//------------------------------//
// Episode 5: The Competition 
// Story: Last Week Tonight with Discord 
// by FrostTheWolf 
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        Over the course of the last week, Discord’s last two stories on the princesses have been rather fun to work on, interesting to see the reaction on the faces of the ponies watching them and more recently, it’s lead to a rather interesting development on the political side of things. A few days after his last piece on the Dream Realm, a new election was announced in regards to seeing if the Princesses were worthy of keeping their positions in office… with their opponents being a range of ponies with somewhat good qualifications to the somewhat most crazy and obscene. There were eight other ponies who thought that they had the qualifications or means to fit the bill.

        Tonight… he was going to see if they really did meet the criteria. After all, with the fact that he did Celestia and Luna for the last two weeks… why should they steal all the fun? He already had the topic in mind and taking the past few days to get some information on the eight other ponies. So, as the introduction for tonight’s episode began and also the camera and the film studio went live, he was already thinking about an opening statement. “Government… the one thing that keeps everything running, but nopony gives a crap about unless Prince Blue-douche does something stupid again that embarrasses the public.”

        A few laughes went off in order to start the piece as Discord now began to dive into the main topic. “Now, our main story tonight is actually a rather… strange one. Over the course of the last two weeks, Ponies are now calling upon a new election campaign to see who would be a good replacement for Celestia and Luna. And no, this isn’t for one of those ‘in case of emergency’ situations… this is actually happening. Right now, Celestia and Luna are running a campaign in order to keep their positions in office and there are eight other ponies who believe they could meet those qualifications… so tonight, I’d say we put each one of those eight to the test to see if they are really cut out for the job.”

        On the left corner of the screen now showed an eight piece pie wheel with a different cutie mark on each one, symbolizing the candidates as Discord looked back at the audience. “First off, we have Princess Cadence and Shining Armor… who, even though they are know for ruling the Crystal Empire, think they could be able to take care of both the Empire and Equestria at the same time… which would mean that Cadences wings would get a lot of frequent flyers miles.”

        A few more laughes along with an image of Cadence in an aviation outfit really set the tone for the next part. “But if that weren’t unsettling enough… Listen to both of their campaign slogans…”



        “Cadence for Canterlot… Spread the Love!”

        “Shining Armor. Protection needed!”



        The crowd for a moment just looked back at Discord for a moment as he was trying to get his senses in order. “Okay look… First and foremost, ‘Spread the Love’ sounds less like the slogan for a political campaign and more of a secret password used to get into an orgy hosted in the crystal empire… As for Shining Armor, hearing the words ‘Protection needed’ and with his relationship to Cadence, makes his campaign sound more like an line used on a commercial for a… different kind of protection.” More wild laughter erupted from the background as Discord looked back at the camera. “But despite how these slogans are, you also may get a look into each of the candidates policies. Cadence for example wants to spread love and tolerance across Equestria while Shining Armor’s focus is on security. Unknowingly though… the last time a leader focused on security was when King Sombra wanted to protect his empire from invaders and that turned him into a shadowy tyrant.”

        More laughter was echoed throughout the studio as he then had everypony settle down. “Now, before we continue, it is interesting to note that not just one, but five of these candidates are actually from Ponyville. The one town out in the middle of nowhere that you may not hear about until you learn that a freaking princess lives there,” Discord started off, showing an image of Ponyville with Princess Twilight’s castle standing tall in the background… and nopony really paying attention to it at all. “Speaking of that princess, the student of Celestia herself is just one of those five ponies that not only live in ponyville, but also are candidates for this election. And I’m beginning to think she was a bit inspired by one of my previous topics when those who originally there at the date she was announcing this, heard her campaign motto.”



        “Better education for a better tomorrow!”



        A lot of the audience gasped in response to that and even Discord looked surprised himself. “Wow… if she believed that better education would provide a better tomorrow for ponies, why didn’t she have to address the very same idea to Celestia a few weeks prior so that way a mob did not have to show up on Canterlot’s doorstep?” That had the same audience begin to laugh once again in response as he looked back at the camera again. “Oddly enough though, Book butt right here, even though she says that she’s really smart, isn’t entirely smart. Just last week, she lost a friendly game of chess with another candidate as part of a charity event and you are not going to believe who beat her. Watch this.”



        Twilight sat on her seat, rubbing her temples while sweating hard at a chess board. Her opponent looked calm, even if she was a grey pegasus with a blonde mane & tail and wall eyes. The princess simply moved her queen to the far left side. Her opponent simply knocked the queen down with a rook.

        “Checkmate!” It was then that the camera actually got a better look at her opponent, who’s eyes were in two completely different places at that moment.



        Discord’s response to it… was rather shocking. “Holy s*yay*! The same princess who was able to stand on her own four hooves against Tirek lost a chess match against the mailmare, Derpy Hooves! … Speaking of which, this is her campaign quote.”



        “It's okay to make mistakes.”



        “Better take notes, Ms. Sparkle. Your mistake is underestimating how she can whoop your flank at a game of chess. And for a mailmare, she's got quite the noggin to beat Celestia’s apprentice in a game of chess. But, she's not the only local from Ponyville that's running. We also got, pretty much the only real politician, Mayor Mare.” Discord said, showing a picture of Twilight Sparkle with Mayor Mare. 

        “According to public records, she has been in office even before the Elements of Harmony or Princess Sparkle were even born yet. And her focus for the campaign is central around trying to help everypony, no matter who they are or what they are known for. Which is a bit ominous… given the fact that when she means everypony, she literally means everypony. Including these guys…” 

        The screen cut to a couple of royal guards in the night, giggling and shushing each other. They entered Celestia’s room, where the princess snored away. One of them pulled some whip cream out and sprayed in on the other's hoof. 

        “Smack cam!” The slapper spoke before slapping Celestia across the face. She snorted loudly before her horn glowed.

        “CHANGELINGS!!!” She shouted before blasting away wildly, leaving several holes in the walls, ceiling, and floor. 

        As the clip ended, Discord just couldn’t hold in his laughter… “I… honestly can’t believe that an elected official of her experience would do something that a filly would do as a prank for fun. It’s like if your parents think that the best way to have fun with their kids when they get older is to hide a fake spider on their bed and record their terrified reaction when they wake up in the morning. Even though your kids remember you doing it five times already… And it seems Cae Cae still isn't easy around changelings.” The screen showed Celestia wearing a pointed hat with only her eyes showing.

        Which, only got a few subtle laughs before the screen changed. “Now, We have already discussed the good… but unfortunately, we need to get into both the bad and the ugly. Our last three candidates all have one thing in common besides being acknowledged for who they are. Money. You know, the one thing that everypony thinks they’re good at despite every episode of the Suzy Savings show.”



        A clip from a particular show on CEBC showed a blond haired mare with light blue fur and fancy clothes then came on the air with the segment on the background being ‘Can I afford it’? “Suri, you’re on the Suzy Savings show, what do you want to buy?”

        “Hi Suzy, I would like to buy a new state of the art carriage in order to go on travel to promote my new business.” She labeled out her finances and the amount of money she made, before getting the response that she did not want to hear.

        “I’m sorry Suri, but you’ve been denied.” The next few callers had some rather strange responses as it even got to the point where one clip was of a young filly asking for this.

        “Helly, Ms. Suzy. I would like to buy myself a complete guide to being a breezie spotter. That way, I can get myself to be a certified Breezie spotter.”

        Two minutes later… “I’m sorry, Ms Apple Bloom, but you’ve been denied.”



        “Yeah… because nopony needs to spend almost 45 bits in order to get a manual on how to be an breezie spotter. In fact, if you contact us right now, our staff members will send you a free breezie spotting certification so you don’t need to do that! Now go spot some breezie’s kids!” Discord declared as the whole crowd went crazy for a few moments before things began to die down. “Now, the reason why I bring this up is because from this side of the aisle, we have a prince who’s personally in denial about actually being adopted, a business stallion who wants to help bring Equestria’s economy back… and then his wife, who acts like a baby rhino who thinks that she could get everything she wants. Even her campaign slogan symbolizes that.”



        “BUY ME MORE JEWELRY!!!”



        “Wow…… She literally looks like somepony trying to get what they want from their husband by setting their baby on fire.” Discord’s comment left the entire audience in an uproar as he looked back at the camera. “For both the riches here, but primarily Spoiled, they have made a bunch of claims that when checked by local analysts, they found that over 70 percent of their statements were varying degrees of false. These include claims that their daughter's strange behavior was because of a group of blank flanks when Diamond Tiara was trying to be nice with her classmates, the fact that she denies insulting Candidate Derpy Hooves for her eyes, even though there was evidence reporting so and even going as far as to make claims like these.”

        The next clip that played was showing a one on one interview with another reporter and Spoiled Rich making a very bold claim. One in which was to the extent of ‘I’m rich, therefore I’m not a liar’. Which… was wildly strange and also very unsettling with not just the audience, but also Discord. “Okay… ‘I’m rich, therefore I’m not a liar’ has the same internal logic as ‘I’m a baker, therefore I know Kung Fu’.” More laughter and applause went off along with the image of Pinkie Pie in a karate outfit and a white headband on while in ‘The Crane’ position and balancing a cupcake on her nose, two more on her forehooves and one final one on the back leg that she had up in the air. “There’s no cause and effect between those two, the correlation goes the other way in most cases… and if you actually do mean what you say, where is the evidence of that?” Cricket noises… “My thoughts exactly. As for Blueballs, his campaign slogan will… trigger some folks.”



        “What we need is a stallion’s touch.”



        Some sounds of a few grossed out patrons in the audience soon spoke up before Discord decided to respond. “... Ok, first off, is Blueblood even a stallion? Last time I checked, he was crying as he wrote in his diary.” Laughter broke as it showed Blueblood crying while writing in a pink diary.

        “Secondly, if you look deeply at his history, this prince is nowhere fit for politics. He’s treated mares as living shields to protect himself in food fights, is more focused on his own personal status than helping others and we caught this piece of audio from him when somepony asked him how exactly were they going to handle a possible shortage of food for commoners.”

        That was when the audio clip played. “Let them eat cake…” And that… caught a lot of ponies attention. “Woah… not only is that highly offensive to those who could even afford that, it’s shows how irresponsible he is. In fact, looking back on his history, one of his ancestors said that same phrase during the bloody prench revolution and they ended up with getting their head on a pike… which of course, sounds like an event from a series of books that involve a game with thrones other than musical chairs, but that’s beside the point.”

        The last graphic shown was of several ponies with swords chasing a noble around a throne while music was echoing in the background, with the noble in particular looking like a common ancestor of Blueblood, but had a large, bushy beard.

        “So… after everything we’ve seen, we can tell already that this is going to be a huge clusterf*yay* of a mess for this election. Heck, the class president elections at Ponyville’s school were actually easier than this and guess who won that?” It showed the image of a tiny unicorn standing next to her mother… Derpy Hooves. “That’s right! Derpy’s own daughter actually beat the competition by a landslide! Wonder if it's a tactic she learned by her mom?”

        The screen now showed a new clip of Derpy Hooves holding a rally. Promising that if they vote for her, they would get free muffins, lemonade, no mandatory dress codes and extended class recess… which only lead to one of the kids shouting ‘This is an election for next Princess, not schoolyard president!!’. 

        As for Discord… well… “O… kay, maybe it’s Dinky trying to teach her mom? Still, with things already getting rather heated this early in the race, it’s wise to be careful here… but it’s ironic coming from me, who threw caution into the wind a long time ago… literally.” The next graphic that came up was of the draconequus throwing away a box labeled ‘caution’ as it got pulled into a hurricane. “But that makes me wonder… what the heck was Filthy Rich’s slogan again? I don’t think we covered it.” The image was Filthy rich, but with an orange coat and his mane & tail was yellow while also looking fake.

        Which… made Discord be even more shocked. “Oh come on… That looks less like an image for a campaign slogan and more of a failed backup dancer at an adult club. ‘I’m sorry, Gold Daddy, but we have all the dancers we need tonight and you aren’t actually who you say you are. Please wash up, put on your shirt and leave the building’.” The image coinciding with that was of the same pony being asked to leave a club and was looking rather upset about it… or whatever his expression was..

        “So to recap on who we have running for office other than Cae Cae and Woona running for re-election, we have a husband and wife who’s slogans have sexual innuendo’s tied into them unknowingly, a princess who’s focused on education even though all of her brainpower could not help her win at chess, the pegasus that beat the princess at chess, a mayor who see’s pranks as her way of having fun, two rich ponies that contradict everything they say and a sexist douche of an adopted prince…… That’s a lot to take in.” He said, looking back at the camera as he took in a deep breath and prepared himself for what he was going to say next. 

        “But in terms of experience, other than Mayor Mare, Celestia, Luna and Cadence… none of these other candidates have any real political experience. Sure, Princess Bookbutt has been to Friendship summit and met with delegates from other cities… but has she actually passed any laws or participated in Day Court?” Silence… followed by a few chirps from a nearby bird as Discord spoke up. “I think that part pretty much answers itself. The same could be said for some of the other candidates too. Derpy Hooves herself only knows a little bit of knowledge on the subject, but has been doing a HELL of a lot better than some of the runner ups. I mean, look at the popularity ratings on her compared to some of Ponyville's other candidates.”

        There was now a clip of a list of the popularity ratings amongst the ponies who were in Ponyville. Compared to some of the other candidates, Twilight Sparkle was actually in second place with 44 percent of the vote, Mayor Mare with 32 percent, Filthy Rich was at 18 percent… while Spoiled Rich only had 1 percent of the vote. The first place runner… Derpy Hooves. 49.99 Percent of the vote. “Holy crap!! Even I could not have believed something like this would happen. It’s like an underdog hoofball team beat a three time national championship team in a shutout! But unlike other candidates… who aren’t minding the popularity polls… the mare who’s dead last has something else to say.”



        “How many of those votes were legal, hunh!? I want a recount of the votes! There’s fraud in this system! FRAUD!!”



        The crowd chuckled a bit, just as the clip ended and Discord was back to his normal self. “Wow… and just when I thought that lying about telling the truth because she was rich was one thing… But the ponies at the polls did a recount and guess what? Nothing changed!!” A lot of the audience gasped in response before Discord continued speaking. “She can’t admit that she wasn’t telling the truth, even if the evidence is right there. Like if a colt or filly said they didn’t steal anything from the cookie jar, only to see the crumbs all over their face and on the floor!” The corresponding image of the example that Discord explained had the whole audience in a riot.

        “Now… this is important because coming soon, we will be deciding how do we go from here… and if we choose wrongly… we’re most definitely going to be screwed for the longest of time.” He pointed out, before then speaking up. “So I would like to make a suggestion before we all go to the polls. We should host an event where we can all be able to ask questions to the candidates that we feel are of utmost importance and allow for them to respond on the issue. Now, something like this would require a LOT of preparation, but I believe that to make things fair, we should have a panel for those who would be asking the questions from the audience. And you may think… ‘Well, Discord. Who would be the most qualified and honest for a debate like this?’” With that, a new image of three silhouettes soon appeared as the crowd got excited. “And to this, I say that I already have a few ponies, and other creatures, in mind. Those who can determine fact from fiction… Those who can sense real love in the statements some ponies say… and those who aren’t afraid to say it like it is. So stay tuned… because this is going to be awesome.”



Three days later…

        In a crowded Canterlot town hall, everypony that was inside was gathering for the Princess Representative Election Panel, or what some ponies called a ‘PREP’ event. It was a gathering of all the electoral candidates for the upcoming election and letting them answer questions that the voters may have while also allowing those same voters to decide who they would want to vote for during the election. From the left side of the stage to the right was Princess Celestia, her sister Luna, Princess Cadence, Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, Derpy Hooves, Mayor Mare, Filthy Rich, Spoiled Rich and lastly, Prince Blueblood (who was questioning why he was on the opposite side of the stage and away from that of Celestia and the others).

        All the candidates though, were rather caught off guard when they looked over to the panel moderator’s table in the middle of the room and saw three individuals sitting down. Each one of them was somepony that they either heard of before or knew to a certain extent. While also seeing Discord not that far off in a suit and tie.

        “Discord, why did you have to go out of your way to choose a very specific selection of ponies to be running this debate?” Celestia then asked, curious to know his reasons for the draconequus’ choice in moderators.

        “Well, everypony in the audience, and also equestria for that matter, would like to hear from the candidates, but also want to hear the truth…” The draconequus spoke up, looking back at the candidates before going to the first of three moderators. “First, we have the Element of Honesty, Applejack. Second, the King of the Changelings, Thorax. And lastly, we have Gabby, the griffon who isn’t afraid to dream or say what comes to her mind.”

        The audience clapped their hooves, claws and paws together in response to seeing the judges as they were given a warm welcome. All the while Spoiled Rich herself rolled her eyes in response to what was going on.

        “I sense disgust coming from her.” Thorax spoke, pointing at Spoiled Rich.

        “Ooh! Conflicting emotions and we haven’t even begun asking questions yet! This is so exciting!!” Discord spoke up. “And with that… I will leave this in the care of the moderators… Begin asking questions whenever you are ready.”

        “Why thank you,” Applejack replied back to Discord, before focusing on the candidates in question and also the note cards containing some of the questions that needed to be asked. “Now… to begin with the questions, we all know how Equestria is going through some recent changes. Some being rather small, while others… not so much. If you were chosen to lead, what would you do to make Equestria a better place for everypony that lives here.”

        “Oh, that's easy,” Twilight began with a wave of her hoof. “Seeing that your little sister is enrolled into some new programs, I want everypony to have the best education WITHOUT the high prices most schools demand.

        “So you want to make it cheaper for ponies to go to school?” Gabby then asked. “Have you thought of how you would want to do that?”

        “Uh… n-not really. I haven't really done any… princess-y thing… yet.”

        “We’re not judging ya, Twi. You’re still new to these things,” AJ then said before turning her head for a moment. “Thorax, do you have anything you would like to add?”

        “Will it include other races? Some of my subjects want to learn more about Equestria without having to sneak around to do so.”

        “Oh, well of course, Thorax!” Twilight replied “Perhaps you can also share your kind’s history?”

        “For another time, yes,” The changeling spoke up. “For now though, I think we should hear from some of the other candidates.”

        “Quite adorable of you, Twilight,” Derpy spoke with some sass in her tone. “But is cheaper education going to work when I, a ‘simple minded’ mailmare can beat you in numerous games of chess in a row?” 

        That… lead to a surprised moment to where Twilight was personally embarrassed by it for a second before looking back at her. “Do you mean in terms of learning subjects such as math, equish, science, and history like what most fillies and colts are learning in schools?”

        “If I may interject for just a moment,” Gabby then spoke up. “I believe we are going a little off topic on the subject. So… Miss Derpy… what do you think is important to making Equestria a better place?”

        “Advance our education and take risks that Celestia and Luna weren't able to do. Too long are we reliant on them to move the sun and moon, becoming gods to us ‘peons’, but I have something that they will fear.” She pulled out some blueprints, showing a large  machine. “With this device, I will make sure our planet goes back to it's original orbit and circle around the sun, with the moon, circling ours, as it should be-”

        “Hold on there, just a moment partner…” Applejack spoke up. “You believe in advancing education, but not making it affordable for those ponies to take part in it? What if some of the ponies who would be able to build that machine of yours don’t exactly know how because they couldn’t afford the advance education required to understand that.”

        “My fellow proctor brings up a valid point.” Thorax added.

        “I believe in freedom for all by my advanced machine that will free us from our false gods.” Derpy replied sternly

        “O…… kay… So are you trying to say Discord is a false god?”

        “I’m RIGHT here!!” The draconequus shouted from the back of the room.

        “He’s the necessary evil we need, both for common sense, and to power my device-.” However, just as she was saying that, the pegasus happened to noticed somepony serving snacks to the members in the audience… only to be leaving with a muffin that was still intact. “MINE!!!”

        Instantly, the pegasus bolted after the stallion, which soon lead to her chasing the panicking pony all around Canterlot. And to Gabby speaking up. “O…… kay, perhaps we should let some of the other candidates speak. Princess Cadence, would you like to answer the question on how you believe you would make Equestria a better place?”

        “Well, I believe that love and tolerance of those from all across equestria can help mend relationships diplomatically and also keep the peace. It’s worked for my husband and I, along with all the ponies in the Crystal Empire and I believe the same philosophy can work elsewhere.”

        “I can agree with that.” Thorax added on the side. “Shining, do you have anything to add onto this?”

        “Well, I believe in what Cadence says completely. But I also believe that it’s important to keep Equestria’s citizens safe from anything that might cause it harm. Whether it’s something breaking out of Tartarus or invaders from a foreign land.” The Unicorn added on proudly.

        “Hunh… Funny ya mentioned that, because ah heard that when Tirek attacked Canterlot several years ago, the royal guard and you as well didn’t stand up so well,” Applejack chuckled for a moment, causing Shining to drop his head down in embarrassment. “Also, on that note… there’s a question that ah would like to ask both you and your wife if she doesn’t mind.”

        “Of course not.” Cadence replied. “What’s your question?”

        “Well, according to some sources,… there has been a bit of controversy around your campaign… more specifically, the slogans that both of you chose for them,” Applejack replied, pulling out a piece of paper that contained a list. “There have been claims that the slogans for your campaigns have been deemed as ‘inappropriate’, ‘immature’ and ‘sexually provocative’ … do you have any response to that?”

        “How so?” They both asked in unison.

        “Well… listen to this statement that brought out the concerns in the first place,” Applejack stated, hitting what looked like a ‘PLAY’ button on an audio recording that soon had a clip on there… which was actually something from her sister earlier that week.

        “Applejack, what does ‘Spread the love’ mean? Is it something that involves where foals come from? Because Granny keeps on telling me that she’ll tell me when ah’m older and so does Big Mac.”

        “Apple Bloom, where did ya hear something like that?”

        “Ms. Cheerilee and everypony in class were talking about the election for Princess coming up and also discussing some of the slogans. Including Shining Armor’s slogan, Protection Needed! But when ah asked Big Mac about what did it really mean, he just told me the same response Granny did.”

        That, caused a blush to appear on Cadence’s face that was extremely bright red and also caused Shining Armor’s eyes to widen a little in response to the recording. She couldn’t even formulate a proper response to that and just said two words. “Oh… my…”

        “Uh… start somewhere… I guess?” Shining added with an awkward smile, which lead to Cadence bumping him with a hoof and Twilight facehoofing herself.

        “He approves porn!” Blueblood shouted. “Vote for me and I won't let a dirty minded guard run this country!”

        “What Shining said and what your claims state aren’t the same,” Thorax point out, glaring at him now. “You only speak ill of others to superior to them. But are you really?”

        “My apologies for him… He’s adopted.” Cadence stated, which, only lead to a loud gasp from the rest of the audience… and for one pony in the background to shout the following.

        “RUMOR CONFIRMED!!!” That didn’t help any for Blueblood’s self esteem as he just closed his eyes, drooped his head down and decided not to speak. Shortly before Gabby started slamming a gavel on the table.

        “Order. Order in the panel!” Shortly after that, the audience went silent as the griffon put the small tiny hammer away. “Okay, now that we have calmed ourselves down, I believe we should ask some of the other candidates. I would think that Mayor Mare would be a good start.”

        “Ah second that notion,” Applejack then agreed with the Griffon.

        “If I were to become princess,” Mayor Mare began “I would work tirelessly to provide more jobs for better competition, and productivity, in lower class regions as Detrot.” A few other ponies in the crowd murmured amongst themselves, liking the idea and giving it some positive thought.

        “What about equal opportunities for low income families? Do you also believe in that too?” Gabby then asked. “A lot of families back in my home country of Griffonstone don’t exactly get the same kinds of opportunities you would find here in Equestria because of competition amongst the working class.”

        “Why I absolutely believe in that. Everypony should have the same and equal opportunities in anything, whether it’s jobs or education, and not be singled out because of who they are or what they can do.” Mayor Mare replied, which got a LOT of positive praise from some of the attendee’s in the audience as they were cheering in support.

        “She means true to her words.” Thorax then added.

        “Oh PUH-lease!” Spoiled Rich began “As much as you want that to happen, you don't know a single thing about business like my husband and I know. We can easily do that while showing great love to our country and it's citizens.”

        “I feel no love from her.” Thorax mentioned.

        “Uh… It's probably the stress from my wife,” Filthy Rich spoke. “What, with the preparations and whatnot.”

        “Well, preparations are one thing, but following through is another,” Gabby then said. “Say, I have a question for the Riches as well as Princess Cadence and Shining Armor, if you don’t mind me asking it.”

        “Why not at all dear.” Cadence replied. “What’s on your mind?”

        “Well, I was just a bit surprised to hear that all of you are running your own separate campaigns, even though you’re married to each other. I mean, I honestly would think that two heads are better than one, especially when it comes to the standpoint of managing your campaign.” The griffon added.

        “Well, I would think that we have agreements on a lot of things, but have different thoughts on when it comes to what the campaign should primarily focus on. Hence, why certain aspects of the campaign are different, like the slogans and advertising.” Filthy Rich explained as he looked at the panel moderators. “From a business standpoint, you need to use something unique in order to get everypony’s attention on something they could agree with. Yet, it can also backfire if things don’t go well. Kind of a risk/reward scenario.”

        All Applejack did was raise an eyebrow at that as she looked at Gabby and Thorax. “Uh… Ah apologize for interrupting ya, Mr. Rich, but could you clarify on what you mean by your last statement.” However, Filthy Rich was a little bit… troubled with trying to find a way to be discreet about what he meant.

        But before he could say anything, Shining then spoke up. “I think what Mr. Rich is referring to is some of the statements that Ms. Rich made when she was being interviewed and at some public events…” That was when he had an idea and turned to the draconequus that was sitting not that far from the moderator’s table. “Say, didn’t you reflect on something like this earlier in the week Discord?”

        “Why I believe I did…” He mentioned, looking back at him. “In fact, I have this.” From his paw, he had a new cassette tape to place into the tape player that Applejack was using earlier in order to play some of the audio on it. Including his comments on this statement.

        “I’m Rich, I’m not a liar… I love everypony…”

        “Okay… ‘I’m rich, therefore I’m not a liar’ has the same internal logic as ‘I’m a baker, therefore I know Kung Fu’. There’s no cause and effect between those two, the correlation goes the other way in most cases… and if you actually do mean what you say, where is the evidence of that?” Again, this was followed by some crickets and Discord saying ‘my thoughts exactly’.

        That… was also added on by another statement from Thorax. “I still feel no love from her… and that was from some time ago.” Spoiled Rich glared at him. “Now I feel plenty of anger and hatred.”

        “Uhm… Discord,” Applejack asked, looking back at the draconequus and whispering to him. “Why did you have Thorax be a moderator?”

        “To see if their emotions are in sync with their statements. They may tell the truth with their words, but if Thorax feels different emotions, it’ll be something that would not fit with that candidate. It’s a way to further verify if they’re truthful.” Applejack thought it over inside her head for a minute, before nodding and turning back to the group.

        “Perhaps we should now direct a question to the two ponies who we haven’t asked any questions to so far,” Gabby now spoke up. “Celestia, Luna, what are your thoughts on how Equestria should move forward?”

        Luna began to sweat a bit, unsure as what to say next.

        “Sister,” she began. “What do we say? Our competitors are whooping out flanks here!”

        “Relax, sister,” Celestia replied. “If there’s one thing we do know, it’s that our subjects love a good musical number.”

        “... You don’t suppose-?”

        “I do. And I apologize for what I’m about to say.”

        “Same here.”

        “So, what about ya’ll, yer highnesses?” Applejack asked. Celestia cleared her throat and conjured up a map of Equestria, right before quickly drawing a doodle of Luna with stink lines and written above her ‘Stoopid’;

This kingdom’s your land, this kingdom’s my land
I'm a fearsome tiger, you’re a pacifist weiner
I'm a great crusader, you’re a nighttime monster
This land will surely vote for me

        Luna scoffed and cleared her throat, taking the stage.

This kingdom’s your land, this kingdom’s my land
I'm an intellectual, you're a stupid dumbass
I'm a child heart winner, and yes it's true, I won it twice.
This land will surely vote for me

You have more waffles than a house of pancakes
You offer flip flops, I offer tax breaks
You're a cowardly pussy, and yes it's true that I kick ass
This land will surely vote for me

You can't say Solar Flare, that really scares me
Sometimes a brain can... Come in quite handy
But it's not gonna help you, because I won the children’s hearts
This land will surely vote for me

You're the biggest sissy
You're a right wing nut job
You're a blue coat comey
You’re as dumb as a doorknob
Hey! You got that Botox
But I still won the children’s hearts

        This land will surely vote for me

        “This land was my land.” A random Buffalo spoke

        “But now it's our land!” All the ponies on stage spoke 

        “From Canterlot.” Blueblood spoke

        “To the Local towns.” Filthy Rich spoke before being slapped by his wife. “What'd I do??”

From the pacifist weiners
To the right wing nut jobs
This kingdom belongs
This kingdom belongs

This kingdom belongs to you and me!

        “Oh, and non-equines too!” Celestia added. Just before everypony gave her a deep round of applause and they began to wrap up the town hall.

        “HEY! Why don’t I get the chance to say anything!?” Blueblood complained.

        “You already said enough!!!” Several ponies in the crowd that was leaving shouted at him in response.



        “Well… that was something…” Discord said as the chaos that was the panel for Election soon wrapped up. He was right now walking with Thorax, Gabby and Applejack as they were going to the center of town. “I honestly never expected Lulu and Cae Cae in order to go full on musical at the end.”

        “Neither did I.” Applejack replied, looking back at the Draconequus. “Celestia sounded a bit like me during that song… if she doesn't win, I can consider her workin’ at the farm.”

        “And I’m sure many of the younger griffins would love Luna to be around.” Gabby added

        “And my Changelings.” Thorax finished.

        “What about Celestia?” Discord asked out of curiosity.

        “Well, I’m still new to the running a kingdom, so I can have her as a mentor.”

        “And I heard Gilda needs some help with her bakery.” Gabby chirped. “Celestia can help with the baking.”

        “I think she would be the one doing more of the eating than the actual baking… unless you’re hiring her as a taste tester,” The Draconequus chuckled. “Still, what were your thoughts on some of the other candidates. You guys did well with asking them the questions, so what do you think about them?”

        “Ah think we all agree that neither Blueblood or Spoiled Rich are any good, right?” Applejack asked. To which, Discord nodded his head in agreement

        “Definitely.” The two others added.

        “What about Princess Cadence, Shining Armor and Twilight?” Discord asked. “They seemed… okay until you asked them about the slogans and Blueblood blurted out a few moments later.”

        “Twilight’s heart seems to be in the right place, but she certainly didn’t know how to make it work,” Thorax answered. “... And I think she still looks down at my kind.”

        “Though similar to Filthy Rich & Spoiled Rich, it seemed both Cadance and Shining Armor were running at the same time, not minding who would lose, just that either of them won.” Gabby added. “But, at least they weren’t as rude as some of the others.”

        “True… Hey, if it comes down to the possibility that some of the candidates would have a running mate with them, do you think Shining Armor would be Cadences depending on how things go?” Discord asked, the idea fresh in his mind even though some of the others were a bit confused. “Like if you were electing for class president or something, you would have a vice president to help run and organize events.”

        “I can see that already with Celestia and Luna.” Thorax replied.

        “Yeah, but that just leaves Mayor Mare, Twilight, Blueblood, and Derpy as the solo ones… unless ya’ll think they should draw from a hat to see who’s going to be who’s partner.” Applejack spoke.

        “They could bring on somebody else,” Gabby added. “Doesn’t Twilight have that one person… Spike, I think Apple Bloom said, that lives with her? Mayor Mare could work with Derpy, and Blueblood…… I rather not think about who he would want to work with.”

        “This mirror?” Discord jokingly suggested, holding a small, personal sized mirror.

        “Pfft… That would be only if he actually makes it.” Applejack replied, now realizing something. “So… when are the results for the election suppose to come in. Everypony goes to the polls tomorrow so how long would it take to process the vote count?”

        “I guess about a week?” Gabby thought. “Unless…”



        Derpy flicked the switch to her latest machine. 

        “This device will be able to count all the votes rapidly and put them in their own piles. And, as fairness, you can check it for yourself, as I didn’t rig it to my favor… because I know I’ve already won.” She had a smug like smile as everypony submitted their own vote. 

        “You say that now…” Discord sighed, rolling his eyes inside his head before seeing Derpy chase off after another muffin mare.

        “MY PRECIOUS!!!” 

        “WHY DO I DO THIS!?!?!?” The Muffin Mare screamed. Both Celestia and Luna stood on the sidelines, both of them sweating a bit anxiously. 

        “What do we do when we fail, sister?” Luna asked. “I can’t be the princess of the night if I can’t watch over my subjects!”

        “I… We’ll need to find jobs, sister.” Celestia replied, pulling out an application to the apple farm. “Hopefully, my country-isms haven’t worn out since my time in the castle.”

        “Celestia, I don’t think that’s actually a thing nowadays.”

        “Says you! I’m at least planning ahead for a job instead of freaking out over the loss of princesshood.” Celestia replied.

        “There could be the possibility that we may actually win, but right now, I’m unsure if that’s likely.” Luna sighed, just as she noticed onepony going up in order to whisper something to Discord for a moment. Before nodding his head for a moment and beginning to patiently wait. It took a few hours before the voting process was complete, but afterwards, the results were handed to Discord as he cleared up his throat.

        “Okay… Before we begin telling you the results, I must inform you about something.” Discord replied, which soon had everypony’s attention. “It has been brought to my attention that one of the candidates earlier last evening was caught by the royal guard trying to bribe election officials to tamper the voting process… Therefore, one of our candidates has been disqualified.”

        A lot of ponies gasped and the two royal sisters exchanged glances at one another. All the while Spoiled Rich looked rather… confident. Even though what was said next soon threw everyone off guard. “Spoiled Rich, you have been disqualified. Guards, please escort her out of the room-”

        “THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!” Spoiled Rich screamed while the guards were pulling her out of the room. All while she was kicking and screaming some more. “I was the one who was suppose to win!! HOW DARE YOU TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME!!” Not before long though, she was out of the room as Discord soon cleared his throat.

        “Anyways… We all know how the electoral process works. We have it broken down between the Popular Vote… and the Actual Vote. Now, we’ll start by reading the results of the popular vote with our top three.” The draconequus spoke up. “In third place, we had Princess Celestia with 15 percent of the popular vote, Mayor Mare with 23 percent of the vote in second place… and lastly in first place, we have…… Ms Derpy Hooves with 35 Percent.”

        That lead to the same pegasus mare running back over… thinking that she won the whole thing. “I won? …… I WON!! TAKE THAT YOU FALSE IMMORTAL ALICORN GODS-”

        “Ms. Hooves,” Discord spoke up. “That was the results of the popular vote, not the actual vote. We have yet to go over those results.” That had gotten the pegasi’s hopes up too soon… until she saw another muffin for her to chase as she left a few moments later.

        “Okay… Now for the actual vote…” The draconequus spoke up as he looked back at the results sheet… before blinking several times and even going as far as double checking with one of the officials of the whole election on the results before actually speaking. “The winners of this years Princess Representative Election are…”