A/N: guess what? I didn't write the majority of this chapter at 2:00 in the morning! That will certainly mean good things for the quality and funner-ness of the chapter. That grammar was intentional. Completely.
Either way, this isn't really important, but EqD rejected the story. Not because it was badly written, but because it was a self insert. I don't mind, and most self inserts are not good at all, so I'm not surprised either. Just thought I'd put that out there.
Also, remember to rate! If we somehow got this thing to the featured bar, that would complete my life. I'm serious. That would fill me with so much joy that I would have a muscle spasm, sqee with joy, and then explode into confetti. that sounds like Pinkie's death throes, now that I think about it...
Also, if anypony felt like they wanted to do fan art of this (Which I doubt), then just send me a PM and we can discuss that!
* * * * *
Ah, mornings. Always there earlier than you would like, interrupting your blissful slumber. Or not so blissful, you could be having a nightmare. Regardless, sunlight streaming through a window, birds chirping outside, the smell of flowers and dew in the soft, gentle wind was present.
This morning, I found it shockingly refreshing. Usually, I hate mornings, unless it's like today, where I just enjoy it for no reason, or when there is a new pony episode to watch. Since the latter doesn't matter anymore, I guess it's just one of those mornings.
I became aware of the warmth of the comforters wrapped around me first. They were really cozy, and I felt like nothing could could get me out of them. Although, I don't really need them, since I have a coat, being a pony and all, but that just means the comfort has been doubled!
When I finally got the energy to open my eyes, I found Twilight's face nearby. Again. I now see the error in not informing her of her past mistake. But what is a filly to do when they can't time travel? Nothing. You do nothing but hope a time traveler comes to your aid.
The weird thing is that I just went 'meh' and didn't give a buck. It wasn't worth it to get out of bed, the comfort was too great; it taken control. In fact, to be completely honest, I wasn't even surprised or uncomfortable this time.
See, usually I don't get bothered by things. Like when I first heard about clop, I just nodded with a serious face. Like this one: :/
And this was no exception. So I laid there, not caring, content to let the morning continue at its own pace. To occupy my mind, I stared at Twilight. Even with the context of it, sleeping ponies are still adorable as hay. This is fact. It cannot be denied by any living organism.
And she twitched around too. Her ears would do these little flops, and I would almost sqee with joy. I may have been transported to Equestria, turned into a pony, turned into a filly but I can still let my brony-ness shine through every once in a while. Or would it be Pegasister-ness? I don't know anymore.
So now that I had been filled up with pony, I decided that I should go and find some food. You know, that thing that's important for our survival. yeah, that thing. You know what I'm talking about. I hope.
Getting out of bed, however, meant figuring out how to get out of the covers. It's times like these that I could really do with some thumbs. If only Spike were nearby, and I had a hacksaw, then I might be able to acquire some. Yet another reason to get out of bed.
I slowly squirmed my way out from the cover's warm embrace. I then rolled off of the bed and to the floor, somehow landing on my hooves. I'm like a cat. Nyan~!
I glanced around the room, and found what I was looking for. If only I had magic, I could grab it without crossing the room, but we can't all get our wishful thinking of laziness. Unless we can? Hold on, let me check... nope, can't get my wish. Do'h!
Trotting over to the little dresser, I stared at myself in the mirror. The wavy appearance had somehow stayed in my mane, and although I always envisioned myself with a more ragged mane, it worked. Much better than what I had in mind. If only my mind were a physic...
But alas, it is not, so I will have to live life in the normal fashion. By which I mean get threatened by weird clockwork dragons that want to eat my dimension juice or something. Was that close? You probably know better than me, to be honest.
Enough lollygagging! I had a tough task to do, and it would require all of my concentrated effort. Picking something up. May as well give up now, if how long it took to walk is any indication. Regardless, it was something that had to be done.
After staring at a brush for a few minutes, trying to find a good way to grip the darned thing, my lazy (by that I mean only) side kicked in and before I could stick a cupcake in my eye, I was back in bed. With Twilight. Let me check something. yep, I'm still meh.
Sleep did not come, unsurprisingly. It wasn't like I was deeply troubled by something. That includes the weird god thing, by the way. No, it was simply that I had only recently woken up. Hold on, what time is it? My internal clock must be screaming in agony right now!
Turns out, it was morning. That was perhaps the only thing I didn't expect. It could be midnight, noon, or something not known to human kind, and it would be more expected than waking up at the right time. Weird.
The pillow was soft. That was a really abrupt change from what I was talking about before, but it needed to be said. It was vitally important that this information be passed on to the people beyond the screen, so that my legacy can be, 'the pillow was soft'. Genius.
Then I felt something bump into my side. What in the hay could that be...? Oh, it's just Twilight, ignore it- wait, what!?
Indeed, still asleep, Twilight had rolled over and was now sitting literally next to me. I would be lying if I said something like we were inches apart, but we weren't. More like one hundredth of 2.5 centimeters, carry the five, round that...
Other than making crappy math jokes, I didn't know how to respond. First option: freak out and blush like a tomato. Option two: Enjoy the moment in a creepy bout of self-satisfying shipping. In real life. Tough decisions, tough decisions.
My solution? Nothing. Nada. Zip-a-dee-doo-da. Just keep on sitting there. If I freaked out, it could make Twilight embarrassed. Admittedly something cute, but would ultimately weigh on my conscious. If I enjoyed it too thoroughly, I would start creeping myself out. Not something everyone can do.
The middle ground seemed like the best option. Don't make anypony feel bad, and don't make myself feel bad. That doesn't mean I couldn't enjoy her coat against mine. You know, this is starting to sound like clop. *continues anyways*
Time flowed by like a river made out of melted chocolate. Let me explain that metaphor. See, it being a river meant it went quickly, but since it was chocolate, it was both enjoyable and not too fast. Now, the trout mean something else entirely, but that would require way more time than I have randomly decided to allot myself.
Weird convoluted metaphors aside, nothing happened. The sun rose higher into the sky, birds flew about outside the window, a mare much older than me (Supposedly) was leaning against my side asleep. All was good.
That made me think. How does age work in Equestria? Is everypony around me actually really old or something? Or really young? Who knows! I don't, that's for sure!
Now, I have a deep and meaningful relationship with life. One thing he does not tolerate is me thinking too hard on anything, or getting work done. Wait, that's two things. Close enough. Regardless, Life has a way of interrupting things.
So, that is when Twilight woke up. She rolled away from me before anything else, and then opened her eyes. At least I k-know *Sniff* that I-I'm loved... loud crying11!!1!!!!!
"Oh, um... what time is it, Sunny?" Well, looks like we already have nicknames for a fake name that was made up on the spot for a kid turned into a pony of the opposite gender. Things sure are moving fast, aren't they?
"It's something like... six thirty in the morning."
"We woke up at a normal time?" She seemed confused. I would have been as well, if I had checked the clock just after waking up. It took me a few seconds.
"Yep! Doesn't seem possible, does it?"
"Not in the slightest."
I smiled. Conversations with ponies were fun. "Should we go see Applejack again?" Because so many important things happened last time. So much stuff that I forget it all. That was the only logical solution.
"Well, why not? Maybe we could get some breakfast while we're at it!"
"That sounds like the greatest plan ever known to ponykind."
Twilight raised one eyebrow. "You really picked up on our slang pretty quickly."
"I have my sources." Without further ado, I bolted out of the room laughing like a maniac. I dare say my female insane laughter is even better than my male insane laughter. Even if I wasn't a pony, that one thing would have made it all worth it. I don't know what I would I would do without my laugh.
I could hear Twilight giving chase. "What does that even mean!?"
"You'll never know if you don't catch me~!" I ran even faster. I didn't notice at the time, but in hindsight I was at the level of skill with my legs that I could run. Without tripping. That is total blasphe-
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Rebooting... 100% complete.
Whoa! My thoughts just stopped for a moment there. Maybe I'm finally going insane? I'm surprised that it took this long, quite frankly. I guess I'm made of stronger stuff then I give myself credit for ( >:D> ). Or maybe I've been insane this whole time, and never actually went to Equestria. That's a depressing thought. Back to running!
She did manage to tackle me eventually, and we tumbled to the ground laughing, this time with less insanity. You have no idea how fun it is prancing about with the purple pony while playing. P words, I wuv them so.
"Oh noes... you caught me. I guess I have to reveal my secret."
Twilight was breathing hard from the exercise. She looked like she needed a good tickling. "Yes.. please tell me."
"The liopleurodon told me!" I don't think Twilight even knew what a liopleurodon was. You need to learn your references properly, Twilight! I expect it on my desk by Monday. How you manage to a make a reference into a solid form is up to you.
"And what in tarnation are ya'll doin' chasin' each other 'round here?" Applejack remarked as she trotted up to us, basket of apples on her back.
"Oh, we were coming to see you actually."
"And to get food."
"Way to be polite, Sunny."
Applejack just chuckled. "you sound more like a lil' filly than a grown mare."
That confused me for a second. Or two. More like ten seconds. "What do you mean 'like a grown mare'? I'm only thirteen."
Now Applejack looked confused. "That's when ya'll are considered an adult, right?"
"No."
"Well, you look like a full grown mare now."
I had to agree there. You know, hindsight is both a blessing and a curse. It lets you notice things you wouldn't have, but after the fact. It also irritates the hell out of you. I looked like a full grown mare, was as tall as a full grown mare, sounded like a full grown mare, and yet somehow hadn't made that conclusion. So was I an adult now? I guess puberty really does hit fast!
Then my mind got working. Specifically the part that deals with the truckloads of shipping I read. Or, read. Wait, that looks the same in text. The first was was present tense, and the second was past tense. There, that clears some things up.
Anyways, that meant I was the age where I could be... dating, I guess? In love? More serious things? Wait, how old are Twilight and Applejack?
"How old are you two?"
"Fourteen."
"Thirteen."
So Twilight is the same age as me, and Applejack one year older. Weird, never thought something like this would happen. Except I did, if only for a moment. Maybe I am physic...
"So... huh." I didn't know what to say. Seriously. I was at a loss for words. What do you say to that? What!?
"You mean you weren't full grown yet?" Twilight looked bewildered. "How big do you get?"
"Up to seven feet."
She almost fainted, right then and there. Guess the thought of a seven foot tall beast scared them. Or maybe just a seven foot tall intelligent beast, since dragons are huge... wait, Spike is smart! I don't know anymore! GAH!
"Maybe ya'll should get sum' breakfast in you." Applejack said in a drawl that contained only hints of awkwardness. It was a unanimous decision; we needed food.
* * * * *
"That hit the spot." I leaned back from the worn wooden table. Hay is the best thing since sliced bread, by the way. It tastes more awesome than it has any right too. Seriously, somepony needs to sue it. No wait, don't do that! I like hay! Just ignore what I said, and we can keep living in mutual not caring.
"I'll say. That was an excellent meal, Applejack." I don't even know what Applejack did to the hay, I just know it satisfied both me and Twilight. That must mean it is amazing.
"Aw, shucks. Ya'll are too kind."
"No, we're not kind enough. You need more affection!" I dived towards Applejack with the intent of giving her a glomp to remember, but she dodged. Curses!
"Ha, you can't catch me that easily!" She ran out the front door, and I gave chase. I'm just on a chasing roll, aren't I? We ran in between all of the trees, the scent of apples trying to keep up with us. It failed of course, but that didn't stop it from trying. At some point, we broke out of the tree line and into a dirt path that seemed to lead to Ponyville.
"I am... officially... pooped." I lay down like a normal pony, with my legs tucked away underneath me. It felt like I was hugging myself. Ponies have the best physiology, don't they? You don't get to answer that. A decision has already been reached. It was yes.
"Ah.. can agree with ya' there..." Applejack laid down as well, next to me. A sudden peace came over me, and everything felt right with the world. This one specifically, since you guys over on Earth could be waging nuclear war for all I know.
I looked at my mane, and found myself oddly dismayed to see that it was in a state of disarry. It needed professional help, and quick! There was only one pony who could do what needed to be done, and that pony was...
Rarity!! *lightning flash*
Applejack was looking at me funny. "Why are you lookin' at your mane like that?"
"Because it needs help!"
"Oh for the love of-" Applejack face-hoofed, "You were supposed to be a guy, right?" I nodded, "You aint actin' like one!"
I laughed. "What can I say? I'm a fast learner!" I then stood up and began trotting into town, with the intent of finding Rarity. When I actually entered the town, everypony was giving me weird looks. Was it because I was still human... somehow? Or maybe just because I'm new. That makes more sense, since I just checked, and yup, still a pony.
At some point, all the looking was starting to creep me out. Nopony was saying anything either, which only made it worse. I wasn't sure, but I think there were a few blushes in the crowd. That is what I call a vague explanation!
So I'm a nice looking mare, I guess. Who is the right age to stop being single. I should really feel more awkward than this, but I just don't care! If I'm going to live in Equestria, I have to get used to ponies who potentially want to fall in love with me. Okay, that should have very thoroughly unnerved me. And yet, I still don't give a buck~!
I quickly found the Carousel Boutique. It wasn't that hard, since it was one of the only fancy looking places around. I opened the door, without knocking, and loudly proclaimed, "I hast arrived, Rarity! I seek thine attention!"
Turns out, rarity was working with a customer. He was a chestnut brown stallion, with a short and well kept light blue mane. His Cutie Mark was a top hat that had shine marks around it.
They both turned towards me in shocked confusion, and rarity gave a happy wave. The stallion just stared.
There was no doubt that he was blushing.