All the way through his journey as luggage for what turned out to be two out of eight ponies, the short way past the passed out guards, out of his little barrier, and even all the way through the Everfree, Jax felt only a little discomfort. No great annoyance, or malice, or the hope of death upon those who dare abduct him. Just… acceptance. ‘Yep, this was his life now’ sort of thing. He knew he should feel the same way Sombra did, ranting about how they would suffer for their transgressions against him, but… he didn’t. Through the forest, he wondered how the leaves could blot out so much of the light when the trees looked so gnarled and dead. When they entered a cave, he wondered how it could be so deep with no support beams, and not collapse right on top of them.
Detached. That was how he felt. He was somewhat aware that he should be able to feel hate, since he supposedly only had his love sucked out, but no such feelings came forth. He was just… there.
The cave finally opened up into a large chamber, where five ponies were gathered. There wasn’t much in there, just some chairs and a table, stalactites and stalagmites… something that looked like changelings hanging from the ceiling in the corner... neat place. Together with the eight ponies that had captured him, that made thirteen ponies, three changelings, one human, and one Sombra.
“We got him, and left the changeling behind, just as planned.” The earth pony that carried him informed them. He didn’t seem very victorious for someone who had just succeeded in an important mission.
A pony in a suit came forward, looking Jax over. The look in his eyes could only be described as ‘hungry’ and it didn’t sit well with Jax.
‘Wow… I would comment on the look he gave you, but I might very well have had that look in the past.’ Sombra commented. Jax wasn’t sure what to answer to that.
“I cannot believe we caught you so easily… Sombra.” He said the name with contempt. “I must admit, I had a bit of doubt that the plan would work… I mean, how could such a simple plan work? Yet here we are… I knew something was wrong when my spies told me about Hidden Gem. You had cast her away for a reason! She was a weakness, and you were stronger without her!” He finally took some deep breaths.
‘Why is this stallion speaking like he knows me..?’ Sombra sounded confused.
“I must admit, I am disappointed in you Sombra. I expected more from you. It seems you stopped being a threat long ago though… if I had known, I would have struck faster.” He finally turned away from them. “Tie him up with the others. We’ve prepared the spell, it should work. If I know Luna well, she will come charging in here, and then we’ll have her.” The suit pony declared as a sinister grin spread on his muzzle. Something twitched within Jax at the mention of ‘Luna’ and ‘have her’, but not enough to leave him worried.
‘Ah… so it was a trap.’ Sombra grumbled as they were lifted over to the changelings. ‘That means they are not as dumb as I had hoped.’
The ponies tied them up very thoroughly, even more than they already were and practically cocooned them in rope, then hung them up next to the changelings. Not very comfortable. He couldn’t move a muscle, and the textile that was shoved into his mouth to keep him from talking tasted weird. He could do nothing but breathe through his nose, the damp smell of the place making him wish they had burned some scented candles or something.
‘You know, this all feels very nostalgic. The schemes, the betting it all on one thing going right… so this is how it feels to be on the receiving end.’ Sombra actually sounded a little amused. ‘Cannot say I enjoy it much… but at least they are not after me, I think. Seems like they really want Luna, despite… that speech.’
Silence reigned between them for a while as the ponies in front of them discussed when Luna was going to arrive - apparently they had at least an hour, and they had set out wards just in case - until Sombra finally asked: ‘Are you really okay with this? They want Luna, and I am fairly certain they do not have good intentions.’
‘I… know that I should be worried, but I can’t seem to… do it. It’s weird.’
‘Yes, but also interesting. To think love was tied to so many emotions. Worry for her, I can see why you would not feel, but anger about your current situation? What does anger have to do with love? How much love did he really take from you? And was it only love? Hmm, there is a lifetime of study here.’
‘Thinking about going straight?’ Asked, a bit distracted by the ponies. The unicorns were engraving something into the very rock of the floor.
Sombra scoffed at his comment. ‘Not like I have many options, seeing as I gave myself up to the throne. And… going back to the way things were would… well… Hidden Gem would be sad.’
‘Mmm.’ He agreed, feeling a twinge of something again. There was nothing for it but to wait, he assumed. Not like there was much he could do.
***
It went so slowly that he didn’t even notice that he was becoming himself again. He entertained himself by swinging back and forth, to distract from the numbness that was spreading, when he noticed he felt grumpy by the whole situation, but somewhat pleased that his kidnappers seemed to feel ridiculously restless. They went around, checked the ritual thing in the centre, tested if the hostages’ (Jax’ and the changelings’) ropes were still tight, reviewed the plan again and again - waited for Luna to come storming in and trap her in the thing they called a restriction rune, which was the ritual thingy they had etched into the stone in the middle of the room - in any case, Jax wasn’t sure what they planned to do with Luna after that, and neither did they, it seemed… or maybe they knew all too well. Nopony mentioned anything about it, as if the most important thing was to capture her and nothing else.
In any case, Jax was becoming more and more pissed. Being tied up and hung as some kind of exotic decoration was one thing, leaving him hanging until he felt like the rough rope was going to cut through his skin was another… but that they dared threaten his Luna - that was unforgivable. With the anger came the inevitable frustration of not being able to do anything while strung up like he was, the hope that Luna wasn’t going to charge in here like a ravaging beast, the worry that she was going to do exactly that - it was the eagerness for something to happen, and the prayer that it never would.
‘Control yourself. There is an option yet.’ Sombra called from deep within him. ‘You, by yourself, could not hope to do anything… but together, we can forge a way out of this. All you have to do, is focus. I shall grant thee the spell for thine powers to unlock, the power to vanquish those before us, those that dared bring us here.’
‘…why are you speaking like that? It’s totally awesome when Luna does it, but when you do it… I feel like I’m about to sell my soul or something.’ Jax shivered.
‘… Fine. I just thought it fit the mood pretty well, and I wanted to try it. The Crystal Empire had moved on from that way of speaking long before-‘ Sombra cut himself of from whatever he was about to grumpily explain, and took on a more serious tone again. ‘In any case, I’ll cast a spell, and you just focus on fun or what it is you have to do.’
‘I dunno man. I mean I want to do something, but that is pretty risky’
‘What do you mean? I use a simple spell, you take care of the fun part, and we’re out of here. No need to wait for help like some kind of helpless-‘
‘Yeah, how about no? What if something goes wrong? What if I just make things worse? I’m not exactly in the ‘fun’ mood right now, if you couldn’t guess.’ Jax argued.
‘What, you would rather wait here like some pathetic slab of meat? We have the power to get out, if you would just-‘ Sombra sounded like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
‘but-‘
‘Use it! You will never get better at using it if you do not practise! You will never gain strength if you fear your power!’
‘…No.’ Jax put his figurative foot down.
‘What do you mean NO! Do you not see that-’ Sombra sounded outraged, but cut himself off and did something that to Jax seemed like he was taking some deep breaths to calm himself. ‘… Alright… alright, I shall bite: Why not?’
‘What do you mean why not, I just told you!’
‘Yes, but I am asking about the real reason.’
‘I - well… alright, fine. The first time I used it, I caused my friend pain. The second time I was caught on fire. So you can understand if I’m a bit reluctant.’
‘… No I cannot. The third time you used it to over and over again to try and create a pen.’
‘That was different. I had both Twilight and Luna watching over me in a safe environment.’
‘The forth time you made a portal right in front of me.’
‘That was to save Rainbow Dash from dying! I wasn’t even thinking, it just sort of happened. Thanks for that by the way.’
‘Do you take responsibility for everything you did while under the influence of a positive magic high? Anyway, the fifth time you trapped me in here with you.’
‘Yeah, whatever. I couldn’t just let you take over my body to kill them.’
‘You think these ponies have peaceful intentions?! You think they took us to have peaceful a conversation? Come now, Jax. I know you are not the smartest, but you cannot honestly believe that it will end well if we do nothing!’
‘Alrigth, alright, chill.’ Jax finaly gave in a little. ‘No need to mock my intelligence. Look… the reason I’m a little nervours in using the powers unattended is that… the fact that anything at all can happen... Anything. At. All… it worries me deeply. If this was an emergency - if I really believed that Luna was going to fly through that opening all alone for some reason, I wouldn’t hesitate to do this, even for the chance to avoid anything bad happening to her… but that obviously won’t happen. You know Twilight and the girls are going to bust out any time now and save the day, as they always do.’
‘Twilight is in Canterlot, remember?’
‘Oh… right. Well the rest of them can easily handle this. They know the way out to the old castle, and I’m sure that bastard… I mean, poor changeling found and told someone about the situation.’
‘Yes, certainly… but the thing you are describing is too perfect, too simple to happen. But alright, I understand. Let’s use it as a last resort, in case Luna does come alone, or the… girls… are in trouble. I am just going to say right now that I do not endorse this method.’ He ended, but finally seemed to drop the subject.
‘Thank you.’ Jax sighed in relief at not having to discuss it any further, even though what Sombra had mentioned about simpleness worried him. Surely his bad luck wasn’t so bad that… no, no it was fine.
‘In any case, there’s something curious about your whole chaos magic…’ Sombra started a new conversation, which Jax was grateful for. It helped take his mind off things. ‘Maybe ‘fun’ is the way Discord controls it… but that does not mean it is the only way it can be done. When you opened a portal from the orchard to the hospital, it did just that.’
‘Well maybe the fun was that I couldn’t close it afterwards? What would I have done if Discord hadn’t come to take care of it. It’s also the way Pinkie does it, so that’s a hundred percent success rate for fun.’
‘Yes, but in situations like these I can understand why you would have a little trouble with it. My theory would be… It cannot be contained. It cannot be ordered. I think that is where it lies. It is chaos, truly free… and that is how you must treat it.’
‘… yes, okay, thank you. That’s almost as vague as the ‘fun’ thing.’ Jax sighed. They all seemed to think it was so easy.
‘It may be vague, but that is in part your own fault. There is not a lot of data to work with here. Magic in general is vague, in case you did not know. Most unicorns probably would not be able to tell you how they levitate objects - it has just become second nature to them. Most spells require you to have a clear picture of the outcome, especially transformation spells. It makes long distance teleportation almost impossible then, does it not? And teleporting to places you have never set hoof in - not to mention taking into account the curvature of the planet!’ Sombra laughed at something Jax didn’t quite get. ‘Ahh, thankfully math has been integrated in spells-‘
‘Let me guess, it was Starswirl the Bearded that did it?’ Jax asked, almost comically anticipating to see whether his guess was right or not. Starswirl just happened to be the only wizard he knew of, and he remembered hazily Twilight telling him about how influential he had been.
‘Well, not exactly - he was certainly the one to integrate it properly into many spells, and is known for distributing it to the masses, but several wizards had tried before him -‘ Sombra cut himself off as the atmosphere in the cave changed drastically. Every pony head in the cave turned towards the entrance at the same time. The head guy - the one in the suit - smiled his creepy smile again
“She’s here.” They all said simultaneously. It was… well, unnerving.
Fear crept up Jax’ spine and made him shiver. ‘Please at least be accompanied by the elements, please be accompanied by the elements, please… please….‘ He prayed to whatever gods may be. If he knew anything in this world, it was that those girls were problem-solving experts.
“THOU DAREST STEAL MY JAX?!” came a shout that shook the whole cave. For a second there was silence, then, the sound of wingbeats, before she appeared in all her graceful glory, face contorted with so much righteous fury, even Jax felt a little afraid. She paused in the air for a second, spreading her wings, probably taking in her surroundings. She hung in the air, almost blending in with the darkness, when her eyes started to shine with power. “THINE TRECHERY AWAITS PUNISHMENT, AND I - THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT - SHALL DELIVER IT!“
The whole cave shook again, dust and - more worriedly - pieces of the ceiling started to fall. The whole thing was probably going to collapse soon.
But man was Luna awesome. Jax was completely enchanted by the sight of his marefriend about to deal out some asskicking to these losers.
Alas, this was life, and life was rarely that simple for Jax. Some of the… cultists? Whatever they were, they started running towards him, and Luna, bless her sweet heart, followed without a moment’s hesitation, whether to get in range to use magic, or just beat them to him, he wasn’t sure, but… her flight path would lead her straight over the sigil/ rune/ thing that these fuckers had spent so much time etching into the stone ground.
Jax tried to warn her of course, tried to scream past the gag he had in his mouth, tried to will her to spot it before she was trapped, but it was all for naught. She flew over it, it lit up with power, and Luna slammed into a barrier that appeared in a circle around it. She fell down to the ground, disoriented. The cultists that had ran to him seemingly lost interest in him, as they joined as the others started amassing around his Luna, ignoring that pieces of the ceiling were still falling.
‘Use it! Use it now!’ He screamed in his mind to get Sombra to use magic.
‘This is why I wanted to do it earlier… with the way your acting right now, I honestly do not know what could happen.’ Sombra warned him. ‘Calm yourself. Let go of your anger, your regret, let it go so that you can save her.’
Luna looked around, then scoffed. “You think a simple restriction rune can hold me? I’ll be out of here -“ Then she cut herself off as she got a good look at the suit pony. “Justice Law? What are you doing… here….” Her face showed real confusion, as if never in a thousand years would she have guessed that this pony would be the one in charge of this operation.
“It’s true that it could never hold you… princess.” He spat out the word as if it was an insult. “but it was never meant to. It was just to get you here, so that we can talk.”
“Talk?” She asked still confused, looking around at the gathered ponies. “Isn’t that a maid from the castle? Why is one of my lawayers and… What are… you all… Ah.” Suddenly it looked like she understood something. “Changelings.”
“Wrong as always, little Wuuna.” A mare with a snobbish accent said degradingly. “No matter what you do, you’re always wrong, aren’t you?”
“And no matter what Celestia does, she’s always right.” Another pony took over, the earth pony that had partly carried Jax through the forest. “They all look at her like she was a saint, but is it not you who do the most important work? You hold court and help ponies personally with their nightmares. All she does is smile and garner their love.”
“Are you not as much a princess as she is? Why should they love her more than you?” A third pony said. “They sleep your night away while they play in her sun… doesn’t it frustrate you? Why do you even bother raising the moon when nopony is going to see it?”
They started walking around her, and Jax had never seen such a look of… despair on her before… she looked completely lost. He did not like that look one bit. Then and there, Jax made a choice. ‘Fuck the consequences. Do it now.’ He told Sombra with steel in his voice, willing with everything he had for Luna to be free.
“I do not understand… why are you doing this?” She sounded so frail… “What do you stand to gain?”
‘Alright.’ Was his short answer.
“Oh Luna, you never quite did understand, did you?” They started speaking with one voice, unaffected by chunks of the ceiling falling down around them in their eternal path around her. “Why they wouldn’t love you the same way they loved her. Why the sun was so beloved when you did all the hard work. Why they feared you. Do they fear you any less now, Luna? Are you as beloved as her? Did anything even change since then?!” They lashed forward at ‘change’, and Jax’ heart tightened when Luna recoiled. Seeing her so powerless… ‘What is taking so long?!’
“Of course it hasn’t!” They continued to torment her. “The answer is obvious. You are still unappreciated, you are still nothing compared to her, and all she has to do is smile!”
‘I cannot… seem… to…’ Sombra sounded like he had been straining to do something, before giving up. ‘These chains… they are still too tight. I can almost get a spell through but, it is stopped at the last second. I just need a bit more time….’
‘We don’t have time!’ He hurried, even as he tried get that damn gag off so he could shout to her. To tell her that things had changed, and if he had anything to say, they would continue to change until she was happy with what she saw.
The gag stayed where it was, but all his trashing seemed to gain Luna’s attention. They made eye-contact, and he felt like she could see everything he was trying to say in that brief moment.
Her face changed from despair to determination faster than you can say ‘stop being creepy.’
“Enough!” She shouted, not helping the situation with the ceiling, but at least it shut them up. There was a quick burst from her horn, and the barrier around her shattered. She stood up straight with pride and power that filled Jax with hope, and levitated all of them up into the air. “I am princess Luna, and though I may be damaged and barely healing, I will not let mere children break me. I will ask one more time… why are you doing this?”
Despite the power radiating out from her, despite being helplessly held in her aura… they all still smiled, and when they spoke, they still spoke as one. “You still don’t understand, of course you don’t. We are you Luna… your true self.” Then their voice became caring, almost loving. “Don’t worry… we will make them love you. They will all love you when you are the only princess to love, and how can they not see your sky when the night will last… FOREVER!”
Then the most chilling thing happened. Out of their mouths, came out a dark… mist or… fog. It gathered over her, and then flew into her mouth which had been open in shock.
‘The parasite! I knew it was not gone. So it has been scheming all this time….’ Sombra blurted out.
Jax’ heart screamed in frustration at how things were turning out. Despair almost overcame him alongside regret. How could things have turned out so disastrous? Why didn’t he stop it?
‘Do not take the blame. This is not your fault - even if you had agreed to using magic when I suggested, I would not have been able to use a spell.’
Luna just stood there, as still as a statue. Jax could only imagine what kind of internal battle was going on. All the ponies had been dropped onto the floor, unconscious. A terrible sound of earth shifting above them as more pieces of the ceiling was falling barely registered with Jax. Only one thing mattered….
‘Please… let me help her….’
Sombra concentrated on casting a spell.
***
Luna found herself in her room. She looked around in confusion, breathing heavily. She was in her room from way before… everything. Her room in the Castle of the Two Sisters, before she demolished most of it in her battle with Celestia. This room looked exactly the way it had back then, which was impossible. On the bed laid… well, her, but younger. Time travel? No, that was very implausible… a dream? That still felt wrong. She was not in the dream realm. A memory then.
That in itself was worrying… but even worse was the feeling it brought with it to be there. There was a deep sorrow gnawing at her soul, the same way it had been back then. She once again felt like she carried the weight of years and years of bottled up emotions.
Her heart felt like it contorted, making both her and memory-Luna whine and paw helplessly at their chest in a desperate attempt to make it stop. By the stars, it felt just as it had back then. This must be shortly before her transformation to Nightmare Moon.
Fear overwhelmed her even as tears made their way out of her eyes. She had never wanted to feel like this again. Feeling so unwanted that it hurt.
“Have you forgotten how it felt?" It was a whisper, almost caring in its tone, coming from seemingly nowhere. "The pain, the agitation, how lonely and small you felt…. Every. Single. Night. I was the one who made you feel powerful again. I was the one who made you feel a little less like you were taking on the world by yourself. I was your friend.”
A lie. A sweet lie that she had once believed. Not a friend, a manipulator.
“Oh? That is not how you felt about me when I was the only one who listened to you - the only one who cared for you. I did not make any of the ponies treat you as they did, they did so of their own volition.”
The room shifted and blurred until she stood by a door. There was a party on the other side, one Luna was not invited to because she had to do her duty at night. Of course Celestia was in there, having a grand time. Beside her stood memory-Luna, a hoof on the door, ready to go in and join the celebrations. She had braided her mane, and put on a dress, because surely her nightly duties could wait while she relaxed a little?
“’Tis a most wondrous party, old friend.” Came a voice from the other side of the door. Both Lunas froze. “Even the princess looks like she is having a valorous time. Thee didst not inviteth the other one, didst thee?”
“Is it Luna thou art referring to? Nay, perish the thought. I toldeth Princess Celestia I couldst not taketh her from her nightly duty, but truthfully… nopony present desires her presence.” Another voice answered, dripping with distaste.
“Oh, splendid. She once arrived at one of my gatherings. A disaster, I tell thee, her very presence spoiled the merriment in an instant.”
She felt her ears droop in tangent with memory-Luna’s. Unwanted. That was what she was. The second princess that nopony liked. The useless one that was never noticed.
They both left the door, lest her heart explode in rage and sorrow… as it had before.
“Don’t run away from it. There is no place to hide.” The Limelight whispered to her, like a friend wanting her to face her fears. “There is a way to make it all better. To make them see.”
“You are wasting both our time. I will never be Nightmare Moon again. Whatever the cost, it will not happen.” She said out loud, her voice like steel. Memory-Luna walked past her with her head down. It would not take long for the Limelight to whisper her into submission after that. The last straw, in a sense.
“They could love you-“
“They would fear me.” She held her ground, despite the despair that overwhelmed her, the feelings that she had had back then. It was hard to think straight.
“They fear you now! Nothing has changed!”
Through a great show of will, Luna managed to think back to all the things she had experienced since she was freed from Nightmare Moon. At first, things were just as the Limelight said. She was feared, she was lonely, she just wanted the pain to end. But then… “Some things have changed.” She said softly.
She tried to find her magic inside herself, but there was none to be found. She was neither in her own body nor in the dream realm, after all. But she was still inside herself, and in here, she was the master. She willed herself out, back to her body, but nothing happened.
So instead she forced her will upon the memory, made it change, until they stood in her new room in Canterlot Castle. The curtains were drawn tight, shrouding the room in darkness. Buried deeply under the covers of the bed was a very lonely, and very sad memory of her. So sad that she could barely keep going.
Then there was a knock on the door. Memory-Luna did not answer, but the door opened slowly anyway. Celestia carefully and slowly made her way in, as if not to scare Luna.
She did not make a sound as she made her way to the bed. She stood for a few seconds, perhaps waiting for some kind of reaction, but when none came, she carefully entered the bed. She laid down close to Memory-Luna, then laid her head on top of her sister. She still did not receive a reaction, but Luna could feel the loneliness lessen, just a little. Enough to keep going.
“This doesn’t mean-“
Once again, she asserted her will, and once again the memory changed. This one was of Moondancer, and her job interview. The mare would become her friend yet, she just needed a bit more time. Happiness washed over her when Moondancer told her the story of how she used to talk with the moon.
Before the Limelight could say anything, she changed the memory again.
It was of when she talked it out with Celestia, both letting go of the past. The memory brought relief.
She changed it again, to when Moondancer brought the newspaper that described how the population had gone out to watch her Moonday show. Pride and a sense of appreciation filled her. Things had changed.
The memory of when Jax declared that they were friends on a moonlit night in their clearing. Overwhelming happiness.
Jax in constant pain for three days, Luna constantly by his side. Worry… but also care.
Jax declaring her his best friend. So much unexpected joy.
Jax scratching her… and the resulting situation. Embarrassment.
Jax telling her about how he was going to help her image. A sliver of hope.
Laying close to Jax and telling him of her past. Sadness, but also release of feelings she had held inside her for far too long.
Jax telling her his own past, the first pony he had shared it with. Sadness for what he had to go through, but at the same time awe that he bestowed her the honour.
Jax laughing at something she said. Success.
Jax holding her tightly. Secure.
Jax gently stroking her chin. Happiness.
Jax. Happiness.
Jax. Joy.
Jax. Love.
Jax was her happiness.
“… He will die.” A soft whisper, right beside her ear. Everything blurred together, until they stood in a graveyard. In front of her was herself, crying a constant stream of remorse. Her chest felt tight as sadness hit her harder and more violently than ever before. “He will die and become nothing but earth and dust, while you will live on for millennia, without his touch, without his encouragement. His smile will never again cheer you up. His words will never again make you feel special. Without him you will become nothing again. He is the one holding you from the edge, and he will be the one to throw you over….”
Luna gasped, trying desperately to breathe. Tears streamed down from her eyes like blood through her veins. Not in her deepest, darkest, most hopeless hour had she felt so utterly mercilessly miserable. Her legs shook, and soon gave in under her. Jax was gone. Her Jax, her love, her everything was dead, and she was all alone. She felt like she was in an ocean of tears, with no land in sight, struggling just to keep her head above the waves. She tried desperately to breathe, but it was never enough air. Her mouth tasted of salt.
She was going to drown in sorrow.
“Ohh, poor Luna. Don’t despair just yet.” A pair of hooves raised her until she looked at a pair of draconic eyes, framed by black fur. “There is a way.”
“There is?” Her voice was barely anything but a tiny sliver of hope.
“Yes.” It was a kind voice, a motherly love emanating from it. “There are ways to preserve the soul and find a new body for it. It will be easy. Jax can stay by your side… forever.”
Hope… belief. She wanted to believe so much. And that was the chance that Nightmare Moon, the Limelight, had been waiting for. Luna felt a tug on her soul, and everything shook.
Perhaps the Limelight had overestimated her own strength. Perhaps Luna had not believed enough. There was only few things she was certain of. The feeling of despair was gone. She was still in control. And… there was a furious rage boiling in her like no other.
Feeling her chance slip, Nightmare Moon started a desperate fight to switch places with Luna… and terrifyingly enough, it felt like it was working.
“I SHALL NEVER BECOME NIGHTMARE MOON AGAIN!” She screamed as righteous fury spilled over. “I WOULD RATHER ROT ANOTHER THOUSAND YEARS ON THE MOON THAN TO GIVE IN!”