//------------------------------// // Pot Head // Story: The Vampire Protection Program // by InkHeartBrony //------------------------------// Almost a week had passed since that incident. The incident that I couldn't get off my mind. Fluttershy had become something I never imagined, she became a bat pony. Not something you wanted to mess with. Some ponies got bat ponies and vampire ponies mixed up. Bat ponies were just regular ponies really, with scary yellow eyes and bat wings, totally normal. But they definitely didn't have a craving for blood- oh, no. If they did drink blood, why would Princess Luna have them as guards? Vampire ponies have significant differences, they will, with no hesitance, drain you of your blood, and stare at you with those glowing red eyes. But what disturbed me was this, Fluttershy hadn't become a true bat pony, and she hadn't become a true vampire. She seemed to be a mixture of both. That's just what I couldn't figure out. Why I couldn't get it off my mind. It was a spell mishap, that's what I assumed. Just a spell gone horribly wrong sort of thing. But something felt off, but I couldn't figure out what. Being one of the many hunters, I had a job, and right now my job was to figure out what was going on here. What that spell had truly done to her, why, and really dig deep into the science of it all. It wouldn't be a problem anymore since the spell was removed from her, of course. But curiosity was basically scraping my neck with it's teeth. I couldn't escape that curiosity, and I couldn't really bash it on the head with garlic to make it shut up. I just needed to ignore it, I told myself. I needed to shove my face back in this book, and ignore my thoughts. Wait, what am I reading, anyway? I just grabbed a book at random and tried to distract myself, but it didn't seem to be working. I flipped it over and read the cover. Fifty Shades of Neigh Bleh, I can't read this! I mean, I've already read it four times! (and don't ask why) I threw the dumb book on the floor of my room. I looked up at my clock, listening for a moment at the ticking. The constant, constant, ticking until it drove me mad. "Uuugh!" I groaned, and rolled over a little too far. I crashed face first on the ground with a thump, taking the bed sheets with me. I stood up and rubbed my head, removing myself from the crumpled blue, star patterned sheets and throwing them back onto my bed with frustration. That's when I heard it. The frantic, scared, loud banging on my front door. I teleported downstairs and approached my door, opening it, and finding nothing. Nothing but the darkness outside and a slight chill. "Raah!" somepony yelled and slammed their body into mine, pinning me to the ground. I was about ready to sock this pony in the face, until I saw who it was. Somepony familiar, with a grin on her face, fangs that hung from their mouth and wings wide open in a terrifying matter. "Rainbow Dash!" I said, pushing her off of me. Rainbow fell onto the ground, holding her chest and kicking her hind legs up in the air as she laughed so hard tears came to her eyes. "Oh! Oh! You should see the look on your face!" she laughed wildly, uncontrollably, to the point where she made me crack a smile. Rainbow popped the plastic fangs from her mouth and threw them on the ground. She wiped a tear from her eye and looked at my sour but amused expression. "Rainbow." I said, "it's the middle of the night! What are you doing?" That's when another body crashed into me, but this time from up above. I groaned, feeling the large fluffy pink mane brush against my leg. Pinkie Pie giggled and said, "Roar!" in a not at all terrifying way. Rainbow put a hoof to her mouth and tried to contain her laughter. Pinkie giggled and hopped off of me. I stood up, looking at Pinkie who growled at me, with a plastic wolf nose on her muzzle and a gray wolf tail over her regular tail, which indeed, looked strange. "Roar! Twilight, I'm big and scary, and will nom nom you!" she said, not very big or scarily. Rainbow chuckled, "Pinkie you came in too late! You were supposed to come in right after I tackled Twi!" I groaned again, putting my hoof to my forehead. But my eyes shot wide open, when I heard a howl somewhere in the midst of town. "Woah." Rainbow said, looking in the direction of the sound. "Timberwolves?" she asked. I gulped, and played along with that. "Y-yeah." I said, "Get inside." "Aaaw!" Pinkie pouted, "I wanna play with the puppy!" I rolled my eyes, and pushed her through my open door. Rainbow followed close behind and shut the door behind us. "That sounded pretty close." she said. "Yeah. It wouldn't be good if they were in Ponyville for some reason..." I looked down. I knew for a fact that that howl did not belong to a timber wolf. It sounded much too close, and timber wolves rarely left the forest. "Well then we'll go out and defeat the beast!" Rainbow said proudly, putting one hoof on her chest and raising her head high. "Um, no." I said, raising an eyebrow at her. "Let's just stay here, and have a calm-" "We can have a sleepover! With games, and candy, and dress up, and stories, and marshmallows, and a fire!" "That sounds more like camping." Rainbow rubbed her chin. "Yeeeaaaaahhh? But we can still make a nice warm fire!" "Pinkie." I said. "Yeeeeesss?" "I live in a tree." "Oh. Right." she said sadly, as if that was a surprise. But that cheerfulness immediately returned, "but you do have marshmallows, right?" she beamed. I sighed. "Yes." Soon we sat in my room, with the guest bed across from mine. Pinkie and Rainbow sat atop it, happily munching away on marshmallows, rock candy, and an assortment of chocolates. A took one bone crunching bite on my carrot. "How are you still awake?" I asked, staring at them. Pinkie looked at me, her blue eyes wide to the point where it was creepy. "I never sleep." she said coldly. Then burst into a storm of giggles. "Y-yeah." Rainbow pointed, her baggy eyes barely open. "That's-" she yawned, "-pretty funny." Her eyes roll back in her head and she fell backwards and immediately began to snore. "Haha!" Pinkie laughed, "I'm nowhere near tired!" then she fell down in the same way Rainbow had. Their two sleeping bodies sprawled out, taking up as much room as possible. "Alright." I whispered, "It's bed time. Meaning, for me, it's hunting time." Although I had my two friends here, I still had my duties. Rent was going to creep up on me soon enough. That was worse than any night creature. Aaah! The horror, the horror! My magical pink aura was wrapped around my black saddlebag underneath my bed, and I placed it comfortingly on my back. I trotted down the steps of my home and made my way to the door, then I froze. Somepony had left the door open. I mentally yelled Rainbow Dash! Behind me I heard a sudden clatter of something metal falling to the ground. It had come from my kitchen. I turned around, and slowly walked to my kitchen, hearing growling, huffing (and probably puffing). I peaked through the entrance, and my eyes widened. It appears I have a third guest. A wolf, larger than any pony has ever seen, appeared to be trying to cook. Their furry light gray face was sniffing the inside of a pot left on the stove. Their long fluffy tail flicked side to side. Near their paws was a colander that had clattered to the floor. And on their feet were long sharp black claws. Slowly I took out my silver blade from my bag. Slowly I crept towards the monster. Slowly it looked at me, and quickly it attempted to attack. It flung it's head at me, doing an intimidating growl. But it wasn't that intimidating with a metal pot stuck to it's face. It whipped it's head around trying to shake it off with no luck, it backed itself up with it's tail between it's legs. I snorted in laughter, I was going to stab it but this was just too funny. It backed right back into the stove and accidentally turned it on. A small flame popped up and well, the wolf had it's tail right there. The wolf cried and whined as flames crept up it's tail and burned it's fur. It leapt forward, trying to escape it. Sadly it leapt at me. I yelled as the wolfs large body crashed into me and stood above me. Growling frustratedly as it put it's paws over me and started clawing at the air. I held my knife in my magic, and stabbed it right in the heart. Blood dripped down and the beast fell limply on the ground. I pulled the pot from it's head, and the wolf dissipated into nothing more than dust. The dust floated off and disappeared. I sighed, putting my knife back into it's pocket in my saddlebag. I trotted back up to my room, and somehow the two were still fast asleep. I sighed in relief, and turned off the lights. I crept back down the stairs, and opened the door to the dark, vampire infested world.