I finally hit the ground, the impact knocking me unconscious.
When I woke, I realized that the ground I had fallen on was a patch of grass. I could tell that it was freshly cut, too, smelling sweetly of summer. I pulled myself up, my head still feeling heavy. I began to take a walk, trying to familiarize myself. If this was hell, it wasn’t so bad. It seemed vaguely familiar, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. To one side of the patch of grass was a paved pathway. The pathway led to…
“Canterlot Castle!” I shouted, standing up triumphantly. I began running down the path as quickly as I could. When I reached the castle, I knocked on the door, then pressed my ear to it to listen to the royals talk.
"Celestia, dear sister, could you please answer the door?"
"Luna, I'm a little busy. Why can't you get it?"
Luna cleared her throat, indicating that she was already preoccupied with something. I heard Celestia sigh in an annoyed way. "This is why we have guards." She sighed again, then hollered, "Guards, will you please open the door?"
I heard the deep voice of a man. "I've got it."
The door swung open quickly. The guard began to examine me closely. He cocked a black eyebrow, like the ponies in the show would do when they're skeptical. "Princess, there is a monkey at the front door! Should we let it in?"
I heard Celestia laugh from inside. "Sure, let me see."
The guard led me through the door, making sure that I was following him. I know monkeys may not be the most intelligent creatures, but he was seriously babying me. "Come on," he cooed, trotting backwards. "Right this way to see the pretty princess!"
I rolled my eyes and followed him into the castle's living room. Luna was playing an Xbox 360 and wearing a wireless headset. She turned her attention to me and waved slightly, controller in mid-air with her magic. I shyly waved back to the princess as the guard ushered me into a seat.
"Um...hello?" I said, remembering I could speak.
The ponies in the room gasped in unison. "It....talks?!" Celestia exclaimed.
"Yes, your Majesty," I replied. "I talk. I'm not a monkey, I am what is known as a 'human'." I began explaining what had happened. If possible, everypony's jaw would have hit the floor as I explained every little thing to them.
"So, I'm from this place called 'Earth'. Earth is inhabited by creatures like me, and, of course, the animals and plants you have here. And.."
I gulped, my voice cracking. Who knows what could happen when I broke this news to them? "You guys...are...on television."
Another gasp. I heard Luna drop her controller, then mutter a few swears under her breath as she picked it up. Celestia was the only one excited about this. "Oh, gosh! I'm on television!"
"Guys, calm down. It's not a big deal, really," I said to them. "But..."
Everypony looked at me, expecting terrible news. I just expected them to gasp obnoxiously again.
"...you're on a show for little girls, and grown men enjoy it."
Another over-dramatic gasp came from all of the ponies in the room.
Luna looked at me, her video game paused. "Sorry, but we were not expecting such news. Please, continue, so we may figure out why a 'human' is among us."
"Anyway, I am a fan of your show, but I'm a girl. The show was, in fact, made for girls," I continued.
“But you’re not a little girl,” Luna remarked, not even turning from her game.
I groaned. “Yes, I realize that.”
Celestia stood up on all fours. Without saying a word, she began to cast a spell on me, her horn glowing. I screamed, expecting to be suddenly transported elsewhere.
Her golden magic rays, which had created a dust, began to clear. The floor seemed a lot closer to me now, and it was all I saw when I looked down as opposed to my feet (and that was disappointing, I was wearing some kickin’ boots today).
I gasped. “What am I?”
Celestia smiled. “You’re a pony. You’ve got to be one of us if you’re planning on living in Equestria.”
“But…I don’t want to be a pony!”
I could see Celestia doing a bit of a shrug. It wasn’t as obvious, but it definitely gave me the same answer it did in the human world: “I don’t really care.”