Mandatory Motherhood
By Dargondarkfire
Ch. 6
June 9th. We reached Casper today… S-sorry. I haven't gotten much sleep, so I'm tired. I’ll give you a rundown, then I’m going to bed. When we got back to Gillette, we found Amore’s pack laying around the front of the apartment complex, or what was left of her pack. Their numbers were down to about a third of what they had when we left, and a fourth of the remaining dogs were hurt. I don’t know if there was in-fighting or if something attacked them.
They didn’t let us treat their wounds at first, and they acted hostile, even to Amore. They looked like they were going to attack us at first, which put us on edge. Colgate, in a panic, mentioned food and almost every dog went from hostile to being our best friends in the blink of an eye. Not every dog turned friendly, however: a st. bernard wouldn’t stand down and got into a barking match with Amore. I should have realized that in her absence, another dog would proclaim itself alpha. It didn’t take long for them to literally go for each other’s throats.
Colgate took Starla back inside the motorhome, while I sat in front of the door in case we had to make a break for it. I wanted to stop the fight but my gut told me that would be a very bad idea. I was relieved when Amore won. The st. bernard had got in a few good bites on her, but Amore had the advantage of being closer to the wolf family, where st. bernards are more of a family dog. The st. bernard wandered off and didn’t show up until later. Losing its position as alpha must be a shameful thing in a pack structure?
Once I reassured Colgate the coast was clear, she brought Starla out and helped me unload the dog food from the truck. When we got the first bags to the garage we had been using as a storehouse for them, I just about screamed. It was practically empty, there were empty torn up bags everywhere, trails of dog food leading off in several directions from the garage, and only a couple half emptied bags remained. I was pretty sure there must have been a power struggle which split the pack up, and then they fought over the food.
With a heavy heart, Colgate gave me a hand with treating the injured dogs, Starting with Amore and her fresh wounds. Out of all the injured dogs, Gums was in the worst shape, but I should have expected that considering he doesn’t have his teeth anymore. His police dog training probably drove him to dive into the fight despite being under-equipped. I… I feel bad. I was going to ask Colgate to give him his teeth back in the morning before we left. I should have had her do it sooner.
A little later towards evening, I noticed a small group of Amore’s pack wander off somewhere. My curiosity got the better of me and I did something really stupid, I followed them… Someone paid the price for it.
Colgate was occupied with Starla who was playing hide and seek with her legs and didn’t notice me slip away. I didn’t plan to be gone long and my shoes kept my feet, er hooves, from clicking across the sidewalk and pavement so no one heard me leave. Several blocks away I realized the group was patrolling the pack’s territory. The group moved warily by a section of houses with broken windows. I could smell it before I saw anything, the bodies of a few dogs in some of the yards and torn remains of dog food bags. I was pretty sure now, that the pack had split and there was a fight, but it wasn’t the only thing I could smell. The scent of a predator was in the air, it was different from a hostile dog and I couldn’t figure out what direction it was blowing in from.
I looked around and to my surprise, I saw Gums not far behind me, he was growling, it had me concerned and confused, was he going to attack me without teeth? I was so puzzled by his worrying behavior that I was thrown off guard by a rustling sound from some nearby bushes, and then he lunged at me. It was so sudden, anger was all I could feel for an instant as he slammed into me, I thought he had set me up to let another dog strike me down! My anger only lasted a moment before turning to terror when I heard a howl of pain.
I thought Gums was attacking as I saw him charge forward, but no he didn’t attack, or strike, or even touch me; he rushed in front of me and took the full force of the blow that I didn’t see coming, knocking me away from the predator.
Quickly getting back on my hooves, my eyes fell upon the one-sided scuffle. I couldn’t help but watch in horror as Gums uselessly tried to fight against the big cat, I couldn’t move. I was afraid, but more than that, I felt regret, I was ashamed for how I had treated him, anger at myself for treating him so badly. I felt like someone was telling me to run while I had the chance, but I didn’t. In a blur, my fear turned to rage and it felt like time slowed down around me, I rushed forward as best and bucked the mountain lion off of him.
From what Colgate told me about earth ponies I probably would have killed the mountain lion with that buck, I certainly snapped some bones and stunned it. That made it angry, but I was angrier. I’m barely making feathers levitate, but in my anger, I ripped a fence post out of the ground. The large cat pounced at me and I swung the wooden post into its side sending it into the wall of the house. I could hear screaming, as I smashed the post into the cat till the plank broke. In the heat of the moment, I couldn’t recognize who or what was screaming. Was it coming from me or was it the cat? Either way, I didn’t care. I pulled another of the wooden posts from the ground and drove it through the cat silencing it before it could retaliate.
You could have left out the details.
For a few moments, I just stared at the mountain lion till I realized the screaming had stopped. I collapsed and cried. I could hear Gums whining in pain and dogs barking from far away. My head hurt from using magic, and my heart ached from the hatred I had for an animal that just sacrificed itself for me.
My legs felt like gelatin, but I managed to pull myself up and get a good look at Gums, no that’s not his name... it never was. I noticed his dog tag while I looked over his wounds. There engraved in the metal was his name, “Luuk”. He wasn’t in good shape and it didn’t take long for the group I was following earlier to show up and start barking up a storm. Things get kind of blurry from there. I managed to get Luuk on my back and carry him home, while the other dogs followed me back. By the time I reached the house I was covered in blood.
Colgate was in an uproar and probably would have bitten my head off if it wasn’t for the blood I was covered in. She tried to patch him up, but she’s not a doctor or a veterinarian so all we could do was wait and see. I didn’t leave his side all night except for a shower, Colgate refused to let me sleep while covered in blood. Starla was snuggled up next to him when I got back, Bless her heart. I don’t think she even understands what happened, or maybe she does instinctively?
Luuk stopped breathing in the middle of the night, I didn’t sleep for most of it and cried till I couldn’t anymore. My dreams were rather grim… I rather not talk about those. In the morning I said some words for Luuk, he really didn’t deserve how I treated him. We wrapped him in a blanket and put him in the pool at the apartments, it felt a little odd but we didn’t have the time or the energy to give him a burial; besides other animals could just dig him up, this way the pool chemicals still in the water should keep them away.
Colgate helped me pack up all the electronics and some personal possessions from the house into the motorhome, I don’t know if we will come back now. While I would like to say these were bad memories, I’m more worried about Amore’s pack. Would she turn on us like the other dogs did unless we have food to offer? I got a shocking answer when I saw her sitting in front of the door to the motorhome when we were about to leave. I tried sending her away, I tried talking to her about the consequences that will happen for leaving her pack behind again. She either didn’t understand or just didn’t care, and forced her way inside once I opened the door.
The other dogs who went with us last time didn’t come, however. Colgate looked rather sad when they didn’t show any interest. She probably would have had a lonely drive if Archie hadn’t shown up, (which he only likes to do when it’s time to eat, sleep, or travel,) and hopped into the truck with her. I don’t know if he did it just to keep her company or if he did it to stay away from Starla, ever since the surge he doesn’t like to be around her and his colors still haven't come back. Considering he rarely stays around us I’m surprised he's coming along. Well, Archie gives us eyes in the sky at least, when he's around that is.
Amore and Starla refused to leave my side the rest of the day. The drive to Casper was long and somber, and there isn’t much to say about the city other than it looked deserted so far, we probably won't find anything immediately. We spent some time on my magic lessons and to test my limits after the incident; Colgate said I probably pulled that off because of anger and my desire to save Luuk. I-I don’t want to talk anymore, sorry. I’m going to sleep now.
He was clouded by hunger when you first met, under better circumstances the meeting would have taken a different path... It should have.
June 10th. It’s so hot! I don’t want to go outside anymore! It’s like wearing a fur coat in summer when I go outside… And that is because I have a lot more hair now. So, I should probably tell you what we found in Casper right? A whole lot of nothing! Casper is a lot bigger than Gillette and Sheridan, so I’m not sure how long we will be here. Colgate has been looking at the calendar a lot lately and scribbling notes on a notepad, all I could get out of her about it has been “timing” and “windows of opportunity”.
I don’t really know what to say? We found an elk living in someone’s greenhouse that we spotted from the road, but other than that we didn’t find anything. Colgate flipped the breaker when she tried to use vacuum while the AC and refrigerator were running. Because of this, we figured out that the AC and refrigerator eat almost everything the solar panels provide, so we have to run the generator if we want to use anything else. Great… This means we have to stay at gas stations to make sure we can keep the lights on. Nothing else to say, good night.
June 11th. I drove us around all day while Colgate hung out the window with a battery powered megaphone shouting for survivors and where to find our motorhome. We didn’t get a response, maybe someone will show up tomorrow? Colgate is going to give me some more magic lessons, Starla is asleep so I should have an hour or so to practice before she wakes up, which keeps her from her newest interest of trying to slap or bite my horn when it’s glowing. Colgate is adding something new to my training tonight as well, meditation, she thinks it will help me control the flow of magic so things I levitate won't explode anymore. That’s all for now.
June 12th. No one showed up in the morning so we left the generator running at the station and left some notes in case anyone showed up. We ran around town for supplies while shouting with the megaphone again. Wish we had about fifteen to twenty people with us and a semi or two because then we could really stock up at the Sam’s Club. No one showed up today, Colgate says if no one does by lunch tomorrow she wants to move on. Walking is getting easier and I can even canter decently now, although I have had to adjust my hind leg stance a bit, it felt like I’ve been holding my legs together too tightly lately.
Meditation was… an experience. Remember when I talked about experimenting with magic without help and feeling like I was suddenly being swallowed in an ocean of energy, and realized that when I was a human I had merely been standing in a puddle of the stuff? Well, meditating is basically the same thing, just diving in on purpose, and now I’m basically cannonballing into it with a lifeguard. Colgate said that she’s trying to shove the first ten years of what they learned as foals into mere weeks. It feels like I’m cramming for a college exam but- Wait, I’m just realizing this now? Colgate! What did you mean by teaching foals!? I thought you said you were a human at one point?
June 13th. No one showed up today, Colgate is starting to look really depressed. Amore road with her in the truck today, Colgate seemed to enjoy the company. We stopped in Thermopolis for the night, we could have gone farther but I thought the hot springs would help smooth everyone’s nerves. Colgate melted like butter once she got into the water. I truthfully don’t like this town. My mother often decided to drag me here just to sit in the hot spring for a half hour and then we would get back home in the dead of night. I miss mom, even if she loved to do things that baffled and annoyed me. I guess the saying is true, You don’t realize what you had until it’s gone...
If you’re wondering, I couldn’t get any answers from Colgate last night, and I felt it would be a bad idea to push today, I didn’t even complain when she called me mama around Starla. I did convince her to teach me how to walk on my hind legs like she does from time to time, She said it will be a long, difficult, and painful endeavor, but I said that I wanted to learn anyways.
On another note, I have started wearing shorts now… I don’t know why, but until I tried walking on my hind legs around Colgate I was weirdly fine with being naked. It’s like unless something gets pointed out to me, I didn’t even realize I was doing something that I should be embarrassed about or freak out over. What else have I been doing that I haven't noticed? Its kind of scary, like whatever changed me isn’t completely gone, or left something behind that is making me more accepting of things that should be freaking me out.
I will check
June 14-15th. I’m very tired, still having a tough time sleeping. We arrived in Cody, it’s a decent-sized town, it’s not immense but it received a lot of traffic because it’s right next door to Yellowstone park and has a very big museum. Colgate said a friend of hers would love to visit the museum but had more urgent matters to deal with. I mentioned that once things calmed down she could bring her friend to the museum, she told me “Yeah that sounds like a plan”, however, the frown on her face told me that won’t be possible. We spent a lot of time using a hand-cranked water pump and boiling water to refill the motorhome’s supply, we had been a bit too generous while showering.
In other news, I haven’t made anything blow up in levitation practice in two days! I have been practicing my control over objects by leading Starla around with teething rings and feathers. It’s adorable and hard to keep my focus with her antics, most of them are adorable, but one nearly gave me a heart attack. I had led her around and sent the feather up the wall, I thought she would just jump up and down trying to get the nearly destroyed teething ring, (baby pony bites are strong FYI), and suddenly her horn lit up and followed by her hooves and she started walking up the wall! I completely lost my focus watching her suddenly become spider filly, and the toy fell. My shock turned into panic when she lept off the wall and intercepted the toy mid-fall.
I was too far away to catch her but tried diving anyways. I hit the tile floor sliding thinking I was going watch her crash. To my surprise and relief, she stopped a foot away from the floor surrounded by a pale yellow aura. I was promptly chewed out by Colgate for leading Starla up the wall and losing focus while she floated Starla around the room causing her to squeal in joy. She quickly put her down, to Starla’s dismay when I joked that Starla might figure out how to levitate herself if she keeps doing that. Colgate’s face turned an adorable shade of red, and she murmured something about there doesn’t need to be another Pumpkin. She wouldn’t give me any details, other than lots of flour was wasted. Yes baking flour, not the plants.
I was using teething rings because Starla has started growing in the last of her baby teeth, from what Colgate explained. She has started biting everything and anything, even if she has been told not to. Even Amore isn’t safe from her teething either, poor girl. Starla is destroying most of the teething toys we find, only the ones you freeze seem to endure her baby chompers.
Starla also puked up her dinner tonight and refused to eat anything afterward. There are multiple possibilities for this, she could have developed allergies to something in the formula, or she could be getting sick, by the maker I hope not. The last reason I can think of is that formula meant for human babies isn’t compatible with ponies, and that Starla’s digestive system has had enough of trying to process it. I’ll try some of the other formulas in the morning and see if she can stomach them, if not I will try organic formulas if I can find any that have not expired yet.
June 20th. Sorry I haven’t talked in awhile, Starla ran off with my recorder and we just found it hidden in a pile of her stuffed animals. What have we missed? I got into a huge argument with Colgate, she hit me, I hit her, she’s sleeping in the truck or a hotel room if we find one… Not sharing a bed with her and Starla makes me anxious for some reason, it feels like something is missing. What did we fight about? It started with what we would have for dinner, then broke down into her keeping secrets and me refusing to accept being a mother.
Why won’t she drop the act and tell me?! Why do I have to be a mother?! Why can’t she tell me what’s going on?! It’s so obvious she’s hiding things and lying, she has this habit of scrunching her face up and looking away in an adorable manner that I just can’t get out of my head and argh! Why is it so hot in here?! The AC is running full blast! I just want to kn- no Starla I know you're hung-OUCH!
“Ouch! Starla, I said no biting. I- no, please stop crying, shh shh shh. I know you're hungry. Do You want some nummies in your tummy? Yes, you do! Oh, that’s so adorable and dog-like when you prance in place with your tongue hanging out. I think you have been picking up some habits from Amore, haven’t you? Here let me get a bottle from the fridge and…” I cringe. “I’ll let you try to get milk from there while the bottle warms up okay? There that’s a good girl. I don’t know if this weird sixth sense (which hasn’t gone away) that tells me when you’re hungry or hurt is a boon or curse, considering you do whatever you want, you little troublemaker. Hehe, at least it’s let me stop you from getting hurt on a few occasions. Sometimes it's almost like I can read your mind.” I feel uncomfortable thinking about… my teats. Maybe I should refer to them as pacifiers or something since I don’t produce milk? Or maybe stop thinking about them.
Starla has been puking back up all the baby formula we have given her lately, doesn’t matter if it’s top grade or organic she urps it back up. I got so desperate to get her something to eat, I grabbed a carton of animal nursing formula from a nearby farm supply store. Starla has taken a liking to it and hasn’t had any issues so far, but there isn’t very much. I don’t care how humiliating it would be, I wish there was a spell to induce lactation so Starla wouldn’t go hungry, I’m really starting to worry about how to keep her fed.
Maybe, I don’t remember.
The last couple of days I’ve also felt weird, moody, and my emotions change randomly. I want to ask Colgate what’s going on but… yeah. I’m also hot to the point I feel like I'm going to melt, but it's summertime and I now have a permanent fur coat. I swear to the maker I’m going to figure out how to make a personal air conditioner once I learn enough magic.
Maybe my mood is related to the lack of sleep I’ve been getting from these annoying dreams. I get them just about every night, they're like torture, also got worse when Colgate stopped sleeping with us. I’d rather not talk about them, sorry, they are just… way too grim.
When I don’t have those repeating nightmares I usually dream about running away from a black mist. If I’m lucky I’ll be in the crystal chamber where my favorite fantasy icons are playing games at a big intricate table, then suddenly I hear someone crying for help before my dream shatters and I wake up. I almost feel like the cries for help are coming from that spinning gem in the center of the room. Unfortunately, I’ve only had that dream three times, and I really want to find out who is crying for help.
Oh, I guess I should explain where we have gone and where we are currently at? Not like it matters much, every town is deserted. Currently, we are in Rock Springs Wyoming, We are going to spend a few days here and then head to Laramie, maybe some of the state university students were left behind. One can dream, right?
“Starla? What’s wrong? Come here, shh shh shh, it’s ok. Why are you suddenly so scared? There isn’t anything… What’s that this feeling? I-Ahh it hurts! Stop! Stop! Make it stop! AHHHHHH!” AHHHHHH!
Colgate opens the motorhome door in a hurry looking unamused and slightly worried. “Chris, what’s wrong? This better not be a prank or? Chris?” She rushes to her side and looks her over. “Chris, what’s wrong are you hurt?”
“Col-Colgate make it stop! Make it go away! Please!” She screams while Starla screams in her forelegs thrashing around wildly.
“Chris, I can’t make it stop unless you tell me what’s wrong. Do I need to- oh, ugh what’s this feeling? I feel like I’m going to throw up. I-I must get away! I have-” She tries to make a break for the door until she feels Chris’s leg wrap around hers.
“Col-Colgate please don’t, please help. Please...” Colgate falls atop Chris and Starla, whether to be protective or from the pain is unclear. Even after the fear-inducing and sickening presence is gone the ponies stay piled together on the kitchen floor of their motorhome, Amore eventually joined the pile of unconscious ponies.