//------------------------------// // And Now a Word from Our Sponsors // Story: The Breaking Straw // by Shinzakura //------------------------------// The camera panned in to reveal the set of a news broadcast, with two global maps in the back as well as several banks of monitors showing television feeds from around the world.  An announcer calls out, “This is Reuters’ Behind the Headlines: our weekly look at the issues facing both worlds today.  And now, your wonderful hosts, James Blackwell and Newsflash!” The camera pans in to show a human male with dark brown hair and an impeccable suit, looking at a laptop.  Next to him, a cream-colored pegasus mare with a perfectly-coiffed mane of blue and green and wearing a suit as well sits, looking at a tablet. The man looks up and smiles for the camera.  “Hello, and welcome to Behind the Headlines, your weekly look at what’s more than just page one of your daily newsfeed.  I’m James Blackwell.” The pegasus pipes up.  “And I’m Newsflash.”  She then continues to look at the camera as an icon floats to her top right.  “This week’s top news story: major shakeups rock Equestria.  Long known for its stability on Alter-Earth, the government of Equestria has been a rock-solid foundation upon which the order of Alter-Earth has rested.  But two major announcements this week have sent shockwaves through Equestriani society, and possibly even both worlds.” The icon floating above Newsflash’s shoulder changes to a picture of Princess Celestia.  “The first is the news that Princess Celestia, in the wake of the attacks on three Equestriani cities, including the capital itself, has declared war on the Changeling Empire and invoked Article 5 of the North Atlantic Treaty.  This puts the potential of the mobilization of the Equestria Armed Forces, as well as those of other NATO members such as the United States, the United Kingdom and Griffonica, as all but a certainty.” Blackwell then spoke up.  “But the news coming out of Belgium may not be what the Equestriani Crown wants to hear.  We go now to our correspondent, Eyan Campbell.” The screen switches to a man with sandy blonde hair, standing outside a large building.  “Thanks, James.  I’m reporting here from just outside NATO’s Supreme Headquarters, Allied Powers Europe, also known as SHAPE, where a major meeting was just conducted between the NATO Secretary-General Georg Döbeln and the various ministers of defense of the forty-two member nations.”  Campbell nodded off-screen, then added, “Fortunately, I’ve been joined by US Army General Perry Wolfram, NATO Supreme Allied Commander, Europe, as well as Commander of the US European Command.  General, thanks for joining us.” Wolfram nodded genially.  “Glad to be here.” “What can you tell us about the meeting?” Wolfram sighed.  “Well, the nations of NATO stick together – we are an alliance, after all – but it’s interesting that the first nation to declare Article 5 of the Treaty is one of the Alliance’s newest members, as well as the superpower of their world.  For years, Equestria has kept the peace there on Alter-Earth, and now with this new threat, it’s up to the nations of the Alliance to assist our friends in need.” “General, you mentioned Article 5.  Can you tell our viewers what that is?” “Of course.  Article 5 of the North Atlantic Treaty, recently amended in 2031, commits each member state to band together in defense of one another.  In short, an attack on one is an attack on all.  Now, in recent history, it was almost invoked in 2016 during the Ukrainian Crisis; and 2032, during the Turkey-Syria Conflict.  Basically, any NATO member state bordering the north Atlantic or Ethopic oceans, is entitled to the defense of the Alliance if so invoked.” “Any issues that you may foresee?” “Well, I can’t talk to actual military action, as that would have to be decided on by the Secretary-General and the Council – but I can assure your viewers that even if the Alliance takes no action – and the chances of that are unlikely – individual nations can contribute to the aid of the requesting nation.  It’s no secret that the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, the Netherlands, and Griffonica have already agreed to assist Equestria should the worst occur.”  Wolfram chuckled.  “The Equestriani Minister of Defense, Gen. Rainbow Dash?  Oh, she’s been a firebrand and very eloquent about her nation’s needs.  Off the record, I wouldn’t be surprised if she swayed more than a few other nations.” “I see.  Anything else you can tell us, General?” “Yes, I’d like to speak to your Equestriani viewers.”  The general looked directly at the camera.  “You all have been through a rough time, and we here on Human-Earth understand that.  We know those bad times, too.  But you can rest safe, because you have friends here.  There’s a saying in Equestriani English: ‘friendship is magic’.  Well, if I may, friendship is firepower, too.” “I’m sure they’re glad to hear that, General.  Thanks for your time.” “Glad to help.”  The general walked off-camera, and it refocused on Campbell.  “Well, that’s the current situation here in SHAPE.  Reporting from Belgium, I’m Eyan Campbell for Reuters News.  Back to you in the studio, James.” “Thanks, Eyan.  We’re back in the studio, with another perspective on the military issues facing Equestria.  We now have in our studio Dr. Douglas Nicol, Director of the Biplanetary Institute for Military Studies, and he’s also the author of Damn Ponies: How the Superpower Status of Alter-Earth Affects the Current Hyperpower Status on Human-Earth.” The camera then pans to a different set, where Newsflash and Nicol are seated at a table.  “Dr. Nicol, thanks for joining us,” Newsflash tells him.  “What made you decide to write Damn Ponies?” Nicol chuckled.  “Provocative title aside, it’s actually a sort of sequel to a book I wrote a few decades back called Damn Yanks: How the Hyperpower Status of the United States Affects the Geopolitical Status of the World.  Of course, that book was relevant to when we only knew about this world, so an update was in order.” “I see.  Would you care to tell us more about your book?” “Of course.  During the period of the Cold War, which ran from the late 1940s to the 1990s, we had two superpowers, the US and the USSR.  This of course changed in the 1970s and 1980s with the two wars between the USSR and the People’s Republic of China.  For the rest of humanity, we know the rest: the wars caused the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1990 and decades of economic depression and civil unrest in China.  By the time Alter-Earth appeared on the scene, the US was the undisputed military and economic powerhouse of the world, and now both Russia and China are climbing out of their respective situations and may yet again change the political landscape. “However, it is interesting that on Alter-Earth, there are three nations that can be considered superpowers.  Of course there is Equestria, which is the one that most people on Human-Earth know about, but there are two others: the Republic of Donkonia, and the Empire of Inari.  But here’s the thing: AE’s superpowers cooperate.  HE’s superpowers have always been pitted against one another: from Carthage and Rome to Britain and France to the Cold War, human powers have always struggled against themselves.” Newsflash raised a brow.  “How so?” “Well, it’s been theorized that had the wars between China and the Soviet Union not happened, the US would have had to build up their military forces to counter the USSR.  While the USSR would’ve had fallen in any scenario, that would’ve prepared for the rise of China, with some theorists even believing that war between the US and China would have occurred in the 2050s.  Thankfully, that never happened.  But the point is that Human-Earth’s hyperpower could stand to learn from the Alter-Earth superpowers, and vice versa.  By learning, we keep the peace and ensure prosperity for all.” “I see.  And you think that Human-Earth could stand to learn a little more friendliness and cooperation, Dr. Nicol?” “I do.  And I also believe that Alter-Earth could stand to learn to prepare for the worst in ways that many cannot imagine.  It is one thing to prepare for a parasprite infestation ransacking your crops and national food supply, but with the current concerns of Equestria militarywise, I dare say that they have yet to learn a level approaching the military prowess of a nation like New Zealand, much less the United States.” Newsflash nodded, leaning forward.  “We’re almost out of time, Doctor.  Is there anything else you would like to contribute?” He nodded.  “I was born and raised in the Falklands and I remember the Falkland Islands War clearly.  Oftentimes we do not like to prepare for war, and we’d much prefer to go the peaceful route, as you ponies have.  But, with all due respect, with three of your cities attacked, your weather systems in ruins and countless lives lost, well, to use an American phrase, ‘it’s time to drop the hammer.’” “Well, thank you for your time, Dr. Nicol.” “It’s been a pleasure, Ms. Newsflash.” Newsflash turned to the camera and said, “We’ll be right back after this quick word from our sponsor.” Ever want that pick-me-up during the day but don’t want to deal with the calories?  Are you craving sweets, but don’t want all that sugar intake? Well, now you don’t have to worry – introducing Magisnax, from Kellogg’s!  Created in Equestria with our partners at Sugarcube Corner Bakeries, these snacks are fortified with magic, so you get all the taste and none of the calories! A woman, jogging down the street stops and reaches into her fanny pack, pulling out a garish wrapper and pulling it apart to reveal a large chocolate bar.  The woman takes a bite and looks as if she’s in ecstasy. Magisnax come in three flavors: Triple Chocolate Fantastariffic, Cookies and Cream Extravastupendous and Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness!  These are sure to provide a pick-me-up just when you need it! A mare, typing away at a computer in an office, unwraps one and pops it in her mouth.  At once she seems to perk up and starts working faster. New Magisnax, from Kellogg’s!  Available at your local grocer.  Don’t wait – try one today! 70s funk starts playing in the background as the screen begins to show a run-down section of an Equestriani city. Detrot.  It’s a dirty town.  Salt dealers, gangbangers and the Sheriff’s Office is on the take.  All but one. Scene of a dark brown pegasus walking down the street with shades, an open-collar purple shirt and holstering a couple of pistols and a sawed-off shotgun. Somepony’s got to clean up this Tartarushole and he’s just the stallion to do it. The music rises towards a crescendo, accompanied by wah-wah pedals and a deep bassline. After all, he’s a bad motherbu— Shut yo mouth! Scenes of the stallion bucking various villains and firing his weapons.  Explosions abound and in a final shot, the stallion walks away bipedally, his shotgun slung over one foreleg, as a massive fireball lights up the sky. He’s the pony none will mess with.  He’s got a way with the mares.  And he don’t put up with nothin’. Tough Cookie is…GEARSHAFT.  Coming to theaters this October. The screen fizzled in on a black and white earth pony stallion wearing a suit standing in the middle of a Canterlot park. “Interspecies relationships. They’re becoming more and more common, but sometimes the biological gap is just too big to bridge,” the stallion said in a warm and calm voice as he walked past a gryphon male and donkey female sitting on a park bench.  The camera changed to show a young pegasus stallion with slicked back hair wearing a leather jacket looking longingly at something behind the point of view. “How’s it hanging, champ?” the earth pony stallion said as he walked into view. “Got your eye on some sweet young mare?” “Yeah. As a matter of fact, I do.  At least if you don't mind about getting the grammar wrong,” the pegasus said as he motioned with his hoof.  The camera changed to show a young human woman of Indian subcontinental descent wearing a white hat and sundress reading a book beneath a cherry blossom tree.  “She’s the most wonderful girl in the worlds. Sweet, kind, smart, and gams for days.” The camera switched back to the two stallions.  “But there’s a problem, isn’t there, sport?” The pegasus stallion got depressed and his hoof dropped.  “It’s nothing big, it's just….” “Every time you get close to her your appetite dies, and when it seems like you’ve made a real connection you have to hold back the urge to throw up in her lap, right?” the suited pony finished. “Yeah, you got it, Mac.  But I’m not worried, I’ve got a solution,” the pegasus said before pulling out a heavy book. He put it out in front of himself and was about to slam it into his muzzle before the earth pony stopped him with a hoof. “Whoa there, scamp!  Before you go trying any dangerous ‘traditional remedies’ why don’t you try this?”  The earth pony reached into his suit and brought out a bottle of pills. “Golly gee.  What is it?” the pegasus asked, dropping the book and picking up the pill bottle. “Dr. Silver Sutures’ Patented Acute Acetic Acid Blocker!  It prevents you from smelling the acetic acid pheromone that human females give out without the nasty side effects of previous cures such as the boot to the head and book to the face, and it lasts for twelve hours too,” the earth pony stallion explained. “Wowzers! It sounds incredible. No side effects?” the pegasus asked excitedly. “Ask your doctor,” the earth pony corrected in a voice that clearly sounded overdubbed. “A small price to pay for love!” the pegasus declared, popping a pill and then jumping into the air.  “Science is so amazing!”  The pegasus flew off towards his girl and the earth pony stallion chuckled. “Indeed it is, champ. The future is now, thanks to science,” and then the stallion turned to the camera.  “And if you too have issues of the olfactory variety, try Dr. Silver Sutures’ Patented Acute Acetic Acid Blocker today.  Don’t let your nose get in the way of your future.” The scene changes once more to the news studio, where Newsflash is at the desk.  “We’re back and you’re watching Reuters’ Behind the Headlines.  I’m Newsflash.” She turns to a different camera and to her side is an image – an unflattering picture of Princess Luna.  “While in our last segment we discussed the military situation facing Equestria, our second segment touches on something a little closer to the heart of the Equestriani government: Princess Luna’s recent public admission of a hidden love child that she had with a human man and of her intentions to wed the man and make him her prince consort.” The image changed to that of a human male.  “While the Palace has not released further information, unnamed sources state that the man in question is Robert “Robin” Kirkland, the head of the Kirkland Corporation, one of the largest corporations in the US and indeed on Human-Earth.  Further suspicion falls upon Kirkland’s only child, a girl by the name of…Luna Kirkland.  While we do not have a picture of Ms. Kirkland, sources further state that there were some questions regarding her birth, including a contested divorce between Robin Kirkland and his first wife, who at the time was believed to be Luna Kirkland’s mother. “We now take you to our correspondent at Canterlot Palace, Brute Strength.  Brutus, can you fill us in on any recent developments?” The view shifts to the well-manicured grounds of the Canterlot palace complex; in the background, construction can be seen as the city begins rebuilding.  In the foreground, there is a light brown minotaur with black horns and a thin, almost-human build.  He’s wearing a gray suit with a red tie, and expensive eyeglasses.  He then speaks into a microphone, but there’s no sound. The view quickly shifts back to Newsflash.  “Our apologies, we seem to be having connection issues with our crew in Canterlot at the moment.”  She looks off-stage and then back to the camera.  “Our director just informed me that we’ve reestablished a connection.  Brutus, can you hear us?” The camera shifts once more to Brute Strength, who’s holding a hand to his earpiece and speaking into the microphone once more.  “Newsie, can you hear me?” Off camera, Newsflash declares, “Yes, we can hear you now, Brutus.  What developments do you have for us?” Strength looked at the camera.  “Yes, we have some recent developments.  The first actually comes from the United States, in the State of California for the Superior Court of Ventura County.  Robin Kirkland’s first wife has filed a civil suit against him, Princess Luna, and the Crown of Equestria to the tune of 19.6 billion dollars, or 21.8 billion bits.  The woman, Saffron LaMontagne, claims that she was impregnated by her then-husband with Princess Luna’s fertilized egg, and while much of this was apparently brought up during the initial divorce, Luna’s admission to being the mother of Luna Kirkland has, according to the suit, ‘brought credence to the fact that Ms. LaMontagne was illegally used as a surrogate mother.’” Now shown in a small box in the lower left of the screen, Newsflash’s face shows visible surprise.  “Forgive me, Brutus but…$19.6 billion? Ƀ21.8 billion?” “That’s the price tag for a modern divorce nowadays.  For the record, I’m told this beats the 2036 divorce between casino magnate Donald Trump Jr. and his wife, which adjusted for inflation would be $17.1 billion today, and this is on top of the $682 million Ms. LaMontagne received at the initial divorce proceedings.”  He gave a smile and chuckled.  “This is just a reminder why I’m not planning to divorce my wife anytime ever.” “No kidding.  Anything else you can tell us?” “Officially, there’s not much coming out of the palace right now, other than information regarding the military effort.  However, unnamed sources have stated that Princesses Celestia and Luna are somewhat at odds right now, with Princess Cadance having to play a peacekeeper role.  But media experts point out that Princess Cadance’s own position is somewhat compromised with the recent announcement of her adoption of what some have called a ‘changeling’.  Further, it has been rumored that Duchess Twilight Sparkle herself has also adopted a changeling as well.” “I’m sorry…changeling?” “Yes, and there’s been rumors swirling about a breakaway faction of the changelings who not only wish to side with Equestria, but that their queen was raised as a pony.  We have no confirmed information of this, but a press conference on the supposed issue is scheduled for tomorrow.” “Any last bits of info, Brutus?” “Yes, the Canterlot Times-Herald conducted its annual poll on the Royal Family’s popularity and…the results have been shocking.  For the first time since the Times-Herald has run these polls in nearly two hundred years, dissatisfaction with the Royal Family has reached an all-time high of five percent.  Lowest in the polls of the family as individuals were specifically Princess Luna, Princess Cadance and Duchess Twilight, all of whose poll numbers threatened to sink below ninety-five percent due to their recent public actions.  As a bit of a corollary, Prince Blueblood and his wife Princess Champagne Dreams has scored exceptionally high amongst the Royal Family, a move that royal-watchers are saying has done much to rehabilitate the prince’s image from his earlier ‘wild foal’ days.” “Well, they have said that Princess Champagne has done wonders for her husband, and it shows.” Brutus nodded.  “In fact, I’d had a chance to talk informally with our camerapony about that and his words were, ‘That mare’s so popular they should clone her and give one to each member of the Royal Family – maybe she’d fix their problems, too.’”  Strength smiled and said, “But I’m afraid that’s all we have for now on our end, so we’re signing off.  Reporting live from the Canterlot Palace Complex, this is Brute Strength for Reuters News.  Back to you, Newsie.” “Thanks, Brutus.  We’re back in the studio, and with us now is the recently-appointed Equestriani Ambassador to the United Nations, Margrave Spike.” The camera returns to the side table set, where Blackwell and a large purple dragon sit at the table. The dragon is dressed in an expensive-cut suit with a tie that seemed to glitter like diamonds.  Blackwell looks at him and gives him a smile.  “Your grace, thank you for taking the time to join us here at Behind the Headlines.” The dragon gives an affable grin, the easy rictus of someone who comes to it naturally.  “Glad to be here.” “Ambassador, what can you tell us about the situation in your homeland?” Spike shrugged.  “What is there to tell?  Luna found out she had a daughter and decided that she needed to be a mother, especially since as I understand it she’d still held a torch for her daughter’s father all this time.  Trust me, having two parents is better than nothing, especially since it’s something I know well.” “And so you have no problem with a pony adopting a human?” “No, especially since Luna’s not adopting, she’s taking in her natural child.  And even if her daughter was adopted, I still don’t see the problem.  I mean, c’mon, I’m a dragon, but I was raised by two loving unicorns who didn’t care what I was.  My parents loved me just as much as they did my brother and sister, and I am the drake I am today because of that.  I should add that goes for my sister and my sister-in-law’s recent adoptions of their foals.” “But their foals are changelings.  Given the fact that Princess Celestia has declared war on the Changeling Kingdom, isn’t that a concern?” “No, Mr. Blackwell, I don’t see it as such.  Take, for example, the flutters – the breakaway changelings who have allied themselves with Equestria.  As I understand it, Queen Imago is the direct descendant – I suppose you could say daughter – of the rogue queen Chrysalis, and yet Imago chose to side with ponies.  Blood was thicker than water and yet Imago chose peace for her flutters.  Since it’s been mentioned that Queen Imago was raised by ponies since she was a nymph, there’s another powerful case that it’s about the parents, not the species.” “And as to the possibility of a human prince consort in the halls of Equestriani power?” “It wouldn’t matter, because it wouldn’t be the first time that we’ve had that kind of non-pony influence in the government.  I’m the most obvious exception, but there are others: about three hundred years ago, one of the minor princes who had served as Princess Celestia’s right-hoof pony married a Griffonican princess as part of an agreement between our two nations.  History states that even though they had no offspring, Prince Caliber and Princess Gemstone were as happy as could be, and Gemstone even became a national hero due to her repeatedly leading guard troops against Pawcho Villa and his jaguar brigands.  Even today, Princess Gemstone is remembered as a role model for both the Royal Equestriani Guard and the Equestria Armed Forces.  The Princess Gemstone Academy in Cirrusburg is viewed as the elite school for pegasi.  And to Equestriani gryphons, she is considered to be the pinnacle of what it means to be a gryphon and an Equestriani citizen.”  Spike leaned forward and added, “So if Robin Kirkland becomes a prince, I hope to be the first there to welcome him to the family, because that’s where it all begins.” “Let’s change tracks a bit, Ambassador, if you don’t mind. What do you think about this recent lawsuit by Mr. Kirkland’s first wife?” Spike was silent for a few seconds.  “Okay, I’m not going to get into the particulars, because I’m not a lawyer…well, okay, technically I am, but I don’t practice law.  But what I can say, and I don’t doubt that Luna or her beau would disagree, is that the woman in question—” “Saffron LaMontagne,” Blackwell supplied. “—yes, her, thanks.  Anyway, Ms. LaMontagne has probably had a tough life.  22 billion bits’ worth of tough?  I don’t know and I don’t feel I’m qualified to say.  But I…I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes, because no matter what?  She has to live with whatever humiliation and headaches she’s had, and I’m sure many of them have been unfair.  Frankly, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” “I see.  Well, I’m afraid we’ve run out of time.  Thank you for joining us, Ambassador.” Spike gave a toothy grin.  “Anytime, Mr. Blackwell, anytime.” Blackwell turned to the camera.  “And that’s it for this edition of Behind the Headlines.  I’m James Blackwell, and on behalf of my partner Newsflash and the rest of the staff, have a wonderful evening and remember: an informed mind is an engaged mind.  Good night.”