dreams, cause when they don’t come true, I just give up on the idea.”

“There’s a difference between having a realistic dream, and something truly out of your reach.”

“You became an alicorn princess.”

“Okay, point taken, but I’m also from a world where everything is sunshine and rainbows.”

“Wow, meta much?”

“Meta what?”

“Never mind. Go on?”

“First, play the song again, please?”

I didn’t respond. I turned the machine on again and put the arm down. Taking my seat I turned so I faced her, my left leg semi-Indian style. Twilight shifted as well to face me, but continued to stare at the player as it spun.

At the beat change, Twilight looked back to me.

“Our worlds are totally different. So what we both see as realistic goals also vary.”

“I sure as hell don’t aspire to be a princess, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

Twilight chuckled at that. “No, of course not. So what then is an example of a realistic goal you’ve set for yourself?”

“To fix my car.”

“Car? That’s one of those metal carriages, yes?”

I nodded.

“Okay, well that sounds simple enough. Just go fix it.”

“I’ve been working on this particular car for fourteen years.”

“Four- wait how complicated are these things?” Twilight asked with alarm.

“Not very.”

“So, why…”

“I don’t know.” I looked away from the mare, instead focusing on the couch cushion with her hoof on it. “I just, I plan to work on it, hell I even start on it, but then… it just fades away, and sits for years before I touch it again.”

“Did you ever think that you don’t want to do it?”

“I’ve… yeah, the more I stare at it, just sitting there, the less I’m motivated to do anything about it.”

I looked back up to the mare’s face, right into her eyes. “But I’ve got dreams, wishes of that feeling when I finally get it running, and can drive it. I picture me driving down the road in it, happy that I finally did it. I achieved my goal.”

I realized I was smiling at that, and quickly frowned.

“But… it’s just not there when I want it to be.”

It was quiet, the sound of the record player shutting off was lost somewhere in the conversation.

“I wasn’t prepared to become an alicorn. It just happened.”

At some point my eyes had drifted to a stray whiskey bottle, sitting empty against my old suitcase. At her words I looked back up at the pony.

“If you give up totally, it will never be. But if you just keep going, even slowly, one day, it’s just going to happen. It will, but you can’t stop dreaming, even if you say it never can come true.”

“So just keep pushing on,” I said.

Twilight nodded. I glanced the clock behind her, it was one thirty in the morning. I turned in my seat, facing forward again. Down at my feet, the almost empty bottle of tonic water had just enough for one more glass.

“I think I have one more play in me, then I’m done for the night.” I said, taking the bottle and pouring the last of the clear liquid inside.

Twilight looked as though she wanted to say more, but bit her tongue.

“Yes?” I asked.

“I’m not quite tired yet. Would it be a problem if... “ she trailed off.

“The music doesn’t bother me, in fact I like to lay in bed with it playing. So yes, after my glass I’m going to bed, but you can keep playing records.”

Twilight gave a small smile, a whisper of thanks coming from her lips.

So the song played once more. I had my glass of tonic water gone before its end, and true to my word once the song did come to a close I got up and moved around behind the couch to my bed.

With her magic, this time correctly I noticed, she played the song again. I turned off the only lamp that had been on, casting the room into darkness, save for the lens on the stereo. As I closed my eyes and begin my nightly struggle to sleep, I could hear her humming, sometimes even whispering the lyrics to the song. For a moment, I swore she sounded sad as she sang, but I let it slide. I had enough problems of my own to dwell on tonight.

”I never had a dream come true…