Some nights were cold as death, and the roaring wind seemed to knock on the window panes as a beggar asking for shelter. The muffled sound of rain on the roof induced a trance-like state, in which I delved into dreams and reveries. I was then allowed to flow away with the tiny droplets of water, to any sea they carried me.
In these rare moments in which the duality of the world fused into a single state of being, I would not fight or complain, for my body was a feather, and the evening breeze pushed me away.
For each day the troubles of its own, and for each night a foggy numbness to help us forget.
I woke up when the sky was still drenched in purple, the trees could be barely distinguished from the rest of the world, as all but a thin violet lining gave them a shape. The sun was still hidden under the horizon, and clouds that would soon be lead-gray awaited above.
I turned on the bed and my hand fell upon a warm velvet, I felt the texture with the tips of my fingers, allowing them to slid quietly into the shadows of her mane. Luna breathed softly, her chest rising and falling, the rhythm of a life I could've easily taken away.
But here she was against all odds, asleep in my bed after a thunderstorm. Quiet, silent, safe, at least for the time being.
Neither of us wanted to be alone; no more emptiness, no more cold blankets, no more pain.
What Chief Stevenson said the day before had disturbed me almost as much as seeing Luna trapped in the computer screen. Something about those animals running away to drown themselves in lakes was as terrifying as it sounded like. If Luna escaped from the train, who knows what else could've done the same?
Mr. Hopkins had been talking about the devil, it seemed. It's scary when you think you know the nature of your opponent, but it's even scarier when you don't. If it was truly the devil, Hopkins already had the church, his faith, and a bible under his arm. He was prepared.
But what if it wasn't? It seemed to me that mankind could be its own most heinous enemy. Worse than the supernatural, worse than the idea of the devil himself lurking around.
I had nothing to defend myself.
Luna moved softly under my arm, and I was brought back to reality. I met her eyes in the violet-tinted darkness of the predawn; those big blue eyes reflecting shapes I couldn't discern.
"Hey" I whispered. "Sorry" I said, noticing I had started to cuddle with her way too closely at some point of the night.
"No-" She held my arm with a hoof as I tried to move away. "Don't..." She muttered, holding her gaze on me. "Just for a little bit more. Please."
"Alright." I relaxed, letting my arm slowly rest over the contours of her body. "I'm not going anywhere."
Luna closed her eyes again and let out a deep breath, her muzzle was close enough to my neck for me to feel the warm air brushing against my skin.
I couldn't fall asleep again, but her presence was so comforting that it didn't bothered me at all to stay there just hearing and feeling the rise and fall of her breaths.
And for a second, I could swear we were infinite.
By the time the sun finally rose over the horizon I had to get up and close the curtains. Luna barely moved a feather. Yesterday's incident seemed to have drained her, physically and emotionally.
As she slept I started to put the things back on their places, starting by the computer cables and the scattered books and objects that still remained on the floor. Finally, after placing the chair back on its spot, I sat down on it and turned around so I could face the bed. I wouldn't plug the computer back on the socket, not yet.
Instead, I grabbed my wallet and went on to meticulously count the money. I had twelve bucks and a few cents. That was all there was. I didn't know where Billy kept his wallet, but in any case, I hardly think there'd be much more, except maybe for a couple of lousy cigarettes.
I let out a sight and tossed the wallet on my desk.
We would need money. Soon.
I couldn't stay locked inside that house forever, and I definitely couldn't keep Luna in that area for much longer. I wanted to go to Bedford and see with my own eyes what the hell was going on in the town.
While Luna was still lost in her dreams, I took a shower and went downstairs to fix our breakfast. With a sandwich in my hands, I stopped in front of the television; it was on mute since the day before, but for the first time I was glad I hadn't turned it off.
It was tuned to some local news channel; I lived closer to the border with Missouri and Nebraska than I did to Des Moines or some other major city in my state, so it wasn't uncommon for me to bump against this sort of transmission.
These two journalists were talking from St. Joseph — which wasn't very far — the cameras switched from them to a panel on the wall, where a map of the Midwest was shown. A highlighted area encompassing half of the border between the two states flashed in red and white colors.
I hushed to grab the remote and unmute it.
'So all residents are supposed to evacuate the area until 6 PM today, when the decontamination operation is scheduled to start. Is that confirmed by the authorities, Sarah?'
'Yes Paul, it is confirmed, I have just contacted the secretary of the department of health and human services, Mr. Andrew Stones, and the order is indeed, to leave the area until further notice. He also reminds us in his note that — open quote: "Although the decision may seem unprecedented, measures such as these are fundamental for the safety and well being of our citizens, as we have yet to identify the main leakage in the pipelines."
"Bullshit!" I said aloud.
There was no goddamn pipeline of any sort down here. Some deep shit was going on, and I knew that Borealis had something to do with it. I just knew it.
"It's them, isn't it?"
I turned around to find Luna standing near the kitchen counter, you could tell by her eyes that she had just woken up. Her disheveled mane fell all over her face.
I turned off the TV.
"It's a possibility." I said. "Are you feeling anything weird?" I asked. She shook her head negatively.
"You don't have to worry about that, okay?" I crouched in front of her. "We'll be gone before they arrive. Whoever they may be — we'll be far, far away, okay?" I didn't know what I was saying, but something told me it wasn't time yet to surrender. A voice in the back of my mind kept telling me we would be fine.
And for the first time I trusted it.
Luna nodded.
"Great, now listen: there's food on the coffee table-"
"I'm not hungry."
"Luna, you need to eat. You haven't eaten since yesterday." I softly moved the strands of hair away from her eyes. "It's fruit. Just a little bit, okay?" For a second she seemed taken aback by my gesture, but that feeling dissolved itself quickly in the air.
"Okay." She said. "But where are you going now?"
"I have to pack a few things in the car, we'll be leaving by noon." I said, standing up again. "It's going to start raining again; the road gets messy pretty quickly."
I hadn't the slightest idea of where I was supposed to go, or what I'd do once I got there, as a matter of fact, I had never left Bedford in years, and even when I did, my brother or father would come together.
The world used to be this tiny little place for me; the farthest I had been from home was a school trip to Chicago when I was twelve years old. I thought that lake Michigan was the sea, and to this day it is still the closest thing to an ocean I've seen.
But now it was different. Staying wasn't an option anymore — I don't think it ever was.
I unlatched the door and stepped on the front porch, the wooden beams squealed under my feet as I made my way down the stairs. I walked slowly, because I wanted that place to know I was leaving — all the dusty windows and bricks, all the walls with their crackled paintings — all that land and the dying crops. I wanted all of that to know I wouldn't come back.
I had Billy's urn under my left arm, he used to be the one who bound me to that place. Now he was just ash in a box.
All of a sudden I felt like talking — I knew he wouldn't listen; he never listened to me even when he was alive — but I felt like talking anyway.
"You know that pond where dad used to go fishing with us?" I said, walking past the lawn and making a turn around the storehouse. "We haven't been there in years. It used to seem so far away when we were little, but the thing is just down the back road." I chuckled.
Without noticing, I left the house behind and pretty soon I was pushing dead bushes aside with my knees, crossing the thicket that separated our farm from the pond.
Daylight was scattered by the trees creating a mosaic of light on ground, I followed the path of the wind, where leaves whirled around my shoulders and passed me by. It wasn't long until that particular scent of water and wet bark filled my nostrils.
"Like I said... Just down the road." I murmured.
The place looked like a time capsule, a bubble of past in a world that never ceased to change. As if stuck in a loop, the dark waters of the lake reflected the same trees, the same cloudy sky, year after year — even the ropes that once kept our boat tied to the shore retained the same knots.
"You've always liked this pond. I could never figure out why." I said, leaning against a tree. I could feel my father in every inch of that place, I could feel him in the very own silence that hovered around me. "I think I do now."
I opened the urn and without much effort leaned it over the water. The particles of ash flowed with the wind, it all faded like a childhood memory kept for too long.
I let the wooden box fall on the lake after it all was over, the wooden cross carved on the lid disappeared underwater as it sank.
"Goodbye brother."