//------------------------------//
// Book One, Chapter 5 
// Story: Cheer Princess 
// by MythrilMoth 
//------------------------------//

"Now Lyra, don't do anything to get us kicked out of this place," Bon Bon warned as she, Lyra, and Tia walked down the street toward the bus stop that would take them to Cheesetopia.

"I'm not!" Lyra whined.

"Really? Because we're still banned from Canterlot Gardens," she pointed out.

Lyra let out an exasperated huff. "I'm sure everybody's forgotten all about that by now!"

Bon Bon arched an eyebrow. "I haven't," she said.

Tia blinked. "How did you get banned from Canterlot Gardens?" she asked. She only vaguely knew that Canterlot Gardens was a botannical park in the city, and Celestia had made a vague mention of going there one day before school started.

Lyra cackled. "Oh, it was so cool," she said.

"It really wasn't," Bon Bon interjected sourly.

"Oh come on, it was HILARIOUS! Rainbow Dash sure thought so."

"Yeah, well Rainbow Dash isn't much better than half the boys in our class about crap like that."

"What. Happened?" Tia asked again, putting more emphasis in her question.

Lyra grinned and pulled out her phone, showing Tia a picture. Tia stared, eyes widening and cheeks flushing as she realized what she was staring at. "Is that a—"

It was a giant sculpture of a penis.

"Yep."

"Made of—"

Made entirely of snow.

"Yep."

"And you're—"

Lyra was sitting proudly on the very tip, mugging for the camera.

"Yep!"

"...why?!"

"Because it was funny," Lyra said.

Bon Bon facepalmed. "Your mom didn't think so," she said. "You had to miss our ski trip because of that stunt."

"Eh, I can't ski anyway," Lyra said. "Besides, totally worth it."

Tia shook her head. "I love a good prank, but...that's just obscene," she said. Even so, she couldn't hide the amused quirk of her lips. It actually was somewhat amusing...

Out of the corner of her eye, Tia saw something that made her stop in her tracks. She turned, eyes wide as a familiar mane of copper and gold hair disappeared around a corner. A butter-yellow girl with cherry blossom pink hair glanced in her direction, a thoughtful and concerned look on her face, before she too rounded the corner.

"Tia? You okay?" Lyra asked.

Tia shook herself. "H-huh? Oh...yes," she said. "I...I just...thought I saw somebody I know."

"Who, Fluttershy?" Bon Bon asked. "Yeah, she's in our class. I have no idea who that girl she was with is, though." She frowned. "God, what is it with the big-tits crowd rubbing it in our faces like that?"

Lyra groaned. "Don't tell me there's another braless wonder," she muttered.

"Yeah, and hers were even bigger than Fluttershy's."

"Dammit," Lyra grumbled, shaking her head.

Tia frowned. "This girl, Fluttershy...is she not nice to you or something?"

"Huh? Oh...Fluttershy's nice," Lyra said. "We mentioned her before, right? The girl with the pervy brother?"

"Oh, that's her?" Tia pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Sorry, I'm just a bit confused. You say she isn't mean to you or anything, but you sound like you don't care for her very much."

Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other contritely and sighed. "We're just...a little jealous," Bon Bon admitted.

"Fluttershy has the biggest tits of any girl in our class," Lyra explained. "Thing is...she also never wears a bra."

"Yeah, and nobody knows what to make of it," Bon Bon said. "I mean, she's a wallflower. She hates attention, she barely speaks up ever, but she goes around with those huge tits and no bra! It just...it doesn't wash."

Tia nodded. "I see," she said. "That...does seem contradictory." It definitely went against everything Celestia and Luna had taught her since she'd arrived. "Perhaps it simply makes her uncomfortable? I know my bra can get...irritating at times."

"Hmm, could be," Lyra said. "Could be she has a skin problem or something maybe?"

"Maybe," Bon Bon said doubtfully. "Doesn't explain the other girl, though. Holy crap she had huge tits. Wonder who she is?"

*I know exactly who she is,* Tia thought resignedly. *At least now I know she's alive and well. She seems to have adapted much as I have...*

"Tia? You okay?"

"Hm? Oh! Yes," Tia said, smiling with practiced ease. "Sorry, I was just thinking. Let's get going, shall we? Amusement waits for no one!"


* * * * *


The bus disgorged the three girls in front of a tall, bright yellow wall pocked with artfully-placed holes. Above a gate through which a modest trickle of people flowed, a sign proudly proclaimed:


WELCOME TO CHEESETOPIA!


An Abondance Of Cheese and Fun!


Bon Bon frowned. "A misspelling on the sign?"

Tia pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's a cheese pun," she said. "And if this is how things are starting off, this is going to be..."

"Gouda?" Lyra offered with a huge grin.

Bon Bon groaned. "I Camembert this," she muttered sourly.

"I agree," Tia said with a mischievous smirk. "I'm not very fondue puns."

"AUGH!"

"We've created a Munster," Lyra quipped.

Tia laughed. "So what do we do first?"

"I'd guess the first thing we do is buy tickets," Bon Bon said. She wrinkled her nose. "I hope it's not going to be too expensive."

"Well that's the one saving grace of this wretched monstrosity of a park, darling," a cultured voice said from behind them. "Given their...unique business model, they do offer very reasonable prices to attract customers."

Tia turned to see a teenage girl roughly the same age as Lyra and Bon Bon standing behind them with a group of three younger girls. The teenage girl had flawless ivory skin, bright sapphire eyes with long, thick eyelashes, and long, lush purple hair that was styled in elegant curls and waves. She wore a loose sky blue blouse and dark purple jeans with matching flats and had a cream-colored handbag slung over one shoulder.

"Hey Rarity," Lyra said with a smile and a wave. "Fancy seeing you here. I didn't picture this being the kind of fondue party you'd be into."

Rarity grimaced. "Well, I'd hardly say this is my scene, but Sweetie Belle and her little friends wanted to come, so..." She noticed Tia and raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And who is this?"

"I'm Tia," Tia said. "I just moved here. I'm Principal Celestia's cousin."

Rarity blinked. "Principal Celestia, the principal of Canterlot High? I see," she said. "I love your hair, darling, it's rather striking."

"Thank you," Tia said. *You should see it back in Equestria...* "So will you be going to CHS this fall?"

"Yes," Rarity said. She pressed her lips thin. "Do you mind if we accompany you in the park? I'll be honest, I'm a bit self-conscious about—"

"Being the only high-schooler in your group?" Bon Bon asked with a smirk. "Yeah, totally get it. Sure, the more the merrier!" As they moved to the line queueing up to buy tickets, she asked, "So, your little entourage, I don't believe we've been introduced?"

"Oh, of course! Where are my manners." Rarity gestured to each girl in turn. "This is my dear sister Sweetie Belle," she said, indicating a white-skinned girl with curly pink-and-lavender hair and bright green eyes, "and her friends Apple Bloom—" A girl with light yellow skin and long bright red hair tied up with a big pink ribbon, "—and Scootaloo." A girl (or at least, Tia assumed so; it was honestly hard to be sure) with dark orange skin and short, unruly bright fuschia hair. While Sweetie Belle was dressed rather nicely (a bit overdressed for summer, in Tia's estimation), Apple Bloom wore jeans, boots, and a T-shirt, while Scootaloo wore knee-length cargo shorts, a T-shirt, and sneakers.

As they approached the ticket gate, Bon Bon pulled out her phone and browsed to the park's website. "Ouch," she said with a wince.

"What's wrong?" Tia asked.

Bon Bon grimaced and let out a sigh. "Bye-bye allowance and bye-bye new phone."

"How bad is it?" Lyra asked. Bon Bon showed her, and she winced. "Oh." She glanced at Tia and bit her lip. "I didn't think about...hmm. Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all."

Tia winced. "Is it that expensive to get in?"

"It isn't cheap," Lyra said.

Rarity scoffed. "Oh, if that's all you're worried about..." She dug through her purse and came out with a thick pad of coupons secured with glue. She tore three off and handed one each to the three teens. "I have more than enough coupons for this place," she said. "They handed them out to all the shops in town. I can't give them away."

Lyra let out a relieved sigh. "Thanks, Rarity, you're a lifesaver," she said. She looked at the coupon and beamed happily. "Oh look! With this I can afford the Viking Pass!"

"Yeah, same here," Bon Bon said. She looked at her phone. "Seems to be the best value, too," she added.

"Viking Pass?" Tia asked as she studied her coupon, noting that she had just enough money on hand to afford the 'Viking Pass' with enough left over for bus fare home.

"Gives you unlimited access to all the food vendors in the park," Lyra said. "Won't cover the souvenir stands or the carney traps, those you still have to pay for, but who really wants souvenirs from a cheese park?"

"Yeah, their T-shirts probably stink," Bon Bon agreed.

"Hmm," Tia mused. "Well, it would seem that our encountering Rarity here was a stroke of providence." She smiled at Rarity. "Thank you."

Rarity waved her off. "It's nothing, darling, really." She smiled brightly. "Well, girls...Cheesetopia awaits!"

As soon as the group paid for their tickets and passed through the turnstiles, the three younger girls tore off into the park, giggling. "Girls, wait!" Rarity called plaintively. "We agreed to stick...together...oh dear..."

"Eh, let 'em have their fun," Lyra said. "They've got their phones, right?"

"Well...yes," Rarity said reluctantly. "I suppose there's no harm in letting them explore on their own. Just because the venue is cheesy doesn't necessarily mean the patrons are cheesy."

"That's the spirit!" Lyra said.

"Though it does smell pretty ripe around here," Bon Bon said with a grimace, her nose wrinkling in distaste.

Tia looked around, seeing a row of stalls offering fried mozzarella sticks, nachos, cheese-covered soft pretzels, and sample platters of more exotic cheeses. "Well, with so many cheese-based foods around, I'm not surprised this place is full of Gruyère," she said lightly.

The other girls stared at her.

Rarity narrowed her eyes. "Bad, darling. Just...terribly bad."

"You're right," Tia said. "That was awful. I could do cheddar."

All the girls groaned. "Please, cut the cheese puns," Bon Bon implored.

Lyra snickered. "Hehehe, cut the cheese..."

Rarity pinched the bridge of her nose. "This is going to be one of those days, isn't it," she said flatly.

Tia giggled. "Come on, let's see what sort of fun we can Havarti."

"GAAAAH!"

"Ricotta admit, this is pretty fun," Lyra joked.

"Don't make me dekopin you," Bon Bon threatened, glowering at Lyra, who stuck her tongue out and skipped off into the park, laughing.

Rarity shook her head. "What have I gotten myself into," she moaned.

Tia laughed. "Come on. We're at a cheese-themed amusement park, it's the middle of summer, I think a little ridiculous frivolity is the order of the day."

Rarity sighed theatrically and rolled her eyes. "I suppose," she said in a mock-resigned tone. "So, where to first?"

Tia glanced around, taking in the various attractions. Her gaze landed upon the entrance to the park's centermost structure. Her eyes lit up. "That," she decided.

Rarity followed her gaze. Atop a tall, white, faintly slimy-looking wall, a sign declared:


This way to the Haunted Cheese Maze


Provolone in the Dark


Rarity pursed her lips. "Isn't that more of an autumn thing, darling?"

"I never get to visit the haunted corn maze back home," Tia said, fierce determination in her eyes. "I must go in."

Rarity blinked. "Haunted...corn maze?"

"Ah, it's...a thing one of the nearby farming villages does," Tia said. "Back home, I mean."

"I see," Rarity said. "Well then, I suppose I'll accompany you."

Lyra and Bon Bon rematerialized out of nowhere. "So, what're we doing first?" Lyra asked.

Tia pointed at the cheese maze. "That."

"Ooh, looks like fun!" Lyra said, taking hold of Bon Bon's hand. "Let's go!"

And so, the four girls ventured into the haunted cheese maze...


* * * * *


The haunted cheese maze wound up being a nonstop sensory assault. In the cloying darkness, lit by patches of glowing bioluminescent mold and the occasional well-placed bank of LED lights, the girls' eyes, ears, and noses were accosted by pungent cheese odors, clouds of colorful smoke, ghastly giggling, bone-rattling lowing of ghost cattle, and holographic jumpscare after holographic jumpscare: mutilated zombie cows, giant cheese monsters, and a minotaur whose appearance was always accompanied by a ground-pounding, rhythmic bass thump. Tia found the experience delightful; Rarity had to be taken aside and given room to breathe once they found the exit. Bon Bon seemed completely unimpressed, while Lyra couldn't stop laughing.

Once Rarity recovered, they took a leisurely ride on the Wheel-O-Cheese, which afforded a breathtaking view of the area outside the city, with its farms and undeveloped outlying lands and the Canterlot Country Club. "Father has a membership there," Rarity said. "He only plays golf once a month, of course, but mother and I go out every Sunday to play tennis and avail ourselves of the day spa."

Tia got the sense, from the things she said, her general demeanor, and her affected posh accent that Rarity fancied herself an important person, longing to be part of high society. She knew the type—had dealt with them for hundreds of years—but while most pretenders to high class were shameless sycophants puffing themselves up to raise their stake in the world, there were those, like Rarity, who were as much substance as they were style. Her read on Rarity was that she was a drama queen and longed for the refined life of high society, wealth, and fame, but underneath it all was a nice, kind girl who enjoyed having fun with friends—there was, after all, no societal advantage to going through a haunted cheese maze with a group of girls she barely knew, even if one was the "cousin" of the school principal.

After the Wheel-O-Cheese ride, the girls spent some time wandering around the park, sampling a few cheesy treats from the vendors. The soft pretzels came with a cheese sauce that was delightful—sharp and salty, with a tang that spoke of sublime aged cheeses. There was an exhibition of what Lyra called "the fancy cheeses", which elicited a scoff from Rarity and a roll of the eyes from Bon Bon. All four girls agreed that both the aroma and the flavor of Camembert was nauseating, but the other girls found that a few cheeses with an absolutely hideous stench turned out to be quite flavorful.

None of this, alas, was anything new to Tia, as a cheese had not been invented that she hadn't tasted—whether she wanted to or not. Still, there were certain cheeses she had not had in a very long time, so she enjoyed the refresher.

After that, they'd regrouped with the three younger girls and gone on the park's signature attraction, a curiously moon-and-cheese themed roller coaster called "Fromage Here To Eternity" which zipped in and out of a giant "moon" made of "green cheese". After the roller coaster, Rarity and Sweetie Belle both excused themselves to the restroom; Tia felt sympathy for them, as her own stomach was flipping quite queasily from the experience. *Knowing I can't fly or teleport right now makes things such as that rather more terrifying...*

Once Rarity and Sweetie Belle rejoined the group, they mutually agreed to go on a slower, more relaxed ride next, and though Scootaloo protested, they piled into "Camemboats" that floated leisurely along a river of "milk" which "curdled" as a speaker on the boat droned on about the cheesemaking process.

"Talk about some wasteful engineering," Bon Bon muttered as she watched large, slimy "curds" float past in the river.

"Pretty impressive, though," Lyra said.

"Pretty boring if you ask me," Scootaloo complained.

"Yeah, this is too much like when mah big sis wanted t' help me with th' Applewood Derby," Apple Bloom said with a sigh.

"Now, girls," Rarity said patiently. "There is still plenty of time for you to go on one or two of the more exciting rides before we have to head back."

"I wanna go on the Bumper Cows!" Scootaloo said excitedly.

"Bumper...Cows?" Bon Bon asked, tilting her head.

Lyra giggled. "You know, they're bumper cars, except they're tricked out to look like cows."

Bon Bon rolled her eyes. "Of course," she said.

"Could be worse," Tia said lightly. "It could be bumper cheese."

Thirty minutes later, Tia found herself staring in flat disbelief, with Lyra snickering at her and Rarity patting her sympathetically on the shoulder.

The "Bumper Cows" turned out to be "Cows Vs. Cheese: Bumper Rally", with half the bumper cars tricked out to look like cows and the other half...

Well, they were saucer-shaped cheese wheels.

When their turn came up, Tia, Lyra, Rarity, and Scootaloo took cows while Bon Bon, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle took cheese. Tia had a delightful time careening her little cow car all over the asphalt, bumping into the guardrails and the other cars, occasionally getting enough control of her craft to go on an attack run. Rarity and Sweetie Belle, meanwhile, had some sort of sibling rivalry going on, as they kept going after each other. Lyra and Bon Bon alternated between going at each other and teaming up against somebody else—usually Tia, to her consternation.

Once their time was up, seven severely jostled, thoroughly amused, laughing girls staggered out onto the park's paved paths. "That was fun!" Tia exclaimed.

"Yes, it was rather enjoyable," Rarity said.

"What do we do next?" Sweetie Belle wondered.

Rarity glanced at her phone and grimaced. "I'm afraid we take our leave now," she said.

"Awww," the younger girls chorused.

"I'm sorry, but we've simply used up all our time for this excursion," she said. With a gentle smile, she added, "Perhaps you'll be able to return later in the summer? Maybe with Applejack next time?"

"Can we at least make one last round of the food stands?" Scootaloo asked.

Rarity bit the inside of her cheek. "Fifteen minutes," she said.

"YAY!" The girls raced off to stuff their faces. Rarity tutted, folding her arms and smiling as she watched them.

"Well, it was fun while it lasted, huh?" Lyra said with a grin.

"I suppose it was," Rarity said with a theatrical resigned sigh. She glanced at Tia. "Oh, but before I take my leave, we simply must stay in touch, darling! I rather enjoyed meeting you. Perhaps we can spend time together again? Someplace a bit more...dignified?"

Tia laughed softly. "I'd like that," she said. She exchanged numbers with Rarity. Rarity also gave her her social media information; Tia mused that she would probably need to set up some social media presence for herself now that she had friends.

That thought brought a warm smile to her face. *It's so rare that I have the pleasure of forging new friendships of my own these days. I believe I'm going to enjoy this experience.*


* * * * *


Once Rarity and her group left, Tia and her new friends spent another hour wandering around the park, but none of the remaining rides really appealed to them, and they all felt as though they'd eaten enough cheese to last the rest of the year. The sun was low in the sky when they bid a fondue farewell to Cheesetopia.

Tia returned home to find Celestia relaxing on the living room sofa watching the evening news and working diligently on her tablet, a cup of tea and a plate of cookies in front of her. "I'm back," she said.

Celestia looked up and smiled. "Did you have a good time?"

"We certainly did," Tia said. "I never knew amusement parks could be so...amusing!"

"Oh?" Celestia asked. "And which amusement park did you three go to?"

"Cheesetopia," Tia said. "It was..." She tilted her head, pursing her lips. "A unique experience."

Celestia snorted. "So I've heard," she said. "I don't think I could handle that many cheese puns."

"Well, it's certainly been a long time since I've eaten that much cheese in a single day," Tia said. She let out a whining, raspy fart; her eyes widened and her cheeks burned crimson. "Oh dear."

A stench filled the air that made Celestia gag. She raised an eyebrow. "Thanks for sharing," she said dryly.

Tia groaned. "I think my cheese farts and I will retire for the evening," she said. As she headed for her bedroom, she paused. "Oh," she said, "I almost forgot." She turned back to Celestia, a worried look on her face. "While I was with my new friends, I...believe I saw Sunset Shimmer."

Celestia blinked. "That student of yours you chased through the portal?"

"Yes," Tia said, worrying at her lip. "Of course, it...it could have been her counterpart here, but..." She frowned. "In any case, she appeared to be with a girl Lyra and Bon Bon know. Fluttershy, I think it was."

"Hmm," Celestia said. "Well...what will you do about it?"

Tia was silent for a moment. "I don't know," she said. "If...if it was her, it's not as though I'm in any position to really do anything. Except maybe keep an eye on her." She frowned. "I...I could try to talk to her, work out the differences that drove her away, but..."

"But even if that works, the two of you are still stuck in a world that isn't yours," Celestia pointed out. "Something tells me that's going to make it hard for the two of you to reconcile."

Tia grimaced. "You could be right," she said. She sighed heavily. "I'll worry about Sunset Shimmer in the morning. Right now, I need sleep." As though signalling her body's agreement, she yawned and farted at the same time.

Celestia waved a hand in front of her nose. "Yes. Please turn in for the evening. I've had my fill of cheesy horse farts."

Tia stuck her tongue out at Celestia, then shambled off to her bedroom.