//------------------------------// // When Emojis attack. // Story: Deadpool in Equestria // by MrAquino //------------------------------// Deadpool sat on the public bench in Ponyville park, laughing his ass off at the Emoji movie. No, not the movie with what has the 'best jokes', no, it's more or less the reviews, fromy YouTuber reviewers like Jeremy Jahns and Christ Stuckmann, to Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic, all of which made him laugh hard, due to him, and practically everyone else, knowing the idea was stupid and the movie was going to blow. However, just like how most people went to see the movie ironically on purpose, knowing it's going to be bad, Deadpool began to use Emojis up the ass! Almost on every website, Deadpool began to use every single emoji in rapid speeds, it would probably make both Quicksilver and the Flash feel slow. But, as you can suspect, due to the high speeds of Emoji usage, with the heat literally rising, and a storm arriving, something was going to go wrong. As soon as Deadpool clicked on a 'Meh' Emoji, a single bolt of lightning came down and shocked Deadpool. The surge of electricity, added with the heat coming from him & his phone, and the amount of Emoji usage, it blasted the mercenary away and opened a portal to another universe... To Textopilis. "Look! A new home!" Gene yelled, running in. Before Deadpool could do anything, all of the Emojis ran out of their world into Equestria and began to wreck havoc! ... If you count 'Wrecking Havoc' as annoying everyone around them and simultaneously give foals nightmare inducing faces that would make Tom & Jerry: Willie Wonka & The Chocolate Factory jealous. "Look at me! High Five!" High Five spoke, running to Twilight. "I have hooves!" She replied, turning and walking away. "I'm the princess of this land!" Luna spoke while dressed up inconspicuously "Like you are!" Jailbreak replied. "You're probably one of those Edgy girls that rebel against their status quo." "Look at me!" Gene spoke, dancing to the CMC "Join me!" "APPLEJACK!!!" Applebloom screamed, running away. "RARITY!!!" Sweetie Belle followed. "RAINBOW DASH!!!" Scootaloo added, but was just really running after Rainbow Dash, not affected by the Wal-Mart face voiced by Weasel's actor. "...Time for me to dress up as School Shooter Joker." Deadpool spoke, taking his shirt off, showing off his scared & wrinkly torso putting on a black trenchcoat, before pulling out a boombox and cocking a shotgun. Deadpool walked into town bouncing his head to music. As soon as the beat drop, Deadpool fired away, blasting all of the Anthropomorphic emojis, making yellow puddles on their floor with their limbs twitching and whatever's left of their face/head/body as well. This caused all of the Emojis to scream and run for their lives, though Deadpool laughed manically, shooting every Emoji as he bounced to the music. Isn't this going to be a bit racist? How!? They're F**king Emojis! Well, historically speaking, Emojis were made by Shigetaka Kurita, a technician in Japan who wanted to make text messages not feel so dull by adding faces, and- Wait! We're killing Japaneese people because of their yellow skin!? ... Yes... in a way... but- "YOU HAVE THE WORST ANIME EVER!!!" Deadpool interrupted, shoving a needle in Gene of the Emoji movie in his face, causing him to inflate before exploding into yellow goop. This caused Jailbreak and High Five to scream in terror, though the foals cheered as they saw an Emoji die in front of their faces. He turned to the obvious Wild Style knockoff and pointed at her. "YOU!!! PRINCESS FEMINAZI!!!" He tackled her and opened a portal. "Let's see how you enjoy being in a REAL country without Women's rights! Like the Middle East!!!" He threw her, to which she was immediately shot down. To end off the main cast, He knocked High Five onto his palm/face slowly grabbing each finger and snapping each painfully, exposing the bone with his Emoji blood squirting away. As a way to end it's suffereing, Deadpool stabbed High Five the back of his head through the eyes. "Now for the wasted talent." Deadpool quickly threw a knife at Sir Pooptrick Stewart in the side of his head, making the literal pile of crap dizzy. Very quickly, Deadpool dug a grave near the emoji and kicked him into a coffin, where the coffin fell into the hole, and Wade began to bury him alive. Such a shame we had to kill a character performed by Sir Patrick Stewart. Yeah! He went from a great role in Logan to a really crappy role! "Enough with the poop puns!" Deadpool yelled, grabbing Smiler and impaling her with spear. "This is the closest thing people are going to get to have me kill Hilary Clinton!" He then pulled a detonator out and clicked on a button. Alex sat at school, looking at Allie McCallister... until loud moans came from his phone. The class turned to him with mixes of both disgust and laughter. Embarrassed, the boy pulled his phone out, seeing Emoji porn playing with text saying "Get PornHub now and get the Emoji Movie: Porno parody free!". It didn't take long for him to get expelled, but as soon as he left, a new girl from Minnesota entered, who's name was Riley. It didn't take long for the surviving emojis to run back into Deadpool's cellphone, leaving plenty of blank emoji spots. Deadpool picked up his phone. "Time to delete these bastards." He spoke. The Emojis screamed, begging for forgiveness for their God, even with one saying they're the most important way to communicate. "Oh yeah!? I can talk to people normally! EL DELETO GRANDE!!!" The Emojis screamed before being silenced forever. There was no Emojis on his phone anymore, just 10 more Gigabits of memory available and no button on his messenger to lead to Emojis. With a deep sigh, Deadpool laid on the rotting forpse of an emoji and pulled out a blunt, lighting it before smoking in peace. "Fidget Spinners... you're next." Sony looked at Deadpool through their Spider-Man masks, seeing what Deadpool had done. "... Should we produce the fidget spinner movie?" One of the Employees asked. "Probably, but not right now." Another spoke. "Right now, we need to see how we can do Spider-Man: Prom Night." "Or should we try to finish the Popeye movie?" Another asked. "The sales of the Emoji movie aren't doing well, even with the help of that YouTuber, jacksfilms." "Perhaps we should for some credit." The last one spoke. "Then after that, Hotel Transylvania 3." "FINALLY!!!" Genndy Tartakovsky yelled, pulling himself out of fan and hate mail over how he should make Popeye and that he should've made a better ending to Samurai Jack.