//------------------------------//
// Saccharine 
// Story: (Not) Black and White: A Displaced Fic 
// by Masterweaver 
//------------------------------//

Pinkamena Diane Pie.

Hoo boy.

Friendly and overeager, that's certainly one way to describe her. It's sort of like describing an ocean as 'big and a bit wet.' It undersells the entire experience--no, it doesn't sell it at all, it's a tangentially related... commercial, thing. I mean...

Pinkie Pie is Pink. Not just 'pink coat, pink mane, and likes girly things.' Pinkie Pie is AGGRESSIVELY Pink. She covers the entire spectrum of pink, from tacky pink to caring pink to 'how is that even a color' pink. I'm not talking about how she looks. I'm talking about how she acts. She has exactly four modes: Party Planner, Friend Cheerer, Toon Physics, and the rarely seen near legendary Sleeping.

Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit. She's got a couple other modes, Listener and Sob Story, but those are attached to the primary three. And... they only happen when she really gets important stuff on her mind. Exactly what she considers important isn't quite predictable, but generally it has to do with interpersonal relationships--hers and others.

And the parties. I've been to a few parties beforehand, but they would have been too low-key for Pinkie. Although, come to think of it, conventions would probably be her speed--aside from the long lines. No, strike that, she would make the lines into mobile Pinkie Parties while she waited. Assuming she got her party cannon past the door...

...I'm actually trying to think how she would do this now. Actually, thinking about it now, Pinkie would probably sign up for the volunteer guardian position as soon as she could and come in with saddlebags packed with party paraphernalia.

The point I'm trying to make: Pinkie Pie is an experience. One that cannot be denied. It's possible to get a handle on her, for very very brief moments, or if you're close. But the first time I ever met her... well...





I had thought my situation was surreal enough. I was walking out of a fantasy forest with a zebra on one side and a yellow pegasus on the other, both about as big as an expensive plushie and just as cute, idly chatting with each other about the goings-on with the animals of the forest (one in rhyme) as we approached a country town in the middle of becoming a minor city, and I myself had been turned into a girl with a very unusual fashion sense, cat ears, and a gun sword strapped to my back.

I had thought that at least, if it got any weirder, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

Then a pink pony rode in on a unicycle, peddling with her forehooves as her rear ones juggled a combination of party hats, cupcakes, a few balloons, two rocks, and a rubber chicken. Also she had a total of seven noisemakers in her lips and was playing a pretty good polka with them.

You never forget an introduction like that. Especially not after you hold the same pony's bleeding form in your arms...

...sorry. That... that doesn't happen for a while. Bad memories. I'm trying to be... trying to keep things in order.

Anyway, my initial reaction was just to come to a standstill and stare. Because, really, what else could I do? Surprisingly enough, the pink pony also slowed to a halt, balancing on her unicycle while a few last awkward toots petered out of her noisemakers.

Zecora quirked an eyebrow.

Fluttershy sighed. "Pinkie, Discord and I have tea on tuesdays. It's wednesday."

"Toooooooooooot," the pink pony tooted in dawning comprehension.

"Discord told her she couldn't possibly surprise him," the pegasus explained. "She's been trying to pull off things like this ever since--"

"Toodliytootoot?"

"What--? Oh." Fluttershy gestured at me, still standing and staring. "This is Briar Blumenthal."

"Tootly tooter!" The pony proceeded to defy all biology by moving her noisemakers to her tail, switching the pair of limbs she was peddling with, and holding out one hoof while juggling with the other, all in the space of a single flip. "My name's Pinkamena Diane Pie, but you can call me Pinkie!"

Yeah, that was... she's flexible. She's like a balloon with bones. But it's REALLY freaky seeing it the first time. It took me a few seconds to realize she was holding her hoof out to me--and I'll admit I hesitated a moment, even as my arm rose, before fist-bumping her.

Awkwardly.

SHE WAS A PINK PONY ON A UNICYCLE. I'm sorry, there's so much more to that situation, but you know that's kind of something that just... what?!

"Welcome to Ponyville!" she chirped brightly. "What's a frazzled fairy filly like you doing here?"

"How merry, a fairy?" Zecora asked.

"Why do you say filly?" Fluttershy asked.

"Do I really look frazzled?" I asked.

"Well duh!" Pinkie pointed at my legs. "She has a cutie mark, so she's clearly a pony, except she's not a pony, so she must have been changed by magic, so she had to live with fairies! And yeah, you do look kind of weirded out by everything. I know the expression."

"I'm more confused at the 'filly' part," Fluttershy admitted. "I mean, with his mating bladders--"

"They're breasts," I admitted, face flushed.

She blinked. "...um. Do males of your species--?"

"This body is female," I said briskly. "Although I only got it recently."

"...so, are you a sequential hermaphrodite--?"

"I am a former male transported to another world and transmuted into a female body with a few odd mutations please do not push this matter further."

For a moment the only sound was the squeaking of balloons and rubber chicken as they hit Pinkie's hoof repeatedly.

Zecora cleared her throat. "We seek Twilight's aide, for as you now know, this situation is strange and not without woe. It might be best to keep close to heart the knowledge my friend did choose to impart."

"Super secret, gotcha." The objects Pinkie was juggling suddenly performed a complicated dance, and three cupcakes ended up on her outstretched hoof. "Here you go! I'll get you a real party later, if you settle in."

I cautiously took the pastries, handing one to each of the equines on either side of me. "Er... thank you." Out of the corner of my eyes, I noted that both Zecora and Fluttershy were casually biting into their treats.

"Oh!" Pinkie turned to Fluttershy. "Should I get the rest of the girls?"

"Hmm? Oh, no." Fluttershy swallowed her bite of cupcake. "Not yet, anyway. Rarity might want to meet Briar to talk about clothes and such, but I don't think Applejack or Rainbow Dash really would... contribute anything to the situation. Oh, but feel free to invite them to the party when it happens."

"Will do! Laters, gators!" Pinkie saluted, spun around, and pedaled away at high speed.

I glanced at the cupcake still in my hands. "So... that was Pinkie Pie?"

"Mmmhmm."

After a moment, I bit into the cupcake--and immediately swallowed. "Um. Wow. Does she buy these or--"

"She works at Sugarcube corner, she's a baker."

"Oh." I took another, slower bite. "Well. She... definitely earns her pay, I guess."

Zecora chuckled. "The taste of her baking you'll not soon forget, and I've not found any sweeter as yet. But let us not stand here in idle chitchat. To Twilight's we must go, that simply is that."

"Right." I nodded as they started off, following after them; my thoughts were slowly, forcibly, being pried away from what had just happened, even as I took another bite of the cupcake.

Something odd struck me, though, and I swallowed. "So... she said I had a cutie mark? What's that mean?"

Fluttershy blinked, turning to me. "Well, what do you call those images on your legs?"

I held up a finger, paused, and looked at my thighs. Sure enough, a particular image was emblazoned on the outer side of my socks, just underneath my shorts--a silvery oval, with two wavy lines framing three curved... fire things.

"Well, I only just noticed that, but I think I'd call it an emblem." I continued walking with a frown. "I mean, that word... feels right..."

"It's just slightly out of position for a cutie mark," Fluttershy explained, gesturing to her hip with a wing. "Ponies get them when we discover our special talent."

I noted, for the first time, the pink and blue trio of butterflies on her flank. "So... you decide what you're good at, and you get a tattoo for it?"

"No, it's... it's a realization of what we're meant to do, and the cutie mark appears." She looked at me. "How did you get your... emblem?"

"I didn't have it before I came to this world."

"...oh." Her ears folded back. "I... didn't know that."

"...these cutie mark things... they're important to you ponies?"

"When a foal is ready to grow up, or at least start, a mark will appear as a guide to their heart." Zecora smiled faintly. "My kind has it different; we meditate long, but our destined symbol has a bond just as strong."

I nodded. "It's... it's a very pretty mark, Fluttershy. And who knows," I added with what I hoped was a jovial tone, "these things might mean something too! I just... have to figure it out."

Fluttershy glanced up at me. "Well, if you do... I'll help out how I can."

Neither of us realized, at the time, just what she had promised.