//------------------------------// // Rumble you idiot!! // Story: Chaos: the Age of Spike // by Kaliann25 //------------------------------// Rumble you idiot!! Spike, Sweetie, Babs and Apple Bloom were having a pretty nice day, just hanging out at the park while they thought about a new prank; when suddenly Scootaloo at full speed right in front of them, trying to get rid of Rumble who was following here. “Oh come on! I’m sorry, I’m truly sorry; it wasn’t my intention to get into your life, but I was worried about our friendship as a team and…” “You know what Rumble? You’re an idiot and I don’t want to see you again!” So Scoots just sent a death-glare to him and turned into Dark to get away with her Sonic Dark Explosion. Rumble landed before his friends seemed both confused and angry and crossed hooves. “Bah! As you wish, that’s why I prefer to hang out with guys; if they get mad at you they hit you, you hit them and problem solved! Fillies stink!” Then he noticed his friends glaring at him, but he decided to justify himself. “Hey, don’t look at me like that, I’m the victim here you know? I was only trying to be a good friend but then she calls me an idiot out of nowhere and we ended up like this!” Spike and Sweetie sighed, in fact now that they looked carefully at Rumble, he had the expression that he didn’t know what was going on. And for Babs and Apple Bloom, they still seeing like deciding if believe him or not so at the end Babs asked: “Okay, why don’t you tell us what happened from the start?” Rumble groaned annoyed and after siting against a tree, he began to tell shrugging, seriously things were really confusing for him. “I wish I know what happened, okay? But you see, everything was fine, I was doing my things with my skateboard when she joined me with her scooter and asked me if I wanted to do some tricks with her at the hill. I accepted and offered to call you guys, but then she said it would be funnier if only the two of us go; and since lately we’ve been hanging out only the two of us I said okay” “And then?” Asked Babs very serious. “Then I realized: like I said lately we’ve been hanging out just the two of us like a lot; so I asked her why thinking that the four of you maybe had a fight and even offered to help her” Everypony made a synchronized face-hoof (and face-claw) understanding Scootaloo’s reaction. Spike even placed a condescending claw on his shoulder. “Rumble, with all respect, you’re an idiot!” But his fillyfriend just punched him softly in the head. “Look who’s talking, or don’t you remember the ‘Sweetie, I’ve noticed that lately you prefer to stay with me when we split up’. I really wanted to hit you that time” “Hey, it wasn’t that I didn’t realize about your feelings but because I wasn’t confident enough yet, not to mention I was still recovering from my ‘disillusion’ with your older sister” protested the Lord of Chaos. But Rumble only had a sweat-drop on his temple. “And I still don’t get it. Are you helping me or at least tell me what the hell is going on?” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Seriously dude, ye’re a first-class moron. Don’t ya’ have the slightest idea of why ya’ pissed off Scoots?” “I already told you, I don’t” “Okay, if you don’t get it sooner, you’ll make me starting to question your intelligence. Anyway, I have to leave, but at least try to make an effort Rumble. Please!” Said the filly walking back to the Crazy-door that connected Ponyville and Mane-Hattan. The white colt then crossed his hooves. “Okay fine! You know? I could use some real help, like from my pet bunny Demon. It’s a shame right now she’s sharing a den with Fluttershy’s bunny doing what bunnies do best” “Rumble shut up!” Protested the rest of the Team of Chaos. The Pegasus pouted angrily and flew to his home. His friends watched him leave and then looked to each other. “So what? Shall we help him?” Asked Sweetie Belle. “A’ don’t know, last time we tried to fix somepony’s love life we ended up messing up everything” reminded Apple Bloom. “But there’s a difference now, now we’re the bad guys and messing up things is our job” said Sweetie Belle. They all looked at Spike who nodded slowly. “I have a feeling I’m going to regret this, but okay! What do you suggest?” Asked the dragon. “Let’s repeat our adventure with Big Macintosh and Cheerilee but at a bigger scale and instead of a potion, we use our powers; and the solution will be obviously a little Harmony. “And with so much love in the air, certain idiot will finally understand. Besides it’s almost Hearts and Hooves day so it will be perfect!” approved Apple Bloom. Spike made a quick nod and snapped his fingers to spread the new wave of Chaos in order to create an epidemic of sudden love, but this time nothing happened. “Spike?” Asked Sweetie. “I don’t know what happened, let me try again” he said trying to activate his powers again, but nothing happened. “Oh come on! What’s going on?” And suddenly, before the kids appeared a human, or what it looked like a human but this one had two pairs of wings attached to his back and a floating halo over his head. “Stop it kid, Mister Boss just sent me to remind you that you only have three rules, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to follow them” “What? I’m breaking the rules?” Asked Spike in disbelief. “One rule: it’s forbidden to mess with free will. Forcing people to fall in love out of sudden is a clear violation to it. If you insist in doing this we have no choice but suspend you for three months without payment. You have been warned” “We were breaking the rules? But is not the first time we use mind control, like when we transformed Canterlot High in a Circus School” said Sweetie. “Mind control or hypnosis is more about deceive perception and have its limitations; completely different than actually force a feeling” explained the Archangel Gabriel. “Look, I understand you are kids and this was an accident, but as a minor deity Spike needs to be more careful” Spike lowered his head ashamed. “I’m sorry, please excuse us with Mister Boss, we promise we won’t do it again” “It’s okay. Anyway why were you trying to do this?” “You know, an especial prank for a couple of friends and also, Hearts and Hooves day is almost here” explained Sweetie. Gabriel made an understanding nod. “I get it, your equivalent to Valentine’s Day. Fair enough, but you don’t need to force any feelings. Why don’t you simply use what is already there with a little mind control? That’s not forbidden” “Thank you Mister Gabriel!” “You’re welcome. Just try to be more careful from now on and we’re good, okay?” And he disappeared. “So what now?” Asked Apple Bloom” Spike snapped his fingers this time actually releasing the black and purple Energy of Chaos all over Equestria. “Now we wait, I put a time effect on this prank so it won’t activate before Hearts and Hooves Day” “I just hope Rumble finally understands” said Apple Bloom. “I hope so as well” said Spike before heading home, but then he stopped. “Oh, and by the way, it’ll affect us as well; except for Rumble and Scoots of course, so you better prepare. See you!” The two fillies exchanged a look and giggled, at least they didn’t mind. The problem was that there were still four whole days before the hour of truth, and in the meantime the friends have no choice but have to bear with Rumble’s and Scoots’ fight; who didn’t talked among themselves and when they had to, they sent messages through one of their friends. It was kind of annoying but finally the day came. As always Scootaloo woke up early in the morning and sat to have breakfast with her parents, but something wasn’t quite right. His father have put a red tablecloth on the table along with a golden chandelier with red aromatic candles and the best service on the house. And her mother had made oatmeal with strawberries, chocolate homemade cupcakes and mocha instead of normal coffee. Okay, it was an especial breakfast for Hearts and Hooves day, Scootaloo could understand that, but what she couldn’t get is why on earth they were spoon-feeding each other. “How’s my food, oh my lovely and gallant husband, the reason this lovely home is sustained so well?” “Delicious as always my beautiful, beautiful wife; the light of my life, the reason why I always find a reason to keep going. Oh my love, knowing you put so much effort to give us the greatest of meals make me feel so guilty to have to spent half of my day helping other mares to get fit instead of stay home enjoying the company of the love of my life” “Oh my darling, when I feel like I’m melting when I hear you talking like that!” Scootaloo raised an eyebrow, what the hell was wrong with her parents? But before she said something, suddenly found herself in a tight embrace by both of her parents. “And how could we forget about our especial girl, the other light of my existence. My little one, my beloved little one, the greatest gift my lovely wife have gave me” “What you mean I gave her to you oh my beloved husband? She’s half yours, and if something have half of your genes there’s a fifty percent probability that will be perfect!” Scootaloo struggled to get free, this was too much to handle. “Hey, I have to eat!” Protested Scootaloo. “Oh, we’re so sorry my love, now please, feel free to taste what your mother did for us with so much love…” And practically force one of the cupcakes into her mouth along with a sip of mocha. Normally she would enjoy the meal, but the sappy atmosphere was already too sweet for her taste, she didn’t need to add more sugar; so she apologized as soon as she could: “Sorry mom, dad, but the Team have planned something especial and we have to meet at the park” “Please go on, have a nice day!” Said her mother. “And even if you and your friends call yourselves the bad guys, you’ll always be our biggest pride oh dear!” So Scootaloo escaped as fast as she could, in times like this she was glad she had the ability to mimic Ranbow’s speed. It was a lie that the Team of Chaos had something planned for the day but she would do anything to get rid of her parents in that state. “In a situation like this, I could even stand the dumbass of Rumble” “Hey!” Protested the other Pegasus landing aside her. Scootaloo glared at him. “Why did you came if you know I’m going to insult you” “Because I thought you were with the others. My mistake, now with your permission I’ll leave” And he went looking for the others, and after considering it for a bit, she joined Rumble. “Don’t think wrong, I’m still mad at you and I just want to find the others as well. But I’m not going to talk to you” “Fine for me” They went to Twilight Palace, but when they passed in front of the school, they found an unusual scene: Cheerilee had put a tablecloth in front of the school house along with two boiled eggs, a jar of sangria and some toast with basil butter. “Oh, nothing like having brunch in company with your beloved, don’t you think?” Asked the teacher. The schoolhouse of course didn’t answered but Cheerilee blushed as it did. “Oh, the temple of knowledge, you’re the most beautiful thing I ever seen and I’m so glad to have you in my life. How could I be so blind to my true feelings? Years of my life wasted working with you when all this time we could been together for real! Oh I love you school, I love you so much and nothing or nopony will take us apart!” The two foals looked at them with a sweat drop on their temples. But it got worse when the teacher poured part of the sangria in a glass and said: “A toast, for our new life together my love!” And at this point they better walked away. “Geez, when is between ponies, it’s sappy. But an inanimate object, is kind of stupid” said Rumble. “Stupid? I would say disturbing!” Said Scootaloo biting her lip. And they passed in front of Carousel Boutique, where a pony was standing in front of the window holding beautiful flowers, looking at the beauty wrapped in a marvelous green silk dress covered with sapphires and pearls; he stood there looking at his beloved and ran to Bon-Bon’s shop to get a box of chocolates and then returned to his watching spot, completely lost in his feelings. From inside Rarity felt the passionate and dreamy stare of that pony. She already knew him, he always stood in front of her window sighing deeply in love to then leaving. To be honest the fashionista felt sorry about him, because she already have an especial somepony; and for today somehow her feelings for her knight disguised as a selfish brat increased and couldn’t stop thinking about him. And she also had a date for this day with her white knight so she had to gently reject her young candidate. She left by the backdoor and walked to the guy, too distracted looking through the window to pay attention to her, so she gently touched him with a hoof. “Can I help you mister?” “She, she’s so beautiful and I want her” he said with a dreamy smile. “Oh, I know I can cause that effect on ponies but the thing is that I already have somepony dear” He turned to her. “Oh, you’re the owner. No, I wasn’t talking about you. Her!” He aiming a hoof to the window. “The dress?” “What? No, the model!” “The mannequin?” Asked Raity completely startled. The pony’s expression suddenly turned crazy, and after throwing away the flower and the box of chocolates; he threw a rock to the crystal breaking it into a million pieces and ran with her to his apartment leaving Rarity as confused as ever. “The mannequin?” Asked again the white unicorn. By his way he was gently holding the mannequin. “You’re nothing like the previous mares in my life who only cared about what I can give to them; no, you always waited for me behind your display every time I passed in front of the boutique. All this time you were the one I deserved, don’t think I didn’t listened to your cries asking me to free you! Well, now you’re free my dear and we’ll spend the rest of our lives together!” But going back to Rarity, she didn’t had the time to take care of the broken glass and the stolen mannequin since she still have to prepare the most romantic dinner ever made for the ponykind, all for her beloved Blue Blood, her gorgeous knight, her brave spy. And since Sweetie Belle was staying at Twilight’s that night, they’ll spend together the whole night. “Oh Blue Blood, I’m so glad I could meet your real self, I always knew you’ll be the one for me!” And of course the two foals watched from the distance. “Okay, you’re right, the mannequin dude was disturbing” mumbled Rumble. Scootaloo nodded while they saw Rarity dancing and sighing for the most secret agent of Celestia’s most secret service. “At least Rarity is acting normal” sighed the orange filly. They nodded and continued their way to Twilight’s Palace, where they saw Spike and Sweetie having scene in the balcony at the best style of Romeo and Juliet: “Oh Sweetie Belle, Sweetie Belle! Where are you that I can’t see you?” Asked Spike from the balcony. “Down here my beloved, admiring the beauty of the sunrise and comparing it with your eyes! And if it’s true the day starts when Celestia raises her star, for me everything is darkness until I see your face!” Answered Sweetie from beneath. “Oh my Sweetie Belle, unbelievably enough your voice is like sweet bells welcoming a new day! A beautiful melody with the power to bend even the strongest minds!” Rumble and Scoots face-hoofed. “Come on, these two are usually more tolerable! What are they doing acting like Blue Blood and Rarity?” Complained Rumble. “Let’s get into the library, maybe we can find some peace and quiet there” It was true since they were surrounded by all kinds of expressions of love equally over the top; parents showing affection for their children like Scootaloo’s parents that morning, all kinds of friendships; but the worse were the couples of course. “Silver, oh my precious friend Silver! Of all the ponies, only you have both my status and wealth, and I’m so happy to be at our side; of all my treasures, you’re my most praised oh my beloved. Would you be my especial somepony?” “For all eternity, my Diamond. My best friend in the entire world!” And since they didn’t want to see what was next, they hurried inside the library only to find another disturbing scene: Twilight surrounded by tons of books, both texts and literature while she said seductively: “Oh volume of Secret History of Equestria, not yet please! There are children near and I supposed to be working! Oh but if you insist, I’ll read you slow and nice; so much that before you realize you’ll… but don’t get jealous collection of the Sunset Saga, all literature is equally valuable and I’ll ready you nice and slow too!” So the kids ran upstairs before seeing a R-Rated scene between the Princess and her books, but they bumped with Lyra (in her uniform of the Guard of Friendship) looking at the window while crying in pain. “Oh Bonnie! Why do you have to work so near but so far at the same time? You with your sweets and me with my duty of protecting the Princess. The sweetest mare In Equestria, my sugar cube, my Bonnie I miss you every minute I am here! Why my shift have to end until five o’clock? I wish you were here with all my heart!” The two pegasi face-hoofed and walked away. “What the hell is wrong with everypony?” So they decided to leave, but using the back door since they didn’t wanted to see Twilight and her books again, when they found a green pony with a can of peas as Cutie Mark, embracing two bronze plaques that read I WANT TO BELIEVE and THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE. “Ehem, mister…?” “Sweet Pea!” he said still holding his plaques. “I’m afraid to ask, but are you in love with bronze?” Asked Rumble. “In love you say? Obviously, but not with the bronze nor my plaques, but the truth kid, THE TRUTH! The truth is out there, only waiting to be find! The Government doesn’t want us to know, but I’ll reveal their dirty little secrets to the world because I love truth so much!” Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “I’m also afraid to ask but, which truth are you talking about?” “Humans of course! I used to live with my two sisters and loved each other too much, until my older sister was kidnapped by humans, who performed horrible experiments on her and we never saw he again. The Crown bribed my parents to hide the truth, and also brainwashed by humans! The truth is out there, the Crown is cooperating with them!” The two pegasi nodded. “We were right, we shouldn’t ask” “No, no, no, please listen! I’ll explain to you all I know about the Human/Crown conspiracy and you’ll see how your lives change forever” Dissimulating, Scoots kicked a shelf that fell right on Sweet Pea’s head. “Thank you” mumbled Rumble. “Strangely enough, this dude wasn’t the weirdest one we bumped with today” Far, far away from there, in an unknown location, Maud Pie was embracing her family tree kissing each photograph. “Oh the purity of my lineage! Wherever I go, several generations of blood purity are with me; we are the purest family of earth ponies I know; if it was legal I would married with my own flesh and blood only to continue my lineage!! What I did to deserve to be the last descendant of such a beautifully clean blood line? And look at myself! Maud Pie, you’re not only pure by flesh but also you have a pure mind, not poisoned with the fake concepts of equality of rights and friendship among races! Would you be my especial somepony Maud? My pleasure Maud!” And from the terrorist’s desk, Boulder looked at her disapprovingly and rolled to a piece of quartz Maud found in her first expedition as a rocktor (her cover). Oh, they truly loved each other. Meanwhile in Canterlot, after a hard night shift, the two captains of the Lunar Guard woke up with the first rays of sun that came through their window. The white unicorn Lighting Flash cleaned her tears. “Lighting, what’s wrong?” Asked her husband the Black Swordsman. “I had a dream that none of this was real, that Aincrad and Equestria were nothing but a fantasy and I woke up in Tokyo, wherever that place is, and well… you didn’t exist as well, none the Guard non Yui” “Easy Lighting, as I say, this is our reality now: first Aincrad now Equestria, this is our home now” “I love you Black” “And I love you Lighting” They kissed and hugged, when suddenly a cute little filly jumped to the bed with them. “And I love you, mama, papa· “Oh Yui, we love you so much!” And precisely outside her room, Princess Luna danced happily at a present she just received, it was only a letter but a letter so especial that would make her happy for days and nights. “Oh Pipsqueak, the gift of your friendship grows every day, and my love for you grows with each letter I receive. Oh, our friendship will bond us for centuries, so please keep writing me these great letters” And from Ponyville, certain colt called Pipsqueak daydreamed about his platonic love the Princess of the Night. “Princess Luna, I wish you were here!” Maybe the only place where things haven’t really changed was the Crystal Empire, where Shining was drinking a revitalizing potion. “I knew I should order more of these for today” giggled the stallion. “So I better move or…” “SHINYYYYYYY! THE BED IS GETTING COLD!” “In my way Caddy. At least I can’t complain about lack sex!” Cloudsdale was passing precisely over Ponyville and certain cyan Pegasus took the chance to fly to certain dance academy and demandingly knocked at the door. “Eternal! What the hell you think you’re doing dancing with other mares, huh? I thought we had something especial!” Complained Rainbow Dash to the dance instructor and choreographer of the Shadow Bolts Eternal Wings, AKA Wings of Darkness. “We have, my little portion of the rainbow, my fragmented light spectra. But you know I earn my life by teaching mare how to put their hooves on fire. Dance is what makes the world what it is” “But if you dance with so many others, how can I be sure you want me?” “Dancing with you a forbidden dance, something I learnt beyond our frontiers, in the far away land of Draguentina!” And at his sign, his assistant put on a new disc on the music player, and before the astonished and delighted costumers, he and Rainbow began to dance to the sweet compass of violins, bass, piano and the autochthonous draconic instrument, the bandoleon. “Oh Eternal, what is this?” “It is called Tango” They danced for a while until the song finished and Eternal put a rose in his teeth. “With my sweet, sweet moves I compensate the savage and furious spirit of the Black Swordsman; that’s how we always defeat you, little Wonderbolts” “We’ll recover our title one day. You’ll see Eternal” But back to the ground, to Ponyville to be more precise, the two kids couldn’t stop seeing inappropriate and very bizarre expressions of all kinds of life. Couples, people with over-intensified feelings of friendship, filial love in several levels; this was just too much. “At least nothing was worse than the Rich household. Damn it, I didn’t knew it was leagal to do that with currency” shivered Rumble. “I doubt it is. However, we must tell the others that if we go to the store, we must pay the exact amount of cash; I do not want to receive any change from them!” “Or not. What I don’t get is why we are the only ones who weren’t affected by this stupid prank” “Oh Rumble, don’t you see it? Our friends want us to make things up!” Said Scootaloo. “Huh… well, it kind of worked, with you being the only normal one, I forgot we wre fighting” Scootaloo face-hoofed. How dense was this colt, for Celestia’s sake? Then Rumble sighed. “And sorry Scoots, I had the best of intentions” said the colt. “That’s the problem Rumble! How can be so clueless all the time? I know you have good intentions, but seriously, sometimes I really want to hurt you for being such an idiot!” “You mean when I tell bad jokes?” “NO, BOSS DAMN IT!” Rumble half smiled. “To be honest, I don’t know what to do Scoots, this is the first time a girl liked me and I seriously haven’t see girls that way… until now at least” Scootaloo stared at him. “So all this time you knew?” “Not all this time, only when the five of you called me idiot out of nowhere. Sorry for being so naïve Scoots, is just this whole thing is new for me” “I forgive you I guess, and even if I don’t like sappy dates that much, I always have a great time with you hanging out and competing and such. So why don’t we create our own style of dating?” “Perfect” “Just one more thing!” And the filly stole a quick kiss from Rumble. “It feels good from time to time” “I guess so. Shall we go skating now or something?” “Sounds interesting, then I can kick your rump in Super Alley Fighter” “You’ll try, but first let’s get things back to normal” “Yeah, I had enough of this stupidity!” Right at that moment, Applejack was walking to Twilight’s Castle while thinking how much she loved her apple trees, she wished she didn’t had to separate from them, but she supposed to give back the book she borrowed from the library precisely that day. “Twi, A’m here! A want to return this book… OH MY GOD!” Applejack covered her eyes with her hat as she saw Twilight in a compromising situation with her books. Twilight blushed and covered herself with some books. “Applejack!” “A’m sorry, A’m sorry! But what are ya’ doing in a public library?!” Twilight just stood disimulatedly. “Sorry, sorry, but is just that I love my books so much” “A’ understand, same for ma’ trees… however, I never noticed ya’ have very nice flanks Twilight” “Thank you, I try to exercise regularly but I would never see as powerful and athletic like you” Both mares blushed and giggled happily looking to each other’s eyes… when suddenly a Harmony Explosion turned them back to normal. They turned only to see Scoots and Rumble. “Sorry for grabbing your Grenades without permission but I’m sick of all this sappiness in the air. Would you mind start flirting until you fix all this?” The two mares gulped. “Huh, oh yeah, sorry. Uh-oh, sorry! Let’s get the others and fix this AJ!” “Sure thing Twi!” And they ran to action, but then Rumble took another Harmony Grenade and a dictionary. “What are you planning to do?” Asked Scootaloo. “First, seal Spike’s powers, then hit his head with this. He crossed the frigging line!” Scootaloo nodded and took another book and a Grenade. “For Sweetie” And together they went to find their partners.