//------------------------------// // Winona // Story: Talking Is Hard // by Leoshi //------------------------------// "Have ya got a minute to talk?" "For you? Of course. Um, can I offer you anything?" "Nah, not today. Mind if Ah sit?" "Go ahead." "Right, thanks..." "You seem distracted." "Yeah, Ah guess that's true. Ah s'pose you already heard?" "About Winona?" "...y-yeah..." "I'm sorry. I wish there was more I could do. This is something that can keep coming back, you know..." "No, no, not that. Ah know all about that bunch'a junk. It's not why... Well, it's not why Ah'm..." "Are...you here for something else?" "Y-yeah! Kinda like...advice, Ah guess? I-it's, uh..." "Applejack?" "Whew, sorry. Ah just...whew. It's hard, y'know. Losin' her." "I know." "It's harder havin' to watch her be in so much pain just to get around. It ain't fair, Fluttershy, it ain't fair at all. She don't deserve to be hurtin' the way she is." "I know." "What can Ah...what can Ah do?" "Applejack, I thought the veterinarian had talked you through it." "She did." "Then you would know that there's really nothing that--" "Ah know that! Ah know...all about that..." "I'm sorry." "...bunch'a junk..." "You can make her comfortable." "Yeah..." "Give her treats. Some special food that she can still keep down. Spend as much time with her as you can." "Y-yeah, sure...but what about..." "Applejack?" "J-just...give me a minute..." "Of course." "...hey, mind if Ah ask for a drink after all?" "Oh, not at all! I'll be right back." "Mmmnh..." "I remember Winona when she was just big enough to stop being a puppy." "Yeah? Oh yeah, you set up your cottage here after we found her." "That's right! I never really went out to the orchard on my own, but I always saw Winona out and about. She was so full of life back then." "Heh, she still is. It's this silly cancer that's sappin' the life from her." "That's true. Here, I made some juice this morning." "Heh, thanks." "So, remember when you first brought her to me?" "The first time? Nah... Ah've brought her about so many times over the years, they've all kinda blended together." "That's also true. I remember, though. I remember because she started out as nervous about me as I was about her. Why, she barely poked her head out from behind your hind legs until she saw us getting along!" "Wait...wait, Ah remember that! She kept nippin' at mah heels 'cause Ah was so far from home!" "Was she? Oh goodness!" "Yeah! In fact, once she knew that you weren't gonna pull a fast one on me, she started to wander your yard, and ended up diggin' a hole beneath your chicken coop!" "Mm-hmm, that's it!" "An' Ah was so embarrassed by the ordeal that Ah took it upon myself to fill it in, but Ah ended up goin' too far with mah own diggin' that Ah made another hole right next to the first!" "Yeah, yeah! That's the one that became a flowerbed for a few years." "Heheheh! Goodness sake, Ah...Sh-she'd probably still try to dig even now if anypony would let 'er." "She's probably trying to ignore the pain for your sake." "Like she doesn't want me to worry, yeah." "Mm-hmm." "Have you got any more juice?" "Sure. I'll be right back." "Thanks. Y'know, the vet told me a lot of the same stuff you just said." "Oh?" "Oh, uh, about makin' Winona comfortable, Ah mean." "Oh, yeah. Well, she was absolutely right, I think." "You get these sort of questions a lot?" "Not a lot, no. But I do get them every now and then." "Ah'm sorry." "Oh, Applejack, don't be. You have no reason to be sorry. Here's your juice." "Th-thanks. Sorry." "Hey now, you're starting to sound like me." "Ah know, and it's weird, and Ah feel so uncomfortable. It's like Ah know what to do 'cause everypony's told me what to do, but Ah still don't really know." "Really?" "Yeah, it's like... Fluff, Ah don't know! Makin' Winona happy and comfortable is all well an' good, but it ain't gonna make a difference when the time comes. She's still gonna be in pain, an' she'll still try to play like always, an' then...then she'll..." "Applejack." "What's the point, Fluttershy?" "It's because--" "If all that's gonna happen is exactly what Ah expect, then what's the point in doin' that stuff at all? Ain't it kinder to just end it now? What then?" "Applejack." "Wh-what??" "Would you mind taking a sip of your juice, please?" "What? Ah--... all right, Ah guess..." "Thank you. I'd like to answer your questions, if you want me to." "S-sure..." "Thank you, again. Look, I... Well, you've already guessed at how I get these kinds of questions sometimes. They're never easy, just like the bad news with the cancer. But that's why ponies come to me, I think, because deep down they already know why making their animal friends comfortable is necessary. They just need to hear it from me." "Yeah? An'...w-what do Ah already know?" "Well, that it's...not about you. It's about Winona." "Uh-huh..." "Winona has been a part of your life for a long time. You love her, and she loves you. But she doesn't understand the...the seriousness of her condition, which is why she's trying so hard to do what she's always done. She knows that being happy can help make you happy, after all." "Uh-huh..." "Well, here's the reality of it. You're not going to be happy. This is all just too tragic and it's going to make you sad, because you know exactly how serious all of this is. So since you can't rely on how things used to be, it's up to you to change your actions to keep her happy. Really, there's only one way to do all of that." "Make her comfortable?" "Yes. I'm sorry, Applejack, but yes. And it's because it's not about what you feel. Nothing will change the sadness you're feeling, and trying to change it will miss the point." "The point?" "Yes. The point that it's for Winona's sake. She's the one in pain right now, but she doesn't understand why. Not like we do. So it's our responsibility to make sure she's happy in spite of the pain. And since you mentioned it, you can choose to 'end it all' sooner if you think that's best. At this point, nopony will blame you for it. Winona has lived a happy life with you and your family, so you have the right to make that choice. Just remember that it's a choice that should be made for Winona's sake, too, and not your own." "...Ah j-just..." "Hey, it's okay to cry." "N-no, it's just that... You're m-much better at explainin' this k-kinda stuff than the vet was..." "Heh. We have different methods. She's still very good at what she does, though." "Y-yeah, whatever." "Would you like to know what you can do afterwards?" "..." "Applejack?" "Sorry...but that's p-pretty much the question Ah was gonna a-ask in the first place." "Oh! Then...?" "Don't worry. Ah think Ah...needed to hear all of th-that anyway." "I'm...I'm glad."