//------------------------------// // Chapter Three: Research // Story: Mindset's Foalish Vacation // by LeyenEnyo //------------------------------// I awoke in a black void, nothingness surrounding me. “Where am I? What's going on?” Before I could look, I felt a burning pain inside me. I folded into myself as the intense feeling hit me. I looked around calling for help, but nopony showed. I looked behind me and to my surprise, a mirror stood. Looking into the reflection, I saw myself shrinking with each passing second. I was regressing faster than before. No longer did the pony in the reflection look like a young mare, but instead was a filly, at the age of eleven. Soon, she turned back to ten. Nine. Eight. I screamed out, begging for help. A clock appeared as the hands moved backwards. Seven. Six. I was in a panic. Confused as to what was happening. “No! How could this happen?! Please, won't somepony help me?!” Five. Four. I thought of stopping the clock with my magic, but at this age, my magic was no longer strong enough to do much of anything. I tried to reach out with my hooves. I was too small. Three. Two. My teeth began to disappear one by one, sinking back into my gums as my body began reverting into a foal. I could no longer speak words. My diaper fell off me, no longer fitting my new size. One. I had regressed to a newborn. I thought my punishment would end there. A strange wall surrounded me and encased me as some strange fluid filled it. As I held my breath, a strange, fleshy thing attached itself onto my stomach. I realized what was happening. I was still regressing past my own birth! I was trapped in an embryo! I had to get out!! I struggled to break the wall, hoping that it would stop this madness before it got worse. I charged it, ramming it in an attempt to burst it. It was no good. I tried to kick it, but as I swung, my legs began to disappear. I was being reduced by the cellular level. My body was on fire as my cells started to vanish. I thought I saw Princess Luna. I tried to scream to her, but my vocal cords were gone. I tried to see her, but my eyes ceased to exist. I tried to listen to her, but my ears evaporated. My body curled as it turned into an unidentifiable mass of flesh. I could only witness in agony as my body reverted back to a single cell floating in an ova. And just like that... I was gone. Nothing. The empty ova sat, as the pony that used to be died. ~*~ I woke up screaming, startling everypony that was around me. “Doctor Mindset, please, relax!” “What?! Where am I?! What happened?!” My eyes regained focus as I looked around. I was back in my bedroom in the castle. There were ponies maintaining my room. “You had passed out in the park. We had to bring you back to your bedroom,” Cocoa had explained. “Turned out the formula Glitter fed you had, err, expired.” She said that last word with nervousness. “Expired? You mean that foul-tasting stuff was due to it going bad?” I couldn't believe it. I was still alive. “Yes, and we have since instructed our cooks and staff to inspect all food for expiration dates daily and before serving.” My stomach still ached, but at least I didn't feel like I would spew at any moment. “How long was I out?” “About a day or so. We had to have your stomach pumped, or else things could have been a lot worse.” I looked and saw a small diapered filly filled with guilt at what she had done. “I believe Her Majesty has something she'd like to say.” Glitter approached me and scraped her hooves onto the floor, tears in her eyes. “I-I'm sorry. It's my fault you got sick. I was just trying to make it seem more real for fun sake, but I-I messed it up. Could you ever forgive me?” She gave me puppy-dog eyes that was hard to say 'no' to. I smiled. “Of course I forgive you. It was an accident. Just try to be more careful next time, okay?” I ruffled her hair gently. Slowly, her guilt was relieved and a smile formed on her face. Cocoa stepped in and lifted her. “Well, now that we've brought her back, let's give her some space. I'm sure she'd like to sleep without any of us bothering her.” The group of ponies began filing out of my room. “You may need to eat some food to regain your strength. We've left you some next to your bed. Don't worry, we made sure it was fresh.” Cocoa and Glitter were the last to leave as they closed the door. Robu was on the nightstand, looking at me with worry. “It's okay, Robu, I'll live. I think.” I leaned up and immediately regretted it. My head span like a merry-go-round. “Oh, wait. Robu, did I-” Before I could even finish, Robu displayed what he saw with his wings. The pony he showed me was in her teens, roughly sixteen to seventeen. “So I did regress.” I laid my head back on my pillow. I felt weak, but that could have been due to my empty stomach. I looked to the food they left me and immediately took a bite. The sweet taste of the apple was so good, I couldn't care less if it was making me regress. After eating the food they left me, a felt a little stronger. I thought about sleeping, but something in me was too scared to try it again; not after that nightmare I had. I had to do something, though, as I couldn't stand doing nothing for very long. I checked my diaper, only to see that it was clean. “Cocoa or the other ponies must have been changing me.” I'd have been embarrassed by that fact if I hadn't been unconscious. I got up and decided to walk around the corridors. I watched the many ponies pass by me; adults, foals, and every age in between. I know what I saw can't just be some sort of elaborate prank. I know Princess Twilight did something similar to another pony, but that was just so she could get her to let go of some amulet. This is different. Looking out a window, I saw Cirrus and Nimbus, still foals like before, playing in some sandbox outside. Are they not aware of what's happened to them, or do they just not care? If it's the former, than how am I still capable of remembering my life? I continued until I reached the fountain. I don't understand. How can everypony just regress? Is it the food? It can't be, unless all food tastes like what I tasted. If that's the case, then what's the secret ingredient? What makes them so sweet? I tried to think as I looked into my reflection. After a second or two, it dawned on me. Memories of previous conversations began flooding in my head. “They have very clean, fresh tasting water that, no doubt, many con-artists would take and use for their own purposes, and the water there is practically the kingdom's biggest attraction.” “Oh, this water is very special. It's the cleanest and purest of water there is, and it has a sweet taste to it.” “Well, while we didn't know it at the time, the duo were using their spot in the marketplace to dig into the stream and collect the water in jars and bottles. They planned on taking the water and selling it to other cities and kingdoms, claiming it as 'Miracle Water.'” Staring into the water, it was then I had a revelation. The water! Of course, it's the water! Why else would it be so important to them?! Knowing this, I went back to the library. ~*~ Using a spell that Princess Twilight taught me, I looked for books that contained the following as I spoke them: “Water, fountain, Fountonia, regression, foal.” Immediately, the books containing these words started to light up. The more the books matched the search, the brighter they got. Many were sadly dull, meaning I wouldn't find my answers there. “Come on, there has to be something here that can help me.” It took a while, but I managed to find something. Thing was, it was hidden behind a bookcase that required me to pull some of the books off just to see inside. “Huh? How do I get to it?” Pulling more books off the shelf, one didn't budge. “Oh, is this-” Click! “Yes!” The book was a switch as the bookcase moved, opening a path to the glowing book. Stepping in, I felt like I was Daring Do entering a tomb that had been sealed away for generations, and that I wasn't meant to be in here. Still, I needed my answers to this mystery. I needed to know if I, if anypony, would die from this regression. Inspecting for traps, I was relieved to see that it was clear. I pulled the book off the table it was placed on and looked at the cover. It was without a title and looked like a journal of sorts. Opening it up, I read the name of its owner. “Doctor Atavism Reversion.” I recognized the name almost instantly. “Wait, could it be that Doctor Reversion?” Taking the book, I left and returned to my room without being seen. Robu looked at me curiously, asking me what was up. “I found this book in the library hidden in a secret chamber. It was written by Doctor Atavism Reversion, a well-known scientist who came up with Regression Therapy. He was famous for his techniques on the subject. He disappeared sometime after, saying he wanted to find other methods for his research.” Robu looked to me with worry. “I know, it seems like a coincidence to find one of his journals here, and makes me worry about his fate. I think they were trying to hide it, meaning it must be important.” Sitting down at the desk, I pulled out my reading glasses to put them on, only to go cross-eyed. “Whoa, what the-!” After some inspection, I realized that my eyes had been corrected. Sort of. More like they reversed to a point where I didn't need glasses to read. “Whoa, that's weird. Cool, but weird.” Putting my now useless glasses away, I began to read. March 12th My journey has led me to the Kingdom of Fountonia, an uncan place, considering the inhabitants. Many are not aware of this kingdom, but looking at it now, I see that it has potential for my research. I'll try to find out more about this place and interview Her Majesty. March 13th My questions have sadly been left unanswered by the current sovereign as she seems too young to know anything. However, I believe she might be hiding something. In fact, I believe she might be older than she appears to be, though I cannot be certain. The way she speaks is an odd mix of foalish lisping, yet she speaks words most foals would have trouble speaking, let alone use properly in sentences. I have asked the maids and other members of court, yet they do not provide any answers. I must find out about this kingdom's secret. Princess Glitter Star has invited me for dinner, but I did not wish to impose. I wasn't hungry anyways, being more invested in my research. “Princess Glitter Star?! But Doctor Reversion was in his prime nearly two-hundred years ago! That means Glitter is really almost two-hundred years old. Maybe even older! Yet, she still looks like she's two. She must be using the water to keep herself young.” Robu responded by fluttering in place and looked confused. “I don't know why she'd want to be a foal. I mean, it would make more sense to just be a young mare, but to regress to the point of needing diapers again? I don't see the benefit.” I continued to read. March 14th I have determined the cause to be in the water. I witnessed a pony drink a small gulp from the fountain and near instantly they started to shrink. However, as I asked them about it, they seemed to have not noticed. They don't even seem to recall being their previous age, claiming they were only thirsty and needed a drink. I'm curious to see more of what this water has to offer. I don't know how they found me, but the mail courier has once again plagued me with letters from those 'leeches' back home. They keep harassing me about my next big breakthrough. I must remember to send them a special gift of- “Whoa! Not reading that part.” I blushed at the profanity of his words. “I didn't think the good doctor had such 'colorful' vocabulary.” Before I could continue, a knock on my door startled me to close the journal. After hiding it in my saddlebag, I answered, “It's open.” Cocoa walked through the door. “Good to see you're up and moving. I just came to check up on you.” She looked at the tray that once held my food. “I'll just take this to the kitchen. You're finished, yes?” I simply nodded as she took the tray. “I've been meaning to ask when your next session with Glitter will be?” “Oh, err, it'll be soon. I just want to take a few days to recover.” “I see.” She seemed disappointed. “I was hoping to have this matter resolved before the festival.” “Huh? Oh right, 'That Day'.” I muttered under my breath. “That's still about a week away, isn't it? I'll try to schedule some sessions, but she'll need to take it seriously.” “You know she won't hold still.” She raised her eyebrow. “I'll still play with her, but I won't be as active, and don't expect me to play the 'baby' again after what happened. Accident or not, I'd rather not be reminded of that experience.” I winced at the thought. “I see. I'll let her know. Would you like some dessert?” “No, thank you.” Every inch of my mind screamed in agony at skipping dessert, but I didn't want to risk it. “Very well.” She smiled and left. “Yeah, I'll just avoid food for now. Don't want to get any younger,” I muttered under my breath, my words dripping with suspicion. If I find out you regressed Doctor Reversion to oblivion, I'm so out of here. I pulled the journal out once again and read from where I left off. March 15th I managed to catch a few rats that had been roaming the castle. Still alive and scared, I nurtured them to trust me enough to not be afraid, though they still do not know what awaits them. I plan to use them to test the water and see the results. The princess surprised me with a question I didn't expect. Her Majesty graced me with her presence as I was conducting my research. She pestered me with questions that, for the most part, I answered simply. However, one question was one I never had been asked before by my colleagues or members of the scientific community: 'Did I like being a scientist?' I was about to answer her with a 'Yes,' but the more I thought about it, the more I questioned that train of thought. Before I could answer, however, one of her attendants had taken her, claiming she had some 'personal business' to take care of. I shall begin my research tomorrow. It may be some time before I write in this journal again. The next page just had some diagrams and scribbles, no doubt from his experiments. March 24th I have given a healthy dose of water to the rats. I've left one with ordinary water, so that it will remain my controlled subject. The others are my variable subjects. Any changes to them will be recorded and compared to the controlled subject. Already, I have seen changes as the rats appear to be younger. Seems that drinking certain amounts will change one down to a certain age. The greater the volume, the younger one becomes. I'm uncertain as to how much would be needed for a full-grown pony, but the principal should still be the same. Yet, as I look at the citizens of this kingdom, something seems off with that theory. I've noticed so little few have drank from the water, yet as the days went by, the ponies continue to regress. Is there another fountain I'm unaware of, or is this water freely available for all? I must keep a closer eye on them. I've barely slept. Her Majesty's question continues to plague my mind. I have not yet found an answer to this. I have tried to push it aside, yet the more I push, the stronger it returns. Perhaps I should evaluate my life in the near future. “That's odd. I don't recall hearing or reading of the doctor's history before his discovery. I only know about him during and after. No book ever mentions what his foalhood was like.” Robu looked intrigued at this fact. “Dr. Mindset?” I quickly placed a bookmark in the journal and closed it, hiding it once again. “Yes, come in.” “Um, I was wondering if you'd like to play right now?” Glitter asked, looking like she wanted some attention. “Right now?” I looked at the time, and noted that it was evening. “Well, I guess I could play a little bit. But, I'm not drinking anymore formula, okay? I know you didn't mean it, but I'd rather not risk it again.” She giggled and said, “Yes, I know. Besides, I was thinking of something else we could do.” She had a bag with a foalish-looking medical cross on it, no doubt filled with toy versions of medical tools. “Wanna play 'Doctor'?” I chuckled. “Well, I'm not an M.D., but I am still a doctor. I guess I can temporarily change my career, though.” “Oh, I didn't mean you being the doctor.” “Oh.” I felt a little sad, but knew this was all pretend, anyways, so I just shrugged it off. “I kinda wanted to play when I saw our doctor take care of you when you were... Uh, never mind. I just felt like playing it today.” Nice recovery, poof pants. I wanted to avoid being reminded of that, but I figured, “Why not?” At least I'd get to bond with my client. I went through a series of tests by the 'doctor' and acted like a sick patient for her. She went through the whole process in a manner that, to my surprise, was fairly accurate to a real doctor. Granted, the toys were not giving real results, but she handled herself professionally. “Okay, looks like you have a bad case of the Grumps.” “The Grumps?” “Yep, it's a condition one gets when being a grown-up.” Okay, mostly professional. “Hey, I'm not that old!” I scolded. However, she simply laughed like it was a joke, and I did join her. “Luckily, we have a special cure.” She pulled out a sippy cup that had a clear liquid in it. “One small sip of this should help make you feel better.” I looked at it with trepidation. She immediately added in a whisper, “Don't worry, it's just water this time.” That didn't really change anything for me. Now knowing that the water was the cause, I feared taking anymore of the liquid. I was about to refuse, but her face... Ugh, I can't beat cute. “I only need a sip?” “Yep, just a sip.” She watched anxiously. I was the same. My mind didn't want to be involved in this, but my heart was telling me to just do it. Even Robu was unsure of whether I'd do it or not. Finally, I gave in and put the little sippy cup's opening in my mouth. The water began to flood inside as my tongue was submerged. I only had it in there for a second before I pulled out the cup and set it down next to her. The water was cool and had that slight sweet taste I was starting to be familiar with. After taking a breath, I swallowed the fluid. “Yay! You should be better in no time.” She looked so cheerful. “Great, thank you, doctor,” I said with slight sarcasm. However, after a brief moment, she seemed confused about something. “Huh? That's strange.” “What is?” “Oh, uh, nothing!” She seemed to panic for a bit. I took a moment to look in the mirror when she wasn't looking, but nothing seemed different. I think I knew what was wrong. What she expected didn't happen. “Oh, look at the time, I got to get ready for bed.” She scrambled to gather her toys and put them in the bag. “Wait, hold on, princess.” She paused for a moment. “I just wanted to say, it was fun playing with you. You actually did really well as a doctor.” She was surprised by this. “Oh, thank you. I was just... You know, playing.” “Perhaps, but you seemed more professional than one would expect. A passion of yours?” I was genuinely curious. “Huh? Oh, well, maybe. I mean, if I wasn't a princess already, I'd try to be a doctor.” “Oh, and who's to say you can't be both? A princess can still be a doctor, if they know how.” “They can?” She tilted her head. “Of course. True, a princess would still have princess duties, and would probably be more busy than most doctors, but learning how to care for other ponies in such ways isn't limited to only them. You can still use the skills and abilities that one gets from training, so long as you're licensed for it.” “I didn't know that. Huh.” She seemed really interested in that idea. However, she soon returned to gathering her things. “I really do need to go. Thank you for playing with me, and thank you for that idea.” If it weren't for her age and lisp, I'd have mistaken her for an adult, the way she was behaving. Then again, if what Doctor Reversion wrote was true, that may still be a possibility. As the door was about to close, she whispered, “See you tomorrow.” “Yep. I'll see you next session.” I considered this our therapy session for the day. When she was out of earshot, I quickly looked in the mirror again. “I don't get it. Why didn't I change?” The fact that it surprised Glitter as well shows that this wasn't supposed to happen. “His journal said it's volume-based. The more you drink, the more you regress.” Thinking on it more, I did notice something odd about everything that's happened so far. I regressed far more quickly and lost more years on the first night, yet as the days went by, it started slowing down to a crawl. Why was it different now than it was on the first night? I returned to my desk and started where I left off on the journal. “It seems I might need to do my own testing compared to his notes.” ~*~ I was once again in that same dream. However, there was one difference: Cocoa and Glitter were watching. They were laughing maliciously. I woke up in the morning soaked in sweat, (among other things that my diaper thankfully caught.) Entering the bathroom, I saw myself in the mirror. I sighed, noting I was a year younger than before. After taking a bath, I returned to see Cocoa had entered my room. I screamed in surprise. “Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I was just coming in to check up on you. You look well.” “Oh, thank you.” I felt like I hadn't slept at all. “I wanted to thank you for spending some time with Glitter. She told me how you played with her last night.” “Oh, it was no trouble. She actually did a very decent job as a doctor. Perhaps she could take up a second career as a professional.” Cocoa laughed pleasantly. “Maybe she could. But, she still has a long way to go before then.” “Right. First things first, she needs to begin training.” “Potty training?” “Uh, well, maybe, but I meant training to be a doctor. She's good, but she still needs to pass the exams first. It's illegal to practice medicine without a license,” I corrected her. “Oh, of course. How silly of me.” She blushed for thinking such a thing. “So, any plans for today?” “Oh, I just plan on doing a little shopping.” ~*~ I spent a day finding some testing supplies, though the best I could find was a Junior Scientist's First Chemistry set. A little bare-bones, but with some additions, it could still do the job. “Little one wanting to play Chemist?” the shopkeeper asked. To my surprise, it was the red and yellow unicorn I saw in the castle. “Huh? Oh, yes, she does. Figured I'd play with her and teach her something in the process. 'Circus Rose', right?” She nodded in agreement. “What are you doing here? I thought you were one of Glitter's attendants.” I was nervous, and it didn't help that I peed right at that moment. “Oh, I am, but I'm off the clock right now, which means I can help my little one with his shop.” Oh, that's right, the foals run the shops here. “So, your little one runs this shop? That's cool. I'm just here to buy some chemistry supplies.” “Yes, my little biochemist here loves it, but when we're not maintaining the shop, we go to the forest to study the plants. He's such a curious one.” I looked at her foal, who was a brown colt with a leaf-green mane. “Aw, what a cutie. What's his name?” “It's Quick Beam.” “Nice to meet you, Quick Beam.” The little colt smiled and wiggled his hoof. I didn't know why, but something about him seemed familiar, but I couldn't figure out what. “So, how much for it?” “That will be 3 fountains.” “Uh, huh?” I was confused. “Oh, that's right, you're from another country. Just give me 6 bits. That should be the equivalent.” I was still confused, but I did pay her the amount and went on my way. I had a small lab at the ready for my experiments. Following the same formulas and diagrams I read in the journal, I carefully placed a sample of water I had taken from the fountain when nopony was looking into a petri dish. Placing it under a makeshift microscope, I examined the water. “Well, it correlates with his diagrams, but I don't understand how I'm the odd one out.” Taking the dish out, I started to test other aspects of it. Poorly, I might add. Sadly, Chemistry was not my strong suit, and the lack of better supplies wasn't helping. In the end, my research was inconclusive. That, and I looked like Tinker after one of his machinery test runs, covered in soot. “Ugh, this isn't working. The only way to truly figure this out is if I actually drink this stuff, and just monitor it, and that's too risky, as is.” I groaned and lifted the journal. “Maybe I just need more clues.” March 26th Things appear to be the same with my research. Nothing else to remark for now. After much thought, I think I have an answer for her. I remember my youth, at first, was full of curiosity and enjoyment. I would visit the forest often and explore the nature, seeing the wildlife, and taking in the crisp air. This sadly came to an end around my 6th birthday, when my parents decided to enroll me to school. Do not be mistaken, I enjoyed being in school, socializing and interacting with my fellow peers. However, as time passed, expectations and talk of career options came along. Now, being the young colt that I was, I was simply naive about my career path, as one would expect. My flank bearing no mark, I was open to learn about myself and my skills. Or, so I thought. My parents had other ideas. “That sounds ominous. And the entry ends there.” I didn't think 'cliffhangers' were a thing back then. March 29th I made a fascinating discovery! While my original theory is sound, it turns out there's another, unforeseen factor I learned by watching a mother and her foal. As I walked around the park, the mother simply had her young colt, about the age of four, being put in a nappy after he had a slight accident. “Nappy? Oh, that's right, Doctor Reversion was a Shetland. They call diapers 'nappies' over there,” I explained before continuing. Now, one would suspect the colt to nicker and reject such a thing, yet he seemed a tad dazed and complied to his mother. Before I knew it, the lad shrunk before my eyes as her mother wrapped the thick garment around his waist, pinning it to his new age of one or two. Then, the lad began to act like the baby he was, without any regard for what happened. At first, I suspected the water and continued to observe, but the lad regressed once again a few hours later, without consuming the water. His mother had noticed he had soiled himself and immediately changed him. In doing so, the foal regressed between newborn to six months. This explains my inconsistencies! The regression is not only about the water, but the behavior as well. If one were to be treated more and more like a foal, the more they'll regress. I still believe the water, at the very least, begins the process, but once ingested, (likely a small dose,) all one needs is to be motivated to regress and possibly even accept the regression. Physical and mental triggers. How did I not see it before? “Physical and mental triggers?” I suddenly understood why they wanted me to do those foalish activities. They knew it would trigger a reaction... Or so they thought. I was still confused as to why I hadn't been regressing as quickly as the others, but I just assumed I got lucky. Still, this didn't help ease my current fear, and after a day spent on experiments, I was getting too tired to continue. “Mmm, maybe I should just sleep for now.” “Doctor Mindset?” My sleep was interrupted by a familiar voice. I hid the journal and said, “It's open.” In comes Glitter, looking a little concerned. “Um, do you have time? I kinda need to talk about something.” I hadn't seen Glitter that serious before. “Sure. Please, sit down.” I offered her a couch cushion to sit on. “So, what's on your mind?” She seemed hesitant before she simply said, “Well, um, do you have a secret?” “S-secret?!” I could have sworn my bladder wasn't that easily excitable. “Yeah, you know, just like a little secret about a person, or an object. Just in general.” I sighed. “Well, of course. Everypony has one secret or another.” “Well, I-er, I mean a friend of mine has this one secret, that they've kept from everypony, and she's scared of what would happen if it got out.” “I see. So, because of this, she's too scared to do anything else?” She nodded. “Well, I guess one thing she could do is tell one pony and see how they'd react.” She flinched at the idea. “Another idea would be to find a way to not let it distract her from her work. I don't know how old she is, but I'm guessing she still wears diapers.” I teased, knowing full well who she was talking about. “Who doesn't around here?” She smiled back. “Good point. So, there's that. Lastly, there's telling everypony the truth, but maybe, doing so gently.” She didn't seem to like that idea. “Well, I can't think of any other way to break such news.” She groaned. “Hey, I get it, secrets can stink. They can be weighing, and sometimes not even worth it.” “If she does tell somepony, and they hate her, what should she do?” “Well, that's hard to say. I don't know how severe the secret is.” I had an inkling of what it was, but I didn't want her to suspect I knew. “I suppose she could try to convince them to forgive her, but otherwise, she should just learn from her mistake and move on. After all, dwelling on it will only be poison to her psyche.” “M-move on?” “Yeah. I don't know how or what that would entail, but regardless of what she does, she mustn't let the guilt of it turn her into a cold pony.” She seemed confused. “To put it more simply, if she doesn't let go, she'll only hurt herself and push away anypony that would come close to her. And that, Princess, would be a fate worse than anything you could imagine.” “A... Fate worse than any...” She seemed a bit scared. “But don't worry. I'm sure she'll be fine. Right, Glitter?” I smiled to her. She paused, but agreed. “It's getting late. I probably should go.” “Okay. Tell your friend I wish them the best.” As she left, my smile slowly turned into a frown. “I see. So Cocoa was right, she is carrying a lot weight on her back.” Robu looked to me with curiosity. “She's so afraid of her secret getting out that she's practically in tears. I can feel it in her mind and heart.” I laid back on my bed, staring at the ceiling. “She's in pain.” I closed my eyes and went to bed. ~*~ I had that same recurring dream, only this time, it was different yet again. I was regressing, but I smiled as I looked to Glitter, who smiled back. Amazingly, I didn't regress past birth, but stayed a foal. The two of us then played together as Cocoa looked after us with a smile. Dreams can be weird. My mother would know about that. She could interpret dreams and helped ponies figure them out. Well, before Princess Luna came along, that is. She wasn't as powerful as the Princess, and couldn't actually enter dreams, being an earth pony, but she could make accurate explanations unlike any other. I'd imagine she'd have no problem interpreting mine. Well, that was in the past. What mattered now was the present, and I woke to see Cocoa in my room. “Huh? Hey, what are you doing in here?” “Oh, you're awake. I just came in to check up on you. You also needed a change, so I figured I'd do it for you while you slept.” As embarrassed as I was about that, I was also impressed she managed to do it without waking me. “Well, anyways, Glitter and I wondered if maybe you'd like to join us to a visit to the park after breakfast?” “Actually, I have some work I need to do.” I didn't want her knowing about the journal, and I still needed to finish reading it. “Oh, I see. I'll let her know.” She frowned, almost out of disappointment. Guilt. I know I couldn't trust them, but something about how they made me feel guilty just screams agony into my head. “Wait, wait, wait.” She stopped before she closed the door. “I suppose I should relax a little. I technically am on vacation. I'll be there.” “Great! I'll inform her, then.” She smiled and closed the door. Robu listened to our conversation and asked how I'd pull this off. “Look, I don't entirely know how, but based on what I learned from the good doctor, so long as I don't think about it or be reminded of being a foal, I should be fine.” Robu was still unsure. “Look, if you're worried, then come with us.” He agreed and we both headed out to the dining hall. “Yay! You're coming, you're coming!” Glitter bounced as we approached them. “I thought that maybe you were mad at me or something.” “I just, um, had a lot on my mind. As I'm sure you're aware, I'm a bit of a workaholic.” She giggled. “Yeah, we noticed. Is Robu coming with us?” “I figured he could use some fresh air. Right, Robu?” Robu looked a bit confused until I winked at him. He then proceeded to nod. “Well, looks like today's going to be an interesting one,” Cocoa commented. ~*~ The park today was busier than last time. The foals screamed in joy as they played in the playground. “Cocoa, hurry up, please? I wanna play!” Glitter wiggled in her stroller as she watched them run around. “My, my, somepony is being impatient,” she teased as I giggled. She lifted her out and patted her diapered flank. “Okay, go play.” “Yay!” She quickly took off and went for the slide. “Well, I suppose I should just find someplace comfy and open up a good book.” I looked into my saddlebag, shifting through my spare diapers and supplies, finding my books. “Ah, here we are.” “Actually, I need to use the little filly's room. Could you please keep an eye on Glitter for me?” “Huh? Oh, of course. I can do that.” As she walked away, I pulled out the journal to read another entry. April 2nd I remember more now. My age seems to be catching up with me, as it took a while to remember my distant past. My parents had high expectations for me. Both were well known in the scientific community, and they wished for me to continue that trend. However, I didn't- “What'cha reading?” I gave a startled scream as I looked over the journal to find a curious Glitter looking at me. “Oh, it's, um, nothing. Just a silly old book of mine.” I quickly hid it back into my saddlebag before she would get a good look at it. Can't let her find out. “Ooh, what's this?” “Huh? Hey!” She stuck her head into my bag shifting my supplies and books around until she pulled out a colorful book. “Cuddle Bear!” she proclaimed. I gave a sigh of relief. “You like Cuddle Bear, huh?” “Like him? I love him! He's my favorite!” She was oozing with glee as her eyes grew wide and shiny. “I love reading his stories.” This was not surprising to me, but I felt strange. I didn't consider the possibility of me having some common ground with a pony who was trying to reverse me into the youthful age of rattles and pacifiers. “Yeah, he's actually my favorite, too.” She gasped. “You too?!” I smiled. “Yes. I grew up with Cuddle Bear. Many may think he's only for foals, but reading his books many times myself, I can easily say he's for all ages. His carefree and whimsical personality is a breath of fresh air in a dreary world like ours.” “Ugh, I hate when ponies say he's only for babies! He's got more personality and charm than most characters nowadays have! He's so much more dynamic than ponies give him credit for!” “My, by the way you're acting, it's as if you've known him longer than I have.” I gave a devilish smile and raised a brow. “Huh? Oh, uh, I mean, that's just what I think, anyways.” She stumbled with her words, trying to hide her true age. Granted, I already knew she was older than she looked, but seeing her panic trying to continue the charade was humorous. I chuckled and said, “Relax, I get it. I agree, he's definitely for all ages. I even remember wearing Cuddle Bear clothes growing up. Shirts, pants, socks, even diapers.” “Really? They had Cuddle Bear diapers?!” She was actually shocked by this. “Had? They still have it. My brother made the designs. Well, technically, they already had the designs, but he suggested making them for older ponies who wanted more than just bland white diapers that looked like they were made for senior citizens. I remember wearing them almost every day to school.” “Oh my goodness, that's so cute! Now, I want to wear them!” She bounced haphazardly as her short tail wagged furiously with joy. “What brand are they?” “Silly Filly. My brother works there as one of the executives. He worked from the bottom to get there; building their inventions and machines, even creating different designs for many ponies with different tastes. Best part is, he did it all mostly for me. He got a discount for their diapers, which helped me out, since we didn't have to pay so much for them, especially when I got older and needed bigger diapers.” “Your brother must be the coolest! Also, are diapers really that expensive in Equestria?” “Oh, unbelievably so. A pack of twelve diapers costs about thirty to forty Bits each. It's ridiculous.” “What?! For only one package?! That's too much! Diapers here only cost five Fountains per pack!” “Fountains?” I tilted my head in confusion. I heard of that earlier, but wasn't sure what they meant. “That's the name of our coins. I think they cost about the same as Bits... Or was it double? It was something like that.” “Ah. Well, it's also about location. Here, they'd cost less because, well, look around. All these foals can't be running around without them, including yourself. They'd easily make bank off of that, so lowering the price wouldn't be too much of a hassle.” “I still think that's too much. Maybe I should ask your princess to lower them for you.” She was truly considering that. “Thank you, but you don't have to do that. It's not like you live in Equestria.” “Nuh uh, I'm doing it for all the foals in your country. They need those diapers. Plus, Cuddle Bear is just too cute to say 'no' to.” And we once again came back full circle. I didn't think talking about economics and politics with a baby would be something I'd be doing during vacation, but I guess this isn't your typical vacation. “So, uh, could you maybe read it to me?” “Huh? Oh, the book, right.” I forgot where we began for a moment and opened it to the first page, as I began to read. Some time passed as Cocoa returned from her 'trip'. “Sorry for keeping you. Apparently, there was a long line for the restrooms. A lot of little ones that needed to go, or needed a diaper change. Some of them even needing to go only to end up needing a change instead a moment later.” She stopped as she noticed Glitter was entranced by the story as I continued to read. She giggled as Cuddle Bear used a balloon he got from his friend Agnus, an overly cautious baby lamb who often went on all sorts of silly and pleasant adventures with Cuddle Bear. “Cuddle Bear, the balloon tied to his belly, floated gently up the honey tree, all dressed like a buzzing bee. Agnus watched with awe as he saw his friend get closer and closer to the holes in the tree, the bees simply working hard as usual. Cuddle Bear started to make buzzing noises as to fool them, but some of them were not so sure about him as they watched carefully.” “I hope I'm not interrupting anything.” I paused and said, “Oh, Ms. Cocoa. Sorry, Glitter wanted me to read to her. It's a very good book.” “Oh, I know. I've read it to her countless times.” She examined the book. “Strange, I don't see any stickers on it from the library.” “Oh, that's because this is mine. I brought it with me from Equestria.” “Oh? I didn't know ponies your age still read Cuddle Bear.” “Sadly, most don't. I'm just a pony who grew up on it and enjoyed it enough to have my own copies of the whole Cuddle Bear series.” “Cocoa, Cocoa, did you know they make Cuddle Bear diapers! I didn't!” Glitter interrupted. “Oh, really?” She looked to me curiously. “It's true. I've worn them myself.” “Can we go to Equestria to get some, please? Or better yet, can we have them start selling here? Please, please, please!!!” She was begging to her. “I don't know if we could. We're probably out of their jurisdiction, if they haven't sold any here already. Besides, I don't know if they accept Fountains.” “But, but, but-” “I can help with that.” I chimed in. “I know some ponies who could probably convince the big wigs at Silly Filly to open their doors and export them here.” “You'd do that for us?!” “Sure. After all, it's been made pretty clear you need them.” She was practically tearing the threads off of Cocoa's shirt sleeve. “I'll see what I can do for you.” “Thank you, thank you, thank you!!” She hugged me tightly. Again, it felt weird, knowing I was helping the ponies that were doing this to me, but they just seemed so innocent about it. It made me wonder if being a baby again would've been such a bad thing. I already wear diapers 24/7, so that wouldn't have been an issue, and other than playing with baby toys that may have bored me, interacting with other foals and playing with them probably wouldn't have been all that bad, if my session with 'Doctor Glitter' was anything to go by. Maybe... Maybe I should embrace this. I suddenly felt a tug on my hair as Robu returned me from my thoughts. He looked at me with worry, no doubt because of why. “What's wrong with Robu?” Cocoa asked. “I, uh, think he's tired. I should probably get him back to his flower charger before his battery runs out.” Robu landed on my horn as I lied. “Battery?” Cocoa and Glitter looked puzzled. “Yeah. He's a machine, a robotic butterfly. Did I not mention that?” “No, you didn't, sweetie.” Cocoa was amazed by this fact. “So, he's not a real butterfly?” Glitter said with disappointment. “Hey, now, who said he wasn't a real butterfly? He may be made of metal, but he's about as real as it gets! He still interacts with his own-Ow!” Another tug from Robu. “Okay, okay, I'm going. I'll see you back at the castle, and sorry about this.” The two looked to each other and seemed confused. ~*~ “Thanks, Robu. I was submitting to it.” I looked to the mirror and saw that I had lost another two years. My diaper started to slip off as I was too small for it, forcing me to hold it up. “Great, I can't go without one, and if I keep shrinking, I'm going to be wearing baby diapers.” Then of course, that ever constant fear of dying from being unborn lingered. “I need to find out if it's possible. Otherwise, I'm going to be in constant fear of being erased from existence.” Robu comforted me as I readjusted my diaper to be more fitting as best as I could. I walked to my desk before reading where I left off. April 2nd I remember more now. My age seems to be catching up with me, as it took a while to remember my distant past. My parents had high expectations for me. Both were well known in the scientific community, and they wished for me to continue that trend. However, I didn't wish to become like them. In fact, I had a desire to be something a little more discreet. More normal. I wished to be a ranger. I loved nature and the many beautiful sounds. To this day, they still bring me joy and tranquility. I tried to explain this to them, but they refused to listen. Of course, things became more complicated when I tried to compromise and combine the two in some fashion. To my surprise, it earned me my cutie mark, but my parents saw it as proof I was a scientist like them. Since then, I've always hated this thing. The fact it adorns my flanks is an insult to me, its true meaning forever stained with horrible memories. They have begun to ask again. Wondering when my next contribution will be. Yet another reminder of my horrid past. Perhaps this is why I did not remember? I wanted to forget. “I had no idea he was that miserable.” I lamented for the poor pony, but continued. April 3rd Something unexpected happened. I awoke to find that my rats had drank more than I expected and had regressed to newborns. However, the amount should have regressed them further than that. I gave another that had yet to regress the amount the others drank and found that the regression had only gone to that of a newborn as well. It's seems that one can drink as much of the water as they want and only regress to the point of birth. One cannot regress beyond it. Reading that, I gave a sigh of relief. “Good... I can sleep peacefully once more.” The fear dissipated from my dreams and I could rest easy, knowing that no matter what, I would still be alive. The next few lines surprise me even more. I have begun to experiment with the water's makeup. Perhaps one could cure the regressive tendencies of it and instead grow a pony back to their original age. I will write the formula should I find it. “A cure?! You mean a way to grow back?!” I eagerly read the next entry. April 20th I've done it! I've found the cure and have written the formula. It's- “Huh?” The entry ended there. “Hey, what gives?” Looking closer, I noticed a page missing. “What? Of course it would be missing.” I cursed my luck but could breathe easily. “Okay, so, there's not only no way of me dying, but there's also a way to change me back. I'll take it, even if it's not written here.” Looking at the journal, I found I was at the last page. The rest were left blank. “This is his last entry.” April 23rd I have found my escape. My escape from my current life. The Princess had given me a choice. To leave and not take this journal with me, or stay and join them. She was surprised by my answer. Perhaps it was the constant, pestering mail from those fools, or the memory of my foalhood returning to me, but either way, I accepted to join. To regress. She was not expecting such an enthusiastic response from me, but was more than happy for my decision. As I write, they have begun preparing my new life; my new home. I requested my new nursery to have a nature theme, hoping to revive my interest of it, as well as a foster mother who would encourage my interest, not bar me from it. I had never married, nor had any children of my own, so there was nothing important to leave behind, and the less I say about those jackals, the better. I have no reason to return, and while I may be missed by others, I will not miss them. From this point, this will be the last any have ever heard from Doctor Atavism Reversion. I write this last message to any who find it. Please do not mourn for me, for I have been given a second chance. Do not search for me, nor bring me back. I will finally be at peace. I now have an answer to her question. “He... He regressed himself. Willingly.” I was shocked by all this, but respected it after hearing about his life. “I guess he wanted to disappear. To think, all this time, he hated his life, and then he meets Glitter and finds a way to escape it.” It made me feel sympathy and admiration for them. It also made me think of how I just ditched them because I was too scared of what would happen to me. Robu looked to me with worry. “Robu? I think we should just let this happen. I don't know why they did this to me, but if the doctor was right, then I'm not in any danger.” Robu looked at me as if I had gone insane. “Look, I know it sounds crazy, but I don't think they wish to harm me. I think they truly just want me to be happy. Besides, the fact that I still remember who I am means that I'm not regressing the same way as the others. I don't know how I still remember who I am, but I do know I'm me. All my experiences, my job, my life. I still remember it. That alone appears to be something special. So, for now, let's just enjoy ourselves.” Robu still looked unsure, but seemed to understand. “Besides, if things do happen to me, I can trust you to bail me out, right?” Robu saluted in response. ~*~ I returned to the park to find the two on a bench as Cocoa was in the middle of changing Glitter. “Hey, I'm back. Sorry about that, Robu can be quite convincing.” “It's quite alright, dear. I'm just about to finish up here.” She taped up a clean diaper on Glitter and set her down on the ground. “There, all done.” “Ah, much better! Thank you, Cocoa!” Glitter giggled as she wiggled in her fresh pair of pants. “Oh dear, Mindset. Your diaper...” “Huh?” I looked and noticed it was still my adult diaper, barely holding on and oddly fastened. “Oh, uh, I tried to make it fit, but it's too big.” “Perhaps you should wear a more fitting diaper, dear.” Cocoa giggled. “Not sure why you'd wear a diaper that didn't fit you.” Oh, right, they still think I'm regressing mentally, too. I quickly came up with a lie. “I just, you know, wanted to see how they felt. I am going to be wearing them someday, after all.” She giggled and said, “Well, that may be true, but perhaps you should wait until you're actually old enough to wear them. Don't want them falling off, after all.” “Yeah, wouldn't want to have an accident and not have your diaper catch it,” Glitter added. “Well, I don't mind doing a bit of shopping, but I don't really have any Fountains. All I have is Bits,” I explained. “Well, we'll just have to fix that. I'll take you to go find some diapers.” She put Glitter in her stroller and the three of us searched the marketplace. Luckily, finding diapers for a young teenager wasn't difficult, and while they weren't Silly Filly brand, they did look absorbent enough and had good designs of flowers on them. “Okay, all set. Now, I imagine you'd want to get into them, so I'll let you go and-” “Actually, Ms. Cocoa, I was kind of wondering if you could, um, help me?” I wasn't used to asking for help. Usually, I was pretty mature and capable of changing myself, even at a relatively young age. “Oh, why of course. Here, let's find a restroom.” We quickly came to one and I laid down my mat on the floor. “Okay, dear, whenever you're ready.” With a little hesitation, I laid my back onto the soft padding, my legs spread apart and ready. After that, it was pretty much the usual routine one would expect; wipes, powder and oil, and lastly the clean diaper. If anything was notable, it was that the diaper felt incredibly thick. I could easily tell I would have some difficulty walking, or rather waddling, when moving around. I blushed, but didn't feel too embarrassed by it. “So, now that you have a fitting diaper on, wanna finish reading our book together?” Glitter held my Cuddle Bear book, eyes wide with anticipation. I smiled and answered, “I would love to.”