//------------------------------// // Potential Problem // Story: The Alien Warriors: Battle for Equestria // by Texas Style Brony //------------------------------// North Smithfield RI Air Force Base Shortly after touching down, a Boeing C-17 Globemaster III opened its back hatch and allowed two black SUVs to exit. After a short 20 minute drive, the SUV's pulled up to a sizable building with a large conspicuous logo on the front constructed out of gigantic bulging blue letters. Hasbro, Inc. Pawtucket, Rhode Island A dozen men wearing black suits with black ties exited the vehicles and briskly made their way into the building. Twelve hours earlier, these agents had performed an investigation in Texas and had just now returned with some urgent news for their superiors. After bypassing a crawling security checkpoint, these well dressed figures made their way through the factory area past a group of children with their parents on tour. One of the children took notice of the passing agents and turned to his mother saying “Hey mommy look! It’s the Men in Black!”. The mother barely noticed as she was busy paying attention to the tour guide. One of the agents wearing a pair of dark ebony shades paused and walk over and kneel in front of the now squealing child. The agent smiled and pulled out something that looked like a pen. A small flash later, the mother turned to her child asking “What is it darling?” only to see her dazed son staring into space, completely unaware of the agent now returning to the group. As they made their way to the back of the factory, avoiding more tour groups, the men approached an elevator. Once huddled in the elevator, one of the men took a key and turned a special lock on the elevator. "What do you think the he is gonna say about this?" One of the agents asked as the elevator car continued to rumble downward even though the floor indicator remained firmly fixed at the lowest level. After adjusting to the downward acceleration of the elevator, another agent replied: "I don't know, but this is definitely too big to ignore." Federal Agency of International and Interdimensional Affairs Headquarters Underground District 42, Rhode Island Upon exiting the elevator, the group of agents entered a large underground warehouse, filled with vehicles, people, and weapons. Many of these things looked remarkably similar to the number of the toys that Hasbro had made and sold across the world. The men briskly began to trek across the warehouse, passing by a man wheeling a cage containing a pink monkey with abnormally large eyes. The cage had a label on it that read: Department: LPS. As they got further along, the team passed by a squad of soldiers in the middle of a training exercise. The burly muscles showing through their shirts put steroids to shame. These men also wore uniforms with special yellow patches that depicted a black eagle head overshadowing a single black star. One of the commanding officers overseeing the soldiers noticed the passing group and called out. "Hey guys!" "Hey, Duke! How's training going?" One of the agents said, slowing his gait. The agent high-fived Duke as he passed, "It's going good! How was the trip to Texas?" "I don't know Duke. We've stumbled onto something huge. Maybe bigger than that time Optimus Prime turned on us..." the agent replied ominously before catching up to the group. "Uh oh... Well, good luck with the Director!" Duke shrugged as he went back to training the G.I. Joes. When the group reached the other side of the warehouse, the agents made their way up some metal grating stairs onto a balcony and entered another door. Upon entrance, the majority of the agents scattered to their offices while two of them approached the office labeled "Director". They knocked on the door. “Come in,” a voice called from inside. The two agents stepped in.  Inside the room was another, much older agent, with a name tag that read Director, sitting at a large rectangular desk. The square shaped room’s three glass walls overlooked the bustling warehouse below. Hanging from the center of the room was a chandelier that sported nine cube shaped lights suspended by small metal poles from a center light. A large flat screen monitor dominated the right side of the room while a boxy bleach white coffee table with a crystal ashtray etched with a diamond pattern occupied the opposite side of the room. The Director’s gaunt frame radiated a stern authority over all his domain, and the light glinting off his slowly balding head only accentuated his dark, narrowed eyes that bored directly into the two agents lurking just inside his doorway. "Mr. Blane, Mr. White, have a seat," the Director indicated a pair of snow white vinyl chairs. The Director waited until the two took their seats before taking advantage of his chair’s intimidating height, "I am aware that that 'rabbit hole' case in Texas turned up some results?" "Yes sir. We have found irrefutable evidence of Equestrian Magic in the area,” Blane, the taller of the two agents, replied. White opened his briefcase and slid a USB drive across the desk to the Director, who then plugged the drive into a laptop he had nearby. Sounds of clicks and keystrokes filled the air for a few seconds as the Director accessed the data. “It’s everything we could dig up. It’s got a map of the area, a couple of flyers and handouts of the event, graphs of magic levels in the area, and any photographs that might be useful, but most of those are pretty much trash since the search teams mucked through there,” White growled. "Good Lord. This graph alone is quite daunting” the Director exclaimed. After reading further in the details, the Director added “And the fact that these boys were likely armed with Nerf guns brings this up to another whole level." "Sir. I understand that their interaction with the natives could cause significant repercussions, but I fail to see the connection toy guns bring." Agent Blane stated flatly. "A very reasonable question, son. Let me tell you." the Director replied. A few taps on the keyboard later and he turned the computer to face them. Images of three different planets filled the screen. The first two looked like Earth, but the second had larger continents and smaller cloud formations. The third planet looked nothing like the other two. It looked like a large metallic ball with pins sticking out of it and with enormous carvings in it. "The second planet is designated EA-119. We believe that this is the planet where Equestria is, since conditions there are ideal with no major storm systems and the fact that its sun and moon appear to revolve around it, and rather erratically at that.” “Appear?” interrupted Agent Blane. “That’s just the thing.” replied the Director. “Upon observing EA-119, we have noticed it’s sun and moon tend to accelerate unexpectedly without cause at certain intervals of their orbits, but nonetheless they still maintain their course.” the Director explained. This seemed of no surprise to the agents considering their previous experiences with the transformers. The Director continued, “The third one was MA-220, but we now know it as Cybertron." "As you both know, Cybertron was destroyed by centuries of civil war along with the transformers that lived on it. EA-119, on the other hand, has had peace for over a millennia and the creatures there maintain that peace. Earth may look like it's somewhere in the middle, but we are becoming more and more like Cybertron every decade. In the last century, we have had wars spanning the planet much like the Transformers, and our history is littered with smaller ones." The Director turned his computer and tapped more before turning the screen back, this time filled with images from mankind’s bloody conflicts. "What’s worse is that, since the twentieth century, mankind's weapons technology has revolutionized our killing. One side needed weapons to give them an advantage over everyone else; the other side created a counter and improved on it. Repeaters became machine guns. Cannons became tanks. Artillery became guided missiles. Aircraft went from being scouts to being offensive bread and butter. The Cold War and its nuclear threat was just another escalation," the Director stated. "An interesting correlation between man and transformers sir, but what does this have to do with Nerf guns and ponies?" Agent White asked, apparently lost by the Director’s monologue. "Ah, yes yes. The thing is we have known about Equestria's existence since the eighties. When our early telescopes detected signs of life on the planet, we had to learn more. Unfortunately, it would take millennia to reach it with our poor space exploration budget.  However, in 2007, we found a potential solution. The Autobots have allowed us to reverse engineer their ‘Space Bridge’ technology, enabling us to travel between worlds light years away in a mere instant. We were able to send observers to study this native species. “They loved what they found: an adorable race of small multicolored horses that were intelligent and peaceful. The species did have an active military, but it rarely fulfilled more than a ceremonial role. Due to their peacefulness, they never advanced their weapons technology beyond the Bronze Age. In order to keep that peace, we decided that it was best to leave the planet alone and spare them from knowing about man or his destructive tendencies. The men left the world undetected, but something went wrong," the Director stated. The two agents shot each other nervous glances at that statement. "Due to our use of the ‘Space Bridge’, it created some sort of,” the Director stopped, his brow wrinkled while trying to find an appropriate word, “‘portal’ that now binds our planets together, and the observers also brought back its unique radiation. It doesn’t harm humans, but it did link our worlds together somehow. That radiation was apparently Equestrian magic. The wormhole that connected our two worlds leaked more of that magic to Earth, and as a result, it now exists in our atmosphere. This has led to one case where two of these horses from Equestria stumbled through the wormhole and ended up in a forest somewhere in Alabama. Unfortunately for those horses, they ended up on the wrong end of some hunters’ guns. We have tried to seal up the wormhole, and besides one entrance at a suburban high school, we thought we had been relatively successful. However, it seems like your case has proven otherwise.” The Director explained. He continued, “The fact that some boys from our world went through that portal is bad enough, but on top of that, they had some Nerf weapons with them.” The two agents stared blankly at him. “You know what Nerf is, right?” he arched his eyebrows. “A cover to give Hasbro public legitimacy?” Blane hazarded a guess. “Wrong. Nerf is our high-tech weapons program. Our program mass-produces toy dart guns that are cheap and harmless on Earth, yet become lethal weapons outside of our atmosphere,” He then pulled up a digital simulation on the computer showing how the Nerf dart worked. “The standard ammunition of the guns are foam darts. The foam on these darts is actually a cheap regenerative smokeless powder that ignites with sudden release of air like in a spring blaster or contact with sudden friction such as in our electronic weapons. Since the foam-powder ignites, it naturally goes away, but upon depletion it will regenerate quickly while the dart head still flies, leaving the darts to be reused. Additionally, at high velocities, the rubber dart head will stiffen to a hardness similar to non-jacketed lead bullet. However, these features only become active when specific non-earth forms of energy, such as Equestrian magical radiation, are present,” The Director continued on. “We started this program after learning that we are not alone in the universe, and that some factions, such as Decepticons, are hostile to Earth. Since the possibility of exploring other worlds is not entirely out of the picture, we now mass produce the weapons for future other-worldly expeditions. To keep the program under wraps, we have made the weapons available to young children considering the fact that kids wouldn’t be using them in conditions where they would become active and that they are so cheap to produce,” The Director finished. “So what do we do?” Agent White asked. “Now, we must get those boys out of there, before they start trouble and before they cause Equestria to fall into war and chaos,” the Director replied. “How do you plan to execute the extraction sir? It’s been weeks since these kids disappeared. They could be anywhere on that planet by now,” Agent Blane raised his eyebrow dubiously. “We have to put together a special team a large scale search and rescue on Equestria. Due to their taste in shock and awe, assigning the G.I. Joes would not be ideal, since we do not want to leave a lasting impact on Equestria, therefore I am going to settle with a lesser route. I am thinking about finding other Nerf players who can be used as soldiers; experts who will already know how another Nerf player would think. They will lead a special force of agents to conduct the expedition. They will have two goals: They must get those boys back home and ensure that our Nerf technology does not fall into the hands - or hooves of these magical little horses. Good lord, it sounds so stupid when I say it out loud,” the Director told them as he massaged his temples. “Sir, what if these boys refuse to return to Earth? What if they’ve already revealed Nerf secrets to these horses and the ponies are already using them?” Agent Blane shifted nervously as silence filled the room “Then…… the boys and any associating horses will need to be terminated,” the Director stated. The two agents blinked in shock. “Those boys will be a threat to Equestria if they refuse to return and if they have sold secrets of our technology to the horses then they will be a threat to us. At that point, their deaths would be the smoothest way to handle the situation. This is why the Nerf soldiers we pick will consist of mostly ‘Anti-bronies’. They will have no remorse if they kill a horse or a horse enthusiast,” the Director stated. “Lucky for you boys, the ‘Space Bridge’ will not be ready for another use until six months from today, therefore you have until then to assemble a team and get them ready. I will also lend you department vehicles to ease supply lines on that world as well as the latest Nerf weaponry to help you complete your mission. Six months, boys. You got that?” “Yes sir.” both agents stood and left the office while the Director sat down and began pondering how to best execute the new plan... Six months later…. After painstakingly hand picking a dozen able commanders from a list of professional Nerf enthusiasts, Agents Blane and White finalized their plans to send in a one-hundred man team into Equestria. One hundred would be far more than sufficient to deal with any rogue wildlife and a potentially hostile military during the their time Equestria while still giving enough manpower to conduct a large-scale search. Agents Blane and White appointed the commanders over nine Hasbro agents apiece and set the remaining two professionals as leaders of the whole battalion Both the commanders and agents were dressed in black: hats, operator gloves, tactical boots, fatigues, and athletic shirts. Their sheer numbers and uniformity stood against the dingy gray walls like a ominous storm cloud broken only by the out of place, cheery flashes of their weapons. A majority of them wore either the standard Nerf tactical vest or custom designed magazine pouches that bulged with extra magazines and darts. A number of the agents boasted the new Elite Regulator assault rifle, a select-fire weapon and the flagship of the Nerf arsenal. Many others carried the new Mega Twinshock shotgun, a powerful close-quarters weapon that combined slam-fire capability with Mega stopping power. A few specialists were equipped with the Raptorstrike sniper rifle, normally a pitiful dart gun that made Nerf pistols look good; but in the presence of the equestrian atmosphere, it becomes a precise long-range weapon. The most devastating weapon carried by a select few was the Rival Nemesis, a lightweight, fully-automatic blaster with a one hundred round capacity hopper magazine. In addition to these various weapons, each man also wore a Disruptor revolver on their waist. Several jeeps and humvees idled nearby pulling trailers squatted low with food, medical supplies, water, ammunition, and any other necessity a moving army would find. They too bore drab shades of greens and browns, but the effect was somewhat spoiled by the candy colored plastic machine guns mounted in place of the expected steel weapons. Soon, Agents White and Blane came to balcony overlooking the troops who were standing in the same warehouse that had once been filled with G.I. Joes, random imprisoned fluffy animals, chests of Monopoly money, and other Hasbro related merchandise. Agent White spoke up, “Gentlemen. You're probably wondering why we've brought you all here today. You're probably asking yourself why you're standing beneath the headquarters of a giant toy company, carrying their toy guns.” Several amongst the group admitted that it sounded quite like a great set up for a massive game. “Well, allow us to enlighten you of our situation” continued Agent White. “Approximately six months ago, a group of five Nerf players went missing during a Nerf competition in Texas. We have strong reason to believe that they have been displaced to a world foreign to ours. You may have wondered ‘why on earth are these numb nuts asking me about ‘My Pretty Pony?’ It turns out that the world that these boys were taken to strongly resembles the same world of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. From your interviews, we now know that you will not be tempted or weakened by the populace of that world as to compromise your mission. ‘What is the mission?’ you ask. The answer is quite simple. Your mission is to get those boys home and make sure that Nerf doesn't fall into alien hands. Again, in response to the question mentioned earlier, ‘Why Nerf?’ You will come to find out that the toys in your hands are actually prototype weapons that will activate once you exit our atmosphere through this portal." Agent White said motioning to the right, where a large portal device, namely the ‘Space Bridge’, had just heated up and begun forming the wormhole to Equestria. After Agent White pointed out the portal and the crowd had time to recover from the shock, a tall, fit young man stepped up next to White. Along with him came another young man who was significantly shorter than the first and completely bald. They both wore the same combat gear as all of the other recruits and both appeared to be in their early twenties, yet they were each armed only with a disruptor pistol while the bald one also carried a large Nerf sword slung over his back. "Gentlemen," Agent Blane stated. "This is Commander Jacob Stevens. He will be leading you on your mission. Along with him is Captain Tyler Finn, his second-in-command."  Stevens walked up to the edge of the balcony. Overlooking the his audience of, as Blane considered, “G.I. Joe wannabes,” Jacob began to speak. "Guys, I know that this may seem confusing. I mean, it sure did to me when I heard that we were going to a world full of magical little ponies,” Jacob said noticeably smiling to himself, before continuing, “However, we have been chosen for our skill set to achieve something which has never been done before: a search and rescue mission on an alien world. We have the resources and the will to get those guys back and, ensure that our technology does not fall into the wrong hands!” After pausing for a short moment, Jacob gave a stern look into each individual’s eyes. “While this all may seem like a joke, I assure you, this will be no walk in the park and I have faith that we WILL prevail in our mission and take back what belongs to OUR world!" As Jacob finished, a thunderous applause erupted from the soldiers. After Jacob had taken a step back and the applause had died down, Tyler Finn stepped forward, drew his sword and pointed it past the battalion while yelling out "Alright, guys. To the trucks!". Soon, Jacob and Tyler climbed down the metal-grated stairs and joined the force as the agents piled into the vehicles with their respective squads. The lead vehicles began crawling toward the large, swirling portal. Soon, as the first hummer drove through each of the soldiers began to wonder what sort of trippy adventure had they gotten themselves into...