//------------------------------// // Chapter 30 // Story: The Perilous Gestation of Swans // by kudzuhaiku //------------------------------// Princess Celestia was a ham, the hammiest of hams, and Gosling feared for any little foals that he would have with her. One of them was bound to be a ham, just like its mother. Of course, he himself was perfect, innocent, and blameless; never would he take anything too far. But Celestia? After this evening’s supper club theatre, Gosling couldn’t even look at his mate without cracking a big, wide, stupid smile. She seemed to be okay after eating the dreaded Breadnaught, but he had the nagging suspicion that something was wrong. This was why he loved her. The big mare was full of life and of a love for life. She championed the very cause of life, as he was starting to learn. Like any mare, she had secrets, and Gosling was only beginning to learn of some of them, such as her introversion. But for all of Celestia’s secrets, Luna seemed to have even more. Gosling knew that something was up, something big, even if he couldn’t fathom what it was, and he was determined to get down to the bottom of it. Or maybe just get down on Luna’s bottom… someday. Having finished supper, they had retired to a large, comfortable parlour so they could be a family together. Gosling lived for moments like these—they recharged his batteries and gave him a safe environment to be himself. Luna and his mother were getting chummy, and both exchanged various headbutting techniques with one another. This was not a conversation he wanted his mother having with his violent, aggressive, dominant blue mate. Only headaches could come from this… Celestia was sprawled out—splooted—on the floor, a reminder that the furniture industry held continued unkindness to giants. Cadance was already straining what the common sofa was capable of, and she too, was sprawled out. Shining Armor was fanning her with a newspaper while she moaned out distressed utterances about hot flashes. Flurry was pouting, upset that she couldn’t use her mother’s stomach as a trampoline. Tucked into a corner together, Twilight, Seville, and Hotspur were having a dizzying conversation about the implied duties of the press. Hotspur believed in jingoistic journalism—no surprise—but Seville had surprising open-mindedness and tolerance for his hot-headed friend. Twilight, on the other hoof, not so much; she had much to say about the dangers of jingoism bleeding into the press and polluting the minds of the public. As for Blueblood and Raven’s whispered conversation, it was better not to listen. Hush was all by his lonesome, in a pony-loaf position on the floor reading a book. A pair of reading glasses sat somewhat askew on the bridge of his muzzle, and the book he was reading was titled, Quiet Serenity, A Book By Fluttershy, of Ponyville. Gosling was dying to know what the book was about, but one simply did not bother Hush while he was reading. Even Flurry knew better. And should assassins pick this moment to make a disruption? Gosling pitied them. Heads would be unscrewed like lids from jars and all manner of bad things would happen. Gosling loved his friend—very much so—but Hush could be a little intimidating at times. He was a born soldier, loyal to few, defender of many. Ears pricking, Gosling began to notice that Twilight was correcting Hotspur’s grammar and trying to subdue his accent. The impromptu elocution lesson was just what that conversation needed. Smiling, Gosling allowed himself to eavesdrop a bit before he turned his head to look Celestia in the eye and asked, “Are you happy?” “Right now, at this moment, I am ridiculously happy,” she replied. “Mama’s fat,” Flurry announced in a clarion voice that filled the room. Gosling looked into Celestia’s eyes, he couldn’t look away, not now, maybe not ever, and he could see the laughter welling up from the depths long before it reached her perfect lips. When she laughed, he laughed, and neither could hear Cadance’s indignant snorting made in response to Flurry’s statement of the obvious. “Can you get fat from hugs? Mommy and Daddy hug a lot. And wrassle!” Sleet and Luna both stared with their mouths hanging open. They were a mirror of one another, one stark white, the other blue, both had wide eyes, flared nostrils, and their mouths were perfect round ‘O’s of shock. Twilight’s elocution lesson with Hotspur came to an abrupt halt. Cadance too, had gone quiet. Shining Armor bit his own hoof to keep from saying anything. Hush kept reading. Celestia’s laughter ceased when she made a swan-like honk. It was like giggle-snorting, but something more unique to pegasus ponies and alicorns. For a brief second, discomfort could be seen on Celestia’s face, but nopony noticed. Another swan-like honk escaped, and that was when Gosling let out a caw. Every winged creature in the room responded. Celestia rose to her hooves, flared out her wings, and thus established her dominance. Gosling too, rose up, and the pair of them stood neck to neck. He cawed again, a territorial display, and this was matched with yet another trumpeting honk from Celestia. The instinct governing flock behaviour proved too strong to resist, and Luna too, was on her hooves, ready to establish her place in the pecking order. She hooted. This startled Twilight, who appeared to be quite alarmed. Luna strode across the room, stiff legged, joining her sister and Gosling. The trio stood neck to neck, hooting, cawing, and honking. Sleet followed Luna, and she too hooted, but it was a different sound, a smaller, softer, stealthier sound more suited to some arctic owl that hunted the tundra. The little white pegasus joined the flock, her head raised high and tilted back for maximum throatiness. Hotspur broke away, compelled, pulled by invisible forces. He trilled, a sound most common to cardinals, and he approached the gathered flock with his head held low while Cadance rolled off of the couch. Cadance cooed, a dovelike sound, and with her head held high, she too gathered with the flock in front of the fireplace. “I hate when this happens,” Shining Armor said while he hugged a confused looking Flurry close to him. His wife cooed again, and again, and then yet again, and he rolled his eyes. Without looking away from his book, Hush let out a polite chirp of echolocation. Cawing, Gosling’s ears took on an aggressive angle, but alas, he was incapable of performing a plumage display. His head bobbed—an almost avian motion—and Celestia joined him while making a few bellicose honks. She was at the top of this pecking order, of this, there could be no doubt. Luna slapped necks with her sister—a challenge—and her hoots intensified. Celestia drowned out her sister’s challenge with a foghorn honk, and Luna shied away. Cadance cooed, but Luna slapped her with her wing. She cooed again in defiance—it seemed the pecking order had some establishing that still needed to be done—and Luna responded by holding her head higher. Cadance cooed yet again, and when Luna wing-slapped her once more, the blue alicorn was slapped by her bigger, more dominant sister. Hotspur remained at a respectful distance on the edges, and flared his wings out in a more protective—rather than dominant—pose. Sleet, also on the edges, hooted while giving her half-extended wings a slow flap. With a terrified squeak, Twilight stood up, looking confused and alarmed. Her wings flapped against her sides, and she stumbled a bit as she approached the gathered flock. Her eyes were almost glassy with fear, and her tail whipped from side to side. She approached with caution, her head low, not wishing to disturb the established pecking order, and it was clear that she did not understand what was going on. “Not my sister,” Shining Armor groaned while he hugged his daughter even tighter. “Join us, Twilight,” Cadance said, and then she cooed while keeping a wary eye on her rival, Luna. “Let it out. Become one of us!” Luna hooted, an annoyed sound, because her rivalry against Cadance was held in check by Celestia, the biggest bird of the brood. She did, however, manage to slap necks with Cadance, and this seemed to be allowed. The pink alicorn pushed back, shoving up against Luna in retaliation, and Celestia honked while she gave the two smaller alicorns a token shove with her great alabaster wings. Mouth open, Twilight seemed quite disturbed, and her barrel hitched as though she had the hiccups. No sound came forth, but she stood there, apart from the gathered flock but close, her wings trembling. Every eye in the room was on her, save Hush’s, and she seemed to be quite uncomfortable with this mess. “What is going on?” she asked. “I feel peculiar.” “Within every pegasus there is a deep connection to nature,” Cadance responded while staving off Luna’s aggression. “Become one with your inner-pegasus, Twilight!” “Let it go, let it go—” Luna’s sing-song suggestion ceased when Celestia slapped her again. The smaller blue alicorn glared up at the larger, but there was nothing she could do. Celestia was the dominant one of this flock, so Luna vented her frustrations on Cadance with a powerful neck-to-neck shove. Cadance, bracing her hind legs, pushed back, undaunted. The pink on blue struggle was antagonistic, but also somehow affectionate. Twilight sucked in a deep breath and her eyes darted to and fro, meeting every other eye in the gathered flock. Her whole body shook, she trembled, and sweat poured from her temples. For a few seconds, her orange tongue graced her lips, and then, her wings flared out just a little bit more. Legs stiff, her stance went wide, her ears stood up straight, and Twilight discovered her inner-pegasus. “Buc-buc-buc-buccaw!” The clucking silenced the entire room, and Hush looked up from his book. “Hmm,” he hmmed. “Buc-buccaw!” Twilight covered her mouth with both wings, and then stood there crosseyed and in shock. It was Cadance who responded first, and she broke away from the flock to join her sister-in-law. Wings out, she embraced Twilight in a comforting hug, and whispered a bit of some much needed soft assurance: “You’re a mother hen, Twilight… a ferocious protector. Congratulations!” Once more, Twilight clucked and she squeezed her eyes shut. “We approve!” Luna shouted, glad that her rival was gone. She pressed up against her sister’s side, unchallenged for her position. “My sister, the egghead, is a chicken—” “Shining Armor!” Wrapping her wings around Twilight, Cadance pulled her even closer. “We don’t flock-shame,” Sleet said to Shining, and she let out a stern hoot of annoyance. “Yeah, we don’t flock-shame, that’s just rude!” Hotspur broke away from the flock, moved closer to Twilight and Cadance, and then stood at a respectful distance. “Yous a snob, Shining.” “Clearly I don’t understand the importance of what is going on.” Shining let out a sigh, gave Flurry a final squeeze, and then he let her go. “I’m sorry, Twily.” She bounced from the couch down to the floor, and then ran over to stand with her mother and her aunt, looking happy and excited. When Celestia let out a sharp honk of disapproval, little Flurry almost jumped out of her skin, and her wings flapped in panic. Adorable, adorable panic. “These are our most sacred traditions,” Luna said while she pressed up against her sister. “Not every little pegasus makes a connection with their inner-nature, for various reasons. Some never hear the call, others have parents who aren’t pegasus ponies, and some are even repressed by those who feel that such spiritual awakenings are silly, shameful, or something best left in the past. Twilight Sparkle, We offer our most heartfelt and sincere congratulations for connecting to your pegasus nature.” “We’s a couple of jays, ain’ts we, Gosling?” Hotspur let out a trilling noise and glanced over at his friend. “A flock within a flock.” Cawing, Gosling nodded, and then replied, “Tribe within a tribe.” “Sleet and Luna make for a fine pair of hooters,” Celestia remarked, and she patted her sister with her wing while rubbing necks with Gosling. “Perhaps in a different life, under different circumstances, Sleet might’ve had a brilliant career in the guard, a skull-smasher of evil.” “This isn’t a joke, is it?” Twilight asked while she opened up her eyes. She stared up at Cadance, looking very much like a scared filly just discovering something new, something unknown, something terrifying that changed everything she thought she knew. “I suppose I have been neglecting my pegasus pony nature, and I really haven’t explored my earth pony nature at all. I suppose I am still a unicorn at heart.” “There is no shame in self discovery.” Cadance gave her sister in law a fierce hug that made Twilight squeak. “Just remember to let it out every once in awhile, Twilight. This is an important part of who and what you are. Don’t be embarrassed, and don’t let your brother shame you—” “I said I was sorry!” “You’ll be sorry later,” Cadance promised, and she shot a raised eyebrow at her husband. Something deep within Celestia’s bowels creaked and a pink blush spread like wildfire from her face down to the entirety of her body. There was a gurgle, and one hind hoof stomped hard enough to crack the floor. A wet, slurping-sucking sound could be heard from somewhere between Celestia’s cutie marks, and her fuzzy little dock flagged in alarm. “I must go and sit in state upon my throne,” Celestia announced while her guts continued to make ear-pricking slorgling sounds. “Burial at sea?” Gosling asked while making a disgusted grimace. These were not sexy sounds, not at all, these were the nasty noises that no husband wanted to hear coming from the bowels of his wife. “You have no idea, Gosling.” Celestia licked her lips while her stomach continued to make horrifying sounds of distress. “Yon ill wind cometh!” As she spoke these words, the regal white monarch vanished from view, leaving behind a startled flock that all stood there blinking at one another. Gosling, his ears drooping, gave voice to what everypony was thinking: “I’m scared!”